1 Year Anniversaries: Everyday Nonsense and Growth

Transcript

Speaker1: You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign start free at rss.com this week on hot couple chronicles and every single time we have interviews i still don't i still get so scared because i have no idea yeah what i'm doing i have no clue why i'm here tell me about the most intimate details of your life everything that we do we're not surprised that it just doesn't quite doesn't quite go as planned but we're just happy to be here and i can't complain and there are weeks that you just don't I don't feel like being in front of a ring light and having a microphone in your hand you know there's weeks where you just can't and then there's weeks where life happens and babies are born and you have to on the fly come up with episodes alone and do things out of your comfort zone we don't have very many boundaries or rules we are very much like whatever happens happens we just talk we'll figure it out if we're uncomfortable we feel like we're comfortable enough to talk about it to each other. Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle. These discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences. While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on our adventure. I'm Russ. And I'm Ashley. And this is. Hot Couple Chronicles. Where we laugh too loud. Overshare. And say things we probably you're going to regret tomorrow. Welcome back. It's a Wednesday. Happy Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. Another Wednesday of nonsense. Another Wednesday. Who knows? We're coming back. I'll listen to this hot mess express. Not sure why you do, but we do appreciate that you do it. That's why we're here. Otherwise, we'd just be talking in our bed to ourselves, which we do anyway, but it's kind of cool that people Listen to us. Do it. It's like having a fly on the wall. Yeah. At all times. Yeah. And a bright blinding white light staring at you. After we get done recording it takes me like a good five minutes for my eyes to readjust. I see spots for a while. The worst part is we need more light. Oh yeah. We have definitely lacking. We got a new ring light. And while the size is impressive the lighting is just not as impressive as the old one. Yeah, we need... We need actual, like... Backlight. No. Oh, I know. They're in my cart. Oh, I know. I have a whole list of things that we need. Yeah. I just... My old ring light was just so much better, but it just broke. It wouldn't light up anymore, and it started flickering. It was just to the point where I couldn't... We couldn't just make it work. That thing lasted, like... Four years or so. Four years. And it's been through some things. It's been everywhere. It's been all over the place. In the rain. It's been thrown around on trips. So I can't complain. But this one was like an upgrade. It's a bigger one. It's nicer, fancier. But the lighting is just not quite the same. So we're going to work on that. But until then, appreciate you watching what it is. We're getting there. One step at a time. Slowly. We're learning. We're still learning. We're supposed to do two podcasts today. And we have a day full of podcasting. And every single time we have interviews, I still don't. I still get so scared because I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no clue why I'm here. I'm not good at interviews. That's the one thing is that we underestimated was the skill for interviewing people. How do you turn an interview into just like a conversation? And then an interview as much. But they're waiting for you to ask questions. They're looking for an interview, but you need to have an interview. Yeah, but you just never know. And a lot of people we've never even spoken to in real life before. So it's first time you're actually even meeting these people. Yeah, we'll email back and forth a few times. Nail down a time and date. And then they're on the camera and they're waiting to answer all your questions. Tell me about the most intimate details of your life. Yeah, we were talking about that. Yeah. Tell us everything about you in 30 minutes. Go. Tell us all of your juiciest stories, everything that makes you tick. Like, it's a skill that we're still learning. And I'm actually looking into taking some classes and really trying to learn because I cannot interview people. I don't know how to ad lib things. I have killed one out of like 50 interviews. But so I'm hoping and that was the recent most recent interview I did. So I'm hoping that maybe I think it just comes with time and practice and just doing it and getting used to it. Yeah, because I'm so nervous. So I'm always thinking ahead and I have a habit of like half listening to what they're saying because I'm so focused and worried on carrying. Yeah, you're already thinking about the next thing to say. Yeah, and you have a time limit and it's like you're trying to kind of like, yeah, you're trying to guide everything in the right direction and you're thinking like, where do we go with this next? When they're mid-sentence something about the next thing to say and so the next question I ask is I actually just already answered. Yeah. But Ari, I was already committed in my head to this question. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I've been, I've been memorizing it. Cause usually we'll have a paper with like, you know, points or like question, random questions to like help us think of stuff to talk about. But really for the most part, we go in with nothing. We were, we've tried the whole very organized and like we've broken down outlines. The road of actually sending them the questions so they could prepare. Yeah. But then we're like, Oh, we want it more authentic. Yeah. It came off with just a memory. like answers to questions so now we just send a thing saying we just want you to be yourself and wherever the conversation takes us but then it's hard because as a host you have to host and you still have to be in charge and you kind of have to let it flow correctly and so we're learning we're getting there big shows we don't have people writing us no this is us this is us working working on these questions and stuff like that they're like Man, you're so good at that. Also, they have a whole team of writers behind them. I could read a teleprompter if I could. And I know there's ways to do that, but it's still us writing the questions, writing the ideas, writing everything, and coming up with these topics and stuff to talk about and everything. But yeah, if I had to just look up there and read a teleprompter screen, I'd be sad. I'm made for that, but you're not. And so thank you for your patience. But we are happy. We're just happy at this point if the whole interview records and all of the volume and the Yeah. And the video was good. We've had to throw out quite a few interviews this season. We've had a bad spring of a couple interviews where like one, everything was good as we were recording, but then they had not a great internet connection and didn't finish uploading. That's usually where it goes wrong. They'll just turn it off or shut it down and it's gone. We lost that. We've learned there. State. And they were great. And then our sound was absolute trash. So now I've been trying to reschedule that one like six times. And they are very. Oh, yeah. No, it's just between all just life and, you know, scheduling and just doing it. And then also, I'm pretty sad about it because it's like the second time you do it, it's never going to be. It was perfect the first time. Went off flawlessly. I carried that interview beautifully. Both of us like ended that. and we were like killed it like nailed it which never happened usually it's oh i should have done this i should have said this i should have brought up this i forgot and this one was the one and only one we were like nailed it killed it done and then of course no volume on our side none of it well we have volume so but it was like in a tin can camera and not our microphone so like echoey and weird yeah so now we have to come up with all new stuff and then we have to talk about stuff we already talked about and it's just never quite the same the second time but we are doing this all on our own I had never even listened to a podcast before I started a podcast really here and there once in a while but and so I knew what I did that we wanted it to sound like and look like and no not there and these are also podcasts with like studios and producers and companies monetizing the millions of dollars yes I know you know we're we're not quite there yet but maybe one day one day maybe That's our goal anyway. Our personal goal. We're just perfectionists. And we want everything to be perfect. I was doom scrolling. And I got an ad. Like, oh, this camera. I'm like, cool. This is cool looking. $3,500 for a podcast camera. Just for one day. $2,500 for one camera. For their multi-camera system. It was $3,500. One day. We'll get there. Maybe. Just keep on. plugging away every Wednesday and hoping that one day that's where it's going to lead. But thank you for your patience and for all the people on the podcast for your patience as well. I know it's we're still learning. It's all we've learned a lot of lessons this season. I've learned more and more lessons every season. You know, we came in with it. We were supposed to have the podcast out in two days. A year ago will be our one year anniversary. It was supposed to be the 14th. And then we ended up having to push it back because we started off. The computer took a crap. We started off with just technical issues and our whole computer just decided. We've had it for years. Had it forever. Barely touched it. It was barely used, but it was outdated. Yeah. And so, of course, when we started the podcast, it completely died and just went blue. Yeah, we got blue. Okay. Yeah, we started it out and we had to postpone the podcast. Everything that we do, we're not surprised that it just doesn't quite go as planned. But we're just happy to be here. And I can't complain. It's been an entire year that we've had this podcast and that is blowing my mind. The goal was to do like a meet and greet party something and time honestly just slid up so fast and life and kids getting in school and all these events we've been doing and everything going on. We are looking for an 100th episode party. That's the goal hopefully is to do something host something for our 100th episode. Like a release party? We should. Oh, we should. I don't know if anyone could do a Wednesday night party, but that would be so cool. It's Wednesday. It would be Tuesday night. Yeah. End of Wednesday. That would be fun. I don't know. Plan ahead. Plan ahead. We'll have to look and see what day it falls on. We'll have to go away from the party so we can upload the video onto Spotify because it doesn't do it automatically. My thinking with the 100th episode is I read recently that seven of podcasts make it past 100 episodes. Only 7%. And so I think that the year, that's not that hard. That's whatever. Time flies. You know, you get to a year. The 100th episode is impressive. So 100 episodes, if you do one every week, because we know how hard that is. That's why we decided to do seasons. If you do one every single week, that's 52 episodes a year. So that's almost two years of doing it straight every week. That's a lot. That's a lot. I also underestimated that part about doing a podcast is how much work it takes. Yeah. I mean, between the not just finding time to record and topics to record that you would think people might want to hear. That's what I was going to say. Before that, a day or two before of trying to come up with ideas and topics and things that people want to say and, you know, making stories to get ideas and people's answers and everything and just brainstorming. Then you record and you have to have an hour to sit down, which I know sounds like so easy, but it's not for us. It's not. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say, too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music and hundreds more. Track your listeners. See where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at rss.com. It's easy. And especially when your life and things are happening. Almost every adult realizes getting an hour alone together. Quiet, yeah. Especially during the day. During the day. Yeah, yeah. Even at night. Yeah. I definitely underestimated the amount of time and patience. that it was going to take. And there are weeks that you just don't feel like being in front of a ring light and having a microphone in your hand. You know, there's weeks where you just can. And then there's weeks where life happens and babies are born and you have to on the fly come up with episodes alone and do things out of your comfort zone. And it's really it has. Yeah, when we started this journey, I never thought that we would have to do a remote episode. Yeah, I mean, hot couple. It's always been hot couple. So leading into that, we're going to talk about this episode. It's also been my few days ago is my one year anniversary for my solo journey that I've started. One year ago now also around podcast time. One year ago last week was the first time that I went on my first solo trip which was to Secrets. You drove me to Secrets and he has off during the week like we've said and so we got there Wednesday or Thursday. It's usually Wednesday or Thursday. Something like that. But he was able to stay for the night and then leave Friday morning. And it was my first it was a good like introduction to my first like by myself trip because he was there for a day and then I kind of got a couple days to be alone. But it was a it was some of our closest friends. It was a couple of our closest friends. And yes and it was on our corner our secrets corner that we always would book our stuff on. It was very comfortable. He held my hand and then he drove. and left me there. He drove me all the way to Florida, what, six hours or something like that, and then stayed for the day and the night and left in the morning and had no idea that would be, like, the start of this past year at all. But... Yeah, at the time, we thought it was just going to be, like, oh, wow, dang it. Yeah, this is a good idea. Why not? Whatever, why not? You're going with, you know, really close friends. Yeah. Okay. I'm okay with it. Yeah, and then it went well, and then, I don't know if people really noticed I don't know if it's that people noticed that I was down to go to stuff solo but I started getting invited to things slowly and that's kind of where it all began the difference with my I don't even know if I like calling in a hot wife journey I'm not really sure if that's what I do call it but I don't even know that it's even that it's really just I when our friends are going to things like come along. Yeah. And to kind of explain it, he has three weekends a year that he can choose. And if you know, you know, there's at least something every weekend, at least every weekend, one thing, at least in one day. Yeah. And so not only am I in the lifestyle and a part of the lifestyle, but as you know, I have the podcast and I have, we have our brand and it's much easier to make content and to make videos and to make TikToks and all of that. when you're at events and when you're doing things. And also that, also not only that, but like normally all the time we have affiliate code or we're hosting a party with people, promote for people. And so I don't like promoting personally. I don't like promoting and sending out codes for stuff that I'm not going to be at or that I don't go to because I just feel like that's not very authentic. I don't know if you're not going to go to it. Why am I lying? Yes. Yeah. Oh, go to this party. It's going to be great. So great and beautiful, but I'm not going though. You go, but I won't be there. Yeah. Come join us, but not me. Like, it doesn't make any sense with the advertising and the way that it is. And so it was kind of a conversation that we had. You know, if there's going to be these events and if they're asking us if we would like to host for them and we're getting codes and stuff, what are we going to do? Because I only hit three weekends a year and something's going on at least one thing every weekend. Yeah. And so secrets went really well. And then it kind of opened up a conversation of possibly that's the way we're going to work around it because it was very much on our mind of like how are we going to run our brand and our podcast and do all of this stuff and networking and just getting out there and being in the community if we can only do it three weekends a year yeah so unfortunately not many events happen wednesdays on they're going to start a new thing though i think thursday and then everybody goes home friday for the weekend yeah yeah although there's a whole new market normalize that great idea yes and then i'll i'll be I'll be back we're gonna start it with our 100th episode podcast party I guess we're gonna start a thing but until that happens oh there's a lot of events and a lot of things that have went on since then and it has been a crazy absolutely wild ride I think that it I never saw it going the way that it went or goes or who I have become through it I think that it has been wild again I going back to I don't really know what to call it that's why I've kind of call it my my solo journey, my solo traveling, my solo, because it is very much more like people I trust and love are going and they invite me along because they know I usually have weekends free. And so I started getting invited to just more things and tagging along and just being there and getting these opportunities and everything. But it wasn't something that we were searching for. It wasn't like a kink that we had. It wasn't something we wanted. It was never something that we really sought after. We never wanted to play solo. We were very much like full swap couple together all the time. Same room. We were always same room couple. That was one of our things. So it was something we never even pictured. And there was, we had talked about it on the podcast when we went to the mountains and did that solo. We played solo that one time and it kind of, I think there ultimately jumpstarted a whole, like maybe this is something that could be. be something we're into not really sure yet and it has been very much last year just