No Show

Yeah, I think the caffeine hadn't yet taken effect yet when I wrote that because I was thinking of a very limited set of circumstances but wrote that as a general statement. It also brought to mind the rare time we did engage with an SM and it turned out very negative. I obviously don't condone uncalled for upfront negative thoughts when engaging anyone.

It makes sense in the context of a party, and especially a hotel room party where you are paying for the room upfront and then get a bunch of last minute cancellations or no shows. I have seen my friend that does these types of parties have to eat the cost of a 2 br suite because of this, and it wasn't just SMs that did it.

"You might want to set future expectations to let people know the non-negotiable consequences of doing what that SM did."

Yeah, I'm glad you clarified, because I was having a whu.. ? moment myself. Anyone can have a last minute issue, but if there is no call, unless it was a true emergency, there would be no second chances. And if I have to be explicit about basic social behavior, you are not the right person.

I used to throw hotel parties with a friend. We didn't warn anyone, just never invited no shows again, even if they called. I thought that was a little harsh, but she was adamant and not wrong. We worked hard on the mix of people and there wasn't room for unreliability.

Ah, I feel like the world is back on it’s axis. Yes Mayhem, I agree. For parties, we would let people know in advance that NSOP would result in a ban from future events.

In hindsight, we definitely do not do this with couples as it is a given that you show or you text/call if something comes up. Many SMs tend to be their own worst enemy and might be the only case we'd consider a no show discussion up front. That is, if we engaged SMs online, which we don't.

The place where we see this up-front discussion (of sorts) is for parties. Most have a no-show policy. If you say you're coming and no-show, or continually cancel last minute, you are blacklisted. This applies to singles or couples, however a friend of ours that does hotel room parties has told us SMs are notorious for this, so he does have that up-front discussion in that case, and probably the only place it really applies.

Sounds like blocking and moving on was the right call since it was only the second meeting. If on the other hand it is someone you have had multiple successful fun times with it might just warrant a bit of forgiveness. That depends on the reason not excuse but reason they were a no show. Of course there can be an emergency situation that comes up and it can happen to anyone so blocking should not be immediate unless like it seems in this situation there was no emergency.

No show, no call = Block!

Early in our swinger days, we gave a few people second chances, only to have them no show a second (and third) time. No showing is disrespectful. It shows a complete lack of recognition of social norms. While a No Show Or Phone (NSOP) event earns them a block, I would wait a day or two before blocking to give them an opportunity to call, just in case there really was an emergency.

By the way, I disagree with Mayhem (which is the first time I’ve every disagreed with anything he’s said). I don’t think that you need to set expectations. Some things don’t need to be said. NOSPing is bad; everybody knows that.

Also, last minute cancellations, while annoying, are quite understandable. I’d be forgiving if someone called and apologized 1/2 an hour after we are supposed to meet. Exactly how forgiving I’d be would depend on how much I did to prepare for the get-together

This may be kind of a live and learn moment for both sides. We would never do this unless it was a dire emergency. Even then, one of us would fire off a quick text if we could.

You might want to set future expectations to let people know the non-negotiable consequences of doing what that SM did. Barring an emergency, it shows a complete disregard for you and your time for people to blow you off like that. If they know there won't be a second chance they'll be less likely to do it. If they do it anyway, it shows what they really think of you and not worth your time.

We generally meet people at our house or a restaurant very close by so not usually going out of our way, so in some cases we can be a little forgiving, but that is a personal call.

We wouldn't give a second chance in that situation unless he had some valid reason for not calling to say he couldn't make it.

Supply and demand... there's plenty of single guys left.

How do you respond to "no shows"
We recently met (and played with) a single male. We set a second date, and he failed to show or call. Now he wants us to get over it like nothing happened. Hubby blocked him.