Join host Jason on 'That Other Lifestyle' as he welcomes a beloved friend of the show, DJ Fabz. Amidst an unexpected snowstorm in the southern U.S., Jason and DJ Fabz cozy up with hot chocolate to discuss thrilling parties and events kicking off in 2025. From a historic southern snowstorm to legendary parties including the recent New Year's Eve bash, the duo shares behind-the-scenes stories of their unforgettable gatherings.
Listen in as DJ Fabz recounts his energetic DJ sets and upcoming events, including a unique onesie party in Longview, Texas, and the anticipated Mardi Gras celebration in Baton Rouge. Their conversation delves into the deeper aspects of the lifestyle, highlighting the importance of community, charity events, and maintaining a sense of camaraderie and generosity.
With plans for exciting future events, including the innovative beachside Pulsify event in Florida, Jason and DJ Fabz emphasize how the lifestyle is not just about the fun but also about giving back and supporting worthwhile causes. Tune in for insights, laughter, and warm vibes as they share their stories and plans for the year ahead.
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Transcript
good morning good afternoon good evening wherever you are i hope you have blue skies and you're staying warm today my name is jason i am host of that other lifestyle and today we have a very special friend of the show on with us dj fabes how are you doing sir man i'm doing great i'm doing great 2025 is off to a good start that's right so y'all just sit back y'all relax we're just going to talk about some really cool stuff that's going on right now i'm hanging out i got my hot chocolate with me because me and dj fabes we happen to live in the southern part of the united states which is experiencing a onceifetime snowstorm.
I like living way down in the south because it doesn't get that cold very often. Today, 10 inches of snow, which is completely alien to me. So I'm sitting here hanging out. I got my hot chocolate. I was like, you know what? I need to talk to somebody who's going to help warm up my soul.
And I hope he does the same thing for all of you yeah I um I'm kind of digging the snow just momentarily being a New Yorker you know I was used to this haven't seen quite as much in a while um I think 2017 was the last time I saw snow here we had about three or four inches but this is like a real real snowstorm like this is legit this is legit parts of the country that have never had a blizzard warning got one this morning i i don't even know what to do i walk outside and i stand there in for a minute and realize i'm really cold and go back inside exactly it's cold too because it's been in the 20s you know throughout some of this so it's uh it's been something else i got me thinking about all kinds of spring and summertime activities already.
Right? That's the rub about the wintertime. It can put a damper on the lifestyle fun, but we always got the spring and the summer coming up. We always got bikini season coming up. Absolutely. And speaking of all the cool stuff coming up, you are busy, man. Yeah. You are running all over the place. Yeah, we've got a lot going on. So we did hang out for New Year's Eve, which was amazing and fantastic. We did the risque party. You were DJing. You were the one who did the countdown to midnight. That was just special. It was a special moment.
I will cherish my memory of being in that ballroom with, what, people yeah easily ape shit yeah it was really great it was good that that titty swims uh don't stop believing track really i know man yeah there was a sing-along for four minutes right before the 10 and it was really beautiful so that song has a special place in my heart and fabian's because one time we were at a house party and me and him did a fantastic fantastic lip sync version of that song with all the dancing and all the stuff and it was just spectacular so that song has a special place in my heart i always think of dj faves whenever i hear it and that song came on and yeah the whole crowd was just singing along to it it was a magical wonderful moment yeah that was pretty cool and now I have an annual tradition at midnight I kiss my wife and then I go find your wife exactly wonderful wonderful swab lotus I go and find her and I grab her and I pick her up and I parade her around the ballroom just because you know it's quite pick up a bull yes i've done that two years in a row so i figured that's just going to be the annual tradition of go find her yeah her around the ballroom yeah but you have been so busy and i the the parties are just popping off left and right you got some um last weekend i'm sorry i didn't talk about it more last.
You had a thing in Baton Rouge at the smiling dog. Yeah. Yeah. We did a, we did covenant house fundraiser. That's a local charity in town. It actually turned out really well. So they have a permanent site in new Orleans and then they of course do their pop-up type things as needed in other parts of the state. But you know, they're an international organization with headquarters out of New York City. So we had some New York Covenant House people come in. So the way it works is in January, they do something called sleep out.
So what happens is families will donate whatever, whether it's 50 bucks or a hundred dollars, whatever they can put together as a family.
And then on top of that donation, they go in their yard in sleeping bags and tents oh wow contingent upon weather and where they are in the country and they hold up signs you know saying sleep out for covenant house really cool very forward-leaning type of deal um and someone reached out to me and said hey you know we see that you dj and you know we know that you do a lot of different venues and stuff how would you would you consider doing like basically a rescue party where you dj if you can get them to let people in for nothing and do some drink specials and stuff like that so i just threw it out there you know to the people at the smiling dog here in baton rouge and they ran with it like straight out like you know one cut headed for the goalpost type run with it they put together giveaways anybody that donated automatically got raffle tickets they were giving away stuff like three sessions of laser hair removal they were giving away luggage the way it was wild i mean it was really really cool we had a good good turnout raised a bunch of for them.
Everything went straight into their portal, straight into the, you know, the, uh, the, the CPAs account box where they can check and verify everything. And it contacted us back and said, this should be an annual deal. So we're probably going to make it my personal, like seminal philanthropic thing to do every year. You know, it's okay.
