Welcome to our latest episode of that other lifestyle podcast! In this episode, Jason passionately debunks common myths and assumptions that society often holds about swingers and those in open relationships.
Whether you're curious, a part of the lifestyle, or identifying as vanilla, there's something for everyone. Jason tackles what it truly means to be part of this inclusive community, discussing everything from ethical non-monogamy to the mistaken identity of swingers. Expect humorous anecdotes, a lot of myth-busting, and an open invitation for listeners to explore beyond societal norms.
My links:
www.thatotherlifestyle.com
https://benable.com/ThatOtherLifestyle
National Lifestyle Weekend Tickets
Naughty in New Orleans 2025 Tickets
Single Men's Guide to the Lifestyle Course
https://beacons.ai/thatotherlifestyle
Risque Lifestyle Parties
SDC.com
STDHero.com
Hellowisp.com
Transcript
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to That Other Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we talk about the assumptions vanilla people have about the lifestyle. This podcast is for adults only. We'll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language so it is not safe for work. If you are under 18, this is not the place for you.
This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy, and it's open to everyone, no matter your background, gender identity, expression, or your personal truth. While I do try my best to use inclusive language, you might hear terms like husband, wife, or partner, for simplicity's sake. This show is for everyone, lifestyle, vanilla, or just the curious. You want to connect, you can send me an email to host at thatotherlifestyle.com or visit my website at thatotherlifestyle.com. Everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is so much more than you think.
I threw out the original topic for this week. It was supposed to be about vetting other couples, you know, useful practices, best practices, where I walk you through how to build your personal vetting process, share a few hilarious disaster stories from my own life, help out the newbies kind of thing. Did I do that? Absolutely not. Because, plot twist, the topic just didn't resonate with me this week. Not yet, anyway. I'm just going to put it in my brain, let it marinate and percolate, whatever the brain chemistry calls for.
We'll circle back to it once I figure out what the hell I need to say about that topic. Meanwhile, while I'm over here frantically rewriting an entire script for the week, normally, like a responsible adult, I outline the episode on Monday, write on Tuesday, I proof it on Wednesday, and record on Thursday. No, fuck that. Brand new 5,000 word script from scratch with a deadline of today about a topic I found scrawled in my notebook. See, I'm so good at adulting.
Going down my list of potential topics because I threw the first topic out, you know, the list is how to do sex better, what happens if you get outed, lingerie, better oral sex, how to connect physically with people, how to start a swinger tribe, giving everyone a window into the future topics here. Three words on that list jumped out at me. One, because they were so poorly written. And the other was that the topic itself, vanilla a people why. There was no explanation. It was just three words. No context or any quantifying words, and I barely had a memory of writing it.
I am 90% sure I wrote those three words in a day's shuffle into my office at 2 a.m. It was inspired by a dream or that state when you wake up in bed and everything runs through your brain at one time. And it must have been where I encountered some vanilla people the previous day, and they were being just very vanilla. And I figured, oh, fuck yeah, I will definitely remember this entire complex thought tomorrow morning. I didn't. But good news, that blurry chaotic scribble I found, it sparked something in my brain.
Instead of teaching you how to vet other couples this week, and I promise that episode will come in time, I'm going to burn some myths to the ground, so let's get out the fucking torches. We're going to talk about vanilla people's assumptions about the lifestyle. We're going to debunk what we can, educate, enlighten, maybe start a small cult. And if this devolves into the usual lunacy and ramblings, I stayed on brand. We need to talk about what are swingers.
Specifically, when I say that word, I bet you are now imagining two cis, white, heteronormative, older couple, probably affluent, sitting in a hot tub in central Florida, naked, drinking margaritas. That's the image most people have in their heads of what a swinger is. Swingers are just lurking in the bushes to invade random strangers' hot tubs with a margarita and lust in their eyes, right? This is not true. I can tell you that this is not true. People in the lifestyle, which is what most people use in the lifestyle in place of the term swinger, they don't fit this mold.
They don't fit any mold. Now, granted, there are people who fit this fucking mold. I know people and they probably call themselves swingers. We don't all live in a retirement community. We do not all own hot tubs. Okay, I did own a hot tub at one time, but I'll tell you more about that later. And I did get rid of it actually when we started in the lifestyle. Hot tubs are not nearly as conducive to sexy time as people think. The modern lifestyle in this year of 2025 is way more inclusive than people think.
