Welcome to that other lifestyle podcast! Join your host, Jason, as he dives into the exciting world of group activities within the lifestyle. This episode is all about Or Gees—covering protocols, etiquette, and how to find them. Get ready to leave vanilla behind and explore the dynamics of group fun with your closest friends. Jason provides valuable insights on what to expect, how to prepare, and the importance of consent. Whether you're a newbie looking to dip your toes or a seasoned participant, you'll find useful tips and advice to enhance your experience. Don't miss out on the exciting updates, including the launch of the Single Men's Guide to the Lifestyle course and the announcement of National Lifestyle Week in June 2025.
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Transcript
Speaker1: good morning good afternoon good evening wherever you are i hope you have blue skies welcome to that other lifestyle podcast i am your host jason leave vanilla behind as we dive into the lifestyle let's talk about group activities the kind of activities that involve five or six or ten of your very closest friends and beds and hours of fun we're talking about Thank you. group activities. The kind of activities that involve five or six or ten of your very closest friends and beds and hours of fun. We're talking about orgies today. The protocols, the etiquette, how to find them, and what are they really like. Want to dip your toes into the lifestyle? You can find a link to sign up for a trial account of SDC on my website, thatotherlifestyle.com. I also have a Patreon, patreon.com slash thatotherlifestyle, where I share useful knowledge and guides to help everyone in the lifestyle. Please know this podcast is intended only for adults. It is not safe for work. We will talk about adult or sexual topics, and I'm going to use salty language often. This content is for entertainment purposes only, and again, only for those over 18 years of age. I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can. It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance. For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife or partner or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I'm sharing. This podcast is for everyone, though, no matter your background, gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living. Everyone is welcome no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy. Before we get to the group activities talk, I need to share some exciting news with everyone. The Single Men's Guide to the Lifestyle course is now live. Go to my website thatotherlifestyle.com for more information. This course distills everything a single man needs to know to be successful in the lifestyle. I will tell you how to join the lifestyle, navigate meeting couples, how to get better at sex, how to dress better, how to stand still at a party and have women come to you. Over eight hours of videos and guides, actual guides, like real stuff you can read. I even have a shopping list in there for what men need when they're hosting a couple or a sex party at their home. It can take you from zero knowledge to a lifestyle legend by the end of it. Again, thatotherlifestyle.com. And another big update, National Lifestyle Week is coming, y'all. Next year in June 2025, june 2025 thousands of lifestyle couples will descend on las vegas in the biggest lifestyle convention ever three hotel takeovers private pool parties and all the fun that vegas offers more details are coming so stay tuned for that so since i have completely given up on being monetized by any major streaming platform because oh no i talk openly honestly about sex and sexual education and the lifestyle without the use of carefully coded Let's get started. given up on being monetized by any major streaming platform because, oh no, I talk openly, honestly about sex and sexual education and the lifestyle without the use of carefully coded language. Fuck it, let's talk about orgies. I cannot stand having to censor myself to appease a streaming platform or an algorithm. I don't want to use coded language because one, we're all adults here, and if you are not an adult listening to this show, please stop. Go outside, touch grass. This show ain't for you. And two, I cannot have an honest discussion with you, the audience, if I am forced to use coded language. The meaning of my words and ideas can get lost in translation and that shit doesn't help anyone. So again, fuck it. Let's talk about orgies. As I was researching this episode and I did do some outside research, did Google searches and look through message boards and read articles and stuff, I have attended orgies. They are awesome, but I want a wider perspective on this one. And I found in a few places that the term orgy is now considered out of fashion, and the more accepted term is sex party or play party. I might throw those into the episode for diversity of terms, but y'all, we're talking about orgies. Do not complicate this by giving it an ambiguous or fuzzy name. No, the word orgy right here is appropriate. It has the perfect connotations that are just spot on. So what is an orgy in this context? We are talking about multiple people engaging in sexual acts with each other as opposed to a gang bang which is usually one person engaging with multiple people or even a train which is one person engaging in sexual activities with multiple people in a set order no my friends orgies are free-for-alls of sexual expression and lust exploding in a symphony a beautiful erotic cosmic awareness. I'm a big fan if you can't tell. There are other types of play parties out there like BDSM gatherings or specific fetish play that I think fall outside, at least for me, the definition of a true orgy. They're their own thing in their own right. Orgy for this discussion means a group of people having sex with each other. And there seems to be this nebulous definition online of at least four people