New year, new year new me let's do this again and let's raise some money and help these folks because they take care of you know homeless teens abused teens trafficked teens you know it's it's a really worthy cause so that party was awesome i know we had a whole plan for this but i just want to mention about the lifestyle giving back because it's exactly right so often that we all get together we all party hard we go to these events and you may have a hundred to five hundred thousand people or whatever that's a really good chance to help other people and give back i had my birthday party i did a collection of feminine hygiene products okay tampons pads all that stuff right because i figured well let's give back and i had everybody come over and everybody donated stuff and we gave it to a local charity that provides them to um teenage girls in high school so they can't afford it then you know there's help for them i love that i love the idea of the lifestyle people giving back because we have a lot to be thankful for we really, really fun hobby, and that's just a chance for us to step it up and maybe help address some of the stigmas out there in the lifestyle.
Like we want people, we want to help people. We want to do good. Yeah, we have fun doing it, but it is a chance for us to help other people. So I love that. I love that you're doing that with this group. Yeah, it was great. And 90% of those that were present were lifestyle people. So it really was, you know, it wasn't, you know, we didn't push it as a lifestyle event, but we knew our people were going to show up because that's, that's how we are. That's what we do.
You know, that's the beauty of, of the lifestyle is that, is that sense of community to fellowship part of it is really strong you know i love that i love i love the community coming together to have a fun time but also to make a difference and to help out other people who really really need it okay i got completely sidetracked no you're good you're talking about how busy i am you are busy man you got something coming up this weekend you got something coming up but march and you've got that big thing we're gonna drop on everybody here in a minute right it's coming up this weekend so this weekend we're going to longview texas we're doing our second uh annual onesie party at the holiday in there it's a risque lifestyle parties event um you know we do our parties in Baton Rouge at a holiday and we were able to connect with and negotiate contracts with another holiday.
And this one's in the, you know, the greater Dallas area, you know, I would guess it would be West, uh, I mean, East of Dallas. Yeah. East of Dallas. Um, first one was really like a, okay, let's see what happens. You know, we got there and it was very well attended by locals. Uh, people came in from Shreveport. People came in from Alexandria, Louisiana. People came in from Southern Texas, Middle Texas, Northern Texas. People came from, you know, lots of different places, including even Oklahoma. Um, it was really, really neat.
The long view is about two hours from Dallas in between Dallas and Shreveport, Louisiana. Exactly, exactly. Just scared by an idea of what we're talking about. Right. So it turned out to be an incredible event. I mean, we learned a lot about all the lifestyle communities that are out in that neck of the woods that don't actually have anywhere to go necessarily.
There aren't a lot of things for them to do and so many of them showed up just out of curiosity you know they looked online found risque or had otherwise heard of risque they came out they saw it with their own eyes partied had a good time dance met people hung out you know fraternized the whole nine yards and it worked out really well like, okay, let us know if you're going to do it again because we want to start making this our thing every year. This will be the second one. That's a big deal for people, especially, I'm just going to pick on Texas because Texas is huge.
If you live in one of those areas, the middle of nowhere, there ain't a whole lot to do. There ain't no club. There's no clubs. There's no people throwing parties and stuff. So it's awesome that Risqué is going to go out to this area, bring that party with them and do something really cool for everybody around. That's right. You know, if you're listening and you live in the middle of nowhere and you think that nothing's going on with there are parties out there. You may have to drive an hour or two. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you're just spot on with it.
So it really is cool that it, you know, the first, first time out did as well as it did. And there was definitely an interest in us coming back to do it. So that's exactly what we're doing, responding to that need and that, that want and desire and putting something together for them as well. And I love with the risque because they roll in, y'all. I've seen it a few times. They roll in, they bring an entire party. They got a whole trailer with them and they bring all the equipment. They bring the party.
People tell me all the names of the things like the light bars and the sound system and all that.
And it's allreek to me i just know it's loud and looks really cool that's the important criteria for me it's loud it looks great yeah it's a it's a quality thing too you know because it started off very meek and uh meager and mild with some bluetooth speakers and some you know oh this is not that amazon lights and now it's a full-blown trust out production oh yeah it's a good deal and really if y'all if y'all never been to a risque party i cannot it's just amazing how they can roll in 12 hours have all this stuff set up and this is not a rinky dink little operation this ain't somebody like fabianian says, playing a Bluetooth speaker in a hotel room.
This is quality, good production parties. And I really appreciate that. Yeah.
It's basically in essence, a club conversion of a ballroom space, you know, so when you walk, the employees are always the ones that give you the best feedback because when risk a rolls in and we set up the first time in their space and they see it, they like holy crap we didn't know this could look like this you know professional that's i mean i mean it's just it's professional this is a these are professional level hotel takeovers yeah um we have been to put like floor so there's a thing called floor parties out there where everyone will rent out an entire floor of a hotel and the different rooms are decorated and you got little bluetooth speakers right real full-on parties i really don't know the right word for it um because here locally we went to a mardi gras party and i'm so spoiled by risque because risque puts on these big productions so we went to a vanilla mardi gras party we walk in there there as a high school gym or a community center.
And they still got, you know, they got the basketball, uh, goals, just kind of rotated back and I'm looking at like this little background for the pictures and stuff. And the sound system was like a bunch of Bluetooth speakers off Amazon, just like you said.
And I was like, said oh wow this is what vanilla people do for fun i am spoiled by risque yeah yeah we come in with 30 000 watts of goodness and make it thump you know so it's fun it's a fun thing to do it's definitely thumps and the theme for long view is onesies so it's onesie yeah that's that's we call it that's where the we used to do a onesie party um the same period of time, right after New Year's, and then kind of didn't do it for about two years, probably right after COVID hit, so 21, 22.
And so bringing it back, instead of just bringing it right back into the same flow in the Baton Rouge local area, we figured let's just take a shot and it worked out. So now long view is the home of the onesie party that risque throws. Now I'm kind of sad because one of us has very broad shoulders. I cannot fit in a onesie, cannot find a onesie that fits me. So I would just have to tie it around my waist and truck on with the night. Well, you know, there's, that's one way to rock it. Give me a nice fur coat instead.