Vanilla people will assume that everyone in the lifestyle falls into this rigid swinger category, as in cis-heteronormative married couple having sex with another cis-heteronormative couple. That's the traditional definition of swinging perpetuated by the media. For those in the lifestyle, some do. Some fit that mold, some don't. Most people prefer to say that we are in the lifestyle versus outright identifying themselves as swingers. Some people, they do use that term and they're proudly reclaiming it. I won't get into the appropriateness of the word swinger.
What I will say to the vanilla crowd is that the lifestyle is way more inclusive than we get credit for. People are allowed to be bisexual or explore their fantasies in ways that fall outside of the traditional foursome. Whether someone is bisexual, asexual, polyamorous, lesbian, gay, straight, everyone is welcome here. Swinger as a word, it also excludes play styles. And how about that one for an assumption too? There are different play styles in the lifestyle. Some people into hot wifing or gang bangs or just the basic vanilla fuckery. No right or wrong way to do the lifestyle.
And as a community, we're not going to exclude anyone based upon a particular play style, or at least we shouldn't. And another thing, talking about genital smashing. No, we will not have sex with anyone anytime. That doesn't happen. We have standards. We do have people we are physically attracted to and not physically attracted to. There's a pervasive myth in the vanilla world that we're all just sex-grazed heathens, right? Indulging in one-night stands with random strangers. That is the furthest thing from the truth, and it breaks down under any kind of scrutiny.
Look, vanilla person who is possibly listening to me, you are not attracted physically to every single person you meet or greet, meet and see on the street, right? There are certain body types, features, and mannerisms that you find attractive and arousing. If a person is completely lacking in the features and mannerisms that you find attractive, you don't want to have sex with them. Why would you assume a person in the lifestyle does not have the same concept of attraction as a person in the general population? And another fucking thing.
That's going to be a running joke throughout this episode. Just one long fucking rant. People in the lifestyle are not trying to turn people in the general population as a whole. We're not. I say that with a caveat that there are some people who are. Most people don't. If a friend shares with you that they are in the lifestyle, they're most likely sharing with you because they want to share a part of their life and they feel comfortable to share that with you. Be happy for that. Most people never share their participation in a lifestyle, and I'll talk about that later.
If someone does share their sex life, they're probably not looking to convert anyone. Now, there is a population of people in the lifestyle who, yes, they actively pursue and enjoy flipping vanilla couples. I don't like this, and most people I know in the lifestyle don't like this. I've seen this happen, and I don't like it. A lifestyle couple is at a bar scoping out attractive people. They set their sights on a cute young couple. The wife, the LS wife, will go stand next to the couple to order a drink. You know, very innocent, right?
And while she's standing there, she's going to strike up a conversation with the other woman just to feel out the situation. And if there might be a spark there, then the LS wife will signal her husband to come join her. The lifestyle wife will then move on to talk to the other husband while the lifestyle husband starts talking to the vanilla wife. I have fucking watched this. I didn't like it. I, the time I did see it, I may have fucked up the mojo by interjecting myself like an asshole. Maybe that happened. At this point, here's what happens. The two women are talking.
Lifestyle wife compliments vanilla wife to see how she takes it. Then the lifestyle husband will compliment the vanilla wife to see how the vanilla husband reacts. Back and forth for a while, there's a light arm touch, copious amounts of alcohol. Then the lifestyle couple will offer to take the vanilla couple to a second location, maybe another bar or maybe straight to a hotel room if they think they've got this locked down. I don't know what happens after that because we don't do this. I can imagine though.
This nice vanilla couple who never discuss swapping or being in an open marriage have a night of awkward, uncomfortable sex with a predatory lifestyle couple. The vanilla couple will feel shame after. The lifestyle couple feels accomplished because they flipped another one, right? This is not acceptable behavior to the vast majority of lifestyle people. That vanilla couple, look, they're not equipped to handle what happened. And who the fuck knows how much alcohol played a role. Did they consent properly? We have rules about consent for a reason. Nope, I am not a fan of this behavior.
It happens and I wish it didn't. And that is the same attitude of other people in the lifestyle I know. This is a choice a couple makes with clear minds and education, not a random hookup at a bar after too much tequila. All right, I say all that because the segment of lifestyle people who engage in that behavior is actually really small, very tiny, and it is frowned upon generally. But it can also So I have to go that out there too. Sometimes people are nice. People are super uncomfortable with strangers being friendly.