engaging in activities together. I don't consider a foursome an orgy. I think an orgy must have at least five participants as that opens the door for one person to have sex with multiple partners versus a foursome where you just might be like swapping spouses. Play parties for us today is a gathering of lifestyle people who will engage in sex with multiple people in a span of time, I guess. Look, you know what I'm talking about and if your personal definition doesn't fall in line with mine, that's okay. We can all still learn together. For our vanilla audience who are now curious, yes, orgies do happen. They occur in the lifestyle. Sex parties do happen. Often. Everywhere. There could be an orgy happening right now, right behind you. Hurry. Look. Nah, you just missed it. Like everything else in the lifestyle, yes, they happen. They're not as prevalent as you may think as finding couples that all sync up and are willing to have sex with each other. That's the hard part. Like really hard actually. Are orgies anything like they are portrayed in porn? Kinda? Maybe. Not really. Yes, there is multiple people having sex in a room, but it is way more complicated than portrayed in porn. You don't see the discussions that occur beforehand. You don't see what happens when someone says or is told no. You don't see people taking a fucking water break. That's all creative editing. Do lifestyle people announce that there is an active sex party going on inside their home with pineapples on the front porch? No, are you fucking crazy? These are private parties that we do not want random people off the street barging in on. To debunk the myths, because I have to do that a lot, lifestyle people do not actively advertise what we do or what we are doing to the vanilla world. Full stop, we do not. We are a civilized people who send proper invites to our parties and orgies just happen when the critical mass of horny has been reached. Before we dive too far into this topic, I need to share a vital piece of advice. If you are a newbie and you think, yes, I would like to participate in an orgy, that sounds amazing. I want to do this. If you're considering joining an orgy, either spontaneous or planned, and I'm going to talk about the difference between those later, you need to be comfortable saying no. This is supremely important that you have the ability and the capability and the comfort to say no. Simple and polite, just no. You may be approached by a person at an orgy that you do not feel particularly attracted to. It happens. You need to be able to say no. Don't just mumble a yes or be polite or spare their feelings. No matter the situation, you are still in full control of your body and who you share it with. Orgies are high-pressure environments, but no amount of pressure from outside should ever make you do something that you do not want to do. Again, if you want to take part in an orgy, be comfortable saying no going into the event. I get the appeal of orgies. Ten naked bodies waiting in anticipation. Three women begin the party by piling onto a mattress in the middle of the floor. There is always a mattress in the middle of the floor. It's like standard orgy decorations. Three ladies exploring each other. Then a fourth one joins in. The men circle the action. One of the ladies breaks away and grabs a man that is not her husband. They descend to the floor, moaning and entangling. Another woman breaks away and grabs another man. The room fills with a heady scent of sex. There are ragged pants of pleasure and then a crescendo as one woman hits her peak and breaks. Then another woman falls into the throes of ecstasy. Waiting for this signal, the pile of women breaks apart to find their own receptive partners to continue this cycle of fun. The room becomes humid between the sweat and heavy breathing, the air thick with the scent of human lust made manifest. That is a great description right there. Orgies are super fun. It is a very popular fantasy. This image of naked people all just fucking in a room, getting hot and sweaty, switching partners. It, I will admit, is a great image and fantasy. But what is the truth in this fantasy? As someone who has taken part in orgies, I want to separate the fantasy from the truth of the situation. Yes, there will be multiple people having sex with each other. For some reason, y'all, girl piles just tend to form. Four or five women just playing together, and then couples start to splinter off together. So yeah, still two people having sex versus like threesomes or foursomes, that does happen too. As I say all this, I realize there is no set formula for an orgy. Just find a receptive person and get to it. Orgies are not free-for-alls though. Even in an orgy, there are still unspoken rules and etiquette for the situation. All the unfun conversations that porn excludes from those carefully edited videos. Even in an orgy, you do not have blanket consent to engage with every naked person in the room without first asking for permission. There is hesitancy in newbies about joining orgies, which I totally understand. They think they will be expected and or forced to have sex with everyone in the room. That's not the case, or it should not be the case. No one should ever force you to do something you were not comfortable with in the lifestyle. You can still say no. Remember, I told you, you had to be comfortable saying no. That's where this comes in. There will be people in the room that you may not be attracted to, and that is okay. You are allowed and okay to say no to an interaction. You don't have to provide justification. I recommend being polite at least, but yeah, you can just flat out say no. And the host of the event will be there to help you say no if needed. Hopefully I'd been talking to one out of doing an orgy and you are still interested. So next question, how do I find an orgy? Not on Reddit, not on social media. There is a super common scam out there.