So you got the onesie party coming up and then the next big risque party is the Mardi Gras party. Yeah, that'll be Mardi Gras. So Mardi Gras this year, the actual Mardi Gras falls on March 4th this year. That's Fat Tuesday this year. We always do the Mardi Gras party in the same month as actual Mardi Gras. And we typically try to do it after Mardi Gras itself has happened. It just works out well that way. You know, people have still have all their gear and their clothing and they've got throws they've caught and all kinds of neat, you know, props and things that they can bring along.
So it makes our Mardi Gras party that much more fun because in the spirit of Mardi Gras and you know, that's what makes Louisiana so unique, I guess in some ways, because we convert our Christmas trees into Mardi Gras trees because you know, the holiday season extends a little bit further for us. It does. We just kind of keep on partying. Yeah. So we're doing the Mardi Gras party the 21st through the 23rd of March. And that's going to be here in Baton Rouge. And it's going to be the same format.
So that'll be like, you know, Friday night, Saturday night will be the two party nights with everybody blowing out on Sunday the 23rd. And that's a very popular party, the M Mardi Gras party I think that's the second uh it's either that one or the back to school I know they're that one they're back to school but I'll tell you New Year's showed up good big this year too good yeah New Year's was good yeah you always expect New Year's to be a little expected to be a little lighter of a party it actually turned out to be a really good party that.
Again, I think that's a lot of that has to do with the fact that here we are in 2025. Uh, so you're talking now three years post COVID basically, and people are just getting out and about and doing things a little bit more, um, coming out of their, their shells, you know, getting into society again in many ways. So, uh, you see that across a lot of different sectors and definitely across the lifestyle sector as well. And for anybody's interest, I highly recommend the Mardi Gras party. If you've never experienced, now I can get it.
Mardi Gras here in the South and Louisiana, especially New Orleans, it's intimidating as hell hell the whole idea of it going to the parades and all the people and all that stuff it is intimidating this party is in baton rouge it's after mardi gras official the official mardi gras right this would be a really good entry point to experience kind of the fun of mardi gras to experience a lifestyle event this is a really good entry point for that agreed because there is going to be a lot of people there we're going to have a really really good time and like fabian mentions people go nuts for mardi gras they bring the throws and all that good stuff it's fun it's fun you know because i don't if i don't think we ever really talked about, we, I think maybe we did.
I'm just starting to reflect on it. You know, how we talked about how the allure of Mardi Gras is that beads become the currency of the day and the haves and the have nots. And so people who would not be inclined to do certain things in public will do those things because they want to get into the currency of the beam, you know, it's fascinating concept, just looking at how the mind works and the way people engage with things and just let their hair down a little bit and have a little fun.
So Mardi Gras, you know, overall is a place where you'll see the vanilla people doing some pretty risque kind of things that they normally do. Oh man, on Bourbon Street, legit mardi gras there are people out there vanilla people who will put us lifestyle people to shame there are moments when i want to look at them like no darling put put it down just put your shirt down we don't just right a little bit too much right now it's fun stuff man so much fun but mardi gras, Mardi Gras is just such a huge cultural touch point here in the South and Louisiana. Highly recommend everyone check that out.
I mean, it's clearly a big thing because so many other states have now even picked up on doing that.
And you see a lot of Mardi Gras parties emerging even within the lifestyle space, you in proximity to louisiana so you'll find them in houston in different places you know it's such a fun theme and it's easy you just see purple green and gold it's awesome we love to dress up for stuff so right always a win and then i want to touch on the big news i know we talked about before but this is the big one this is the big news that's out there is risque is going to florida what yeah man i know isn't that the wildest thing so we've worked on this for a while it's something that came up in the owner of risque some mind heath and uh they flirted around with some ideas and and started visiting some places and doing some doing someassing.
Obviously, everything that they do, they discuss with the DJs first. One, for our availability, two, for our input. We look at the parties from a totally different vantage point than everyone else does. The owner of the party is a producer.
The people who attend are the party the party goers and then the djs are like the entertainment so to speak right right so we all have a different slightly different perspective on things and when they came to us and said hey we're thinking about doing something that was in florida all it was from us was like when you know when when are we doing something in florida So we came up with Pulsify is what they came up with. There's this resort that's in, uh, Florida. I'm trying to remember all the details, but I'll tell you. The Island Resort. Yeah.
Cause I always confuse the Island with legends in Mississippi.
Those numbers, those names get twisted around in my head, yes island resort the island resort it's on okaloosa island which is in between fort walton beach and deston florida if you're looking on a map there's this little piece of land it's a giant sandbar that's okaloosa island the resort is on that island it is right on the beach yeah so our take on this is that we're going to take over this sliver of fort walton beach right and we are going to do a couple of things that we don't normally do we're going to first of all you know it's going to be at a time when when the beach is favorable still in terms of weather we're going to be able to party on the beach.
So we will be setting up sound and doing some live DJing right there on the beach.
You know, that means that there'll be opportunities for people to do beach volleyball and then there's jet skiing and there's parasailing opportunities and all of those cool things that you tend to only get to do when you go to Cancun and stuff like that, you or if you spend a good amount of time out in that in the fort walton and destine area we're also going to do the two-party nights but what makes this so different and gives it such a different feel obviously is the atmosphere the location the fact that the resort you know has all those things that you expect in that Mexican experience that you get, the swim-up bars, the jacuzzis.