kind of seeing if we're into it like we we are a very we're a couple that we don't have very many boundaries or rules we are very much like whatever yeah happens happens we just talk we'll figure it out if we're uncomfortable we feel like we're comfortable enough to talk about it to each other we will say no if we don't want to do something and we have been just always live our best life yeah but it's been together and so this is conversations we never and then your birthday another like solo was flipped on that one because that was the first time that we saw it as you going solo yeah never once even brought up that opportunity because you aren't ever able to be there yeah so that's nothing we ever even discussed and never thought that i'd be you'd be by yourself that weekend no yeah there was that yeah you know but and you and i was going to just come with you and you're like no because they were all set up and it was all ready to go and everyone was already there and it was too much yeah to just not i mean let's be honest if i am available to go with you you're gonna go yeah it's not like you're gonna go to this event and i'm gonna go to this party yeah it's just not how we do it yeah that's doesn't sound fun yeah that's just not how we like if we're able we're gonna go together so there's not really Until that time, there was really never a situation where I wouldn't. And as comfortable as I've gotten, I've come a long, long way in this journey. I still, this whole past year, has reiterated the fact that I miss you more now than ever. And I'm doing this together more than ever. And it's more... I was talking about this past weekend. I went, again, to Planes After Darks. Live and Lowkey Party. And I was there talking. Everyone always asks me, how is it going? How's my hot wife been going? How do I like it? All of the things. And it's always hard to explain. I love it. I have enjoyed it probably for the first like six months. I really struggled. I, you would find me just not really knowing where to fit in. I didn't, everyone's coupled for the most part. All of our friends have their person. And so there's always times of just being, this was always a nice thing. And we've said it before and I'll say it again. Again, this is an us thing. So it's always been about us exploring, us having fun together, us fantasizing, us fulfilling things, us, you know, going on these trips, us. And so I never in all of this saw it being a me thing and having to do that. And so it has been a ride. And at first I really was in my head and I was just sad about the fact that it's not going to be for this next while in our stage in our life. it's going to be just more of a me thing. And kind of getting over that, there's moments where a song will come on or a moment where everybody's just got friends and people and stuff. And I just don't have anyone around to talk to or I just have to do it on my own and go make friends. I'm just alone a lot. And there was a lot of moments where I would just find myself alone in clubs and parties and room, playrooms and stuff like that. At first, our boundaries were like, take pictures, video, I want to see what's going on. and he liked that idea so that was a thing that we had in place but then it got complicated because we just never want to be those people that pull out a camera when things are getting like that. To add to that is people are always looking at us. A certain group of people I should say are looking for a reason to complain that we have our phones out because they know that we put content on the internet and we have a podcast so there's a certain group of people that don't actually watch one two are looking to complain about you having your phone out and taking pictures always somehow get you in trouble now and that's a root of a lot of the reason why i always say i'm the worst content creator that ever lived and i've never embraced it we had talked about that on podcast earlier about never embracing being a content creator and i think that has a lot to do with that is because i always have people that are everyone else can be on their phone everyone else can take selfies and videos and post videos with people's faces and I always make sure to be really careful and blur people out and be really mindful of where I'm filming or what I'm doing and the little bit that I do sometimes catch because I'm scared to have my phone on I'm scared to touch it I don't want to ever give someone an excuse to complain or report or do whatever it is because those people unfortunately haven't actually watched my content or looked at my content or heard me talk or Realize how important just being discreet is for me and how I understand that and how I really try your best to promote and help these people and these companies and these places, but also make sure to be discreet and make sure that everyone keeps their privacy. And it's a hard rope that we're constantly always walking all the time. So when we're in play spaces, when we're navigating this solo journey, it has always been, I don't want to be the girl that's like, I need to get a picture. I need to get film. I need to film this. Luckily, thankfully, every single time something like starts happening, they're the first ones who break the ice and they're just like, do you want us to take pictures? You want to take video? Do you want us to get this on film for him? Because they understand that you want to be a part of it. It's not that you don't want to be a part of it. You want to. And luckily, I have really good friends that usually bring out at least take a picture or video or something or text you or FaceTime or something, whatever we can do to make sure that you're included. as well. But it has been a lot of navigating. Navigating that early on, trapeze nights would really get me because that was always just our home. That was our place. That was where we went on date nights. Even with our friends there, it was always a place that we were going for a date night. Even if we knew a lot of people there or that was going on or takeover or whatever, it was always still like trapeze was our home. And that was our place that we went to escape the world together and to explore together. And we were very comfortable there. But I would go there for first Fridays or on a Saturday with friends. And I just, again, it would be just lonely. And it really was you that had helped remind me that I'm just going ahead for the both of us for next time and being the spokesperson. And I really had to tap into and still struggle. You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say, too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at RSS.com. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at RSS.com. It's perfect, obviously, and struggle with confidence and just owning it and being the face and the name for us. I'm proud to represent Hawkeop Chronicles, and it has been this ever-changing up-and-down rollercoaster, but now I am able to let loose and have fun and enjoy it and to be with the community and to just meet people and try and get our mission out there and Who we are? And introduce us. And so there's still a lot of assumptions. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. There's even a whole new set of assumptions now that you are going by yourself. Well, ones that I killed you. The biggest one. Is that I murdered you and you're in the basement. I'm alive. This isn't A.M. It's A.M.'s getting good. They're like, blink twice. Bye. I don't think it's good enough to catch my speech impediment. My Lazy Eye. He's very much real watch. He's here. He's alive. But yeah, there is a lot of assumptions. And there's nothing wrong with people who play like that. People's dynamics are like that. I don't want to say that at all. It's for us personally, just not what we enjoy or started this for. So my whole thing is I trust you and your judgment. And if you're usually good with it, I'm good with it. It takes me a lot to be good with anything. I know your comfortability level. So I know I'm more comfortable with a lot more things than you are. So if you're comfortable, I know I'm saying something. But it's this weird influx. Well, okay. So it's more than one thing. It's one thing is I'm disappointed because I'm out there. Yeah. F-O-M-O. Yeah. I'm just sad. I want to be there too. Yeah. And then. People text me or reach out to me like, well, just take off. You know, I can't do that. And so, and that just keeps happening. And so finally, I just put a post on Instagram that said, the equivalent is you taking Monday through Friday. Oh, just take Monday through Friday off. Every week. Yeah. Because there's something. Can you do that? No, you can't. It's unrealistic. Because Friday, Saturday, Sunday is my work. Monday through Friday. In that time, I put in 50 to 60 hours in three days. So people are just saying, oh, just come over. I can't. It's like telling you to call off Monday through Friday. In a leadership position, you just don't call. You just don't do that. You just don't do that. Yes, it's not hard for me to not go to work. Definitely more questions asked. Like, my whole position is to have an impact on the side. Yeah. And you're a hard worker, period. And you just go to your job like a normal adult person does. Yeah. So that was the biggest part, is I was just annoyed and frustrated. Like, I can't. I wish I could. For those of you that didn't know, he posted a post on Instagram a few weeks ago. That just was the wrong way. Including me. Yeah. Yeah. And then the last part of that whole post was this influx of these guys that have seen you and talked to you and then just reached out to me to get to you. Yeah. That's not how this works. I'm like, dude. It opened our eyes. I've never talked to you a day in my life. I think I'm going to trust my wife to go with you when I've never even met you. Uh-uh. A lot of them that have reached out to me, we've been at parties with them before, but never came up and talked to either one of us because I was there. And now that you are by yourself, I'm not, you know what I mean? And so it's like, give me a break. Yeah, it's really opened our eyes to different people and ways that people are approaching it and us. It's people that know better. And then it's the people that are just inviting you. Like, that gives, that's like a red flag. You know, it's hot couple. It's hot couple chronicles. I'm like, yes, Ashley does go to these things by herself sometimes because I'm at work. I get it. She's also working at these. That's the thing. We've talked about the, you know, we go to events. to have fun. And we go have events that we are working at. Because we have a brand to promote. And a podcast. And I'm not saying you're not going to have fun. Oh yeah. It's impossible to not have fun. We always have fun. But it's not that we're going freaking buck wild. It's just a different vibe. Yeah. And I know what you're doing. And no one else, they don't see it. And they think, oh, it's free game. Yeah. I'm like, why is it free game now? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not saying no one can talk to you. No. I'm not saying that. Like, you can talk to whoever the heck you want. You know that. But, you know what? If you're actually interested in somebody, a couple, a guy, a woman, whatever, you would include us in a group text or a group chat or something like that. If you were that interested, you would take that initiative and do that. I don't need this guy just trying to talk me into letting you talk to him by himself. That's not how this works. Yeah, yeah. It's been very eye-opening. It's been, we're navigating it. It's just annoying. Yeah, yes. It's been annoying. It's not even, it has nothing to do with you or our friends or anything like that. It's literally just outside people that have I have no idea what the fuck's going on. And have no perspective. And they see you as fresh me, like by yourself. And it's very predatory feeling to me. And I don't like it. Oh, I get it. It's been a roller coaster. Still not saying that we have it all figured out. It has gotten easier, has gotten better. I feel better. I feel more confident about it. I'm owning being by myself. I'm just kind of navigating. Playing and exploring and stuff but so far