Speaker2:
Thank you. So next question. How do I find an orgy? Not on Reddit. Not on social media. There is a super common scam out there. A nefarious person will make a post that says they are planning an orgy at a local hotel in your area, guaranteeing hot women and hot action. They won't provide any details or a location until you pay money. And then they take your money and they're gone. Do not go to orgies you find on social media. This is a bad idea. No legitimate party organizer would ever ever put out an all-welcome invite on social media for a sex party. It does not happen. It is a bad idea for you to go to these. Maybe a regular non-sexual meetup at a public venue like a bar. Yeah, but not a sex party, y'all. Think about it. No, a party host is not going to invite random people to a party, especially a sex party. This is a scam. Do not fall for it. So where can you find them? If it's usually within your own tribe, word of mouth, or sex clubs. If you're a part of a social group or a tribe, as I like to call them in the lifestyle, see what's out there. Go talk to people, and you can totally organize your own orgy. You are fully empowered to do so. Find four or five couples, make sure everybody clicks with each other, and get at it. There's also word of mouth. There are couples out there in the wide world who throw regular orgy parties, whatever the frequency they do. Granted, they don't advertise these events. There is and definitely should be a vetting process and the host couple has the final say on who can attend. So ask around. You might be surprised what is out there in just your local area. The last method, go to a sex club. There are pros and cons to this. Pro, you will probably have good odds of stumbling into some kind of group activity, but you probably will not know anyone else participating in that group activity. If you're looking for anonymous sex with strangers, this method totally works. It goes counter to my own ideas about safety and consent, but you do you, boo. Commercial break. Risk A means slightly indecent or liable to shock, especially by being sexually suggestive. Risk A lifestyle throws the premier lifestyle parties and takeovers in the southern United States. That is slightly indecent, liable to shock, and very sexually suggestive. Look, we go to every risque party, me and my wife, and we love them. The hosts provide a safe, fun environment for new couples, experienced couples, and everyone in between. The dance floors open all night long with awesome DJs who can get everyone dancing. And risque has the best sound system in the southern u.s they go above and beyond to provide an event that you will be talking about for weeks and you will be recommending to all of your ls friends and the themes where can we party till 4 a.m with hundreds of our lifestyle friends that is affordable welcoming and gives us a us a reason to dress up, nowhere except at a risque party.