Do not automatically assume people are swingers just because they're being nice to you. Do not assume anyone is in the lifestyle unless they specifically tell you. But Jason, I saw this list online that told me all the secret symbols that people use to advertise that they're in the lifestyle out in public. Okay. Okay. I'll give you that one. And I retort with that list is bullshit. It originated online around 2010. I'm still trying to figure out where the fuck the original publication is, and it gets regurgitated every couple of months whenever there's a slow news day.
Because let me guess, that list included pompous grass and black rings. I did a whole episode on the secret swinger symbols, and I think it was my second episode ever, and I'm going to do a whole series on my YouTube channel, that other lifestyle, debunking all this bullshit. Here's the truth. Here's the truth, my dude. You ready? Most people, like 96% of people who are into ethical non-monogamy in whatever form, polyamory, lifestyle, gangbangs, consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, whatever, They don't want people to know. Because of that, they do not advertise it. Simple.
We don't want vanilla people knowing what we do. Yes, we hide it for reasons. Social acceptance, moral acceptance, parents, kids, jobs. People have very good damn reasons to not tell everyone they are in the lifestyle. Which also means not waving around secret symbols that turns out everyone knows. But, Jason, this one time I went to a bar and I saw a lady wearing a black ring. That means she's a swinger, right? And the internet told me this and blah. Look, here's what really fucking happened here. You saw a person in a public location wearing a piece of jewelry. That's it.
None of these secret swinger symbols like that black ring will give you one iota of actionable intelligence. None. Unless that woman flat out fucking looks me in the eye and tells me I have sex with men that I am not married to. I will make zero assumptions about her sex life. I don't know. Unless that woman flat out fucking looks me in the eye and tells me I have sex with men that I am not married to, I will make zero assumptions about her sex life. This is coming from someone on the inside.
I know many, many people that will party super hard on a Saturday night, crawl their happy ass out of an orgy and be back at work on a Monday morning, and you would have no idea what they do for fun. Which now I ask, why does the vanilla crowd care? The way I see it, it is morbid curiosity. It is the same people listen to those fucking true crime podcasts that get monetized, but no, Jason talking positively about sex, I can't get any of that fucking money. Everyone knows how I feel about them at this point, right? It's human nature. People want to know what their neighbors are doing.
They want to gawk. They want to stare. And with swinging, since it's not socially acceptable, it makes the act of knowing about it all the more juicy. Would anyone care if a couple decided to change the carpet in their living room? Granted, there might be some pissy toxic people out there who would then hypothesize on how could they afford it, and the color is wrong. These same fuckers generally just have an opinion on something that doesn't concern them in the least bit, and they do this all the time.
People are nosy, especially the kind of people that have boring lives, boring jobs, boring marriages, boring kids. They want gossip to make their lives more interesting by sharing it. Lacking any hobbies or substance, I guess gossiping about the neighbors is a good substitute. Do you share with your neighbors whenever you have sex, with your husband, with your spouse, with your wife, or whatever? Do you share what you had for dinner? Do you share what your tire pressure is in your car today? And I bet there is someone out there who wants all that information.
Devoid of their own thoughts and fulfillment, they will fill the hole in their soul with the most mundane gossip imaginable. And yeah, these people, if they found out their neighbor is a swinger, everybody in town is going to fucking know. These people have nothing of their own, so they will share someone else's business instead. That's the way I look at it. The ones who are super nosy in gossip all the time, if their life is full and fulfilled, what the fuck does it matter what I do on the weekends?
Most of the secret swinger symbols that people assume we use are things that we put in our yard like pompous grass or white rocks. They assume that they're ways that we advertise to other swingers to identify ourselves publicly. Oh, the worst one, like putting a pineapple on your front porch when we host an orgy. Why the fuck would I advertise that? People imagine those in the lifestyle want them to know. And if they can decode our secrets, then they will gain some forbidden knowledge they so desire. Look, here's the truth. There are no secret symbols. We don't fucking need them.
We have the internet to meet other couples. Maybe in the long, long ago before digital communication, yeah, couples had to be discreet and they use secret means to communicate and identify each other. Not the fuck no more. We got websites for that. It's that gossip factor. I cannot wrap my head around. People want to know about the miseries of others. People assume the only reason anyone would willingly choose to swap partners is because their marriage is bad and they're trying to fix it. This is so far from the truth. You need a telescope.
Most marriages I know of in the lifestyle, and I know a lot, are good. Good, strong marriages filled with love and commitment and communication. The spouses genuinely like and love each other. I know a couple who have been married for 29 years, and they still act like they're on their honeymoon. These people in the lifestyle express that love fully and openly. Honestly, though, I can't say I have met people who joined the lifestyle and their marriage did not last. But I refute any blame put onto the lifestyle or swinging for the marriage not working out. It wasn't a lifestyle.
