Profile help

Velma would you check these pics

I hope you meant drama free - not dreams free! Even after thirty years you need dreams! Your forum posts in this thread don't sound like there is drama - only the profile gave me that impression. I imagine once you put more time and thought into your profile text that the drama impression will disappear.

I know all about throwing together a profile - Phoebert did that when we got on here a few years ago. After asking for one specific piece of advice I received all sorts of insight into how we were being perceived. And I've spent the past year making major and minor changes to the text of our profile. In August I finally put some pictures in private galleries that I open as appropriate - one of these days I'll put Velma's excellent advice to use and get better pictures so I leave Gumby-world behind. But for now the single guys we search for don't seem to mind and I'm too busy trying to get settled in our new house to worry about it!

Let us know when you're ready for a re-evaluation!

Jupiter isn't bad, but I'm more interested in exploring Uranus.

Anyway, take new pictures and repost so we can evaluate. Use the pictures I opened for you as a guide.

Just as a side note we've been married 30 years. We really are dreams free I promise. I hate that we came across as such. Again thank each of you.

I understand what each of you are saying and thank you for taking your time to respond and make suggestions. This profile was thrown together and really we haven't had time to focus and make needed adjustments. Most of what is there was just put in the profile as responses to previous people we were contacted by. But I see that my profile shouldn't be directed towards past contacts and driven more by making future new contacts. To be honest the boob pic was only posted to see what the response inverse would be. Again we truly appreciate each and every one of your responses.

Just chiming in to second all the advice you've already been given. Pics are extremely important. And no pics of him are a flat out no first us. Ditto just the close up body part pics. Show us a little about you in the pics. Velma gives great advice.

Remember that this is directed at your profile and not you personally - I'm probably not as blunt as some of the others but I do find your profile to be a bit off-putting and negative. My first thought after reading the first line was "drama" - not sure why. And the rest of the profile didn't change my mind. You want everything to be as positive as possible to be more appealing.

It is probably not worth your while to have information about who shouldn't contact you - the ones you're trying to avoid don't tend to read profiles so will contact you anyway. Quick replies are great if you feel the need to reply to everyone; no reply is also a valid response (I ignore IMs from idiots but have several quick replies so I can always reply to email).

A lot of your information is in the wrong section. Analyze each bit you want to keep and decide if it is in the correct section. Rewrite the negatives to be more positive. Delete information that repeats your stats or will show in pictures. You have some sentence fragments. Add some information about your interests - things that others might have in common with you like hiking or boating, playing board games or tag football. Common interests invite people to contact you - they know there will be something to talk about during the non-play times.

Velma's picture system is great for your core pictures. I like to see clothed full body pictures in public galleries when I'm searching for playmates - beach or pool pictures will show more than enough for me. Nudes, body parts and risque pictures can be in private or personal galleries that you open when contacting others or upon request. My picture advice is pretty simple - watch for visual clutter in the background, avoid selfies and smile (even if you obscure your face smiling affects your body language).

Hope some of this helps - good luck & have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

Too bad. I like cops. ;-)

Oh and I'm not law enforcement. LOL.

Thank you for the examples. We'll work on improving.

I see the first pictures from the Juno Jupiter probe have come back. I hear the red spot is shrinking.

I'm kidding, but kind of not. That's the first thing I though of, and if that's the first thing I thought of , what is everybody else thinking of.

Look, I get that you can't show faces, that's cool But you need to find a happy medium between what you can risk and what will get you dates. I opened some pictures in my private gallery to show you the kinds of pictures you should have.

I'm intimating looking

Ok,... I have a feeling that you're a cop. Please, please, please, don't take any pictures with a gun or a fish. Watch your backgrounds. I don't want to fuck anybody who has a messy house. If you are that worried about risk, people could recognize your home in the background of pictures, go to a nicer hotel and take pictures there. Make sure you have a room that faces the light depending on the time of day.

I want to emphasize how important pictures are. My husband just bought me a new triathlon bike. We are doing a photoshoot today that will probably take about an hour and result in 1 or 2 usable photos. Use that mindset going in. Modeling is HARD. If you look at my pictures, it took 28 shots to get that picture of me coming out of the pool.

I understand you can't show your faces, but I really want to emphasize that if you don't have G-Rated face pics in your private section, I'm probably not going to be interested,

All of your core pictures should be full body. IF you have any private pictures that are full body, open them up to me, and I can make suggestions on how to make them better.

