DJ Fabz: Uniting Lifestyle and Vanilla Communities

Transcript

Speaker1: good morning good afternoon good evening everybody this is jason with that other lifestyle podcast leave vanilla behind as we talk to one of my favorite people in the world today dj fabed how are you doing man i'm doing great i'm doing great thank you how are you i am excellent so you have something coming up this weekend that sounds incredible and cool and awesome and me and my wife are going to be there tell us all about it because it's going to lead us into the next part of the discussion the other reason i'm going to have you on the show so we've got a bunch of folks coming out um they're coming from all over the place we've got people coming from you know sulfur and texas and louisiana mississippi florida bama to the smiling dog a venue in baton rouge uh where we are going to be hosting an lsu versus alabama watch party and the watch party is going to take place um right at game time basically so we're going to load it in like around 5 30 there'll be a you know We'll be a you know a bartender assigned up upstairs this this space is so cool because it has the billiards and the darts and the regulation size shuffleboard foosball outdoor balcony for the smoker types and the ones that have to get the fresh air the whole nine yards and then it's got like literally a ton of seating options there's high tops there's small chairs there's love seats there's a sofa there's some some archie bunker style recliner type chair like they have a mix it's it's an eclectic mix of all kinds of stuff which is really cool um they've got four 65 inch tvs in an array to make one big wall of screen for the for the game and then like three or four other 65 inch tvs positioned throughout and it's an open you know like format space so this is going to be phenomenal and you know like i said we've got you know there's lifestyle people coming there'll be locals there'll be all kinds of people they're in fact they're local people asking hey are the lifestyle people gonna be there those are cool people so we're doing this thing we're gonna load in like around 5 30 ish or so game starts at 6 30 that means the game is gonna run about three hours so around 9 30 9 45 unless there's overtime games should be over and then i'm kicking it into overdrive with an after party after the fact so i'm going to dj until we have to leave nice nice so for our international listeners we're talking about american football american college football a big rivalry between lsu louisiana state university and bama which is alabama what's it what's yeah alabama university that's that's yeah that's the role tied bama yeah that's the infamous alabama that gave many of our lsu head coaches all kinds of fits and and headaches and also responsible for some of the most well-deserved wins that lsu's had throughout its storied, you know, because when you beat Bama back then, I mean, you really did something special. So, yeah, this is going to be good because my expectation, based upon the way the season's gone thus far, is that we're probably in for a good game, but we're probably in for an LSU win. So either way, if LSU, God forbid, knocking knocking on the wood around here were to not prevail in this game we're going to need the party as a means to wash the bitter taste of that out of our mouths and of course if lsu wins which is what i expect will happen that'll be all the more reason to throw down and party until two and we're going to be in lsu louisiana state university is in baton rouge whereas we're going to be doing this big old meetup this and having a wonderful time and it's at the smiling dog in baton rouge in baton rouge yeah it's on sherwood forest boulevard a lot of the people that work at the smiling dog are current lsu students and or alums of lsu so you know there's a lot of lsu history that goes with this place which has been around for a long time that's awesome that's awesome so happy for you doing these events doing this meals when you've been doing these like you've done a couple of them at this location you know it's picking up you know for a long for the longest time my focus was on helping different lifestyle groups like Risk A to get a party atmosphere going that was conducive to what the ladies, as we talked about in the previous podcast, are really into, right? And so we've successfully done that. But as more people are getting comfortable with their experience in the lifestyle, with their friendships from within the lifestyle, even the vanilla folks that have friends that are lifestyle friends, they like hanging out with those people. You know, they like they like us. They like being in our company. They like the lack of drama and judgment that comes with that space. So we're creating more opportunities for people to get together not just centered around the takeover hotel type the big stuff the big the big huge the bigger stuff right these are more casual you can just show up have a good time for the night have a good time meet a bunch of people right and so we were talking before we got started and the reason i wanted to have you on too was to talk about something that people have come to me with people have come to you with is this hesitation to go to a meetup so i had one couple reach out to me on sdc and they're like yeah we really want to go but you know they they don't know anybody there or they're nervous or they think people are going