They had problems before and the lifestyle amplified those problems. If a marriage is good, this will make it great. If the marriage is bad, this will make it break. I marriage is bad this will make it break i've seen it happen but i don't blame the ls if a couple maintains proper communication respects consent sets appropriate and good rules and boundaries this can work out really well and if they don't do any of those things or all of those things it ain't gonna last and maybe i'm preaching to choir on this. Maybe you are a lifestyle person listening to me who already knows all this.
Although I do hope I have at least like three vanilla listeners who are genuinely curious what goes on behind closed doors, hopefully this episode is going to dispel any assumptions. This is a secret society in that we operate on our own rules and etiquette. We have ways to identify ourselves like fucking websites, not anklets. People want to know what's going on. They want to look behind the curtain. And I will tell you fully and openly and honestly, every single week, tune in for a new lesson in the wild lifestyle. And don't leave yet. The episode ain't over. I got more ranting to do.
Glow Party, May 2nd and May 3rd in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Tickets are available at risquélifestyleparties.com. Experience cutting-edge hologram and light show technology as Risqué turns it up to 11 all night long. You can glow and dance and party till 4am with all your sexy lifestyle friends at this one-of-a-kind hotel takeover. Friday night is an Area 69 themed party when all the aliens will arrive. Bring your best science fiction or alien costume. Saturday is the topless pool party. Yes, topless.
Then get your favorite rave costume or outfit ready for the wildest glow party you have ever seen. Tickets are available at risquélifestyleparties.com, May 2nd and 3rd. Join us for an out-of-this-world glow party you do not want to miss. Hey, are you a newbie and nervous about doing your first STI test? Worried about someone finding out? Worried about having an awkward conversation with your doctor or having to go to a lab? Good news! STDHero.com offers discreet at home STI testing.
Choose from their common, advanced, or ultimate testing kits to give you peace of mind and no awkward, embarrassing conversations. STD hero tests are painless, no finger sticks, and you can mail in your results straight from your mailbox. Nothing is sexier than being responsible in the lifestyle. And now is your chance to get peace of mind and back to the fun with a special promo code. Use code TOL15 at checkout for 15% off your order. If you are nervous about taking your test, check out Jason taking a real at home STD Hero STI test on the That Other Lifestyle YouTube channel.
A prevailing myth, not just about the lifestyle, but anyone who enjoys sex, is that you're dirty. This one drives me fucking bonkers. And to illustrate my point, let's go back to the wonderful years of 2010 to 2014. Granted, this show is over 10 years old, but it's still applicable. There's an old game show, maybe you've seen it, called Baggage, and we watch reruns of it. IMDb describes it as dating game show where three potential matches reveal embarrassing secrets from small to large suitcases.
The contestant eliminates one after the medium case, then picks between the remaining two biggest secrets to find their match. Oh, and it was hosted by Jerry Springer of all people. So yeah, that guy. On one episode we watched, a man revealed his baggage was that he dated a porn star at one time for a few months. To which the lady who was doing the picking, oh, she was bothered and revolted. Even made a comment about how she worried he might have a venereal disease. Her words, not mine. That guy was sent the fuck home because of a past girlfriend's involvement in the porn industry.
A different episode. This dude, his baggage was that he frequented STD clinics because he refused to wear condoms. On national television that will play the show in perpetuity in reruns. He told the world he does not wear condoms, and as a result, has to get tested for STIs all the time. The contestant picked that man. She picked him. She knows this. He doesn't use condoms. What the shit? I will fully admit, I would have sex with a porn star in a heartbeat versus a random vanilla person off the street, and I will not think twice. You want to know why?
Because to be in the porn industry, at least here in the States, they have to get tested every two weeks. Pick a random vanilla person, and I will bet they have never been tested in their life. And well, they don't need to get tested because they are just with one person in a monogamous relationship. Really? Really? Monogamy does not stop STIs. Sure, it will diminish the chance of it happening, but it's not 100%. The hell? No, you may not catch chlamydia, but there are other STIs that you can still catch without sex.
Just because an STI means sexually transmitted infection does not mean that sex is the only way that you catch them. It is a designation of infections that are transmitted sexually, mostly. But yeah, you know what? So is the common cold and strep throat. People in the lifestyle get STI tested, or you should. We know our status. Do you know yours? I partnered with STD Hero because I believe in testing. I know how important it is, and I know that as a community, we take this very seriously. Yeah, some fucking people, some people out there, raw dog life.