The waterfall. Right, the waterfall. The rooms, you just walk straight from your room out the door into the pool. Right. I mean, you get all of that right in the backyard of Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, the panhandle. You don't need your passport. Yeah. Don't have to have that, you know, just a valid driver's license is all you need or a valid state ID. Don't drive. But it's really something with your name on it. Absolutely. And, you know, the Gulf, the Gulf shore has the great views, man.
You know you know it's got the nice water and then you you put that together with a couple of ballroom nights of tricked out risque style yeah you know uh club style partying in the ballroom their ballroom i believe is up upstairs in this particular hotel and kind of overlooks the beach that's what i heard that you can see as you're parting there these giant bay windows you can see how they do into the water at night which is always cool as hell and in the middle of this ballroom list with all the thumpy thumpy music and all that so it sounds wild so i'm proposing to to kind of get in there early in evenings just to take advantage of the sunset opportunities.
Oh yeah. You know what I mean? And, uh, and do something a little light, maybe a little more loungy, not as hardcore until normal ballroom opening hours of nine until, but get in there before the sun goes down, you know, kind of thing.
And let people be up there and get the beautiful view of the beach and the umbrellas and all that stuff oh yeah from that vantage point so it's going to have a really different feel to it you know there'll be my ties and pina coladas and oh i'm excited this is the only that you don't see because i was talking to the owner about it this is the only beach lifestyle thing i've heard of now they may have done it before in the past i don't know i don't think anybody's doing it right now yeah doing anything like this on the beach especially in our neck of the woods yeah no 100 and let me tell you it's it was definitely the right time and certainly the right area because people were really looking for something.
Um, the moment it was announced, I think 50 some odd rooms were booked within 48 to 72 hours, which is really, really cool because there's a threshold for it to be a complete takeover that probably only involves another 30 rooms or so. And then it's like lockdown, shut down, totally just for our property. So for, you know, for those three days, you have a good, just locked out event, which is what you want. Ultimately. Yeah. We've had, we'll talk about, we're going to talk about mixing venues, vanilla and lifestyle.
We'll talk about that um here in a minute let me plug this this party we're talking about pulsify it is september 26th through the 28th this year in fort walton beach florida if you want more information to book your hotel and your tickets and all that you want to go to risque lifestyle LifestyleParties.com, RisquéLifestyleParties parties.com this year, September 26th through the 28th. Let's take a quick commercial break and we're going to come back. We're going to talk about all kinds of fun stuff and I'm gonna get more hot chocolate. The guessing stops now with STD Hero.
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hey welcome back everybody i am hanging out with a wonderful the man with all the swagger dj fades can never give you enough compliments can never use enough adjectives to describe you yeah i i don't i don't know man i don't have any but the swagger that this man has when he is walking across a dance floor is just infectious everybody's just all eyes go to him and you're like oh my god what's he gonna do next what's he gonna play next and it's I know that's the fun part though fantastic feeling what is that feeling like whenever you are thinking about so we got all these events coming up we got risque and you do a lot of djing for them and talking about like pulsifying stuff what goes through your head as a dj whenever you're getting ready for one of these parties are you so it's really interesting because you know i'm doing doing a lot right i've even got valentine's day coming up at the smiling dog i've got a risque risky meet and greet April 5th that we're going to do at the smiling dog.
Yeah. So, so smiling dog came me up and said, Hey, let's do a Valentine's day, you know, deal. So we're doing a Valentine's day party for any and all, you know, who wanted to want to attend. And then we've got April 5th. We're doing a, like an actual risque meet and greet event, like a branded event. So when you look at that, you know, you say, okay, well, you know, we just did this party and then we've got onesie coming up and then you've got in between onesie, then you've got Valentine's Day, then you have Mardi Gras, then you have the meet and greet.
and you would think as a lay person or someone who doesn't dj well it's basically you just go and you always do the same thing well you could now i've heard that that some djs have sets in air quotes yeah so so the big like the big guys like the real real big guys the ones that are producers that also dj you know they get paid huge money to do one hour and they do the same exact set the same routine everywhere they go so they can do a set here one night fly to another city the next night do the same thing they set up over and over again and they just keep doing the same thing and they don't even they don't even bring equipment they just come with their flash drives right literally like they the the producers and the the venue set up the equipment and everything is ready for them knowing they walk on stage they plug their flash drives in and they just do their thing and they walk away with their flash drives and get on the next flight and go where they're going oh wow that's how that works that's not how this works you know when we when you talk about people like uh nathan bliss and life of spice and you know little old dj faves and others like us right and and them it's there's way more to it right because you're more deeply involved on the production side of it even if it's a small venue like for example the smiling dog but the preparation is uh typically i'm going to replicate what i did last time because that was great Thank you.
example, The Smiling Dog. But the preparation is typically, I'm going to replicate what I did last time because that was great. And then as you get closer to the day of the actual event, you get back into the same thing that made the last one great. You create a whole new playlist. Some of the songs you played are on it. Some of the ones you didn't play might be taken off. Some of the ones you didn't play might be added.
You start mapping it out in your head because you do have a sense of like what time of year is it who do you know is coming what do those people if you really know your people what do they like so there'll be times that i'll add in things that i typically would never play like uh mashups of morgan wallen country songs you know dropped on like hip-hop beats for example because there's cowgirls and new york's eve you're playing some cool stuff i heard some cool songs that there was a lot of moments like oh wow that's that's pretty neat that's a cool song yes and so you know when there's when the cowgirls are out there for example you know you kind of want to make sure that they hear long live cowgirls or something like that you know and you can make those things work because they do have a nice little bop to them so you can you can do that um one of the themes that look for example we're coming up with for a future party will be cowboys and aliens right we're gonna do this and if anybody hasn't seen the movie you should watch it right that's got daniel craig in it it's a dan.