really for the last year has been me sticking really close to people we're very close to that you trust that you know and for the most part the same group of people and if I do play it's usually with those people that we've played with previously we've talked about things rules boundaries all of that and feel comfortable with but it has been this whole navigating feeling like I don't want to ever be holding anyone back or be in the way or tagging along with people. Because I don't want anyone to feel obligated to invite me. Just because they're going to something. And they know that I'm free. And you're not. I want people to want me to be there. I want people to want to have me there. I don't want. She's like. I don't want people to feel like they invite you. Or me. Or us. Or whatever. Yeah. Also I don't. Just be like. And that was the whole thing with that Instagram post was. I don't want people to stop inviting us. or the two things. Both, yeah. Because they saw just one post. I was in my field and I was being very transparent. And frustrated. And frustrated. And I just do it out there. And I got a lot of positive feedback, honestly. Like, because I got a lot of messages about, I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way a lot of times. Those people is why I made the post. Because I knew I was the only one that feels like something. But so I wanted to be transparent to be like, hey, it's okay to have this feel. This is how I feel. All of these feelings are valid in there. And I know as men, we're expected to be. No feelings. Yeah. No feels. Stone cold, totem of strict, whatever. Cool, calm, collected. And then when you're not, you're angry, which I don't know about anybody else. to be. Yeah. I would try not to. I'd rather. Yeah. Be frustrated. Voice my frustration. Yeah. And then. Work so early to get out of it. Not getting. Yeah. And move on. Yeah. Yeah. Learn from there. And all that to say is that it has been a. Again it doesn't sound like it. But it does. I think more comfortable now than I've ever been. Yeah. In this spot. In this space. And more. Ready to. Do more things. Travel a little bit. farther, do things even without my, you know, like kind of push off from that safe group of people. I think I'm finally there where I could actually go solo. I could actually start navigating this with people I don't know as much and try out some new clubs and some new resorts and new places solo. And we're going to continue this hopefully sooner. We're going to end this, but it's going to be for a minute. And unless that's what we're hoping one day, the universe allows it. So you don't have to work on weekends. But for now, it's going to be this for a minute. So we're just kind of navigating. It is what it is. And we're getting ready to make his calendar for next year's vacation times and figuring that out. We're going to do naughty and the rest is kind of in the air. We're going to really have to figure out the most important three things. And for now, this is just what it's going to be and how it's going to be. And we're navigating it. We're not perfect. We have feelings. We have emotions happen. We're just trying to figure out and navigate. Maybe somebody feels similar. Just because we are very public, they expect us to be the end-all, be-all, know-it-all about everything in the lifestyle. That's the thing. We are people who had cell phones that made a video and put it into the universe. That's what makes us different from anyone else. That's the only thing that makes us different is that we post this stupid stuff to the universe. In hindsight, we've only been in Lifestyle for five years. Yeah, that's not very long. Talking to all these people that have been in it 20, 30 years more, and they still have no idea what they're doing most of the time. And they're always navigating. It's never the same thing every time. And that's what makes it exciting, but terrifying at the same time. Because you never know, going into a night at Trapeze, yeah, you'd think you'd know what to expect, but it's never the same. There's never two times that's the same. That's kind of the exciting part of it. I love that part of it. Because we got into a situation there for a while where it was like Groundhog's Day. It was, yeah. We're going to go. We're going to dance. We're going to drink a little bit. We're going to eat. We're going to dance. We're going to go back. And this group of people with this group of people are going to go back and have an orgy. Yeah, breakfast, go home. And then we're going to the orgy's going to be over about 2.30, 3 o'clock in the morning. We're going to go out, eat breakfast. We're going to give everybody hugs and kisses, and we're going to leave. We'll see you in a month. Yeah. Yeah, it was very much that. It was like that for a while, and it got boring. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I've been trying to embrace and enjoy this, like, different dynamic, and this different way to explore and different things, and still figuring it out, still trying to figure out what all of this is for, not just that, but everything. It's ever-changing, always-changing, depending on so many different things, and you just never know. But I do, all that to say, I do feel like a year in, which is absolutely crazy. I still feel like I just started doing stuff alone, which is insane. I have the opportunity to go to Secrets now in November by myself. That's another huge event, but it's also an event that I do let my hair down. I don't have any host responsibilities for and stuff, so that's one that's just different than going to like a pad party or going to something on the weekend, a pool party or a house party or just a weekend party or something fun. Always the best time. Always fun. It's just kind of another like, well, you can't do that one. And it's just always a little bit of sadness. And no matter what, I just this year has taught me more than anything that I miss and love you. And I come home obsessed with you more every single time I do come home super horny. And that's the thing is call me picky, call me whatever you want to. But it's been very