Setting up Dates for Wife

When my husband goes out of town, he will set up dates for me

Harley,

That's the spirit! Love seeing highly motivated co-eds!

We agree MsMolly, since we are the stag/vixen sort we always try to clarify prior to playing, but there are assumptions for sure!

I wish I was the Oracle, but even a stint giving lifestyle newbies sex advice didn't give me superpowers, so it's probs never going to happen. ;)

Cuckold/Hotwife/Stag and Vixen are different but closely related, which is probably why the definitions are often elastic. I kind of wish the lines were much brighter, because I suspect it's part of why it's sometimes tough to find compatible single men for MFM. If you're a guy and assume a man who wants to see his wife fucked is automatically a cuck, it's a big swing and a miss. Similarly, if you're a single guy and don't get the dynamic of Stag/Vixen, you're not going to necessarily treat the woman well, which is a huge error.

It’s always so hot and exciting when he sets up play dates for me. I can’t wait for my next one.

I have in the past set up a date for the Mrs in the context of this topic. I invited 2 guys that she approved of to come to the house and the idea was that she wanted to play with both guys or even all of us at once. Of course the pre-play excitement was there, but the actual event was a bit of a let down. The 2 guys could not perform around each other, or me, so she wasn't able to get the 2 (or more) on 1 play we both hoped for.

I'm sure that I could find a couple guys that could perform together, but this is soooo much easier to do at the parties we attend that the online effort just isn't worth it for us. Plus, the Mrs didn't really enjoy it as much as I hoped because I had no play options. She said to me, "You know how excited you get about me playing with other guys? I of course said "Yes". Then she asked, "So why would you think that I don't enjoy it when you play?" Point made.

I had also tried a couple of times to set up dates in advance for the Mrs at parties we attended, but stopped doing that because "best laid plans" tend to get derailed at a party more often than not. The best plan for a party is to go with the flow.

Also in the past, I helped set up a gang bang for the Mrs and a lady friend of ours and the pre-play excitement was definitely there, but again, not sure this qualifies as a date in the way that "date" is being used here.

If we didn't have the local party options we have by us, I'd gladly put the online effort into setting up dates for the Mrs, but ironically, she'd be doing this as much or more for me as me doing it for her. If I couldn't perform for some reason or another, it may be different, but that's not the case for us. I DO get the appeal of dates though.

We all agree .. its all good !

Many like us find what they enjoy and go for the gusto.. we love it and live everyday like its our last!

Definitions! Labels! Am I right?

We'll have to consult the Swinger Oracle of Delphi (aka Molly?). Joking.

Stag/vixen can be without hubby present, with hubby present and not playing, or with hubby present and playing. Stag implies, but not exclusively, that the knowledgeable husband supports and enables his wife's play and the play, no matter the format, is an extension of their marriage/relationship and the emotional and erotic courting of each other. Stag/vixen implies a respectful, joyful expression of erotic relations between a couple and others.

Hotwife can be like stag/vixen as detailed above. Or it can be the wife plays on her own with varying degrees of hubby's knowledge or acceptance. Some ladies are hotwives due to a medical condition of the husband or where performance is less than what she desires. A hotwife can also be a lady who plays on her own, with the husband's full knowledge, but for some other reason he does not participate, such as a mismatch in sex drives. Not all of these last reasons are sexual in nature though. They could be reputational, extended travel, schedules, or even religious/moral reasons.

Cuckold play can be exactly the same as stag/vixen above but there is an element of sexual denial, denigration, or humiliation before, during, and/or after sex acts, by the wife/girlfriend towards the hubby/partner.

We tend to be squarely in the stag/vixen camp with respect and joy for everyone's pleasure and fulfillment. But hotwife play is very hot indeed.

Maybe I didn’t express myself clearly……

There is a pretty significant difference between a husband setting up dates for his wife and attending a lifestyle event as a couple.

In the former scenario, the husband makes the arrangements and either drops the wife off to have sex, or the wife goes out on her own. I have read accounts where sometimes the husband will watch. In these cases, tfw husband is not a participant. He has no expectation of engaging.

When a couple attends a party or event, usually they are there to play together. One may play more than the other, as many of your posts have illustrated.

Whatever works for anyone is great. We have engaged previously in both scenarios, and they are equally erotic in different ways. It really depends on our mood at the time.

I wasn’t criticizing one or the other. Just pointing out that this was a discussion about husbands setting up dates for the wife to have sex with someone else.

MandC - "As I understand it, the stag/vixen & Hotwife scenarios do not involve the husband playing with other women. S/V & HW are situations where the wife plays with her husband’s knowledge, permission, & support. "

The Mrs does play with my knowledge and support and really doesn't need my permission since we're at a LS party to play. Nothing I've seen about Stag/Vixen or Hotwife indicated that the husband only watches, though some S/V definitions come across as cuckholding without the humiliation part.

