A Philly Yooooo to MD - as in the state of Maryland. I was happy to look at your profile but your profile looks threadbare - what's up down there?
There’s so much white space in your narrative that it feels like I’m looking right through your page to the back of my monitor and I’m seeing nothing of your profile but a few single sentences. It’s visually unappealing enough that my mind’s yelling “turn it off.” A moment of clarification please none of this is personal. You have no pictures for me to see and nothing of what I’m saying is about you as a person. My commentary is solely about your profile and how you’ve made it so unappealing. I believe others readers may be saying that already when they hit your page.
Without changing a thing, your single lines all connected together would make an improvement. Yes, just squash everything you have together and that will look nicer than what I see now. I find it visually appealing when I’m greeted by 2-3 paragraphs per section and 1-3 sentences in each paragraph; roughly 350-500 words overall. More words or less are noticeable to my eye and each marks the difference between too much to think about versus nothing worth looking at. Your profile is a noticeable 210 words in its entirety.
Jumping out from your page after I blinked and before I started reading are a basket load of negative phrases “nonjudgmental,” "No hangups," "Not really interested," "Not afraid,” "never a problem,” When everything about your profile seemed invisible to my eyes, it’s not good when negatives appear and pop off the page. I’d get rid of every one.
Your Juxtapositions are also incorrect "..not pushy or aggressive” doesn’t work properly with "Massages are a great reason to get naked and get the foreplay started, let's melt some coconut oil!” and "open minded...No hangups" doesn’t work with "…not really interested in.” They would work if you said <<I’m not pushy or aggressive and I when we know each other better as friends I'm open to a massage as foreplay>> and << I’m open minded, I have no hangups and I'm open to discussing boundaries.>>
When I finished every word of your profile I clicked off your page feeling like I had just visited "hollow man." Missing was any mention of your life, your hobbies, education, best food choices, dietary pleasures, favorite movies, best dates, and favorite authors, like <<I’m Good Giving and Game, within reason (Dan Savage 2012)>> or <<I’m a awful bowler who eats fried chicken>> or <<I eat lunch by myself on days when the sun’s out. I’d like some company and companionship. The squirrels like my nuts.>>.
I sure you're not hollow man. Reading more about life would be wonderful. However, before changing a single detail in your profile, I pose to you two choices. Implement every suggestion given in this forum and add a friendly picture - or - take every word you have right now and reduce them into two paragraphs, in each section, and add a picture of the squirrels. One of these two suggestions will improve your chances of more sex with more people. It was nice to review you, I hope for more personal details about you someday in your profile and I hope I helped.