much just watch and hang along and come along and happy to be there is my phrase. And I am just happy to be there. I love it with my friends. I love being around. I like being in the community. It's just really reiterated that you're my person. And it has shown me that, you know, the glad I don't have to date people anymore. I'm glad I'm married. I say that at least once. Learning how to flirt again and doing all that through this by myself. without having you to bounce off of. Because I usually have a wingman. And we're very good at mingling. We're the best minglers you'll ever meet together when we're on our A game. When we are together and we're happy and comfortable. We can work a room. Yeah, so we know how to work a room. And it's easier to meet people. We have those nights where like, I just don't want people. We're going to hang out. We're going to have the best date night ever. But for the most part, it's just, All of the pressure on me to either be alone, be with people, same people all the time, or just get comfortable being uncomfortable, like we say. And that's been a lot more of that. And I've been starting to just bite the bullet and go say hi to people and introduce myself to new friends. And I've met so many new friends and new people. But it again, hurts my heart that you don't know my friends. You don't know so many of these people that I've been meeting and hanging out with and spending time with. And getting to know and everything, it's different just having a group chat or just telling you about what we talked about or whatever. It's just never going to be the same as hanging out with these people. And it's weird that you're not as close to certain people as I am. That's just strange because we've always had the same conversation, same experiences. We've always had the same experiences. At the same time. Yeah. Experiences that... And maybe it's because we... We got in the lifestyle together. We've experienced it all together. We learned about it together. We've never been on different playing fields. And this is our first time navigating being on different paths and different journeys. We've had to do a lot of self work by ourselves to get through it and to do it. And I'm grateful for that. I think it's helped my confidence of million percent and obviously struggle. Everybody's going to struggle here and there. But I think for the most part, I can walk in a room and I was proud of myself like this weekend I got ready at six o'clock in the morning and did everything drove three four hours to northern Atlanta and then got changed real quick ran out the door was there by five for a party lasted until one in the morning never once touched up makeup or looked at myself in the mirror or really cared at all it was it's been a lot of not touching up stuff not filtering not it's been a journey of just this is who I am and you're gonna see me probably out and about and you're You're gonna see that this is me. I'm not gonna just I'm just tired of filtering myself. I'm just ready to be myself and it really has helped me get a lot of confidence and having to learn how to talk to people and have conversations and just feel awkward and feel weird and be alone and it's okay to be alone. It's okay to stand alone. It's okay to sit alone. I've just never been alone. So just being out in public in a party space and being okay with just sitting down and watching and being content with Everyone's busy. Go, you know, have to preoccupy yourself or hang back and wait and just be okay with that. And navigating that some nights is a lot harder than other nights and feeling lonely and feelings and moments when like our song would come on or something or everyone would go to bed and you're kind of just left and you don't want to interject. So unless I was invited, I wasn't going to come along or hang along. So I was kind of hanging back or going back to the room or going. to find something to eat because everybody already ate those kind of those things and never expected and never thought about all those little details and i had someone at trap early on when i was feeling kind of uncomfortable just quiet and they could sense it and she said please talk about that on the podcast and talk about how it's not all this like we're hot wifing we're sexy confident walking in know what we're doing vixen or just these it's not always like that and it is awkward and it's weird and hard to especially when you've been married for 15 years. I'm learning how to flirt and date and I'm just an anxious weirdo and I just am awkward and I don't know what I'm doing so I've had to carry myself and I haven't had to rely on your you. You're just easy to get along with everyone loves you and you're the one who usually carries most of the introductions and conversations and you're the one who holds the people's names for me. That's also been a huge huge thing that has happened. is I've had to be in charge of learning people's names so I'm just honest with you right now I will not know your name until we've had sex probably but I try to make it three times because that's as good as I can do in my brain after three times of seeing your face I finally can start remembering for some reason I can't before that but I do see a lot of faces and meet a lot of people also might call you a similar name yeah similar Jennifer said Jessica what we used to do we're both not very good at names for a while there we used to just give them nicknames back in the olden days. But they were just nicknames for us. But for us. They were secret nicknames for us. And then we'd never, it'd take us just so long. It could be something simple like, you remember, Blue Hat. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It wasn't anything horrible. It was always just something, a feature that we saw about you. There were a couple that were pretty bad, but I'm not going to share those. A few, sometimes. But I think everybody is the same way. I think everyone has a few of those people that they have a nickname for. But for the most part, yeah, it was like Blue Hat or the Red Jacket. the guy who wears the red jacket all the time or just something stupid, a tattoo or something that we noticed about them. And it was easier for us to keep track of who they were. But you always were really good at remembering people's names after they told you. And I was never and I just never really had to be. You would just be like, that's Erica and Jim. And so I'd I'd get that information whispered in my ear before I go up to people. And now I just try to wing it and hope for the best. And then if I mess up, you just own it. And that's the thing is you just got to laugh about it. And 99% of people that I have conversations with are the same exact way and can't remember names. There's just a lot of people, a lot of faces. We meet a lot of people at a very fast pace. Very fast pace. I mean, you're going around just rapid fire, shaking hands and introducing. And also, most of our names, most of us are in the same kind of age range. And it's all Jessica, Jennifer, and Stephanie. And yeah, we all have the same names. So that also makes it very hard. Yeah, you're in a room with 14 Megans. How many Mikes or Michaels or Johns or yeah, everyone has the same name. If they're a little bit different, those tend to be the ones that I do remember. So we're trying our best here. It's been a wild, crazy ride. It is not ending anytime soon. Luckily, we have Libertine events next coming up and we are going to be there together. So this is the last event of the year that you will be seen at more than likely. And so come, come hang out with both of us. you'll get that hot couple in ga together hot couple chronicles podcast host together at an event they're co-hosting yes the event organizer is kate from wanderlust swingers yeah and then you have the 40 pineapples will be there and we're obviously be there i met them at naughty and the last thing she said to me was are we instant best friends she's like that's how that happens and i was like yes And we talked maybe a minute total, which was like three different times that we saw each other. It was very fast. You know, things were happening. The parade was going on. It was in the middle of the phone party. So we would see each other in passing. But I'm excited to actually get to talk to them and spend more time together. It's a smaller setting than not. Yes, and quieter, much quieter. And so I'm excited to actually get to know them. And they're such, I mean, I see their content. They're killing it all the time. And so she, Kate knows how to pick house for her party. She knows how to do it. And we're excited for that. And we will be together in San Antonio, Texas. And so if you want to see us together last time this year, October 11th through 13th, we will be there. Yes. And then I will be solo at Pineapple After Dark's Enchanted After Dark. We just released those tickets. That's going to be fun. It's more think less Halloween, more dark, witchy, cool vibes, classy, witchy, No costumes, just black lace, very dark. Yeah. Yes. Just think that vibe. And it's at a hotel. So you don't have to go anywhere. It's rooms and everything included. So you won't have to go anywhere. We'll have a whole hotel block. And then the party itself is on the rooftop. And there's a pool and a bar and food. And it's going to be really good time. I'm excited for that one. And I will be solo for that one. And that's it for the year. So far. So far. It's early. It's only August. It's only August. I'm sure there'll be some frequent things between October 25th and January. I'm pretty sure we'll come up with a few more things. I know swinger season is ending. And so it is getting a little bit quieter. But every time I think that we have our list down to nothing, something else comes to fill it in. and I just keep trusting the universe that it will keep providing for us and opportunities and stuff will keep happening and we will let you guys know first you will know first before anyone and yes go also also want to talk about t-shirts I've had a lot of people messaging and I haven't really not not these are this is these are from swingerniche swingerniche.com go check them out we love them the link is also below we have our podcast shirts I know you've seen us in them before Not That Serious Don't Make It Weird and they have The Hot Couple. If you would like one Cash App name That Hot Couple NGA and it's $25 and we will ship you and send one. I know people have been asking. It's hard when we haven't had them in person and everyone lives all over. So if you would like one of those make sure to message me and Cash App is That Hot Couple NGA. All of it is in our links and all of it is in there and it'll be $25 to ship but Yeah. I wanted to go over that. Make sure that you like, share, subscribe, check out all of our pages. Comment. Give us all the reviews, all of the things. Help us out. Get us out there. We're still a baby podcast and we're still learning and we're still little. So we need your help and we appreciate you guys. On that. Yeah. Did you say we were in Canada? 58, number 58. Number 58 in Canada's For Sexuality podcast. So I was pretty excited about that. Our northern neighbors. Yes. So excited. about that. Appreciate you guys. That's exciting. We'll take it. We'll take every little one. We love it here. And we just want to keep on trusting that it's going to lead us to where our hearts are going. Not sure where it's going. Not sure where we're headed, but we're just trusting in it. And this one here reminds me every single day that we don't need to know the how. Yeah. Don't focus on the how it's going to happen. Just focus on the process and that it is going to happen. Just believe it will. And so. So we're trying to overthink her and one that just trusts. Feels so. Revealed. We're trying. We're trying. We're gonna get there. We're just happy to be here right now. And that's my phrase and very much sums up this whole crazy experience is I'm just happy to be here. Happy to know you guys. Happy to have you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. And I think that's all. As always. It's not that serious. Don't make it weird. We love you guys so much. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.