I imagine they're also the kind of people that don't wear seatbelts or sunscreen or use alarm clocks. This is just a general reminder to all my lifestyle friends out there. Do you need to get tested this month? Use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order at stdhero.com. Yes, we take precautions as a group, as a community, to minimize the risk associated with having sex with people we're not married to, including using condoms and regular testing. And in regards to having sex with married people, it's not as frequent as people think. People think this is a constant free-for-all.
Every single night, naked bodies, slapping next to each other, getting sweaty and horny and orgasms. There are people in this who are very active. There are people who are not active. There are people who have sex with new couples every weekend. There are others who only do this once a year. Everyone engages at their own pace and their own comfort level. People will assume this hobby, this lifestyle is all just rainbows and kittens, wonderful stuff and orgies and key parties. Love to burst the bubble on this one. First, orgies. Yes, I have been in orgies. Yes, I have organized them.
And let me tell you, my friend, they are a right bitch to put together. They are rare for a reason, maybe once a year if you're lucky. They are rare because you need the exact right combination of people, attraction, interest to pull it off. And that's hard to force it to happen. I've been to a lot of gatherings, maybe 10 people. And I know some dude watching from the outside is just rubbing his hands, licking lips, thinking any moment now they're all going to start making out and get naked. Nope. We played cards and board games all night. There was no nudity.
There was no, we played no strip poker, nothing. Another time, my wife and I stumbled into an orgy in a hotel room. We quietly nodded, waved at everybody, closed the door and bounced. It happens. I can't confirm that. Not as much as people think. And key parties. Fucking key parties. I did a whole episode just debunking this one. Key parties are Hollywood shorthand and bad writing for television shows. You want to show that this group of people on camera are sexual deviants and wild? Make the setting a key party or show a fishbowl with keys in it. Subtle hint right there. They don't happen.
The logistics of setting this up just for one thing are mind-blowing. But Jason, I saw this TikTok. Yeah, fucker, I saw the same TikTok. It's fake. It's a fucking TikTok video created for you to watch, consume, and somebody's getting paid off of that. In the general lifestyle world, without a camera involved. No, key parties do not happen. Other cliches, hot tubs. All right, let me talk about hot tubs. We had a hot tub actually when we started in the lifestyle and I got rid of the fucker. We did try the sexy thing. Four naked people in a hot tub and that shit descended into chaos.
You got four people in a hot tub. Did you think about this? Two dudes, you're going to touch. Even if it's just your legs, you're going to touch. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. Let's get to the bad part. Sex in a hot tub is a terrible idea for women. Do not do this. More yeast infections have come from hot tubs than yoga pants in my opinion. Another downside. This is a good one. If you mix a hot tub with alcohol and Viagra, you're gonna have a bad night. Trust me. There are probably warning labels somewhere on these products to not combine this and do it, but I didn't listen.
Those three things mixed together will lead to a drop in blood pressure, which causes people to fall right out of the fucking hot tub. There's also a cliche of the older couple out there looking for fresh young singles to seduce and bring back to their hotel. Okay, this one while I did a whole rant on how I don't like people who go after vanilla people. So yes, this could be a thing. We're splitting hairs here. Yes, let's split some hairs. Most people in the lifestyle don't operate this way. We will not approach a random stranger at a bar.
We will not assume someone is interested in us like this. I won't discount this completely. I will share, though, most couples meet other couples in the lifestyle, though. Just share how we do it.
we have websites just like there's dating sites for every single kind of person out there there are dedicated dating sites for people who engage and believe in consensual or ethical non-monogamy you can make a profile and you can look through those other profiles it's like any other dating site i know everyone who is on one of these sites knows what the deal is by signing up and i know everyone on this site is green like go to engage with. A random stranger in a bar, I don't know them. I don't know what they're into, and I don't want to find out, and I don't want to make assumptions.
Boom, tying it all back together. The cliche of a couple looking for a single at a bar, I actually question some shit here. Like, why aren't they joining the other lifestyle people over in a safe lifestyle space? Why are they cruising bars? Might be a kink, maybe. They might be looking for new people. Okay, still, I question it. Why go through the headache of dealing with a random person when there's websites full of people who are into the same thing you are? There are presumptions that vanilla people make about the lifestyle. I equate it to a sports team and social organizations.