to judge them read between the lines here um and i really don't like that i want people to feel comfortable and something somebody they pointed out specifically was like they didn't feel welcome or no one invited them and i wanted to talk to you about that too because this event is public like anybody can show up. You don't have to be lifestyle. You can be vanilla. It's going to be in a vanilla bar with lifestyle people. So it's not like people are going to be going apeshit, you know, with the boobies out. We're going to be hating ourselves for the most part. Absolutely. Because we've done many events at this venue already. and um and it's a it's a hodgepodge and mixture of non and lifestyle folks and it's just it's just awesome you know everybody's doing what you would expect them to be doing fraternizing talking yeah playing playing some of the table games or whatever the case may be listening to the music coming to the dance floor dancing the whole nine yards it's it's a good time it it is kind of um unfortunate that in in today's day and age where you've got great acceptance across the board for lgbtq uh you can even add the two plus on the end of that right you've got all of that in there and yet the one group that still feels slightly out of touch and disenfranchised and a little bit in the shadows are you gonna say it are you gonna say it the lifestyle i'm sorry the lifestyle people oh yeah yeah like in other words it's like it's it's okay for you to be trans or gay or pan or all these different things that that's accepted and understood, but yet, um, there's this, this jaundiced eye that gets cast at, you know, the quote unquote lifestyle. And I don't like to use the term swinger because I think it's, it's not indicative. Yeah, we don't talk about, yeah, we don't um but when you get into that space you know you get you get this really interesting kind of wishy-washy reaction from some folks which is kind of strange because some of the more you know the things that have been more recently um accepted in a in a proper loving and acceptable way. We don't seem to get that all the time, which is why lifestyle people tend to gravitate towards lifestyle people. Right. But what I have noticed in my eight years now, I think it's eight years we're in. Yeah. Eight years in, um, I've noticed that that's changing and it's changing because of this We'll be right back. eight years we're in yeah eight years in um i've noticed that that's changing and it's changing because of this this purple area in the middle you know you got the the red and the blue and then you got this purple area where where people are just like the myths a lot of stuff is being demystified by simply people showing up at events like this in a common space and going and literally saying, y'all, y'all are great. Y'all are the coolest bunch of people we've ever hung out with. This ain't what we expected it to be. We thought it was going to be this and it's completely, it's completely not like that. Yeah. Yeah. Get through that. Well, you know, expectations and perception exist in the vacuum of a lack of communication right that i mean you know perception is reality in in the absence of communication so that's a good way to put it it's it's true because because a ceo of mine told me that he said perception is not reality it's reality in the absence of communication. That makes more sense. And so as people get educated, just through their, you know, their empirical experience, being around people in lifestyle, they're going, man, you know, poof, mind blown, coming back next week. Hope y'all be here bringing some friends that's what's happening and it's and i want to dispel a lot of the myths around it like when we have these lifestyle events and these meetups and stuff vanilla people are welcome you're not unwelcome at the fuck all nobody's going and i i see it as two things one people are gonna people think that it's gonna turn into a full-blown orgy it's not it's at a bar no people are gonna be a lot more chill than you think they are absolutely not the other flip side that i see it as people are maybe apprehensive to go to a meetup like this with a bunch of lifestyle people because they're scared to be outed and that's a hard one that's definitely a big that's a big thing and i can't guarantee that everyone is going to behave themselves in a way that is not going to make you guilty by association so as you well know even in strictly vanilla spaces once people get to hanging out and get a few drinks in them even the vanilla folks especially on the ladies side of the equation will have a tendency to you know get a little frisky with each other and they're not even quote unquote designated or identify as lifestyle people right so of course when you get lifestyle people together and you're getting into the wee hours of the of the night you know yeah people get a little comfortable but there's nothing crazy or nutty or illegal going on it's just that you notice that people don't have the same type of hang-ups and boundaries that other people have because they know each other they're comfortable with one another and that's just the way it works right and there's and you mentioned know each other there's another part to that i see hesitancy from people who want to who want to go to these sort of events that they don't know anybody that's something i get that that's a big one to get over that i'm gonna they have this fear they're