Deep Thoughts

BT yet we are both happily married to women who love sex and well err you seem to be lacking

...he and HFT are on a roll today. I think they've lined their rusty wheels up in tandem. I'm guessing their combo IQ is right around 60, but they're burying the needle on The Frank Burns Paranoia Scale.

BT

It was just another of his mouse running on a rusty wheel posts. If you listen intently, you can hear it... EeeeeOoooooooh...eeeeeOooooh.....

BT

Bwahahahahaha....

Pardon me, I just noticed that nutcal was the last one to post in a thread titled "Deep Thoughts" and since we have him blocked, don't know what he posted but the idea of him having anything resembling a deep thought just makes me laugh uncontrollably.

~S~

Sex between men and women is dead. Men fuck like they see in porn with extreme violence today. Women hate violent sex and now would rather be touched by other women then men.

Really cant blame women at all. Idiot men who are slaves to porn.

here is some deep thought. If a pig looses his voice is he now disgruntled?

FredTammy, thank you for your kind words and for sharing. I am excited to begin creating memories!

Tbrmskss, I think you expressed yourself wonderfully when you said, "It would be like asking a gay person to be straight.".

MsMolly, thank you for sharing. How wonderful to have had that year of yes.

BT, thank you.

LadyandTramp, thank you sharing. I was telling Mr.Stell that I want this to be our secret, that it is special and only for us. Well, and obviously those we play with, but you know what I mean.

Scamp, thank you for sharing. I appreciate your words, " I believe she made me whole, and that is what is possible in the LS when two people are on the same page." I am glad you have Rabbit in your life!

Now that I have read all your thoughts on the label "Lifestyle" I agree that it is limiting and does not embrace the true exspansivness of what is happening.

Thank you sorillo1000. I will now have the vision of 70's leisure suit and dark full bush porn in my mind every time I hear the word Lifestyle!

Lucky is finding yourself in Lady’s company. And in her, ummm, good graces. ;-)

Rabbit and I came into this as singles who were both already in the LS so our perspective may be a little different but I will just say this. I had at least two women (both whom I met in the LS) tell me I was broken because I couldn’t see myself ever being in a totally monogamous relationship. I carried the weight of that assessment until I met Rabbit who not only embraced my sexuality and desires, she encouraged them and reassured me I was not broken. I believe she made me whole, and that is what is possible in the LS when two people are on the same page.

Of course, that comes with a huge YMMV caveat. We wish you well in your adventures.

~Scamp~

...at your all male school?

BT

Sex Olympics has been in porn for forty years. Sport fucking was common term used in college in the dorms

....AND if your are really lucky.....

you may just land on BT's stick! Or find yourself down a "Rabbit" hole. Or...or...get in trouble with that Scamp fellow...BIG trouble! ;^*

~lady~

Welcome Stella! For Tramp and I, there is just something about this "secret" thing that really brings us much closer and makes it even hotter between the sheets for us. Just talking about our experiences is enough to rev our motors. We don't really label what "it" is, we just know it's our naughty little secret and we share absolutely everything about it. It is really freeing in our relationship to be able to just be casual about it. Everyone is different, I am just telling you how it works for us. We don't put pressure on ourselves or each other to be the fucking rockstars, we just enjoy where we are and the friends we have made along the way. Hope you find your niche and enjoy!

~lady~

Not everyone's able to stick the landing like Rabbit.

Welcome to the forums, STELL.

BT

If a guy from Las Vegas comes along, with his thoughts on the term swingers or lifestyle, or has any thoughts on anything for that matter, you might wanna just....

...never mind, you'll figure it out.

BTW, I can't remember who first enlightened me to the term "Sport Fucking". I think it may have been Rabbit or Scamp.

I am enjoying all your responses! I have family stuff and responsibilities to take care of at the moment , but I will get back to some specific points after bedtime!

Goodenuff, I believe you understand I was teasing about the paragraph breaks. I did notice I should have paid better attention to that after I had already hit submit. Thanks for keeping me in line!

