Welcome to another enlightening episode of That Other Lifestyle Podcast. Our host, Jason, takes you on a journey through his debut experience on a lifestyle cruise, providing invaluable insights for anyone curious about this unique form of vacation. This episode is designed to guide and support everyone, irrespective of their background, gender identity, or perspectives on ethical non-monogamy.
Get a personal and detailed view of what it feels like to be aboard a floating hotel filled with lifestyle enthusiasts and nudists. Jason shares his first-hand experiences, covering everything from boarding the ship, exploring the nooks and crannies of cabins, interacting with fellow cruisers, to tackling the challenge of seasickness. Learn about the clothing-optional rule, the blend of people one can expect to meet, and the key dos and don'ts to keep in mind while on the cruise.
Apart from sharing his unique experiences, Jason also equips you with actionable tips to better prepare for a lifestyle cruise. From the resources that assisted him, the benefits of joining chat groups for networking, and essential advice on sun protection for outdoor nude activities, this episode has you covered.
Embark on an uncensored, fun-filled, and informative journey with us as we delve into the world of lifestyle cruises. It's not only about shedding your clothes; it's about shedding inhibitions, enhancing communication, respecting boundaries, and above all, enjoying the experience. Uncover your next adventure with us and delve deep into the titillating world of lifestyle cruises.
Transcript
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you may be, I hope you have blue skies and you get a lot of nice compliments today. Welcome to That Other Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Jason. Take a listen and let's leave Vanilla behind. I need to share some news with everyone. My wife and I went on a lifestyle cruise. I have been excited to do this episode ever since we got off that boat. So many cool things to share with everyone. And I know y'all are super curious about what goes on when 3,000 lifestyle people get on a ship and sail around the Caribbean.
So I'm going to tell you the good, the bad, the ugly, and the weird sides about swinger cruises. Subscribing to the podcast wherever you may be listening is a big help to me. This is also available on youtube and fullswapradio.com thinking about dipping your toes in you can find a link to sign up for sdc on my website that other lifestyle.com i also have a patreon patreon.com slash that other lifestyle head over there if you want ad free episodes and other spicy bonus content please note this podcast is intended for adults only. It is not safe for work.
We will talk about adult topics, sexual topics, and I will use salty language often. This content is for entertainment purposes only, and again, only for those over 18 years of age. I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can. It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance. For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife or partner or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I'm sharing.
This podcast is for everyone though, no matter your background, gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living. Everyone is welcome no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy.. Alright, my wife and I spent five days sailing around the Caribbean on a lifestyle cruise. I'm not going to specifically mention which cruise we went on, because they are not paying me for advertising. If they want to mention, they need to pay money.
And pardon my vernacular, as I refer to the vessel we were on interchangeably as a ship or a boat or a cruise or a floating hotel. I have no idea what the distinction is between all those terms. Let's get the first thought that popped into your head out of the way. Visions of hedonistic orgies playing out everywhere, on the stairs, next to the coffee kiosk, humping in nudity everywhere. That didn't happen. No one was walking around naked on the cruise. No one was doing the nasty tango out in the middle of the dance floor. There were rules, people.
Dispel any notions of naked bodies sashaying around the buffet line. For reference, two ladies were chastised by the staff for getting a little too frisky on the dance floor. I need to level set expectations of what happens on this kind of cruise right from the start. Nudity was only allowed outside, on the top decks, by the pools. When we went to dinner, people had to wear clothes. Inside the bars, people had on clothing. Yes, I did see some interesting bodies out there. Various states of undress and nudity were allowed on the upper decks, around the pool, and the solarium.
I said the word solarium more times on this cruise than cumulatively in my entire life. As the boat was leaving the dock, the captain announced that everyone had to stay clothed until we were three miles offshore. Fifteen minutes later, when we hit that three-mile mark, the tops came off. The tops, the bottoms, and everything came off. I swear people got naked so fast they must have practiced it at home. When we were leaving the port, there was another cruise ship that we slowly crawled past.
And on that other boat, I could see kids and families and grandmas and grandpas and all these nice people waving at us with no idea what we were about to embark on. Looking around the cruise, I personally, the thing I appreciated the most was the sexually positive environment. Nobody was judging, everyone was accepting, and everyone knew what they were on the boat for. We booked the cruise almost nine months ago as a birthday present to my wife. We have never done a cruise of any kind before, so in addition to being our first lifestyle cruise, this was our first cruise ever.