gonna show up nobody's gonna talk to them they're just gonna stand in the corner all night and they're gonna have a terrible time and you know they they put together this narrative in their head without ever stepping out the door and it's kind of like whenever people think about working out they're like well i'm gonna go to the gym and i'm gonna look stupid people are gonna laugh i mean da da da da none of that is true as somebody who goes to the gym all the damn time i can tell you nobody cares nobody cares that you're there nobody cares what you're doing we're all there for our own reasons to work out with these lifestyle events. We're all there to have a good time. And, but just by you showing up, that's the hardest thing. I know that's the hardest thing. Just showing up to the party and saying hi to people. But I can tell you from personal experience, if you show up, people are going to come up to you and say, hi, they're going to, they're going to want to know who the new person is. They're going to want to come talk to you. No, there's no doubt about it. Um, in fact, just at a recent event, uh, I was walking through late into a meeting greet and there were some stragglers showing up. These were probably the people you're talking about. Uh, there were two couples in particular. I'll never forget them because i went and talked to both of them the first one i noticed was a older couple and they were just kind of hanging out and looking around on the periphery and i kind of stepped up to the bar to order a drink and i made the decision instead of ordering the drink here in this blank space i'm going to put myself there so i went over ordered the drink gave a glance over like you guys here for the party and they're like yeah this is our first one ever we don't really know anybody i said well now you do you met you know the dj what what better place to start and then of course that started a conversation it relaxed them a little bit and they started explaining exactly what you're saying that they you know they had it in their head that they were just going to be kind of left on the fringes no one's going to talk to them and here they are they've been sitting five minutes and somebody's already engaging with them and we chit-chat a little bit about the DJing and the music and what they should expect that was one of the things I took advantage of doing and it wasn't it was deliberate in the moment but not something I had pre-planned as i approached i i took the chance to tell them well the the ballroom's over here it's decorated there's going to be a like a preloading section with photo booth you know there'll be a there'll be a bar set up in there and then when you make the wall you'll go into the dance space it's going to be mind blowing you're going to see lasers and fog and lights and and people everywhere and it's going to look amazing so that's what you can expect and they were like the gentleman was like thanks for telling us that because that at least helps us because we have no idea what we're walking into you know and sure enough as i'm djing probably it was about 9 15 they got down there pretty early they popped in around the wall gave up a wave sat down at one of the tables hung out and tapped their toes and feet to the music for a little while and i threw a track on that was going to last a few minutes and i walked over and kind of chit chat with them a little bit more introduced them to some other people that loaded in behind them and then was like okay now you're off to the races and they had a blast you know and then conversely there was a a younger couple that showed up and they kind of deliberately put themselves on the far side of the racetrack bar away from everybody in the meet and greet because the meet and greet was almost at the end but not quite so who was left were the people that really know one another and they were all just hanging out fraternizing everyone else had gone upstairs to start getting ready you know for the evening that kind of thing and i was like well here we go got to do these duties again so i walked over and just as i go to walk over the gentleman and the couple walks away and i was like ah that sucks because i want to you know meet the couple i don't want to just walk up and look like i'm trying to talk to the lady but but i was already on my way so i'm like okay so i told her i said look i literally was walking over here to talk to you guys your husband's walked off i need to meet him and she's like oh well he'll be back he went to do whatever and i said okay well i'm gonna let you go i don't want to you know she's like no no you're good you're good and she introduced herself and we started chit-chatting and right again you know we wound into it and then a few minutes later up walks the husband and he's like oh man i'm glad you're here i wanted to say hello and you know the whole thing so every interaction is similar but different but at the same time i think part of what's important is that people that think like you do about it, the way I think about it, and many others who kind of play an ambassadorial role or some sort of, you know, guidance role in the groups, it's really important to remember to look out for the new faces, approach those people, let them get that breath out of them that, you know, get the weight off their shoulders that they feel a little closed in, let them open up a little bit, get them laughing. 