Talking to Sol about a weird problem

Transcript

Speaker1: good morning good afternoon good evening everybody this is jason i am your host of that other lifestyle podcast let's leave vanilla behind as we dive into the wild wild world of the lifestyle i need to share a personal story and today i have the wonderful beautiful lovely soul with us because I reached out to her because I ran into a very strange problem. And I reached out to her and I was like, I need help on this. And I went to who I think is just one of the best healers, mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, the best healers out there. so i had to go running to seoul to get some help with this issue um just to set the stage just a hey hey soul let me say hi hi darling i'm just jumping right into it so thank you so much for hanging out with me today um for having me so i'm going to share my personal story um something that happened to me last week really weird really bizarre but hey there might be other people out there with the same thing um and as you know we were talking and stuff like this this is really good stuff we need to share with everybody to share my personal story last week i had something very strange happen to me i developed swallowing anxiety swowing. And I know a bunch of perverts are thinking about cum and it's not that. I developed this weird anxiety about just swallowing period. Like just the best way to describe it is I just couldn't do it. My body would not physically swallow, couldn't swallow food, barely could swallow liquid. It was the weirdest thing. And to set this all up, I've choked before a couple of times in my life. And y'all, if you ever choked before, like legitimately choked, it is fucking terrifying. It is a terrifying feeling. And you just hope that somebody's around to slap you on the back. I went to the doctor. They did a scope. Everything physically was fine with me. That's what told me this was like 100% mental. Somehow, weirdly enough, I developed this mental block around swallowing food. And it had to do with a sensation. You know that sensation of when you have food in the back of your throat? Most people never even notice this. For some reason, that sensation sent me into a fight or flight or flee response. Like my body is like, nope, we're not doing this. We are not doing this. And what really sucks for me is I'm like 207 pounds of pure fucking muscle that I've worked many years in the gym to get. So I refuse to lose this. I'm going to eat some damn food. Working through all of this, you know, you go online, you start reading all these websites. They terrify the hell out of you. But I, you know, maybe it comes back to some kind of general anxiety. Maybe it comes back to some kind of trauma response. I'm like, I, I need to go find help on this. And the best person for me to turn to is my good friend, wonderful soul who deals with physical bodily trauma, granted different body parts and stuff, but you know, it's really wild stuff. So that's kind of setting up the story of this episode and how we got to this point. And I'm talking to Sol today about the way our bodies respond to trauma, previous trauma, whatever it may be, the story behind that and how we can go about reprogramming our bodies. And that's how I ended up here. Hey, that's my whole story. Hey, soul. Hi, darling. I'm so happy to be here. Delighted. I always love chatting with you. And thank you. Thank you for reaching out. It's always an honor. And these things happen in our lives. And if we suppress them and we don't take notice of them, then they can really manifest into something much greater that we may not necessarily need to be dealing with. So I'm so happy that you reached out and we can work through it and help you and share with the world different spaces and places to take things that maybe they're working through. Right. That's what I wanted to share. I was like, well, if I'm dealing with this weird problem, there might be somebody else out there dealing with something similar because different trauma responses manifest different ways in our bodies. And the work that you do with women in particular, helping women deal with previous traumas, be it physically, mentally, sexually, however, I thought you were just the perfect person to come out here and help me. Physically, everything's fine. And as far as anxiety goes, I'm not really an anxious person. I'm super chill. I'm chill, Jason. You don't see a whole lot of emotion because I'm just a chill person. So then you get into maybe a subconscious anxiety. Maybe I got too much stuff going on. Or as we were talking before the episode, physically, I have this issue, which just to tell everybody has gotten so much better in the past week. Oh my God, it's so much better. I was able to eat out last night, figured out coping strategies of like, whenever my body gets in that fight or flight response, I start flapping my arms. Totally normal thing to do. Just flap your arms while you're eating. Flap your arms like a bird. That's great. Just it gets rid of that. It gets rid of that fight or flight. You got to put it into something kinetic and physical. So that helps me make progress with this. And I'm doing a lot better. I am. But I want to reach out to Sol because this is it. This is her thing. This is talking about dealing with these trauma responses. And yeah, this swallowing, it is a trauma response. I've choked before and I was eating some popcorn. It got stuck in my throat and that really started getting the subconscious brain going. Oh my God, you're going to die. It's like, no, if not, I'm eating popcorn, chill the hell out. But my body didn't take it that way. And I know with a lot