Speaker1:
Whether it's a party in Lafayette, Louisiana, or a two-day hotel takeover in Baton Rouge, or a night of naughtiness in Texas, risque is worth the trip no matter where you are. Go to risquelifestyleparties.com for more information. Tell them that that other lifestyle sent you, and I will see you at the next one. All right, back to the show. Let's say you find an orgy. Someone in your local tribe is planning a sex party and you are graced with an invite. Maybe a nice handwritten note with that fancy calligraphy and like a ribbon and a wax seal are more likely it's going to be a text message. But wait, that is for a planned sexy party. Yes, spontaneous orgies on the other hand, they happen to. Bunch of horny people get together and horny activities ensue. For example, in sake of my story, I'm going to talk about like going to a planned orgy though. So you're going to invite to an orgy next weekend at a friend's house. What kind of prep do you need to do? What do you bring? What do you wear? I got you. Prepping for an orgy. We need a hoe bag. What goes in your hoe bag? What is a hoe bag? A hoe bag is a small bag, like a makeup bag or something that has all the supplies you need for when you do some hoe shit. For an orgy, get a backpack, because we're going to be bringing more stuff than we bring on a normal date. A ho backpack, a ho pack, if you will. Because unlike a date with another couple or a single person, you're just going to need a lot more stuff. First thing to go in your bag, bring a change of clothes. Yes, you will arrive in some sexy street clothes maybe and then you change into lingerie. By the end of the night, you're naked and you're exhausted, covered in sex juices. Your jaw is sore. Your tongue is raw. Your genitals are aching. Bring comfy clothes to go home in like a baggy t-shirt and shorts and flip-flops kind of comfortable. And standard for any hoe bag is, condoms. Bring a bunch. How many do you have? Double it. Condoms are like firewood. You gather all the firewood you think you need and then you double it. The host may or may not provide them, so you need to have your own supply. I say it a lot. I say a lot. I mean a lot. Like at least 10 or 20. Big number because you really don't know how many people you're going to have sex with at night. Men should always change condoms between partners and having a big supply gives women a lot more control over being safe. Wet wipes are good for quick cleanup, including the face. Things get weird. Don't look at me like that. Men, when you change condoms between partners, it's also a good idea to give your downstairs a wipe as well. I recommend feminine wipes. They are discreet. They're small. They tend to be unscented. Yes, there are dedicated like manly wipes. I ain't saying the name of them because it's dumb. Big manly wipes that are ginormous out there. It's the size of a washcloth. The issue though is they always seem to have a fragrance like cool mint or winter breeze or some shit. And that scent can transfer to the lady parts and that can cause discomfort. Bring lube. You always need more lube than you think. And breath mints are a good addition too. And one more thing for men. Delay spray. I don't talk about this enough, but I really should. Delay spray is exactly what it sounds like. It is a spray that you put on your penis to delay ejaculation. You're at this party to fuck it out, not get off. So imagine you're playing baseball. The coach tells you, you need to hit a home run in the first inning, so you knock it right out of the park. Then the coach tells you that you need to do it every inning, and today's going to be a double header. Delay spray helps keep you in the game. If you elect to use delay spray, I recommend a brand called Promescent. P-R-O-M-E-S-C-E-N-T. This ain't a sponsor mentioned, but this is a really good product. The issue with a lot of delay sprays is that the numbing effect
Speaker2:
Thank you. R-O-M-E-S-C-E-N-T. This ain't a sponsor mentioned, but this is a really good product.
Speaker1:
The issue with a lot of delay sprays is that the numbing effect can be transferred to a woman or other body parts that you're enjoying yourself with. And if she goes numb and you're numb, then y'all two are just slapping numb body parts against each other. Promescent, to their credit, does not transfer to other humans. If you put on a spray and then you put on a condom, you should be good to go. Hydration is important too. A good host will provide water and sports drinks, but you may want to bring your own stash. Potentially, you could be having sex for up for one to four hours. Yeah, that's a realistic estimate estimate like one to four hours of heavy cardio and also bring whatever dick pills you use i got a weird recommendation here for your hoe bag an ice pack so hear me out ladies if you have been engaging in physical activities for a long time an ice pack might provide some relief down there yep Yep, in that general area. And I shouldn't have to say it, but I will. Take a shower before you go to the party. So we got our ho pack and we are now going to the party. Nerves are on edge. Anxiety, expectations, all these emotions floating through the air. That might be the most awkward damn car ride y'all ever take together.