That's exactly right. So, you know, I, and I'm already planning my costumes for this, right? So I know I'm going to dress up like a cowboy, but I'm going to have some really cool futuristic wristband, you know, laser zapper. My wife is going to love this. Oh, this is going to be sick. Right. So, but that means, you know, when you do a lifestyle party and you say the word cowboys, you know, women are showing up in Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots and crop tops and hat. So again, that's a set that's not just going to be the normal things you would typically play that people respond to.
You're going to start weaving in some of that neo country or some re you know, some mashups or remixes of older popular country songs.
So yeah, the preparation is always when it gets down to the last 48 hours before even a small party you really are like digging into your crates on your phone or in your tablet or your software and you're just pulling in the things that are the known knowns that you want to use we always have every dj's got a folder that's like the the party fixers right there are songs that if for some reason there's a if somebody wants to make an announcement and it just kills the dance floor for you in the moment you know because that happens right it's like oh we got to tell people something it only take a second and you know you do that for 30 seconds and your dance floor just gets a blur because whenever people make announcements at these things they never know how to succinctly say the words that they need to say and they just drones on as a person who does a lot of talking emceeing and stuff just say what the hell you need to say get the hell off stage right go just talk and go so every dj's got a folder of songs that they know for a fact that if the floor got a little busted they can play these songs or any one of the songs and suck it right back to life like literally i use that word and on purpose that was a point technical yeah i didn't want to you know i would say resuscitate and you know suck it back to life but uh but really no really it's true you know there's things that just absolutely are party fixers you know are party starters and they're they're used you know when you do wedding djing and you're kind of keeping it kind of trying to keep it low key while all the things that have to happen happen and then you know that okay it's time to put your foot on the gas there's that crate of you know that folder of music that you can go to and things are going to pop off so that's what you do when you plan these types of events even the small ones you get those things together you get a sense of what you want to play you want to always cater to the women as i told you once before you know i don't play for anybody when i play a lifestyle event than the women that's it but i noticed that because that vanilla thing that vanilla mardi mardi gras party we went to right you know they did the intro thing they did some talking and presented some some people they did the whole thing then they start playing music i'm so spoiled again by risque and spoiled by you and your musical choices and talents and picks and stuff because when they started playing like oh no no dj face would have done so much better.
This is just not. Like the first Thank you. your musical choices and talents and picks and stuff because when they started playing like oh no no fave dj face would have done so much better this is just not like the first five songs they played were line dances and then they played a slow song for slow dancing and then they start talking again well line dances are a staple among a lot of djs because you can get women to come to the dance floor when you play a line dance, right?
The trick with that technique though, is if you, if you extend it too far or you play the wrong sequence of line dances, you wind up getting the line dance women and then they leave, right? The trick is to find the songs that everybody enjoys and we'll make them dance together. And then you have to be able to segue out of that into something that'll keep them on the floor. A lot of DJs like to use a song like Juveniles Back That Ass Up. You got the line dancers up there. What do the guys do when the women line dance? They all get closer to the dance floor, right?
They do because they want to watch the women line dance.
They want dance and want to watch their line dance you know and then if you can do something out of that line dance that'll hold those ladies there just a tad bit longer then you can get the guys involved and now you've got a full-blown party on your hands and you can take it from there and it's kind of the way it works nope nope they went from line dancing like three it was three or four line dances yeah it's too much into a slow song for the couples to couple up and dance slow too and i'm spoiled i'm so spoiled by risk women look women will wag their they'll look at you and wag their hand like okay like that's enough line dancing that's enough dedicated cardio for a few minutes.
I fully admit I can't line dance. I can dance fairly decently. I can't line dance. I just don't have the coordination to pull off a bunch of moves with a bunch of other people, and I'm going to stand out and stick out really badly. I was just curious how you prepare for these things because you do have so many events coming up and getting ready for that. I know when I'm doing episodes and stuff, I just write it out. Thank you. So I was just curious how you prepare for these things, because you do have so many events coming up and getting ready for that.
And I know when I'm doing episodes and stuff, I just write it out. I get my idea, I get into the flow state. So super curious how you handle doing that, getting ready for all these things. I always start like you do with a blank piece of paper. That would be an empty folder. And then I start dragging in the tracks that I know I want to see in my face that night when I'm starting that first Friday night's party so that I can get a sense of where everybody is.
It's kind of like the way NFL coaches script the first few plays, you know, to kind of get a read on what's going on on both sides of the ball. You kind of have the same approach when you do the music. And that's so cool. watching you stand up there watching that watching you watch the crowd and match the energy and keep the keep the energy up or change the energy if you need to it's such a awesome thing if y'all ever go to parties watch the dj just stand off to the side and watch what they're doing it's fascinating stuff to see somebody doing their craft a a professional doing his craft.
It's wild, wonderful stuff. Fine. For sure. So there was something we talked about last time. We kind of touched on it a little bit. I want to get you back on to talk about some more. We're just taking a complete left turn here on topics. Being good ambassadors of the lifestyle. So I got a buddy. He's vanilla, but he listens to the show and he listens to, you know, he loves the episodes when you come on. He's like, man, that guy seems really cool. And I'm telling him, come to a party, come to an event, come to a meetup, come to something, you can meet them.
That's what, that's the feeling I want people to have, you know, from the show and from talking to you and stuff that it's okay to just come check it out there's no pressure people are gonna be nice to you and that was a juxtaposition with the vanilla thing we went to nobody talked to us i thought that was so damn alien to me as we go to all these lifestyle events everybody's friendly everybody's talking to us and saying hi and stuff and we go to vanilla thing i was looking good too i was looking sharp and i people you know coming up making compliment nothing no one said a damn word to us all night and that's such an alien thing now and i can see how for vanilla people it would be an alien experience to go to a lifestyle party where everybody's super nice to you no that that's that's absolutely right i think um you know again i think it's because it's funny most people who are in the lifestyle just didn't start that way they typically come out of the vanilla world like most of us have at some point in time and segue into this type of of hobby and, right?