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That's www.mojasadventures.com. Are you ready for more? Risqué means slightly indecent or liable to shock, especially by being sexually suggestive. Risqué Lifestyle throws the premier lifestyle parties and takeovers in the southern USA that is slightly indecent, liable to shock, and very sexually suggestive. Risqué parties provide a safe, fun environment for new couples, experienced couples, and everyone in between. The dance floor is open all night long with awesome DJs and the best sound system. They go above and beyond to host a party that you will be telling all your LS friends about for months. The next risque party is New Year's Eve in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Ring in the new year at the sexiest, best party around. Go to risquelifestyleparties.com to find more information. and that's what i wanted to say to all the experienced couples out there. And however you measure experienced is up to you. But be a good ambassador for the lifestyle. Like you mentioned, ambassadorship, be a good ambassador. Welcome people. They may not be your preference. You may not have any machinations to want to do these people have sex with them but you can still be a good ambassador you can still and that that's something else we have to get past in the lifestyle is this is terrible to say just because i'm saying hi to you doesn't mean i want to have sex with you right i'm being a good ambassador and i want other people to be good ambassadors of the lifestyle welcome everyone right and we really have to separate that whole thing of you know i'm just talking to you because i want to have sex that's not the case people are going to be friendly they're going to be nice to you because they want to welcome you into the space they want to welcome you into the community not for you know ulterior. We just want to be good ambassadors for this lifestyle and welcome people. And everybody remembers the first time when they were newbies, the first meet and greet you ever go to, you are nervous as hell. Of course. Remember that. Remember that feeling because everyone goes through that phase. And by walking up and saying hi hi to people that goes a long way to getting them to feel welcome and come back it's true and what's really cute and and because i've seen this a lot is man couples that have been in lifestyle 15 and 20 years still have that same newbie reaction when they go into a new ecosystem you know you know what i mean like when you look at it in a group format get into that new ecosystem and you get that same the same little hesitation it happened to us we went to a meetup um in another state about a month ago and there was probably 40 50 people on the guest list coming so i knew maybe two or three couples on the list and it's like all right are we doing this like yes because we want to go meet new people we want to get out there and go to a new venue go meet new people check out a whole new circle a whole new vibe and okay this is a really ah here's a trick i don't know how y'all gonna take this trick but here's a trick when you go to these meetups and you only know one couple you're gonna walk up to that couple you're gonna say hi to them but you're gonna stay close to them probably within arm's reach because as people come up to say hi to the other couple the natural human instinct is gonna be like oh hi have you met this person who's standing right next to me that's right it's a super easy way to just get to shake hands with a bunch of people efficiently introduction by proxy exactly introduction by proxy there you go that's what we're going to call this trick yeah but it works because as because we were talking to the couple that we knew and then people were coming up saying hi to them because they know them and then they say hi to us and it just it works that way it takes a lot of the pressure off of you to just walk up to random people and say hi but in our modern world we're so cut off we're so shut off from everybody around us like the thought of walking up to a stranger and saying hi is terrifying because it should be because that's what society says it should be yeah in the lifestyle you can you're not confined to this bullshit um i'm losing my words you're not confined to this you can you can it is acceptable it is socially acceptable to just walk up to strangers and say, hi. No, absolutely. And the cool, another cool thing too, this is another interesting, just observation again, because I pay attention to a lot of, you know, what's going on is SDC, you know, provides this awesome chat environment where people can talk. And I have noticed that people who are planning to come to an event for the first time will reach out to somebody that they think or know is deeply ingrained in that ecosystem, and they will tell you in that chat environment, we're coming, we don't know anybody, so we're a little nervous, or we were going to come, or we want to come, but we're thinking about not coming because we don't know anybody and we're a little nervous. So what I like about that is at least they feel comfortable enough to start having that conversation beforehand, which is an opportunity once again to play that ambassadorial role, whoever gets that chat. And this is to anybody listening, you know, when you're on SDC, for example, and somebody reaches out and says, hey, I see you guys go to XYZ's parties. We're thinking about coming, but we're new