I did learn the hard way that I am not designed for sea travel. I could feel every time a wave hit that damn boat. Despite all the good intention of advice from our friends on dealing with the turbulent ocean waves, I still got seasick a few times. But it wasn't so bad. We did have a balcony to decompress and recover on. And a little bit of nausea and dizziness is a small price to pay, in my opinion. Oh, and other couples had balconies too. The night air was thick with the sounds of people engaging in animalistic passion on their balconies, moans and screams disappearing into the darkness.
Leading up to the cruise, the travel agency that we went through did an excellent job of preparing us for the voyage. There were emails and messages about the timeline of events, tips on how to navigate boarding the ship, which I really appreciated because, as I said, we had no clue what we were doing. The process itself. That's one of the reasons I like doing this podcast, sharing with everyone the nuts and bolts and how of any situation. Like, I know how to board a plane.
You drop off your luggage at the counter, you make grumpy faces at TSA, possibly get a free pat down along the way, and then you're off on your plane. For the cruise, the first thing we had to deal with was our luggage. So many bags. We dropped off our luggage in the parking garage as the cruise line will bring it up to your room. Sorted and done. We brought a small backpack to carry documents and drinks and bathing suits with us along the way. For security, there was a standard x-ray similar to TSA when you fly. The cruise line checked our identification and then we were on the boat.
If you've never been on a cruise before, like me, as soon as you board, you're required to attend a muster session as it's called. That's the place where they explain the really important stuff like how to operate a life jacket. After the muster station, we were free to wander around the boat. Us and everyone else getting on the boat went straight to the upper deck by the pool. And yes, the bars were open when we ordered. I had a margarita in my hand as soon as we got near the pool.
If you are considering a lifestyle cruise, look around to see if there's any self-organized Facebook groups or chat groups for that cruise ahead of time. There were chat groups with hundreds of members we just stumbled into. I don't know if they were specifically organized by the travel agencies or just other random cruisers. Either way, we found these groups a very good resource. Granted, like any other lifestyle chat group out there, there were nudes, so many nudes, and lots of people looking to line up their frisky excursions on the boat ahead of time before the cruise even started.
Sifting through all that though, the experienced cruisers did share like little tips and tricks and hacks to make the trip better. And it's a great way really to meet people virtually ahead of the trip. Out of all the resources we consulted, I have to say that chat group was probably the best one for helping us since this was our very first lifestyle cruise. I researched everything way too much and overthink. We watched other lifestyle podcasters and videos reviewing past cruises from this particular company and videos giving detailed walkthroughs of the ship and cabins.
We wanted to get a good idea ahead of time of what we were walking into. And like I said earlier, I'm not going to say specifically what cruise we went on because they need to pay me to get a name dropped. Even with all that research, when we first boarded, I ain't gonna lie, we were overwhelmed. Not by the lifestyle aspects. We got that down. I am more than comfortable talking to random lifestyle people wherever we are. But to help out those who were not as comfortable as my more experienced listeners, the first day on the boat, there was a seminar for first-time cruisers.
We learned that on this cruise, this one in particular, there were nudists, who I'll talk about later, and first-time lifestyle people, like people who have never done anything, like those super green newbies. And I find that wild, the sheer bravery it would take to think, yeah, let's try the lifestyle. Well, how should we start? Maybe a bar meetup or a few couple dates? No, screw it. Let's go on a cruise. And if that's you and your spouse, you have my respect. For me and my wife, navigating the damn boat was the hardest part of the first day.
We were perfectly comfortable walking up to random people and saying, hi, lifestyle interactions, we got that. Figuring out where our room was and then how to get back out of the labyrinthian hallways, that sucked. Even by the last night of the cruise, I still had to check the map to make sure I was on the correct side of the boat. Drunk and trying to decode a cruise ship map. There are little moments as a swinger that you never expect. And it never failed. Whatever elevator we took, or no matter where we walked, we were always on the opposite end of the boat from our room.
This has nothing to do with swinging, by the way. It's just me showing off my shelter non-cruise taking life. These boats are massive. Everyone listening who has been on a cruise is nodding along, but damn it, I had no idea. 14-story floating hotel traveling at 20 knots to the ocean. It's wild. I know that this cruise has completely ruined us on vanilla cruises, though. I could not conceive of going on a regular cruise now. So how are lifestyle cruises different than your standard run-of-the-mill cruise? The biggest difference is this cruise is adults only.
There is a premium in the cost of the cruise for this luxury of sailing with only adults though. This option costs more than a standard regular cruise. I wanted to share that if anyone is now interested in taking an adult-only cruise, you have to pay extra. But the benefit is, no kids screaming and running around like a pack of feral jackals. My wife and I were able to enjoy the arcade without any kids around. She is brutal at air hockey. Second big difference. The cruise is clothing optional, as I mentioned.