"Sport Fucking" has got me giggling out loud over here! Now I have a vision of an Olympic style stadium complete with different events , coaches, players stretching out and judges with score boards. Oh heck, let's throw in a set of announcers broadcasting a play by play! I'm going to be giggling about this all day. :)

I figured out I was non-monogamous by nature shortly after I realized I was bi. Even at 16, I knew the former was going to cause way more problems in my life than the latter. And even with my husband, who had been in a long term poly triad for years before we met, my desire for multiple partners was an endless challenge that eventually drove him a little nuts.

Anyway, I call this particular way of performing non-monogamy "swinging," even though that's not quite accurate. It sometimes is sport fucking when even the double handful of regular playmates feels a little predictable and I go to a club alone, there's definitely a poly element, where I have fairly deep feelings about two of my playmates and also date a couple I'm very fond of. Plus. I'm kinky with three of my playmates.

So, "lifestyle," with its implications of something glossy and gold-chain-y and couples oriented, just feels limiting and inaccurate. I guess I do know why I don't like it.

I concur with the previous posters opinions of the term. Additionally, it just doesn't describe who I am.

I use the term non-monogamous, which better describes who I am.

I have been that way since I became sexual.

Sometimes it has worked well for me, sometimes not.

My current marriage came about from a poly relationship.

Being non-monogamous does not mean I am not faithful within our boundaries. And sometimes that includes long periods of monogamy, depending on the circumstances.

I can't imagine being any other way.

It would be like asking a gay person to be straight.

I might be able to conceptualize it, but don't think I could do it.

I kinda like the term "sport fucking".

But that's just me.

And we don't keep score.

Although I use the term "lifestyle", I'm not crazy about it, but I'll continue until something better comes along. To me, "lifestyle" implies that it's the most important part of my social life, that it's a total commitment. The reality for me is that it's an occasional thing, an extra spice in my life.

And when the term "swinging" comes up, I can't help shaking the vision of bad polyester bell bottomed leisure suits, porn 'staches, unshorn bushes that look like the deepest darkest triple-layer Amazon Forest, and horrid porn-funk music on boom-boxes.

But that's just me.

"To those who don't like the label "Lifestyle ". What is it about that label that bothers you and what other term or label would you use to replace it? "

I don't like it because it's a euphemism, almost like some sort of secret code word that isn't a secret at all. Also, there there many different "lifestyles". I greatly prefer the term swinging.

However, I don't make the rules, and thus grumpily accept the word.

"Paragraph breaks, who uses those to express separation of thoughts?"

People who want their written thoughts to be comprehensible on a computer/phone screen to others.

But I get that you want only intelligent responses. Which leaves the likes of me out.

Wise choice.

May the Farce be with you.

While my wife and I are both fairly new to getting back into swinging, we both remember the first ever outing and it was a bit terrifying for us even though we had discussed in depth our boundaries and all. At the time I was managing a local night club and was invited by the owner to visit his swingers club with my wife for a get together. we had been talking about all the what ifs and why not's for months already anyway so we decided to go. Now mind you this was some 15 years ago, both of us were in better shape and well younger. We went with no expectations other than having a few drinks and enjoying the evening as the owners guests. We ended up meeting a nice couple there who were very similar to ourselves, we talked we danced, we flirted, then we left. Later that week they called us to see if we would be interested in attending a BBQ they were having, so we did. The BBQ was much like any other event we had been to with a few of their friends and some family, we were introduced to all and just enjoyed a nice afternoon. When we were ready to leave they had asked if we wanted to meet up the following weekend for some drinks and go hang out after I closed the club, we agreed as we had fun with them. We ended up getting a room and experienced our first full swap that night. We both still remember it like it was yesterday as it left such an impression on us. We remained friends with them for years until they moved away.

We have had other instances with other couples but nothing as memorable as our first encounter. We had to take a break from our endeavors for a while with my wife needing back surgery and decided to focus on our careers and finish our education. We both have put on a few (well more than a few) pounds since that time and are jumping back into the scene. My wife is still a little self conscious about her weight even though I tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She is beautiful because she is confident.

Stell, There is beauty in your confidence, do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise. We have adopted the philosophy of we are who we are, other people either like us or they don't. We NEVER try to be anything we are not to please anyone else. Just be yourself and allow others to get to know the wonderful person you appear to be.

To those who don't like the label "Lifestyle ". What is it about that label that bothers you and what other term or label would you use to replace it?