and we're a little nervous. That's your opportunity to share your great experiences at those events that you go to all the time. Because I don't suspect that anybody that goes to anybody's parties, no matter what brand they are, I don't think that they go once, twice, three times because they're not good and they don't feel comfortable. They go because it's a good vibe. It's a good feel for them. And that's the piece that needs to be shared off the top. I think with somebody who's on the fence about going somewhere, let them know, you know, Hey, this is, it's good people it's organized well it's a safe environment all those those things that you want to check off in your head and say i'm encouraging you to come on out find me when you get there that's one of my big things i'll tell people i'm the easiest person to find because the ballroom opens at nine for example or whatever time and i'm on first well guess what just come to the dj booth come say hello you know i'll give you a big hug we'll chat for a minute i'll point in the right direction introduce this to some people and then you know you can take it from there while i go and do my thing and then i'll catch up with you when i get down and see how you're doing i do a little little follow-up check a little check-in do the check-in absolutely absolutely i do that all the, I enjoy that aspect of it. It's hard, the whole social piece of it that I think is where the big value comes. Making the connections with people, making friendships. And you're right about the people reaching out prior to events. Cause this happened a few times with risque people have reached out to me and it's what is risk a like and you know tell them this is the great experiences we have it's fun it's safe and da da da da here's some things to think about when you come goes so far to making people feel welcome and safe and secure um and meetups i don't know if y'all thought about this they're super efficient by the way you get to meet a lot of people at one time. Unlike going on dates, there's so much less pressure. When you go out on a date with a couple or a single or whatever, there's a lot of pressure there. Are you going to go through with it? Are you going to do something? What are you doing afterwards? Who's going to make the transition? With these meetups, there's no pressure for that. That's a big difference here. And that's something that I think newbies don't realize and is super appealing for newbies. There's no pressure. You just show up and have a good time and say hi to people. You get to meet a whole bunch of people at one time much more efficiently than doing one-off dates. No, 100%. In fact, and it just reminds me, it's going to be a huge opportunity even for me you know and taz to meet a whole bunch of new people we've never met because for example i'm i'm already gaming for what's going to happen next year september in fort walton beach are we going to say are we clear last weekend of september in 2025 risk risque is going to be doing a hotel takeover event in fort walton beach at the island resort so this is this is breaking new ground and new territory for that it's going to be pretty freaking amazing i mean the place is is awesome it's a resort environment literally it's got the whole swim up pool tiki bar they own three four hundred feet of beach it's their beach so we can even like party on the beach um the ballroom even overlooks the beach so you know everybody loves everybody loves summertime everybody loves the beach um and so a destination type event for risk a which is based out of louisiana but so many people already in that panhandle area that have heard about this are going are you guys joking are you serious because if you're doing this we're coming so there's going to be a ton of folks that we have never laid eyes on or met other than possibly chatting with and seeing on SDC, for example, and other sites, you know, um, that we're going to get a chance to actually party with next year in September. So I'm super excited. I'm excited to break the news. The first place y'all are hearing it right now on that other lifestyle risque is going to Florida next year, Fort Walton beach,ember 26th through the 28th yeah the friday is the 26th the saturday is the 27th if i have my dates right i'm pretty sure i do it's the last weekend of september yeah this is i know i know that we're gonna get out there i'm going thursday i can tell you that already i want to go i want to go thursday and kind of just like walk around and get the lay of the land, do the whole load in, set up, rig out the whole system, you know, get things ready. Because we want to, we want to really like drop it like it's hot when we do this, like for real, because I can already anticipate that this is going to be an annual thing for sure. not because the risqué parties he has uh there's four or five in Baton rouge there's two or three in texas in longview texas and this is really the first big one going with going farther out over there to florida panhandle yeah and there ain't a whole lot ls stuff out that way not a lot no not especially not with this particular flavor and flair to it so this is definitely going to be very appealing i mean there's a lot of folks from florida that have come to baton rouge and even now when it was at lafayette uh have come out to risque events some of them have not been able to come back to risque events because again it's logistically you