New couple for pointers,

Oh pleaser?

Never said angels were rare. There's billions of them.

Every time Velma says "stick it in my ass" an angel gets its wings.

Oh please. I’m such a whore that I was really disappointed when I went to London and found out that Big Ben was a clock.

Remember - everything said here is to improve your profile so that the best you is presented to the world and you get to meet people to have fun with.

As mentioned by others - you haven't really paid attention to the section headings. I suggest copying everything into a word processor so you can re-write at your leisure without dealing with SLS approval every time you save. Re-evaluate each sentence and put it in the section it belongs in. I think you'll find way too much in Description and very little anywhere else. Toss out information included elsewhere (age, height & weight - the stats section is easier to update and it is where people look for that info). Change the word female (an adjective) to women or ladies (both nouns). Tell us what you love to do - we want to be able to talk about something while easing our way towards sexy fun. Your physical description should be handled by your stats and pictures. The information about slowly exploring and sensual along with your interest level settings will indicate your lack of experience but saying you're new isn't really true - you've been members here for over a year.

Currently you have many sentence fragments and have inappropriately capitalized many words - it makes your profile hard to read. After you are happy with your profile text run spell check and grammar check on it before copying it back to SLS - most good word processors will catch any remaining fragments and capitalization problems.

Your tag line also needs work - it doesn't need to be a complete sentence but you have three fragments strung together awkwardly.

Velma's system for core pictures will get you the basics that work well for your public gallery. Personally I rather have a bit of mystery to explore when we meet someone and play - beach or pool pictures will show you off just fine. If you obscure your faces in your public gallery make sure you have face pics in a private gallery that you open when emailing others or can open when requested. And put any nudes or play pictures in a separate gallery that you open upon request or as you deem appropriate. I have simple rules for pictures: watch for clutter or chaos in the background, avoid selfies and smile.

Good luck & have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

Hi. I'm going to be really, really blunt, so I'm also going to iterate that this is about your profile. That is what I'm critiquing, not you, no matter how it might feel.

So, let's just jump right into the deep end.

You have had a profile on here for over 15 months. You may no longer call yourself new. That you do so indicates to anyone not already turned off by the complete absence of at least one full body photo of both of you, combined with only a teensy tiny interest in soft swap that you are just not interested in sex with others and you're potentially a drama bomb waiting to go off. The former is fine at pretty much any club but is the kiss of death on line, while the latter is the kiss of death everywhere.

I don't look at manicures - I work with my hands part of the time and fuck women as often as possible, so my nails are super short and would never pass muster with Velma - but that doesn't mean a naked female torso is at all enticing. I want to know how the two of you dress, so clothed photos please.

Your age range is...okay, I don't want to be insulting, but at your ages, topping out at 60 is just silly, because that's only five years older than her, while you're willing to go 19 years in the other direction.

Your tagline is comprehensively terrible. Random capitalization is not your friend and neither is that wordy mishmash. Short and serviceable is fine, clever is better. Steal if you find something you like.

Most of Looking For is pointless and some of it is off-putting. I mean, it's great that you're mostly interested in fmf, but that level of detail belongs in Fantasies. In this section, it's about the people you're looking for. There's very little of that here, which makes a pretty poor impression, particularly on those single women (not females, please) who are constantly harassed by couples who are looking for a living breathing sex doll for their own fantasy fulfillment, without any understanding that the third they're looking for is as real as they are. Also, you'll likely never find a single woman who is interested in light g/g with someone with little to no experience.

Description doesn't tell me much about you that is intriguing. You sound like you're fighting aging and we wouldn't have much to talk about, so even if you hadn't lost me before, you lost me there.

Fantasies needs to use whatever misplaced stuff from Looking For, because what you've got doesn't belong there.

Additional comments just makes you feel like work. Also, that you don't actually understand that this is a partner dance and the other people in the dance are just as important as you. Yes, this is definitely your journey, but there is a way of doing that which doesn't depersonalize others and you have definitely not found that way. Maybe think about your profile as a way to appeal to other, real, living, breathing people instead of a meditation on what you want and how you want it.

