Looking for feedback

"My standards are way higher here than when I was single."

My first inclination was to disagree with that based on relative numbers before and after I discovered the lifestyle, but you're right. I have varied tastes, so on the surface it might look like I have no standards, but I do and they're pretty firm even for the most casual of encounters. I mean, I'll take myself to Miami, thanks, but brains and a sense of humor aren't negotiable, along with that indefinable "likes women" thing that I know when I see it, in men and other women.

Joe.. besides the advice already given, "we" looked at your profile.. Its boring, your one selfie is terrible, and sorry we would move on quickly.

We meet singles all the time.. but only ones who have a well written profile, something exciting that we want more of, nice photos , classy photos and a smile says wonders! One SLS forum..new single guy is flying in a couple weeks to meet us for the weekend.

Sorry you have none of those!

But good luck.

I'm going to start putting this in a file so I can just cut and paste for cases like this.

A lot of guys come on here after striking out trying to find sex through online dating, thinking that it will be constant fuckfest party and standards will be lower.  The fact of the matter is that if you don't have any luck online dating, you won't have any luck here.

I don't open my profile to single men anymore because of what I call the Dicknado.  

Imagine that you stop at Target for a few things. You leave the store and it's raining outside, but you have to get to your car, so you run through the rain.  

Now imagine that every raindrop is a dick.

That's what it's like being a girl here.  It's a constant stream of dicks.  You really need to be special to stand out.

Does your profile stand out?  I am not going to lower my standards for you.  Think about it.  Are you a low value man (LVM) or a high value man (HVM).

A man needs three pictures.  A pictures have to be taken my somebody else and need to be full body.  You need a picture of yourself dressed nicely like you are about to go on a date.  You need a picture of you doing something athletic and interesting like running a 5K or rock climbing and you need a picture of you shirtless at the beach.  To me, a HVM knows how to dress.  He's physically fit.  He travels for work and pleasure.  He has pictures of himself shirtless at the beach.  He's the kind of guy who can afford to take me to Miami for the weekend.

If all you have are selfies I'm going to assume that you have no friends or are too timid to ask somebody to take your pictures.  If you say "I can't afford to fly to Miami to take a few pictures at the beach right now" then why would I fuck you?  

If you thought you were going to roll in here and get invited to a few parties because the women here are whores, you are in for a big surprise.  My standards are way higher here than when I was single.

Make the picture changes, think about whether you are a HVM or an LVM and good luck.

It's very nice. But nice and sexy are too different things and you should be aiming more for sexy.

Anyway, if you're determined to explore swinging, make Looking For about who you're looking for and then a bit of what. If you find yourself using more than one or two personal pronouns, you're probably going about it wrong.

Description is a place where you can shine by being unique. Nobody else lives life quite the way you do. But pretty much 9 out of 10 men could lift what you've written here (except the height and baldness thing) and use it honestly. So, like the bathroom selfie, get rid of it. Instead, write about who you are. What sort of person are you? What do you like to do? Interests and hobbies?

In Fantasies, how did you get away with cuckhold? Because it's cuckold. Anyway, it's a laudable goal, but don't use LT or ST or any other abbreviations. This is like a resume and requires fairly formal writing. Also, for reasons of grammar, it's women rather than females. And, um, this is a swinging site and my eye starts to twitch if someone writes that they want to take care of women. The married ones have that covered and the single ones will usually let you know if that's an interest, so maybe rethink that one.

PAW is totally right about the we can discuss it thing being a punt. This is another place where you can differentiate yourself, not by going full on Penthouse Letters, but by being real with your g-rated fantasies and a brief gloss of what your experiences might be.

Put something else in Additional comments, preferably something that isn't an internet hoax (go look up that chapt. 118 thing). Your desire to attend clubs might work here. Just end on a high note.

Good luck. Please do make changes and then come back.

Hi. I'm going to second everything PAW has already said, including the disclaimer about the intent of those responding to your request for feedback. And I'm going to pretend that I haven't read her critique, because sometimes the weight of multiple people saying similar things is what's needed to make an impression.

So, first, the use of a half naked bathroom selfie, while it might seem like the answer to a prayer, is not only an unappealing cliche, it's ineffective if one's aim is to attract women. Unless you have Duane Johnson's body before he lost his neck somewhere. Otherwise, please put some clothes on.

Moving on to your age range, we like what we like, but swinging is a really interesting subculture in the way it turns one particular norm on its head. Because single men of all ages are the largest group, which provides a lot of choices, it's not unusual for women who play with singles to develop a preference for playmates who are 10-30 years their junior. At the age of 50, setting your age preference at half your age to five years older will not only have women everywhere rolling their eyes, it will materially affect your ability to find playmates because you're too old for many women in their 40s to 50s. I mean, you aren't really too old, but you're effectively competing with men half your age and there are practical reasons for women to have a preference for younger playmates.

Taglines should be an invitation to take a peek at the profile. So, short and clever is best, but short and sincere is fine too. Just not explanatory, please, the way your current tagline reads.

The rest of your profile suffers some in that you appear to be looking for people who can serve your needs. Your need for exploration, for friendship during your travels, as dates to clubs, for someone to bring you out of your shell. Like, sure, of course those things would be lovely, but you won't go far in this unless you turn it around and focus on what you can give. There is a common 'single men are a dime a dozen' feeling underpinning the way many couples view your group. I don't agree, because I think everyone is unique and valuable, but the demographic realities - there are a lot of single men on line, very few single women, and perhaps only half of all couples looking for single men - means there are a lot of your group to choose from and success means having something to offer.

Really, unless there is something specific that draws you to the lifestyle, you're better off with Tinder, where the odds aren't so far against you.

I hope you've read other reviews and understand what happens here. We offer our opinion of problem areas with your profile (sometimes we even tell you why it's a problem) and what you might want to do to have a better outcome. Often we are blunt but it's all about your profile, not you personally. You probably should read other reviews if you haven't already - a LOT of advice for single gentlemen is repeated over & over & OVER (which might explain why we're blunt).

I think you can do better than "soft, inviting and not appalling" - although I'm not sure "soft" should be something you aspire to. But right now you are closer to appalling than not. First thing is to delete the meaningless warning in Add'l Comments - it makes you look gullible. Second thing is to balance your preferred age range with you near the middle - currently it's skewed a bit young. Definitely raise that upper limit because most women are probably rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

If Velma doesn't pop by with photo advice then read other reviews to find what she has told other single gentlemen. Then delete the bathroom selfie and try again with her recommended three photos for guys. Smile and watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background. If you obscure or crop out your face then be sure to have a private gallery with face pictures to send when contacting others or replying to inquiries.

Don't include information that is in your stats or shows in your photos. Drama llamas never think they bring drama so mentioning it is sometimes considered a red flag. Pick a writing style and stay consistent - you have lists of sentences and a list of attributes (complete sentences in paragraphs is usually most appealing). The phrase "...many more fantasies but we can discuss further in messages" is a cop out. You need to rearrange your text to match the section headers - you have plenty of fantasy information scattered all over. Description should include "vanilla" information as well as personality information - most of the sexy info should be in Fantasies/Experience. Looking For should obviously be about others.

Let us know when your updated profile has been approved and we'll help refine it more.

Good luck and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

I am new to this website and being a SM I want to make sure my profile is soft, inviting and not appalling. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.