know it's involved but to bring it right to the doorstep of the people in that area and put something together at a venue like the Island Resort is just amazing. So, you know, kudos to Heath for getting that done and being as serious about it as he is, because he went all in on this and now he's got everybody fired up about it on the team nice well i will be definitely keeping everyone updated as tickets become available and more information so y'all stay tuned right here to this show i'll be sharing all the details about that um so with that y'all need to come out saturday you need to come the smiling dog in baton rouge um go ahead and give everybody the details one more time yeah so smiling dog the smiling dog in baton smiling dog it used to be called the londoner it's it was an english pub style joint that's why it has all the features that it has uh the upstairs was called the smiling dog but they only opened it from time to time now it's like a daily thing so the venue is now entirely called the smiling dog it's in baton rouge on short forest boulevard um they have food they have craft beer they have you know cocktails they're going to be doing specials for this thing i've published those somewhere i don't have them handy but they're doing like a special lsu shot that is quite hilarious and vulgar and what they named it it's funny you'll have to go check it out online and see what it's called um they're doing drink specials and all kinds of cool stuff you know to incentivize people to come out but i can tell you but the way they've got the sound, the way they've got the screen set up, and just that whole space is so conducive to just getting together, fraternizing, socializing, talking and living LSU football, Bama football, if you're Bama fans, you know, nobody's going to hurt you. We'll love you too. It's just going to be amazing. They're so amped up about it and so excited about it because everything that we've done has gotten attended better and better and better. And that's another thing I love about the way the lifestyle community rallies around itself, you know, because again, I keep talking about these groups, these ecosystems, whatever, you know, for the most part, my personal experience, I don't find, you know, there's always that, that concern or the word that people use, is it cliquish, you know, not generally speaking, the ecosystems are really good. And I keep saying that term and, you know, I told you the last time we talked, I'm the king of analogies. So the pH in the water is the same everywhere. it and drop it in it's going to live and swim really well like there's no problem with that so it's really cool to to put a bunch of different factions together in one space where everybody gets a chance to just be this one symbiotic group of people it's really fun that's awesome so i encourage everybody me and my wife will be there come on out if you ever if you ever want to meet us we'll be there um just look for the big guy with the beard and i encourage everybody to come out this if you're on the fence if you're new to the lifestyle if you're a newbie you've never done anything like this this is a perfect perfect event for you to come out to low-key no pressure lots of wonderful people lots of good ambassadors for the lifestyle we'd be there to welcome you into this community yeah if you're vanilla and you just want to have a good time because i promise lifestyle people have way more damn fun than any of you vanilla people and you just don't know it yet for true totally come out hang out with us check out i've added probably 70 more tracks for this event that i'm going to play through this is going to be uh bring your bring your twerking clothes and shoes because we're going to make sure you want to shake your booty all night long that's awesome that is awesome well if people want to find out more information about you you awesome wonderful sir where do they go to get more information so go to the website www.djfabesfabz.com i'm also on insta mydjfabes Also on Facebook, very easy to find, but it's www.djfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesfabesf MyDJFabes, also on Facebook, very easy to find, but it's www.DJFabes, F-A-B-Z.com. Awesome. Thank you, sir. And y'all stay tuned for more updates about that awesome, super cool party in Florida from Risque next year, end of September, we're going to take over whole beach it's going to be fantastic yeah thank you sir for hanging out with me i do appreciate it appreciate it encourage everybody to come out the smiling dog in baton rouge 5 30 smiling dog the place opens at 11 a.m so they'll be open but the upstairs will be staffed and ready for the shenanigans and the lsu mania and the bama mania 530 they'll have a bartender up there and it'll be wide open and ready to go people can start perching up there's like I said lots of seating space so not a problem I'll be plenty of room for everybody awesome thank you so much for hanging out with me we're gonna do this again probably next month so keep doing this I love it I love what you do your your channel is great your podcasts are amazing all your content is really relevant and contemporary which is great so you're doing a great job and you know anytime you need me to chime in on anything i'm here for you i appreciate that man thank you so much so y'all have a wonderful night and I look forward to meeting everybody on Saturday. Thanks y'all. Awesome. Take care.