Other than that, lines between paragraphs would be a vast improvement and so would a pass through a functioning grammar and spell check program.

Good luck.

Every time Velma says "stick it in my ass" an angel gets its wings.

So reading your text, it sounds like what you really want is a threesome with another woman. However, you aren't interested in doing full swap. So... where does that leave the girl?

Think about this from the woman's point of view. Every time I get with another couple alone, I am risking my life. I'm going to be in a room, naked with two people I don't know and one of whom can probably overpower and kill me. So I'm going to risk my life for.... boob play with a girl who wants to explore? Maybe a few reluctant, exploratory licks? I don't even get fucked? Seriously? If you want me to come to your hotel room, you better pull my hair, stick it in my ass and at least try to fuck me better than my husband. I'm not going down on your wife for an hour for a few reluctant licks on her end. And I better get a bottle of Angel's Envy Rye for my trouble.

So seriously consider what your limits are.

Get rid of the Emojis. The" :) " and " :( ". You say you are mature. That is not mature. That is 4th grade talk and very beta. I'm normally wet all the time, but as soon as I see a man use an emoji or an "LOL" I dry up faster than a pussy with a spoonful of cinnamon.

Take the new pictures, make the changes in the profile text, and repost so we can re-review.

I started writing a long profile review, but then I had to grocery shopping and lost the whole thing. So, sorry, guys. You get the Reader's Digest version now.

I opened a private gallery for you to show the kinds of pictures you should have. I created something called the "DEBauCH" method. This means you need a DATE picture, an EVENT picture, a BEACH picture, a picture of the CHICK and a picture of HIM.

Here's the deal. The way things are right now, I would not be interested in you two as a couple. First of all, if there are no pics of the guy... probably for a really good reason. Get a pic of the guy up there pronto.

You want a DATE picture to show what you would look like if you showed up for a DATE with another couple. You want an EVENT picture to show that you have hobbies outside of swinging - go to a Phillies game to see that fucking traitor Bryce Harper and take a few pictures. Or go rock climbing. Or sign up for a 5K. Then get a few picture of you at the BEACH. It's a way to show your full bodies in a classy way. No beach? The pool will do. You can go to a hotel pool, pay the $40 for day rate and have someone take full-body pictures. Finally, take a picture of the CHICK and a picture of HIM.

I will tell you this, if you are looking for Girl Girl, you are not going to get it with nudity. The most important thing I want to see with a lady

Does she have nice fingernails?

Seriously. If her fingernails are well manicured, I know the rest of her is probably well taken care of. So keep that in mind. I know I am an anomaly since I do most of the hunting, but for the most part, guys look, but women VETO.

I'll review your profile text next.

A couple things from our point of view.

First, pics. You have 1 public pic. Of her nude. She has a great body, granted. But where is your guy? Clothed or beach pic is fine. But we wouldn't even consider making first contact without having an idea of both of you and your body types.

Second, your profile has 3 sections - looking for, description and fantasies. You are currently mixing them into a jumble with things that belong in a certain section in the wrong place. We suggest a rewrite with the focus being on answering the question in each section - 3-5 sentences should be plenty. In those answers let us see your personalities a little too.

On responding to others and not getting the response you want we can't say for your that you're not inadvertently turning people off but as long as you're being honest and not negative or cruel who cares? Do you really want to fuck someone who can't take you being you?

We're sure others will be along with other advice. Take it all with an open mind and adjust what is said to reflect you and your desires.

Good luck!

As stated we are new, learning a bit here and there. We have gone to S&S a few times, its exciting , new, we have fun, don't interact much.
We would like to find another new couple to explore with at our level, we are comfortable with watch and be watched, light g/g.
Looking for hwp/similar folk, sensuality, teasing, erotic fun.

Unsure if our profile is bad or we don't know how to respond/write to others? We are quite honest, who we say we are, true in our desires, zero BS.
We won't post face pics but have clothed face pics we will open to those we correspond with.

Hoping for a better result, thank you in advance.