Speaker2:
To take the edge off,
Speaker1:
you and your spouse need to discuss your operating rules for the party. Will you only play as a unit, as in one couple breaking off with another couple? Are you both free to do as you please with whoever you want? What are the boundaries y'all are setting for yourself, for your spouse, and for this party? Remember, you may need to communicate this stuff quick, fast, and in a hurry to another person, so get it straight now before you arrive. If this is your first orgy, together. Yeah, y'all need to talk about operating procedures. As a starting point, I offer the orgy protocol that my wife and I have used in the past. When the fun starts, and you will know when the fun starts because clothes come off really quick. My wife and I find a place out of the main action just to sit down, maybe a couch or the edge of the bed. We typically operate as a unit, so this plan works for us, but you are free to do totally as you please. We stick together and stay out of the main action, so if a couple or a person is interested in us, they have to come to us. The The reason is, if a person who is a person who interested in us physically. One half of that consent conversation is now done. Now we have to decide between us, me and my wife, if we want to proceed. Which is simple as asking. Don't overcomplicate this. Don't use hand signals and weird gestures and telepathy. Use your words. Say yes or no or not right now. Three simple answers. Do not be afraid to say no. It is your body and you have control over it. Do not do something you don't want to do because you feel pressured at all ever something easy that helps mentioning consent at an orgy i recommend getting clearance before the fun even starts talk to anyone you may be interested in engaging with either separately or as a couple so when the action starts you have the peace of mind that yes, this woman I'm about to go down on is okay with this. And a tip for my wife. Let's say you are in a situation as a lady or even a man this could work to where a person approaches you or they try something leaning towards the aggressive like waving their pecker a little too close to any of your orifices for comfort. Best line ever, super easy. Sorry, I have to go pee. Easy, right? Nope, sorry, I have to run to the restroom. I will be back. And then you don't come back. Look, I get it. It sounds kind of sketchy, and I always say try to use your words, but I'm fucking realistic here. Yeah, sometimes it is just easier to walk away, and this gives you a excuse. Nope, sorry, gotta go to the bathroom. And then you kind of meander around. I promise whoever asked that question or whoever instigated something, they have already bounced over to someone else. Figuring out a couple's new rules for a new group activity is a really good thing. Never shy away from having a conversation and expressing your desires or hesitations. As far as orgy etiquette, I'm not sure that there are agreed upon rules for all orgies because I have not been to every orgy, but I can at least tell you some basic guidelines. Do not get drunk. I am not a big fan of drinking and swinging as long-time listeners know, and an orgy, this is like a double-triple bad idea. You have a drink to relax, and then two, and then five, and then you are blitzed out of your mind and unable to participate. Plus, alcohol can upset your stomach, and that's going to be a big issue if you plan on engaging in vigorous cardio. Oh yeah, and maybe I'll just want to stick to like a hard seltzer, like a white's claw. They're not that strong, right? No, they're carbonated. That may cause internal gas like burping and other rumblings. So proceed with caution on that one. I'm not a big fan of other illicit substances either. I ain't gonna list them out here. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Depending on the host, they may allow some of those mind-boiling substances besides just alcohol. Again, I tell you proceed with caution. Never make the first time you try a new substance at an event where you will be expected to have sex with a bunch of people. for the orgy itself. Go slow. Slow down. Enjoy the experience. There is no rush. This party will probably take a few hours. Yes, hours. Hours of fuckery and fun and merriment. You do not have to rush in and try to bang everyone in the room within the first 10 minutes. Take your time. Take a break if you need to. Take a water break. Hydration, y'all. It's important. The sex parties I've been to, and like most things in the lifestyle, were really woman-led. As in, there's a pile of women going at it in the middle of the room, and then one or two would break off to find a man for more fun. Orgies are one of those safe places for women, a safe space for women. Men, let women have this space. Let them lead the party. Women, y'all just go and have fun. Us guys, we're just going to sit on the sidelines. Y'all come grab us when you want. I know people have this big worry in their heads about what if someone wants to do something with me and I don't want to. Say so. Use your note. And on the flip side, you need to set a good example by asking consent as well. If a couple of people in the room are all asking for consent before they do stuff, that's going to put slight pressure on everybody else to ask for consent too. So we're leading by example here. You should ask for consent before you touch another person every time. Watching, totally fine, but don't leer and don't make faces. But yeah, watching is okay. Touching though, that is a big deal. If two or three people are going at it and you just have this overwhelming compulsion to join in, ask. Ask if you can join. You may be told no, and that is okay. They are in their space