Need tips with getting/keeping an erection

I mentioned this elsewhere, but there is a sequence that works better, for me at least. If you get with an eager/aggressive girl she may want to get your cock in her mouth ASAP to try to seal the deal. The problem is that a lot of guys will want to reciprocate and then lose it when licking the girl. Especially if using condoms.

It works much better to fuck her while you're hard from the BJ. You can always go back and lick her afterwards, but if you lose it between the BJ and fucking her, most girls would rather forego getting licked if there is any risk from licking her that you won't be able to perform. I can't say what %, but most of the women I know find oral and fingers nowhere near as satisfying as being well fucked, even if they do cum and appreciate the effort.

I will usually try to direct the action by simply licking her first. Many times I'll get hard from that and will just put a wrapper on it and go to town.

If you do use condoms, have one within arms reach. When I know that we're close, if I'm getting a BJ I'll actually take the condom out of the wrapper and make sure I know which way to unroll it so that I'm not fumbling trying to put it on.

Once I'm in and hard, I can count the # of times I went soft after that in one hand, and not even need all my fingers. This is over the course of my lifetime, and I'm coming up on 65.

Not doubting any of the mental stuff. It is likely the cause. Here are a few tips from an overly horny 55 year old that has seen issues on multiple occasions.

Watch your drinking that night. Limp brain = limp dick. Although a half decent buzz can help the anxiety.

Try to play earlier if possible. Usually doesn't happen though. Seems like most women gotta get their dancin, drinkin, and yackin out of the way before sex is on their minds.

Viagra didn't do anything for me. I honestly have MUCH better luck with the knock offs. "Rhino's" etc. You can find them all over the internet.

Here's a tough one to explain. Don't worry to much about how good you are in bed. Try not to concentrate tooo much on what will please the woman. If you are constantly trying to read her and forgetting about your own pleasure, you take the chance on losing your erection. Sure you wanna try to be great in bed and give her the time of her life, but if you are studying her like an algebra problem... Just doesn't help.

This is not uncommon for those new to the LS

I'd venture thisbis primarily a psychological/anxiety driven phenomenon, but I'm going to suggest something I haven't heard anyone mention yet:

Try playing during the morning or early afternoon.

Most LS activities take place at night. This is when the body is at its lowest testosterone levels and is literally trying to shut down. Add the newness and pressure to perform on top of that, and it shouldn't be a surprise dudes have issues.

I would definitely listen to what @mayhem had to say. Imo it's mental not physical.

In case you are not aware, viagra and the others like it do not gave you an erection, you have to get it up on your own. Viagra maintains the erection by blocking the chemical that is released to tell the penis to drain the blood from your penis.
If you have anxiety, that will prevent an erection and the viagra wont work.
So, you have to identify whatever it is that is bothering you and find a way to deal with it.

What mayhem said. I've mentioned this myself a few times. I suspect that there's something in the unconscious human male lizard brain that freaks out about having a boner while another man has a boner in the same room. Whether that's cultural or instinct, who knows? I certainly don't know.

As to how to overcome it, first you'd probably have to decide that you WANT to overcome it (whether you want to or not, both options are valid, do what's comfortable for you, and fuck what the rest of us think). Then some discussion with your significant other and your playmates and if it works, practice, practice, practice. :)

Stop watching tv commercials that de- masculate men & make them all think they all have ED so they can sell you pills and stuff..... another words, get a pair!!!!

BTW - There is a sweet spot with the Viagra timing. For me, the optimal is to start just under an hour after taking it and then I'm usually good for somewhere between 2-4 hours. That doesn't mean I stay hard the whole time. It just means that I am able to get hard again with adequate stimulation within that timeframe.

I only take half of a 100 mg pill and if I read the room wrong and wind up going more that 3 hrs without playing after I've taken it, I can always take the other half. I'll also do the same if I'm 3+ hrs into a party and it's likely I'll be playing more.

There are girls that attend the parties that we normally go to that enjoy the idea of fucking every guy at the party. I find that hot mentally. Even more so if the Mrs decides she's in the mood to be one of them. Mental stimulation is every bit as important as physical, and that can definitely help you get and maintain as erection better when combined with physical stimulus. Brings another meaning to getting your head in the game, or in this case, both of them ;-)

If you're able to get and maintain and erection with your wife and/or during solo play, that would indicate that it's not a physical problem. The problem is not below the waist-it's between your ears.

Even if you "feel" like your ready and can handle it and the people you are swinging with are attractive, there may just be some sort of subconscious/unconscious hangup that you are having.

You may want to talk this out a bit further with your partner and see if talking more and exploring helps you with the issue. Good communication has a way of clearing up a lot of issues in the bedroom. Good luck!

Seems kind of extreme to have to be injecting something into your dick at under 40 years old. The fact that there isn't a problem playing with his other half proves it's not physical.

I have seen and on occasion felt this myself. I don't know what it is and it rarely happens anymore, but I swear there is some sort of innate male brain program that runs that just doesn't let him get hard around another male that is actively fucking. I purposely used "male" and not man because I suspect this is some sort of natural process.

Before I stuck a needle in me, I would definitely want to give separate room play a shot and see if that fixes it. As one gets more comfortablle playing with others, I think it becomes easier to overide this "program".

We actually encountered newbies once that told us they were working up to same room play for just this reason. Seemed odd at the time because 99% of newbies we've encountered will ONLY do same room play. It did make sense when we thought about it though and the guy was able to perform with the Mrs just fine. Everyone had fun, and that is the point of any encounter.

Better foreplay

I had the same issue. I definitely recommend Bi or trimix. Works every time and never have to worry

MICKEYMALLORY2022 - If you haven't already tried, perhaps consider trying separate (but close by) rooms. We wind up doing a fair bit of separate room play for just that reason.

We have had times when we played with a guy and he couldn't stay hard. Some guys just can't when another guy is involved or even close by. I guess if all else fails try getting bi mix or tri mix. Your cock will stay hard with one of them from everything I have heard here in the forums.

You are to young to have erection problems.Sometimes it’s all in your mind.Just relax and clear your mind and enjoy yourself

Watch alcohol .. stay hydrated, take plenty of health foods and concentrate on those with N.O. like beets or beet chews.. and also relax . Many guys have head issues with someone else going to bed with ones wife.. !

The more secure one is swapping, and open... and talking about all aspects including what you like an don't like.. both of you.. it will be better for all parties.

Wife and I have been in the LS for over a year now. We have been having lots of fun but I do have problems getting and keeping and erection some times. I was on 100mg of viagra which didn't help much. I just tried out 20mg of cialis at a party over the weekend and still had some issue. I don't ever have problems at home with the wife and the people we swig with are always attractive. Just hoping for any advice that may help. Thank you