Hey happy couple with the big beautiful smiles, welcome and thanks for the opportunity to read and review you.
At first glance your profile’s top heavy and it has everything's crammed under "Looking For" and “Description” and nothing disturbed into Fantasies and Additional Comments. It’s so noticeable that it’s first in line for your improvement.
Editing yourself into the different sections, using separate paragraphs that are 1-2 sentences long, and utilizing a hard return after each paragraphs adds pleasing white space to your page. White space (unwritten spaces, as it sounds) gives your text breathing room and makes visitors want to keep reading.
As for specific edits, I’d erase or move everything after "Most weekends we are free, our kids are grown and moved out of state.”
I’m not a fan of dialog format descriptions, like "Her (described by him)” and "Him (described by her).” It sound more intelligent without them. In your instance, eliminating them still reads nicely.
Your magnificent smiles burst off the page at me and they should do your physical explaining. Following that, I’d eliminate "She has fiery red hair” all the way to "waxed pussy” and the same for your man, eliminate everything after "His bald head” all the way to “Be an adult” at the end.
Tell me about your "thick talented tongue,” her "porn-like orgasms," "waterproof sheets,” and "Together we put on a good show (exhibitionism),” under Fantasies and remove the 5 words there now.
Underlying your words I get the feeling that you’re waiting for your first (LS) experience(s) instead of building on the experiences you’ve already had. If that’s true, be truthful about the experience(s) you want. You could say something like <we are experienced in waiting for the right couple, maybe that’s you?>> If you do have experiences, let’s read about them. If not, everyone appreciates how slow starters are the hard stoppers - Keep up the smiles and your cuteness and thanks for your read.