What that means is nudity, or not clothing, is allowed in in designated areas like the outside of the boat. No one is allowed to walk around inside of the boat like getting dinner or down the hallways with boobies bouncing around. And pardon me if I use the incorrect terms for rooms on a boat. I know it's a cabin, not a room or whatever the hell a bulkhead is. For simplicity, I'm going to pretend the whole boat is a floating hotel and just use hotel-centric terms when I can.
Since the cruise is clothing optional, in addition to lifestyle people, there were also nudists on board the boat, like I mentioned. Nudists being those that just like to be naked versus those that participate in the lifestyle. The cruise line makes sure to tell us that. Having nudists on board theoretically adds a wrinkle to propositioning people. There's always a slight doubt that the naked person you were talking to is not in the lifestyle. But the nudists, in their offense, were quick to say and delineate if they were open to lifestyle fun or not.
I think most of the nudist crowd stayed in the solarium, which was a separate pool area on the boat. And you're probably thinking the same question I thought when I learned about the nudists on board. Why? Why would nudists go on a lifestyle cruise? I got the answer. Because there are no nudist-centric cruises out there. So the best option for nudists is a lifestyle cruise, even if they have to deal with our heathen asses. For science, I need to share a very interesting data point. I saw a direct correlation between the older a person is, the less clothing they are wearing. Huh.
Those 80-year-old guys, naked all the time. Inside the ship, they were rocking the tiniest little thongs. I want to warn anybody thinking about this cruise, you will see naked people. You will see the full range of possibilities of what a human body can look like naked on this trip. There are people who are naked in the pool and hot tub from sun up to midnight, and they do it every day. I hope I am that comfortable with my body when I am 80. Pro tip, considering the number of sunburnt titties and bajajas I saw on this cruise, please use sunscreen. Please, please use sunscreen.
The sun is brutal the further south you go on this planet, and being in the Caribbean sun all day long will cause the gnarliest sunburns. You do not want to get burned the first day, then have to nurse your red peeling skin for the whole trip. I saw people get sunburned on places that haven't never seen the light of day, so be ready for that. The boat also had some non-swingers, non-nudists on board, and I guess we'll just call them no-swap couples, lifestyle-adjacent maybe.
There are people who like the party environment, lack of children running around, and want to take a more adult-oriented cruise, which I think is perfectly fine. Who can go on this cruise? The company we went with this cruise is primarily for couples. However you define that, two people in a cabin. Not sure if they really care about gender orientation, just two bodies in a cabin. Do you have to be married? Well, no one asked me for a marriage license, so you should be good on that. The company does allow three people in the larger staterooms, so think of a couple plus a unicorn maybe.
There are other cruises out there that allow single males. I did not personally encounter any on this trip, though I also did not go asking around. As far as trans individuals, I have no idea. I am not the kind to care one way or the other. Again, didn't go asking around, and I'll treat a person based on how they are presenting to me at the time I meet them. There were meet and greets, dedicated, and dedicated playroom time for bisexual males and women only too. Each cruise has a different vibe though, just like a house party.
We heard from other people that the one we were on was a lot more chill than the others, like more relaxation and sitting around. Some cruises have more of a party vibe, like bumping music all day long and night everywhere, or have a sexier vibe. So if you're thinking about taking a lifestyle cruise, research the vibe you're looking for. We went with the more chill vibe this time, though in the future we might try a party cruise. There is a misconception out there, especially from the vanilla crowd, is that on this kind of cruise, it is a non-stop fornication marathon on the ocean.
Sorry to say, it is not. People can engage in whatever activity they want in their cabin, but as I said before, we were forbidden from doing the dirty in public areas. To address this and offer people options, there were playrooms. Multiple locations on the boat, from a section of the top deck to the former conference room, were converted into playrooms. I believe there were four total, spread out among the decks, and these were big too, like 20 to 30 beds easy spread out. The travel company brought in king-size beds, lots of beds, and provided them at all the playrooms.
The mattresses were plastic, I guess for easy cleanup, and this is a dedicated fuckery bed, y'all. Each bed had four posts and curtains. You remember I mentioned the curtain rule in sex clubs? Same principle applies here on a smaller bed-centric scale. Each bed had some curtains that noted to anyone walking by whether they could watch or join in, and the playrooms were open all throughout the night and a little bit during the day. I want to throw a special shout out to the security team. There are travel agency representatives managing the playrooms.
It might be a trivial point, but I know at least one listener out there is wondering about it and needs to know. Yes, security is present in the playrooms, and they're ever present on the boat. They wore bright green or yellow shirts with security across the back. They were in the playrooms to make sure that everyone is behaving within reason, and they were constantly patrolling the ship in addition to the crew's staff. It's human nature. Free alcohol and sexual Thank you. They were in the playrooms to make sure that everyone is behaving within reason.
