Lone wolf....
Private dates or letting her go alone w someone is a no no for us.....its just for security reasons... fwb are often newer friends met thru sites like sls or get togethers....might be well known, but you never really know who they are/ or capable of.... so no private dates..
Even for the guy... i don,t want to be alone w anothers wife.. too many wacko women out there that will accuse you of anything if they get mad.....
Just answered this on another thread?..
I,ve sat on the side to watch so she can concentrate and enjoy.. and for both our voyeuristic pleasures..... show & watch...
During some 3sums, i,ve step out of the room for a while to give some private time for her w him or them....(mmf)....once i left for half hour?, to return to find her laying on the bed covered in cum...and the guys just as exhausted.... i guess it was good private time...lol
I agree with BJ and the FWB participation needs to be part of the conversation too....Would you all be comfortable with her paying a visit to your FWB place? Or him picking her up for a date night? Just a couple of thoughts. She has the permission and now it's up to her when it happens and how
Open conversation between the 2 of you is the path to her understanding it's Ok. How the 2 of you want to enjoy things is what's important. Trust, talking and being honest with each other is what this sexual path is all about anyway!
J
Glad it worked out as well as it did! Once you get beyond the catheterization stuff, hopefully things will get back to normal for you. If you do have any ongoing ED issues from prostate trouble, that's nothing to be ashamed of. Frustrating, yes, but it isn't something you can't overcome. If that does happen, talk to your Urologist about using a medicine called Trimix. You give yourself an injection and, in a few minutes, you will be so hard that a cat can't scratch it! I got off topic here, but just wanted to provide some info you may be able to use looking forward past the present medical situation.
Thanks everyone. Everything went well for her yesterday, although no orgasm... I stayed downstairs at her request, but next time will be involved one way or another. It was difficult for me to not go check on them, but at least they both had fun! She told me she wants me there for "reinforcements" to get her over the edge next time. If possible I will try to be fully involved!
Not sure if this is the case with your wife, but one thing a lot of women have to overcome is self-inflicted slut shaming. Having our partners there and enthusiastically participating does an end run on that internal conflict, but that doesn't mean it's eliminated.
So, have the conversation about why she's not comfortable with the idea and be open to her just not wanting to have sex if you aren't there. (For me, I don't slut shame myself, but I'm also no longer into meeting new guys alone, even though my partner is all for it.)
Maybe I read something between the lines that isn't there.
But even if my suggestions aren't applicable to the OP they might help someone else.
I got from the OP that she just wasn't comfortable with him being in the room watching and doing nothing. Don't belive he said anything about her not wanting to play alone.
Do you have any interest in participating?
Even if you have no desire for intercourse (or even receiving a blowjob) you can enhance your wife's pleasure during a threesome. And doing so would eliminate her reservations about playing alone.
Several of my favorite things about MFM require two mouths and four hands - I love having both tits sucked at the same time while hands roam my body. Then eventually one of the guys will work his way down my body to play with my pussy while the other continues to play with my tits. And we all still have a good time if I only engage in intercourse with one of the two men (many of our guest are our age and erections are not always a sure thing).
Because we're caregivers, sometimes our guest & I get started before Phoebert can join us and other times Phoebert has to leave the room to prepare lunch for Momma. On those occasions I get a lot of alone time with our guest but we still all play together at least some of the time.
Another discussion or two with your wife might be required to determine what combination of activities you'll both enjoy and will put her at ease with you in a limited role. Just because she can wrap her head around the idea of playing alone with your gentleman guest doesn't mean that she emotionally accepts that idea. Talking her into playing without you or easing her inhibitions with wine might leave her more upset afterwards than if she hadn't played at all.
And hopefully this is all a temporary situation!
~Phoebert's Wife
Agree.. go out and leave them alone and have fun.. its her fun time and journey and she can share it with you later in the day or night. remember its just sex not love as you have in your marriage with the trials and tribulations it brings over time.
We each do this for each other and its a great thing !
Sorillo nailed it. Even though your intent is unselfish and well intended, if she is not comfortable with the situation, then that is that.
As the old saying goes, "it's not the gift but the thought that counts". She knows.....
Speaking as an SM only, I'm not comfortable with the idea of her being hesitant to play alone or with you watching. It's commendable that you don't have jealousy issues while you work through your medical trials, but trying to talk her into doing something she's not 100% comfortable with isn't the best option I think, even if the intent is to unselfishly provide for her pleasure. Having said that, it seems to me that you've approached it pretty well, by making the arrangements with a guy that you have played with as a threesome and who you both obviously trust, and by trying to talk through the issue beforehand rather than in the heat of the moment.
And sorry, but wine or other recreational chemicals as an end run around her consent is a worse than bad idea.
Don't you need to make a run to Lowes or HD for something. Go out and leave them alone. When he is gone come back and lick her pussy clean for her
(Also posted in Men Talk)
OK, looking for input from anyone who went from an MFM to a non-participating role.
Due to a medical issue I am out of commission for a while... several weeks, likely. Prostate finally got the best of me, and now have to self catheterize in order to pee, which really has nearly eliminated any sexual thoughts. Followup testing isn't for a few weeks...
Made arrangements with our FWB to come service my wife. I am going to stay out of the room, not wanting to distract her. He seems OK with either me watching or not but she's concerned that my presence without my participation would mess with her. I totally get that. I am fully supportive, no jealousy issues. How can I make her feel more comfortable in order for her to actually enjoy herself? Would like to hear from anyone in a similar or previously similar situation. Thanks.
PS this is the very first time for her having sex with anyone (On her own) but me in over thirty years, other than our FWB threesome....