One final thing... if she is okay with smushing boobs and kissing another girl, change your profile for her to "bi curious." A lot of women on here aren't really bi. Hell, I'm not really bi, I just like playing with girls because it's hot and fun and doesn't have any consequences. My fear is that you are missing out on a lot of couples who don't even look at couples with straight women. So if the idea of kissing another girl makes your wife vomit in her mouth, keep your sliders at straight. But if she's ok kissing and doing a little boob play, change her sliders to "bi curious."

Look at my picture examples, make your picture changes and repost so I can review.

Ok I understand what you're saying. I'll change up the pics and main profile pics. Show us doing some activities we like. We just can't show or faces period. I know everyone says their jobs require anninimty but ours no shit really does. But thank you for your suggestions. I'll try and put more thought into it than I initially did.

So, tell us something about who you are and what you like to do. Give me a reason to reach out. Do you have interesting hobbies? Any tightrope walking or Clown College in your background? No? That's okay, because there is something special and unique about you and this is the place to reveal it.

The part about having been here before actually belongs in Fantasies/real experiences, without that extended break info, which no one needs to know unless they ask. What doesn't belong in Fantasies is the last four lines. I didn't need to know a man wrote it, because I can tell a man wrote it. It not only doesn't belong in this section, most of it has no place in your profile. It's the kind of off putting, keep away sort of thing that men sometimes believe is just being honest and upfront. It kind of is that, but it's also off-putting and full of keep away signs. As is "Hope to hear from some of you." So maybe don't. Also, this is another place where you don't use the word "I."

Instead, say you've had some experiences in the past, are a same room couple, etc.

In Additional comments, after you remove the stuff that doesn't belong there, it's a little sparse and ends on that one sentence that has a slight negative cast. How about something like, "When we're looking for single men, we're looking for those who can host."

Okay, remember when I said things might feel mean? This probably will, even if nothing else does. The problem with the whole profile is that it sounds like it was written by him with zero input from her and the end result is fairly unlikeable. I suspect that isn't true in real life, but it's the logical outcome of using your profile to head off possible issues on multiple fronts. Basically, by doing preemptive problem solving, you've ended up creating something that will turn off more people than not and there's no good reason to do that.

Will you have to create and use some thanksbutnothanks Quick Replies? Yep. You'd have to do that anyway.

So, how about taking whatever advice you get here and then, if she has no interest in the work of creating an effective profile, have her read it out loud and see what she would change for reasons of tone.

Basically, what I'm suggesting is that you change your profile to better reflect the lovely people that I'm sure you are, in such a way that your relationship is evident, and that it draws people in instead of pushes them away.

Good luck.

Hi. Let me be the first to explain that no matter how mean something might feel, any advice you receive is about your profile. We don't know you (but would probably like you if we did) and are intentionally picking apart anything that might get in the way of you getting what you want. The advice is generally really, really blunt. Try to hang with it, if you can, and keep in mind that the intent is benevolent.

So, first, your photo. Your one and only photo. It's a boob. Bodies are lovely, body parts not so much. In addition, not having full body photos of both of you automatically moves you into the no column for a lot of people. So unless you change that, you will not be fielding a lot of serious inquiries from exactly the kind of people you say you're looking for and will have to do most of the work yourselves. That is a little self defeating.

I don't know Velma's race schedule, but imagine she'll be along eventually to explain the system she recommends for what to have in your public gallery. I hope you listen to her and everyone else who gives photo advice. Mine is basically to be fully dressed or if not, to have some reason to be out of your clothes and whenever your faces are showing, smile.

Your tagline is meh but okay, provided you remove the punctuation.

And then we get to Looking For. My profile has far more than 10 sentences and you just lost me. Either figure out a charming, positive way to say that or give up on the idea that you can fend off the unsuitable with incantations like this without turning off everyone else. For the rest of it, it's a collection of words that lack any sort of interest and I can't quite figure out why. Anyway, this section is meant to be about the people you're looking for - it's about them, only tangentially about you, so say who you're looking for, what you want and what you want to do in a way that focuses on those currently imaginary folks. Leave things like your play style for the other three sections.

In Description, you've duplicated information that is already in your stats, but given yourselves a different weight, thereby clearly illustrating the dangers of duplication. Let your stats and photos give the story of your physical description and use words for things not so easily seen. What's left after that goes away doesn't quite do its job, which is to make you appealing to others. I don't hate that line about being intimidating (not intimating, which is something entirely different), but do think it's better to mostly speak about yourselves as a couple, as we, and then use he and she for the briefer glimpses of you as individuals.

(Continued)