and you did the polite thing and asked. No harm, no foul. The problem is when people just join in, try to slip in on the side and they think they're just going to magically end up at the bottom of the pile of people like amorphous blob is just going to pull them in. Don't do that. Give people space. Don't be the creeper that sits at the end of the bed hoping someone will just pull you into their pile. I have heard horror stories of people trying to slip fingers into empty holes. That does not end well for anyone. When a person says it goes without saying, generally it still fucking needs to be said. No video or photography without consent at an orgy. Look, if you're making content for OnlyFans or whatever, that's totally fine. Everybody agrees and everybody consents to be filmed. Go for it. But this is just your standard issue orgy going on. Don't be the jackass that brings out a camera to film it. People cannot consent to be in your video if their face is in a crotch. Finally, for etiquette, clean up after yourself. Yeah, guys, y'all, them condoms, you finish with a condom, then you just yank it off and you throw it on the floor, and then you slap on another one. Please, from all the people that host orgies and parties, clean up your own mess, clean up your own condoms. No one wants to play, oh, let's find the condom the next day after everyone has left. Find a trash can. Dispose of them. After the orgy, wear those comfy clothes I told you about. Wear those home. Take a shower. Go to sleep. Debrief with your spouse the next day. Talk about the experience. Talk about sexy moments that occurred or moments that gave you pause. Talk through it. This is the best time to learn and listen. Also, reach out to the host and thank them for throwing the party. Look, we may be degenerates, but we are polite degenerates, dammit. I want to bring up another aspect of orgies. Spontaneous versus planned. You're going to encounter both of these. You may stumble on a hotel room one night with 15 people fucking and sucking, or you may get a very posh, polite invite to a private party next weekend. There are pros and cons to both, and you should be ready mentally for both. For planned orgies, this is where a party host will invite a group of people together with the stated potential purpose of there's going to be an orgy later that night. Or for clarity's sake, the host is inviting people who they think have the potential to create an orgy if the energy is right. A group of lifestyle people, they have to hit this critical mass of horny, the right mixture of high-octane hormones and a relaxed environment for a genuine orgy to actually start. Honestly, it cannot happen. You go go to a party and it just doesn't happen. Many hosts have been disappointed that their party did not become an orgy. I can't explain the science behind this because it's more of one of those magical things. The alternative is the host says that at a set time, say 11 p.m., the plan is for everyone to get naked and start the naked party, which I like. It lets the people who may not be interested in participating know when they can bow out gracefully of the event and everyone else left is on board with the fuckery. The downside of planned orgies is pressure. Some people cannot handle the mental pressure of planned sexual activities, which is totally fine. They stress out or they fall in the camp of preferring to just let things happen naturally and flow with the moment. They're not fans of being told that everyone will start fucking at a certain time and they possibly have to participate. There are spontaneous orgies. They just happen. Get enough lifestyle people together, they hit that critical mass, and the whole thing goes nuclear, as in everyone starts fucking. It happens. I cannot tell you how this happens or where to look, despite my diligent research. I don't know. I have no clue how spontaneous orgies do happen. They're magical. They just happen. Spontaneous orgies are elusive. It's like the right place, right time kind of thing. Downside of spontaneous though, you can't prepare for it. But I guess if you're always ready, you don't have to get ready. That's a good slogan for the lifestyle. Always be ready so you don't have to get ready. Realistically, you can't prep for a spontaneous orgy. You don't have any hoe bag. You don't have your supplies. You were just rawdogging life in that moment. Good for you. Another downside is less time to mentally prepare or have any rules conversations with your spouse or talk about the unfun stuff with other participants. There are much more opportunities for a no to float around in a spontaneous orgy. As in, no, I don't want to do anything with this person because I just met them 20 minutes ago and there's the possibility you don't know anybody else in the room. Some people, though, really do like spontaneous because to contrast it with planned orgies, they like just the flow of letting things happen, which is totally fine. There is no right or wrong attitude on this. Figure out what kind of event you prefer. Try both. Try neither if group activities are intimidating and not your thing. If you really want to, throw your own orgy. Y'all, go have fun with it. This week on the Patreon, I will be posting a checklist of items that you should be stocking in your hoback. That's on patreon.com slash thatotherlifestyle. I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so please feel free to reach out to me. Single guys listening to me right now, you need my course. Go to thatotherlifestyle.com for more information. Personal disclaimer here, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and please join us for the next episode. Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.