And they were constantly patrolling the ship in addition to the crew's staff. It's human nature. Free alcohol and sexual tension bubbling up. People may do something stupid. But if it did happen, it didn't happen to us or in our vicinity. Everyone was just super friendly and respectful. Now, let's say you're not into the playrooms. How else can you entertain yourself for five days on a lifestyle cruise besides drinking? There was a liberating amount of drinking. I personally found the drinks on the weak side, which means I was drinking a lot.
We had the unlimited drink package, and by the third day, I was determined to find the limit, which, happy to say, there wasn't one. You could walk up to any bar anytime and get a drink. Other ways to keep the brain busy was seminars. Seminars are offered during the day with topics ranging from orgies to in-black play to BDSM. Every day, there were three or four seminars offered just all around the boat. Speaking of orgies, one of the seminars was a hosted guided orgy, which just sounds wild.
All willing and consenting participants would go into a playroom and an orgy coordinator would start and keep the action moving along I don't know. which just sounds wild. All willing and consenting participants would go into a playroom and an orgy coordinator would start and keep the action moving along with liberal use of lube. Put this here, you go over here, oh look there's a vacant crotch that needs attention. If you've never been to an orgy or you want to organize an orgy, that would be an awesome session to try. The highlight of the trip for us though were the theme parties every night.
We love a good party especially if we could dress up. Five nights of theme parties did necessitate us packing a whole extra suitcase just for outfits. We had a glow night which is like a rave. Pajama night which honestly was the hardest one to dress up for because pajamas and sleepwear are either like super sexy and sultry or they're frumpy and comfortable. The first night was a Barbie theme night. So pink Barbie doll. I was looking smashing as kin. I am kin enough, as my bracelet said. Leather and lace was pretty cool too. It had this whole BDSM vibe.
Prior to the dance, opening each night at 10 p.m., people would mill about and parade through the promenade in the center of the boat. This damn boat had a street in the middle of it. We got to mingle and watch everyone walk past in their outfits like it was a little fashion show, and it was a really nice social hour. We found ourselves often. We would notice a couple getting onto an elevator and just missed the chance to talk to them. The nightly parade of heathens was really nice to catch up, find people, and make connections.
I like the fact that everyone or most everyone participated in dressing up and some of the costumes, like my wife's, were just spectacular. Wild tangent, wildly shifting topics. Food. This is more of a cruise line thing versus a travel agency thing, but the food was good. If you're on a special diet like vegan or keto, there were options available and the staff were very accommodating. If you're thinking about taking a lifestyle cruise, I have a few suggestions on what to bring and what I wish I would have brought. First, more important, most important, gonna say it again, sunscreen.
Bring that hardcore SPF 100 plus on this trip. If you were from the upper latitudes of this planet, I can tell you, you were not prepared for the sun down here. For the weather, we did not encounter any rain, thankfully. The wind was hellacious, though, and nearly took my wife off her feet when we were on the upper deck one night. Nothing the cruise line can do about that. When we docked at two ports, the weather was hot and muggy, like a hundred percent humidity because it's the tropics. Next up, pack the seasickness medications.
As I mentioned earlier, I learned I am not designed for sea travel. Not at all. As this was our first cruise, I had a touch of seasickness a few times. Nothing major and certainly nothing that will stop me from continuing to party though. There are little things you can bring to make her stay more comfortable. I am so grateful to my wife for researching all these things ahead of time. And that's where that chat group I mentioned were a big help. In between the nudes and people looking for hookups, there was some really useful advice on what to bring on the trip.
Magnetic hooks for the walls were a great idea. A tiny white noise machine helps drown out noise if you need it. The bathroom or the head, whatever the hell it's called on the boat, is insanely tiny. It is a raging bitch and a half to shave in the shower. Deal with that however you need to. And there were only two or three electrical outlets in the cabin, so electrical splitters were super useful. And bring multiple pairs of sunglasses in case you lose a pair. Okay, door decorations. Let me talk about doors for a minute. I promise this will make sense.
I had no idea why people decorate doors on cruises. The logic was lost to me until it was 3 a.m. stumbling down a hallway the length of the ship trying to find our room. I get it now. I get why people decorate their doors to help them find their rooms. It is so much easier to look for our own garishly decorated door instead of trying to read numbers. I know on vanilla cruises, decorating your door is a big deal. There are these special decals available online for door decorating. There's like a whole economy dedicated to door decorations.