And you just kind of along the way, you learn to develop a comfort level with socialization in a way that's very different than what you used to. Because typically in the vanilla spaces, it's almost, it's difficult to socialize with members of the opposite sex because of all the predisposed thoughts that people have in their mind about what your motive may be or why you're talking to someone who's a member of the opposite sex. They see a married woman talking to some guy and he happens to be, to them, an attractive guy or the vice versa. The guy's talking to some married female.
And in the vanilla space that that can be judged constantly there's a lot of question marks you know a lot of thought bubbles popping out of people's heads about what's going on over there people want that gossip yeah that gossip and they want to create stories in their head around this imaginary scenario and just fill in all the gaps with terribleness. Correct.
And that's not the case so it becomes a lot easier to be social you know just and it's a very it there's nothing to it necessarily even at the onset it's just a it's a very normal uh even keeled generic type of social that's easy for lifestyle people to engage in because they're not concerned about suffering all of that judgment that would come with being that social in that way in a vanilla space.
And it could be something as simple as a compliment or offering somebody to a drink or to get their coat or, you know, all these little small gestures that can be grossly misinterpreted in the vanilla space. That's not what's happening in the lifestyle space. And so it becomes easier for us to socialize and people who are not in the lifestyle, who are vanilla, and they watch us interact, it drives their curiosity about why we can navigate and move the way we do. And my brain's broken after doing all this lifestyle stuff. Now I find myself in vanilla spaces. I want to say hi.
I just want to walk up and stick my hand out, shake her hand and say, hi, I'm Jason. And then I got to dial it back. It's like, no, they're going to think that's weird. They're not going to like that.
Or I gonna like that or i got my wife holding my arm actually no no no we're not making friends tonight right you got it exactly so um yeah no i get it and so that's how you know i think instinctively uh seasoned lifestyle people do inherently become really good stewards of the lifestyle just from having that experience and that comfort level with navigating social environments in a way that is just very easy and it's not effortful.
I'm the jackass because if we go to the lifestyle thing and I see the newbie couple that I don't recognize, I can always tell who they are because they're always sitting off to the side. They got their arms crossed. They're kind of just taking it out.
I'm going to go just gonna walk up hi i'm jason nice to meet you what's your name where you're from nice first time here i'm just it's just nature now to introduce myself to people because i want people to feel welcome in these spaces i feel so welcome that i want to share that with other people yeah it's it's a great feeling and it's you know it's certainly um it's a it's a form of currency so to speak that feeling of being welcome becomes like a a lifestyle currency that you want to pass on and and distribute to others and i've even seen you at parties because you'll after you're done dj and you're still out there on the dance floor yeah saying hi to, dancing with people, having a good time with people.
And that interaction, because they just saw you up on stage doing your thing, and now you're down here with us, that means a lot to people too. Yeah, I never thought about it that way. And that's true. That is how I operate. I do stand up. I get in early, get soundcheck done, handle my production part of the role. And then as the first DJ of the night, of course, that means I'm there longer. And then I do my three-hour set, and I don't leave immediately. I do stick around and dance to the other DJ's music and try to find people I don't recognize and go introduce myself to them.
Use themselves, you know, introduce them to my wife that's an important part of what i do and it just seems like it's the right thing to do it is and it goes so far in making people feel welcome and that's something i never want anybody to feel unwelcome i never want anybody to feel turned off by lifestyle spaces because look you don't have to do anything and people are not just being nice to you because they want to have sex with you that's an assumption we got to get rid of just as a community yeah a lot of people have that you know again that that's another one too that i guess i'm a bit ignorant towards because i never think about it that way because that's not how i function right so i never assume that that's what the motivation is on the other side of the equation not to say that you don't occasionally come across that i mean i've had a situation where um somebody came to a party and it wasn't a risque party it was it was another organization's another group social groups party and asked me a very vulgar question about how to hook up with people, you know the party and my answer to him was you you know he's basically he's like well how do you do how do you hook up with these people i'm like you don't that's a good answer i said you won't i said i highly doubt that you'll ever be invited back to one of these parties because of what you just asked me and the mentality that it takes for you to even form that question.
That was my response. And somebody, somebody heard me say this to the person. And I didn't know that at the time. And when the guy walked away and I started looking for the party organizer to, to give them the skinny on what was going on, I got stopped immediately by this person who was sitting nearby.
And they said, heard what you told that guy touche for you you had that takes a pair of balls to do that and i said no it's just how it is like i i come from an ecosystem that doesn't tolerate that kind of mentality and that type of i guess for lack of a better term aggression you know um, um, but my biggest issue with it wasn't the aggression. It was the sheer ignorance of it. That was just so, and I say ignorance, not in the, the true definition sense, but in the New Orleans sense of basically he's just a dumb ass, you know, like this, you're too stupid to even be in this room.
You need to be escorted off the premises immediately. But that's another thing we touch on. We've talked about this offline and private and talked about at events and stuff. We have a responsibility to manage our space. And yeah, there are people who are going to show up and they're not good fits. And as your wife taught me this term the other day, their outlook misaligns with our outlook. They're not in alignment with our particular outlook on things.
And picking on guys here, women can do it too, but mostly guys, they show up and they think, oh my God, it's just a free for all of touching and kissing and sucking and fucking and all this stuff. And it's not, man, there are some deep rules to this. And I've had to explain this to vanilla people. We got rules. We got rules of behavior, rules of etiquette, and the rules that we use to talk to each other. Right. And, you know, people, people being particularly vulgar, it ain't going to fly. If there's any advice I can give guys today, it's don't be vulgar.