I don't know. who are into the same thing you are. There are presumptions that vanilla people make about the lifestyle. I equate it to a sports team and social organizations. On one hand, the vanilla world thinks the lifestyle swingers, open marriage, ethical non-monogamy, is this monolithic social group with a central leadership dictating rules, akin to like a social club like a Mardi Gras crew or an Elks Lodge or even the Freemasons. There's an assumption that there is leadership at the top that makes decisions for this group regarding culture, language, and etiquette.
To go along with that idea that this is a social organization, there's also an assumption that people in the lifestyle want to actively recruit new people to join, which we don't. But people think we do. Hence why vanilla people get all fucking weird when they learn someone is in the LS. They assume that we are trying to recruit them because we want to have sex with them. And the thought that someone other than their spouse wanting to have sex with them makes them uncomfortable. Maybe they're intrigued. Maybe they're flattered.
Maybe they hide their interest behind a wall of shame and disgust, unwilling to even entertain the possibility or admit to themselves that, yeah, this could be fun. Then there is this swirling vortex of insecurity and emotions that they are not equipped to deal with. On the opposite, that if a person in the lifestyle does not try to recruit them, then vanilla people assume that no one wants to have sex with them, that they're unworthy of recruitment and their feelings are hurt. You can't win.
For the vast majority of people in the lifestyle, they are not actively trying to recruit new people into this. I can't say it doesn't happen. There are outliers. I think the extent for most people is just sharing, hey, this is what I do on the weekends. I want to share it and that's it. We're not actively trying to turn or flip the nillos into opening up their marriage. Come fucking hang out with us. I ain't telling you who to have sex with. That process sounds incredibly difficult, tedious, and unpleasant. So we don't do it.
I don't want to be the one that to educate and then convince someone to possibly ruin their marriage if they're not ready for it. I get asked by people this question a couple of times in a couple of different ways. Hey, Jason, we told our friends about the lifestyle and they seem interested. What now? There's an adage that we have over here. You make friends out of swingers, not swingers out of friends. I will offer this advice. If your vanilla friends are genuinely interested in the lifestyle, they need to go get educated on their own.
You should not be the sole source of information about this. Send them off to all the online resources and this fantastic podcast, right, to learn about the lifestyle on their own, giving them autonomy and freedom to make up their minds without you involved in the conversation. But I digress. Where the fuck was I? The other assumptions that vanilla people make. We are not a secret society. We are a society that stays secret. There's a difference. There is no central leadership here.
The social and culture, the society and culture that we engage in, it is all organic, reacting independently even down to the individual level to the societal zeitgeist, personal experiences, and the tribal bonds. The other assumption that vanilla people make, I will equate to a sports team. If you're a big fan of a particular team, you will proudly display their colors, jerseys, watch the games. People know that you are a fan because you are telling them through your social identity. That does not apply to people in the lifestyle.
For the most part, while being in the lifestyle is part of our personal experiences, it is not our entire social identity or a social identity we want to share. They see themselves as parents, employees, bosses, neighbors, friends first before they see themselves as swingers. We do not display signs of being in the lifestyle because while being a football fan is socially acceptable, engaging in consensual non-monogamy is not. It just ain't. It is easier for the psyche to keep that shit under wraps than deal with any headaches that may come along with it.
That's why lifestyle spaces are so important to us, be it a club or a venue or a campground. It is a space where we can fully express ourselves away from judgment. And that's what it is. It's judgment. All these assumptions are judgments. This is not about excluding vanilla people either. The last assumption is that we're excluding people. We are not. Everyone is welcome. Just like I say in my disclaimer every fucking week, everyone is welcome regardless of what you look like. That's one big hang up vanilla people have.
They'll say, well, I'm excluded from this because I'm overweight or too short or too tall or the wrong hair color, whatever they pick. And you are not excluded based on your physical appearance or gender or whatever you're attracted to and whatever you want to fuck. We in the lifestyle want to make sure that those who are included share our collective values first. No one is judged based on their physical appearance. Granted, not everyone will want to fuck you, but you're not excluded from our spaces because of that.
People can be excluded from these spaces by not being body positive, sex positive, and the big one, not respecting and understanding consent. Look, I encourage vanilla people, if you're curious, go learn. If you want to know more, ask. The lifestyle is not solely based upon fucking other people. When you want to join a fun, open, free society of like-minded people looking to make friends and reject societal norms, we'll be here waiting.
I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so feel free to reach out to me at host at thatotherlifestyle.com. My website is thatotherlifestyle.com. My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional or a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and please join us for the next episode. Remember, STI testing is important, and it takes a community to make a difference.
Go to stdhero.com and use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order. Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.