of things we encounter in our lives, the trauma that we go through leaves a fingerprint. It leaves a mark on our mental state, on our souls that we have to work through. Yeah. Oh, it's so true. And Jason, it's interesting because you are such a chill individual. You have yourself put together. You are a quiet being in your body, that you're not an anxious, uptight, wound up person. Interestingly, when things happen to our bodies, it does leave exactly what you were saying. It leaves a mark, it leaves an imprint, it leaves a blueprint on a cellular level. And these things can manifest years and years and years later, and they can come up in ways that we never even imagined. For example, in your scenario right now, you have a past history of choking that was incredibly traumatizing to you. You felt like you were dying. And it was a really deeply impactful event that took place in your life. Now, when these things, we never know what's going to trigger us and we never know what trauma response our body is going to have. Mine was popcorn. It was popcorn. How many times in your life have you eaten popcorn like popcorn. So interesting. Interesting. That's when we go. That's when we go deeper. And we really start getting into the root cause of why that popcorn because obviously you're not afraid of popcorn. Your body knows that popcorn is a treat and popcorn is delicious. And every time you eat popcorn, you chew it, you swallow it, you live and you have another bite and it's delicious and it's fun. And so somewhere there is a miscommunication with your body and your nervous system between this trauma response of I'm eating popcorn and my body is triggered and my body is going into a trauma response of this popcorn is going to kill me. Right now, they're extreme measures, but this is how our brains and our bodies think. Our brains have not necessarily evolved to the space of where our physical bodies are and our brains still take us into the fight, flight, freeze response, which is our body's survival technique for when it feels threatened, right? So your body was telling you in a sense that you were going to die and in order to protect your body, your body needed to go into fight, flight, or freeze. So now as a after effect of that, now your body's having a trauma response to swallowing, the simple act of swallowing. I know. And it's such a basic thing. You have to do it. You have to swallow, like as in many times a day. You actually do it on average, like six times a minute and you don't realize it? I'm going to ask you if you knew. I mean, that's a lot. That's a lot of times per day. And when you're having a trauma response and an anxiety around that, that's a lot to be thinking about every single day. And it was one of those things of having to force myself to swallow, having to drink a lot of water, having to figure out these different, okay, making my body more comfortable with this and trying to figure out the right way to say it is, you know, when it started happening, I couldn't really eat. It was just, it could knock it down. Okay, fine. I can have water. water is okay and just drinking water and re-acclimating myself to the sensation and at one point i was you know my wife god bless her she was sitting there having dinner with me and she looks over at me and i'm flapping my arms wildly and i'm wiggling my feet and stuff and she's like what are you doing i said and I finished eating. I was like, well, the sensation of food in the back of my throat is what triggers this. And I was sitting with a sensation. I was just sitting there with it, showing my body that this is okay. We're okay. And the reason I learned that is because I work out a lot and I've hurt myself in dumb ways. And a lot of times to help recover, you lean into the pain, you stretch into it, you lean into the pain, our bodies will adapt, they will adjust, they'll learn that this is not a dangerous thing, it's just confronting. And that's just the way I handle a lot of things, just confront it, confront the pain, deal with it because on the other side, it's going to get better versus trying to retreat from it. And a lot of people who have this particular issue, swallowing anxiety, they go extreme, they go to liquid diets and they do all these things to avoid the trigger versus facing the trauma. That's how that's how I, that's how I've been dealing with it. And of course that, you know, then sparked, I need to talk to you because in what you do with the healing spaces, that's a lot of what you do. And that's, you know, that's why I called you is we need to go talk to soul. It's a lot of what we do. And, you know, interestingly, you used the word avoidance. And so here's something. Here is a really key thing that happens around our bodies, no matter what level of trauma we have dealt with. Every human on the planet, most likely, has dealt with some form of trauma. Our bodies remember that. And so we go through our human experience and because trauma is painful, we often avoid. And so that is under the same, the same construct of suppressing or suppression. And so we suppress these emotions and we suppress these feelings which over time build up as more sort of like a volcanic explosion of trauma and so interestingly as women so i'm gonna i'm going to jump i'm gonna jump right over into uh feminine and being a woman oh you do that segue you do that segue i wouldn't do that segue. We're just going right into being a woman. A lot of the work that we do around women and women healing is reprogramming our nervous systems. So I come from a background of Tantra and Ayurveda and yogic philosophy and a lot of the Middle Eastern traditions, if you will, in holistic