You get so much further knowing how to be eloquent and knowing how to flirt like a gentleman. Because I can say some really, really sexual things to a woman and I make them sound good. Being particularly And that, that just doesn't fly. It's not a good look. A hundred percent. Couldn't, couldn't say it better. So you, you know, you get the gist of it.
And I think all of those things that we've touched upon, uh, basically culminate in the, the rule book, you know, of how to be a good lifestyle ambassador, a good steward of the lifestyle, to be representative of what all is great about the lifestyle and always, you know, avoiding the pitfalls of what isn't. I'm trying my utter best to put that out there in the community, trying to help codify or share some of this etiquette, some of these rules, some of the things I've observed. And like I say in the, you know, the outro to the episode, usually I'm just a guy with a microphone.
These are all things that I've experienced, things that I've seen. I want people to have a good time in the lifestyle. I want people to be here and I want people to know they're wanted. We have certain etiquettes for a reason. We have rules of consent for a reason to make sure women feel okay. And men too, mostly women make them feel okay with the situation that's around them. So yeah, those rules of etiquette are super important. And I tell all the newbies, you got to learn this stuff.
The faster you learn this stuff, the faster you are going to be accepted into the wider community because you know how to act right. Right. A hundred percent. I said that's spot on. Um, and I think, you know, all those, all those things together make for a really awesome environment with great connections, great experiences, great opportunity for all sorts of other things. Beyond things. Right.
I the opportunity is there it's just a matter of how you approach things and um and how the respect levels that you show people you know because we're all typically you know most of the the lifestyle type events that i'm involved in involve couples married people you know people who are not just dating as of last week you know these are relationships that have meaning and purpose and you want to be respectful of all of that along the way and that's really important and the outgrowth of of doing that and you know putting the because for some it's effortless i mean, but for those that it's effortful, that's not a problem.
When you put in the effort, you know, there's a great reward that comes from that in terms of the longstanding friendships you have, the types of experiences that you get to have with your partner. It really is, it's pretty beautiful stuff.
So what advice would you give to a brand new couple who wants to check out Ruske the first time so let's say they want to check out the mardi gras party for the first time what advice would you give them the advice i would give them would be to let somebody know that they're there like let the person who let the person who checks them in know this is our first time because they're very good at directing them to the owners and ambassadors and say, Hey, look, I just got these people checked in. They're new. This is their first party.
That's a great start right off the top because so many people are going to be willing to step in and give them some quality time, show them around, introduce them to people, explain the layout, you know, give them some of the written and unwritten rules of things, you know, get them to a comfort level where they don't feel like, because, you know, we talk about them being in the corner, sitting off to the side and watching.
We watch those people too right you know we notice them we notice i've noticed them because they they're noticing us from afar and we notice that right so not every uh every lifestyle person even with tons of experience is inclined to just walk up to a stranger though and say hello so you can't expect everybody to that, but you certainly can expect the people who are host couples and ambassadors to have the ability to do that.
Um, and so if they would let somebody know, Hey, this is our first, first day here, you know, that's really helpful because they will get directed to someone that can show them around and show them the ropes and get them a comfort level, you know, get them situated and not have them sitting off in the corner, you know, just kind of hanging out, waiting to see if anybody's going to approach them or say anything. Um, and then they don't have the fear of that.
That person approaching is approaching because they think that this is already a hookup, you know, they don't have to go through that anxiety either, you know, just get, get with a host couple ambassador and, you know, you get basically the VIP treatment for the night and get shown around and you can get a comfort level much more quickly that way. So I did something similar. We had an informal meetup a few weeks ago, probably 50, 60 people. And there was a new couple that had reached out through one of the sites and said, hey, we're coming. I was like, okay, cool.
I'm going to look out for you.
And when they showed up i made sure to say hi shake their hand say okay let me show you around let me introduce you to some people that i know and help you start making these connections and stuff and it was great because by the end of the night by the time we left they were hanging out talking to people and like well they're in good hands i'm going to bed that was my attitude yep absolutely but practicing practicing what i'm preaching over here because you know i am the guy at the event so we'll be like hi i'm jason let me go introduce you and show you around to people yeah you're really good at that you've done you've you've introduced me to a ton of folks you have oh i'll just grab people if you follow me around i'm just gonna grab people like hey do you talk to them yet what about that what about them no i love that it's been it's been great um that's my favorite part i think of the whole damn thing to be quite honest with you truly is is seeing people i've never seen and getting introduced to people i've never met you know ultimately getting to the part where you down you've down the road enough where you get to that that fateful question so how did y'all meet you know that kind of thing yeah and you get the stories those stories are my favorite like that's probably one of my favorite questions that emerges throughout the entire meet and greet process is how did you two meet you know that a couple is interested in you when they ask you that question you don't typically get asked that unless they're interested or they want to know your origin story of how you got into this that's that's a that's a tell look just to tell you all those little tips if a couple ask about your play style they they want to do stuff with you they want to they they're interested and if you're on a date and they won't go to a second location they're really interested right so it's often a little bit of useful advice absolutely absolutely you've got to put you put together a sort of lexicon of uh of stuff you know i'm sure i'm sure you're working on one actively i am so i'm working on a book just to plug that real quick.
It's called A Matter of Discretion. And it's all about discretion in the lifestyle because I see so many couples, they join the lifestyle, they make their profiles and stuff. And they always say discretion is important to us. What the hell does that mean exactly? And stopping for a minute, just think, what does discretion actually mean? How do you put discretion in place? How do you talk to your partner about it? What if, God forbid, you get outed? What are you going to do? And I've come across couples who have been outed.
