Hi. I'm usually the mean one (or at least the blunt as a hammer one), but apparently not today.
Your profile is like a junk drawer, full of anything and everything that might be remotely useful, but it's so full that it's pointless trying to find anything in it.
Get rid of your quotation marks, every single one of them, because they're the equivalent of dotting your i's with tiny hearts and I'm pretty sure most of us stopped doing that in middle school.
Don't think of this as Amazon, where you can order up exactly the right thing, because it's disrespectful and dehumanizing. I mean, yeah, there are guys (and not all of them single) who just see boobs and pussy and don't give a shit that you think this is Amazon, but almost everyone else will look at your approach and nope all the way out. Because eww. That level of specificity in everything related to what you're looking for is generally the result of not seeing others as human. Which is fine if you're hiring an escort, because they get paid for being fantasy objects, but most of us don't want that shit in our lives.
So, on a practical level, you've fucked yourselves by taking this approach and will be unlikely to attract quality playmates.
The repeated emphasis on being a REAL blonde is just puzzling. It's not...worth mentioning? Certainly not more than once, and then just to underscore your screen name. Otherwise it's as if you're focusing on the least important thing in the room and trying to convince everyone that it's vital in some way.
As for the rest, prune it severely. It's important that people looking at your profile know your husband is a voyeur and will just be watching. It's important that your wife is interested in much younger men. Not so sure that much of the rest has any use at all, except as part of your own private conversations.
Sometimes when we have intense fantasies or fantasies that are integral in some way, it's tough to see other people as anything other than cardboard cutouts who are there to serve us. Having been on the other side of that, because that's a fair description of newbie unicorn hunters, I can say from experience that it's moderately repellant to be seen that way. And I am pretty sure you're rejecting that view of you fairly firmly, but you shouldn't. Instead, you should ratchet down until you can see others as having their own fantasies and think about how you can be in service to them as well as to yourselves.
Or hire someone.
Good luck. I really do want you to get what you want, but seeing and appearing to see others as human instead of fantasy objects is important.
