date for girlfriend

We will echo most of what has been written. There's a 20 year age difference between us - plus she's hot, plus she LOVES to be pleasured, plus I love to hear her moans echoing down the hall, watch her play or get details when she returns - so most of our play is dates for her. I think out profile goes into great detail about that so any one actually reading it knows where we are coming (cumming?) from - she's a unicorn interested in single males THAT FIT HER PREFERENCES.
Her profile draws attention plus we occasionally post a Hot Date specifically saying it's for her fun and pleasure and PLEASE read our profile. She is very selective so we let that be known up front. She wants date-type fun not "come pound me" and we state that up front. I vette any contacts and get to know them as best as I can online. Only if they fit everything above do we agree to meet for drinks. I make it known that if we've gotten that far she intends to end up in bed but there has to be mutual attraction and fun at the bar. By doing all this we have had very few issues (but have had some) and we (well mostly she) have enjoyed the site.

I agree with all the comments so far, and especially the "males meet first" thing. Just arranging schedules for one meeting can be challenging, much less two. IF you get past meeting one, now you need to again sync schedules to meet someone that is "very picky". If that wasn't daunting enough, the opening line in the profile of "Couple new to the lifestyle..." is even more likely that this will be a wild goose chase.

I'm not saying you want to rush into anything, but this could also be a big waste of your time in addition to any potential playmates time. Finding "quality" guys that want to jump through those hoops could be very tough.

Had a look at your profile. The - male meets you first, then if it goes ok the couple meets you for a drink - bit is, IMHO, really off putting...
You folks will certainly do the initial screening of potential playmates thru the SLS site... Check profiles, make initial contacts, view pics, exchange a few birds etc... then, if that feels right for everyone, it's time for you BOTH to meet the guy, and take some time to decide if there is comfort, compatibility and the sexual chemistry there to move forward... That's the way that we found works best for us... Just trying to help. Everyone has their own way I guess.

we have no problem, it is included in our profile and is our favorite activity.

CTB, it might be because your profile indicates something completely different.

I'm actually looking for the opposite of this, a single woman or attached to date my guy. Hadn't thought about adding that to our profile. I've (the female here) have messaged many women and for the most part, they either don't respond or if they do they are not down with that idea (they'll ask "oh, did he put you up to this?") or they think it's my guy messaging them and respond that they are not into games and get lost. Anyway, it's a challenge. Should be easier to find a guy for your woman though, I would think. Guys don't over analyze things as much as women lol.

Y'all are a amazingly helpful. Thanks so much!

Look in the search feature for SM in the age bracket, send them messages.
You can also hit up clubs in your area (I've found this much easier) I'd work on your profile as others suggested as while you might reach out to them, they may be a little hesitant to reach out to you.

Hi. I'm thirding the suggestion that you work on your profile. If you need help, there's a sub-forum called Better Profiles where you can start a thread and get all the advice you might ever need.

If your profile reflected your interest in finding NSA playmates for your wife, rather than exhibition and maaaybe soft swapping, you'd be fighting guys off with a stick. Some will be obvious noes, some will only be noes after you meet them and they say or do something stupid, and some will be lovely and just what you're looking for.

Rewrite your profile to explain that you do entertain single males that meet a certain criteria. Do a search for local SM who have clear pictures Certs and email any that she would interested in and invite them for a “no play” get together to gauge if there is mutual interest. You can always elevate it to a play sate if things go well but tellin the guy up don’t not to expect play helps weed out certain guys.

Even if you do all of that, expect some flakes, no shows and duds. But also expect to meet some cool guys so don’t let the process get you down. The ones that do click with her will make it all worthwhile.

~S~ (the make half who spent 10 years as a SM in the LS)

Like anything worth having, it takes work. And patience.

I'd start with your profile, which is pretty sparse. Guys that are worth your lady's consideration are quite likely to pass it by due to the lack of info and effort put into the profile. Plus, it reads like the two of you are interested only in watching/being watched, with little prospect of anything further. If that's your goal, then that's cool, just understand that it also eliminates a lot of otherwise worthy guys who are looking for ladies/couples who want to go further than that.

Good luck to you.

Sorry, so the question really is, where do we find these guys!!!

hey all,

F of the two is interested in dating men in the life style. Really difficult finding men that follow the rules and understand the no strings attached. AFF is useless. Anyone have any pointers on how to navigate this? She's pretty picky and prefers men ages 30 to about 50, attractive, athletic build. Kind of difficult someone that gets the whole she's allowed to do this and is willing to... umm... enjoy her while I am in the house either watching or not. Need some help!