I've come across couples who their discretion has been violated, for a better word. So asking myself, how do you deal with that?
And I know if I'm wondering about it, other people are wondering about it, people are wondering about it too so figuring all right screw it i'll just write a whole book about it put it all out there so i love it working on that while we're sitting here snowed in with my high chocolate i'm going to be cranking it out cranking out a couple thousand words tonight yeah while we're sitting here talking um about that when you pose the question like if a couple's come to a risque party for the first time you know what should they know or what will help them out you know being first timers and uh i saw that um the owner of risque rang my phone so i told him i said hey look i'll call you back i'm on a podcast right now.
He's like, Oh, okay. Jason's I'm like, yeah, I'm on Jason's. Awesome. Yeah. Well, what did you want? Cause I want to talk about Pulsify. That's a big deal. Yeah. It's going to be so much fun. I want people to know about this. It is, I dare say a one of a kind event. I don't know of anybody else doing anything like this on the Gulf Coast or on the beach anywhere. It's going to be a hotel takeover.
We're going to be able to party on the beach and it's beautiful beautiful down there gorgeous white sand beaches you got crab island right next door so our plan is we're going for a whole week we're going to be there all week just to make a whole vacation that makes total sense yeah i think that's a fabulous idea i think uh my wife was saying was saying that she's wanting to get down there Tuesday and stay through Sunday kind of thing. Yeah, make it a whole. And for me, the big selling point is, yeah, you get that resort experience without having to go to another country.
And pay those fees too because it's way more economical and it's still a beautiful, beautiful environment. Yeah, we can drive over there. It's within driving distance of a lot of places, Atlanta, Memphis, Nashville, all these places out there. Orlando, it's all within driving distance, New Orleans. So it's a good place. It is a very good option for everybody. No question, for sure. That's what I wanted to do. I want to plug that for. I appreciate that, yeah.
So, you know, for those that are listening or followers of the podcast, for certain, and you're regional to the Baton Rouge and New Orleans area, definitely look into coming out, you know, for Mardi Gras, for sure. Great party.
So Mardi Gras is March 21st, Friday night, and the Saturday, the the 22nd and then we all try to stumble our happy asses home on sunday that's always a terrible terrible thing waking up on the sunday after a risque party because you're hungover and you're tired and i gotta drive my happy ass a couple of hours home yeah it's rough i mean you could deliberately try to tank the music and get people to bed earlier but we just can't do that that's no no y'all just go till like 6 a.m yeah it's 1 30 in the morning and i just throw my hands up and say i'm done i'm done 4 a.m is an absolute and 6 a.m is is a commonality so you know we we definitely tend to go past four and can can push it all the way out to six with ease ease.
It starts at nine. So that's nine hours of partying that you can have for one low ticket price. Right. I know exactly. It's, it's a so much fun, man. We've been doing it now. Shoot. You know, we, we haven't missed a risque party since the first one we ever attended. And that was way back when in 2018. So we, we've been, we've been going for quite some time. That's awesome. I like it has the staying power and it's just growing. It's growing and it's getting better every year. The parties are growing. Like you say, New Year's Eve, you didn't expect a whole lot, but it was a whole lot.
It was a good 100, 200 people. I don't know if I don't count. Yeah, for sure. It was.
And it's good, it's good steady organic growth too so it's not an influx of a lot of unknowns because they're very diligent about making sure that people sign up on the website fill out all the paperwork answer all the questions then he communicates directly with those people before he even plugs them in and sells them tickets so it's uh it's pretty good story i totally respect his vetting process i feel safe there that's something i always tell people about these parties i feel safe yeah and i feel safe for my wife that i can go to the bathroom and she's safe she's okay you can't do that on vanilla nightclub you dare not leave your wife alone in a vanilla place no it's a lifestyle at risque i feel okay with that and to me that's a huge selling point for these risque parties and for lifestyle venues period that you know your wife will be respected yeah it's a big deal it's a big deal for sure huge deal so pulsify risque um yes pulsify i got i'm gonna have to i'm gonna get these names straight pulsify is the party in september but i'm by risque yes september 26th the 28th fort walton beach florida um you can find out information for all these parties at risque lifestyle parties.com if people want to find out more about you and connect with you because you're awesome and amazing sure yeah yeah so uh i i have a website it's dj fabes which is dj f a b z dot com um i'm on sdc as dj fabes i also have a group on sdc called wanderlust with an a wanderlust it's growing by leaps and bounds now it's only been around since september and we're closing in on 5 000 group followers yeah it's doing really really well uh people can find out about things that i'm djing uh just stuff about djing why i make certain music choices what's great for you know sets, what's great for partying, what's new.
It's just, yeah, just giving people insight. You know, I even talk about things like when people come up and I'm making requests, like what's the best time to actually approach a DJ, you know, here's some things to look for.
So you don't wind up getting a cold shoulder or getting blown off or pissing off the DJ, you know, just a variety of things so wanderlust that group is on sdc as well so you know the website is dj fabes djfabz.com then the uh the sdc account is by the same name and then the wanderlust group so they can find me that way and it's also on instagram you know i'm on instagram as well good deal man well thank you so much for hanging out with us thank you for hanging out with me on this cold ass day you're welcome my brother anytime i'm gonna go play in the snow good conversation good topics uh you know and i'll keep listening as well because i keep track of the show so it's great i appreciate it man thank you so much wonderful thank you to everybody out there y'all have a wonderful day.
Try to stay warm. Go get some hot chocolate. And remember, bikini season is just around the corner. Bye, everybody. You betcha. Bye-bye.