I have heard on vanilla cruises, lifestyle people will slap a pineapple on the door to advertise to other lifestyle people out there, which may be the origin of the pineapple as a symbol. Now that I think about it and want to share with everyone, that is my new working theory on the origin of the pineapple as a swinger symbol. So think about it. A group of lifestyle people on a cruise at some point in the past put up a pineapple as a secret way to identify each other's rooms. Or the more likely event is a person really likes pineapples and slapped a decal on their door.
A vanilla person sees it and creates this whole narrative in their head. Because remember, the vanilla world is desperate for swinger symbols. Dissemination of this narrative around the globe would be easy, as vanilla people on a cruise could hear about pineapples, then they return home to wherever, and then share it with more vanilla people. Then lifestyle people hear about it, and figure why the hell not, and run with it, whether it was ever real in the first place. Plus, it's super easy to flip a magnetic pineapple decal upside down as a prank. Just saying, just a new theory I got.
On Lifestyle Cruises, door decoration is turned up to 11, y'all. People had clipboards and pictures and ribbons and balloons and nudes. It is wild stuff. We spent an hour walking around the boat admiring door decorations and drinking margaritas. On a Lifestyle Cruise, though, I guess you don't need the pineapple decal. Something to bring. Bring a magnetic whiteboard with you, if you can. It slaps right on the door because the door and all the cabin walls are metal anyway, so you can write your names on there and you can leave messages for other people.
Pro tip, you will be on this cruise mingling and meeting people. A lot of people. You may be inebriated when you meet new people. On the cruises, it is very popular to make up business cards with your pictures and maybe your SDC or another site username. Some of them even had QR codes. We have a stack we brought home from all the nice people we met on the trip. We, me and my wife, we took it another step. My wife had the great idea of getting silicone bracelets made with our names and our SDC username on them. The reason is cards can get wet or lost.
With a bracelet, it's memorable, it's wearable, and it makes a really nice souvenir. I also made a bracelet for the podcast too, self-promotion. The bracelets came out to less than a quarter apiece, so it's a very affordable option. The rules for interacting with people on the boat were the same as on land. I was really happy to see people observing the rules of consent and asking for permission before there were any shenanigans. I know full well this may not be the case all the time, but in my interactions, it happened and it made me happy.
The lifestyle is built on the pillars of fun, consent, and safety. The cruise was fun. I did see people asking for consent, and as far as safety goes, ha ha, bring your own condoms. Always have a whole bag full of condoms and lube and toys on hand. That goes double true on the cruise. I didn't personally notice if the playrooms provided condoms, and I only found one place in the boat that sold condoms. So be on the safe side and bring your own from home. Bring a lot. You might need them. Another question running through your brain. You might be wondering, how did the crew handle this?
Were they staring? Did they join in? No. Hunter S. Thompson, who wrote Fear Loathing in Las Vegas, the book, though the movie is awesome too. Thompson wrote, this is one of the hallmarks of Vegas hospitality. The only bedrock rule is don't burn the locals. Beyond that, nobody cares. They would rather not know. When I travel, I live by those words. Don't burn the locals. You are in their world and their space. For the crew, they were under strict orders not to participate in any lifestyle romping or shenanigans with the cruisers.
I ask if you do go on one of these cruises, have fun, but remember that this is the crew's home. They live on these boats for months at a time. Be respectful, even on a vanilla cruise. I heard stories of people opening the door to crew members buck naked and shame on them for that. That is messed up and wrong. Do not force your nude body on another person without their consent. And yes, I do believe nudity requires consent in all situations. If someone is coming in to clean your room, don't make them stare at you ding-a-ling.
And funny enough, I did ask one crewmate about how they felt about this being a lifestyle cruise because I wanted to know. They told me that they had been prepping for a month to get ready with all these trainings and meetings and stuff. But overall, she really liked it because there were no kids on board. Like I mentioned earlier, it was liberating to be in such a sex-positive environment and liberating to be surrounded by lifestyle people. My people are people. Barring a few nudists, you were secure in the knowledge that everyone on that cruise knew that this was a lifestyle cruise.
They knew the etiquette and rules and everybody was really super friendly. No one touched us and dare I say others without consent. No one was pushy or abrasive. If you're thinking about taking a lifestyle cruise and worried about meeting people, don't be. People would randomly strike up conversations in line for drinks, in buffet line at dinner, sitting around the pool. We found everyone very approachable. If you have the courage to approach a stranger at a meetup in a bar, you are golden for this cruise.
I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so feel free to reach out to me. Go take a look at my friend's website. It is www.gentlemans-almanac.com. He wrote a really good book for gentlemen in the lifestyle. My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained or certified educator of any way. I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode. Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it.
Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.