I do encourage her to play and have encouraged guys that I know she'd like to play with to play with her. A husband that encourages and enjoys seeing his Mrs having fun with others would seem to fit the definition of hotwife at least. Granted, the norm is probably more that the husband "just" watches and/or derives ALL of his pleasure from watching only.

In our case, the Mrs also plays with others as much to put on a show for me at times as she does just to get laid. While also not part of the definition, I'd think that behavior would apply to a hotwife. That's just my take on it though. The main label I'd put on what we do is "Fun" ;-)

RK,

We don’t disagree. And yes, all those play situations are fun.

I was more referring to the thread topic of setting up dates for the wife. Setting up a date for the wife to have sex is just a different play scenario than a couple attending a Lifestyle party or club where both are intending to play.

Hmm guess we missed that definition.. because we both play together, alone, and all join in when we all meet at the end of the fun night.. for us we dont really "label ourselves" except as ones who enjoy any type of fun, sexy, meets be it one on one , a 3sum, or making it happen for ones special occasion.

So be it stag/vixen/ milf/ we just go with the flow.. and NO we are NOT CUCKHOLD, Far from it!!!! But its what anyone enjoys in their own journey.

We just really enjoy our sexy fun loving FWB;s it puts a smile on our face!

As I understand it, the stag/vixen & Hotwife scenarios do not involve the husband playing with other women. S/V & HW are situations where the wife plays with her husband’s knowledge, permission, & support. The husband can be in the same room or not. But it’s not a LS party where the husband also seems to play.

MAYHEM: I fully agree with you. She glows after a good play session or an outing. That is hot as well to me.

fraunhubby68 - "It's hot hearing from others who find one's wife hot and interesting. "

I enjoy doing to a hotwife what I enjoy seeing done to the Mrs. Since I know how much I enjoy seeing the Mrs play with others, I also consider and hope that the hotwife's partner is also enjoying what I'm doing with his mate. In a known hotwife scenario, I automatically realize that I'm there for BOTH of them to enjoy the play time, unless he's not present.

When we go to a LS party, I KNOW that the Mrs will be playing with at least 1-2 guys. I'm the one that tracks and schedules us for LS parties, so this is sort of setting a date for the wife. We just don't always know who or how many that date will be with ;-)

FWIW - It dawns on me that a sort of a side-effect of the LS can be what it does for a woman's self-image. It has made the Mrs realize that she cared way more about any perceived body flaws than guys did. The LS has helped a number of women (my Mrs included) realize just how hot they actually are. Confidence is considered hot by most, and she is a LOT more confident now than when we first started.

We are dipping our toes in the hotwife, stag/vixen scenario. Negotiating and discussing meetings and flirting and such is very stimualting. It's hot hearing from others who find one's wife hot and interesting. Hey, I know we'll click with these people because we see that they have good taste.

It is also incredibly arousing being the single male with whom the couple is setting up a date. The suspense of meeting, wondering what she'll be wearing, how/when the play will start, when hubby will join if he wishes to do so, and the anticipation of how she'll feel are all wonderful thoughts to ponder while waiting for the date to arrive.

Oh YES, YES, YES. Once we choose our FWB we make a date to go out shopping maybe for a new dress, sexy underwear, heels, etc.

Then the day of...getting ready, a nice warm bath, shaving each other, hair, make up , all while talking what we hope to do, see and hear during play time with our FWB's..

Then after its just "us" reliving all the great moments !!!!

Our standing joke as we're getting ready to head out the door to a LS party is to say,"OK, it's time to go fuck people". A lot of our pillow talk revolves around things that either happened at parties, or that we want to happen at parties.

We do have couples over and in fact had one just yesterday afternoon and it was a lot of fun. The guy did really well by her accounts, but this is about as close as we get to "Setting up a date for the wife".

It would be kind of fun to have a couple guys over just for her, but she enjoys seeing me play as much as I enjoy seeing her play. That tends to limit things to couples or LS parties for us. She also, given a choice, prefers to have more than one guy at a time. That means guys need to be good about being able to perform around each other. Easier said than done, so it's just way easier to do that at the bi-friendly parties we attend.

Like everyone else, we are busy with family, home projects, travel, other hobbies, so when we do have time to play, we like to try to use that time as efficiently as possible. Parties tend to give us the most bang for the buck.

BTW - At parties, I have been known to loosely set things up with guys for her. Otherwise, sometimes guys will make their move, but there are times when the Mrs is really in the mood and picks up her own guys. It's extra hot for me for whatever reason when she picks up guys at parties.

Is it just me or is setting up dates to play one of the hottest, long-simmering forms of foreplay imaginable.

Knowing others are hot for you and your wife is just wonderful and erotic. We love this stuff.

Interested in your thoughts.