healing and holistic wellness. And I work as a nutritional guide. I go multi-layer in the facets of healing. And then there's also a large energy component around that. Within this space of being a woman, we carry every single emotion, good, bad, negative, happy, sad, traumatic, elated. We carry that in our womb space. We carry that in our female organs. We carry that in our yoni. We carry it in our hips. And these areas are the gateway. So our yoni, our vagina, is the gateway to our most erotic pleasure and our highest elation of self energetically and the freedom of our expression. Basically, our yoni is the gateway, the door, the key into our highest, most expansive sexual expression of self. When these areas are blocked, what happens is as women, our orgasm may not be there or our orgasm is light or non-existent. What is happening is there's a suppression. There is a blockage and it's a trauma response. Your female, your female parts are telling you that in order to stay safe, you have to suppress, you have to block these responses. You're not safe to express yourself in your fullest sexual expression. Which is exactly what my swallowing anxiety was, my body's trauma response. Trauma response. Saying, no, I don't want to do this because it's dangerous in me having to reprogram my body and my subconscious of, no, this act is okay. You need to do this. You've done it your entire life. You know how to do it. Just do it. Calm the hell down. And we can do it. And interestingly, we can have these responses on any part of our bodies. These can manifest anywhere in our body. And for you, this throat anxiety, the swallowing anxiety, that is in direct relation on an energetic level of your throat chakra, right? And so there's a deeper, we'll go into the JC. All the different chakras. Jason and soul. Yes. The Jason and soul will go deeper into that. That's a whole other episode. But for today, the root of what you have experienced and then within the work that I do with women is indirect relation. It's a trauma response. It's a trauma response to suppressing a trauma and emotion, something that has taken place over the course of the history of your human experience, and it's manifesting into a trauma response, which also triggers the fight, flight, or freeze, which is the survival of the human container. And when we're working with women, for example, and a woman comes to me and says, soul, I am having, I'm having a really hard time orgasming. Okay. Right. Let's go there. Let's go there because women want to orgasm. Women, men want their women to orgasm. That is the highest expression of your sexual self. And that is, that is freedom for a woman. That is power for a woman. That is her being in her divine essence as a woman. Risqué means slightly indecent or liable to shock, especially by being sexually suggestive. Risqué Lifestyle throws the premier lifestyle parties and takeovers in the southern USA that is slightly indecent, liable to shock, and very sexually suggestive. Risqué parties provide a safe, fun environment for new couples, experienced couples, and everyone in between. The dance floor is open all night long with awesome DJs and the best sound system. They go above and beyond to host a party that you will be telling all your LS friends about for months. The next Risqué party is, of course, Halloween, October 25th, 26th in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Wear your best, sexiest, wildest costumes and party till dawn. Go to RiskyLifestyleParties.com to find more information. When a woman comes to me and says, I'm having a struggle orgasming or my orgasm isn't as full as I would like. I know there's more. It's just, it feels like it's just touching the surface. It doesn't feel like it's full body and I don't feel, I don't feel a great release from it. Right. Then that's when we really go deep into the reprogramming of the nervous system? And a practice, and this is something that I want to share with our audiences today, is there is a practice around this that is very simple. And this comes from ancient tantric wisdom. And this is around bringing pleasure into your nervous system and And it's teaching your nervous system, you're reprogramming your nervous system to experience something within you that is painful, and it's replacing it with pleasure. Now, interestingly, tantra is, a lot of people think that uh tantra is is this is this elation of pleasure right it's it's sex it's orgies it's seven hours of sex just getting it and all the positions right so so that is more like New Age Tantra. The actual root of Tantra and the ancient wisdom that we derive these practices from, Tantra is actually truth. And so in order to find this deep pleasure and this love and this elation, one must first find truth. And so that takes work. That takes practice. We have to peel back the layers to find our truth. And a lot of times our truth is masked, if you will. It's layered by layers of trauma, by layers of programming and conditioning that we have. When we say, when we say trauma, I do want to clarify, like I, I, I had a choking incidents, a couple of them. That's a physical trauma that just screwed up my head, but trauma can occur from a lot of different places. It's not just physical. And I know y'all are thinking about some really extreme examples of trauma. That's not all encompassing of trauma. It could be the way you were brought up as a kid and being ashamed of your body or certain beliefs that you were taught that really don't fit what you're feeling now. All of those encompass the word trauma or just using it as a umbrella term, I guess you could say. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Good, good preface there because right. We're not working right now with deep, deep seated trauma that needs, you know, a history of bad sex. You know, it's there's a lot of layers to trauma. I, there are parallels to, I had a physical trauma incident that caused this reaction in my body. There's other kinds of trauma that can happen to people, whatever the case may be. That's right. And when we move through our human experience and these things become unresolved, they become unresolved in our body. And as women, these become unresolved in our yoni, in our womb space. These are things, all of these pieces of our human experience, if you will, all of the puzzle pieces that make us who we are, these all are in our yoni. They're in our womb space. They're in the constructs of the female sex organs. We have to be able, we have to be taught, we have to practice how to release them so that we be in our full expression of our non-anxious self, our full expression of our sexuality, our full expression of our sensuality, our full expression of our being, truly, you know, truly are the essence of who we are. When I'm working with women who are challenged or having a struggle around this, it is about the reprogramming. And this is something that is going to be so simple for you, Jason, which is this practice that I want to teach our audience, because everybody can do this. Everybody can do this. And everybody has something that they would like to reprogram within themselves. They may not be having a visceral trauma response right now. However, there's something within them that, for example, strikes up fear, or there's something within them that causes them anxiety or there's something within them that, for example, strikes up fear, or there's something within them that causes them anxiety, or there's something within them that keeps them from stepping into their worth, right? Like there's something within every human being that could use a little tender loving care and some reprogramming, if you will. I don't care how epic you are as a human. There's something there that would love. Something you need to work on. Some part of yourself that needs love. You need to love yourself. Something needs a little love. Something. And you can figure out something. When we reprogram our nervous system to feel pleasure, that is when we start to reprogram the nervous system trauma response. So for example, in your case right now, your body is having a trauma response to past history of trauma within your body that it remembers as in happening, it remembers as if it's happening now of choking. It doesn't matter if it was a decade ago, if it was 20 years ago, your body is remembering those experiences for you as if they were taking place right now. It's scarred. It's a scar. It's a mental scar. It really is. And that's what happens with these experiences as a human. They become imprints on our body. They become imprints on a cellular level. And as humans, our cells regenerate. So we have to clear that out and reprogram that so that it doesn't continue to grow. It releases from our body. Here's a very simple practice that I teach our women around reprogramming our nervous system to experience pleasure and release the pain, right? Because with pleasure, there is pain. We're releasing something. It doesn't always have to be painful. And you hope that it isn't super painful. But when we're releasing trauma, often it is. When you can bring pleasure to that pain, that's what we're reprogramming. So for you and for women that I work with, we bring pleasure, which is orgasm. Pleasure is self-pleasure, right? It's masturbation. It is touching your body in a way that's sensual, that's sexual, that is pleasurable, that brings joy and love and light, peace and grace and ease into your physical human container. What I teach women is to have and adopt a self-pleasure practice and bring those pleasure spaces into what is painful. So if there's a block around orgasm, it's going a bit backwards. So the goal, for example, isn't necessarily having an orgasm. It's finding pleasure. It's finding pleasure in the pain. It's finding pleasure in the moment and surrendering into it and allowing whatever bubbles up, whatever percolates, whatever releases to release. And eventually what comes forward because you're releasing what comes forward is orgasm, which is pleasure, which is elation. For you, the practice is now that your body is having this response, this visceral response, it is to bring pleasure into the actual physical act of eating and drinking and swallowing. What the invitation is around this is to, for example, bring yourself the most pleasurable food imaginable for you. So name- Barbecue. Barbecue. Okay. Brisket. Barbecue. Brisket. Barbecue. Love the brisket. Barbecue. Okay. so the practice is going to be, you're going to sit down with your beautiful wife and you are going to dine on a meal of barbecue brisket. You know in your brain that the barbecue brisket brings you pleasure. You know that that sensation, the smell, the touch, the texture, right? Like, you know, know that that sensation the smell the touch the texture right like you you know the texture that you like that's the touch sensation the sight of it brings saliva to your mouth you can see it and you start you start saliva starts to just salivating salivating engulf your mouth. And so you've got your taste, you have your touch, you have your smell, and now you're going to actually bring those pleasure points of that brisket into your physical being. You're going to taste it. And you're going to say to yourself, as you are bringing this food into your body, you're going to say, this food brings me pleasure.