Suggestions on profile Improvement ?

Hi. I think everyone covered the high points and I don't have much to add, but I do have two things. First, I want to encourage you to only use words where you're sure of the meaning ("enigmatic" is not particularly favorable for recommending you to others, for instance). The second is that whatever your opinions about photographs, it would be helpful if you understood what they were for.

Is resting bitch face your natural expression or are you actually generally more animated? If it's the former, that's fine but the problem is that women will turn you down because of it. Men will only care that she is hot, but women are going to imagine that expression above them when they're fucking and say oh hell no. I'm guessing that's the source of the comment about him not being attractive.

You are already operating with the deficit of being very young in a subculture where most are over 35. If you can present yourselves as being lively, fun and a pleasure to be around, that would help. That's what photos are for, so if you have any of that in you, show that instead.

Good luck.

CatchyNickName - you should give seminars in profile writing!

We've always found our best profiles come from a mutual writing session. I (Mr. C) will tweak things from time to time, but the meat of our profile is always composed together. My suggestion would be that the two of you get a bottle (or three) of wine, sit down at a computer together and start by surfing profiles. Look for things that make YOU want to reach out to the other couple. Don't look at pics, don't look at screen names, focus solely on the taglines and the text of the profiles. Take notes on what makes BOTH of you want to IM a couple.

Those notes will help you write your profile because it's a summary of your tastes. Talk about what you really liked, why you liked it, and how you could say the same thing in your own words. Your husband may do better since English is his native language, but profiles written by women seem to get more attention than those written by men (yes, you can often tell) My advice is to write it together, relying on both his writing skills and your word processor to make sure it's grammatically correct.

Should you mention you speak Spanish, or that you're Cuban for that matter? Probably. That makes you more approachable for those whose native language isn't English, and adds a touch of the exotic to your profile. Some folks are attracted to different nationalities and/or races. I'm a sucker for foreign accents, for example.

Let us know when you're done with your edits and/or have new pics. We're glad to offer feedback on the updates when you're ready!

I would mention that you speak Spanish. It could make other Spanish speakers interested.

I might have to get my husband to do it. I speak worse than I write believe it or not. English isn’t my native language actually.
It’s Spanish.
Should I mention that as well ?

If you take pictures of you doing fun things - like goofing around at the pool or telling each other silly jokes when posing in front of a local attraction then your smiles will not look forced. Take a bunch of photos of each other (way more than your would ever need - it's not like you have to get film developed and spend a lot of money) and keep the best few.

Hopefully MsMolly will pop by soon - she gives some of the best, specific advice on text. But you'll want to take your time and compose it off-line. That way you can get it looking the way you want to without having to wait for SLS approval every time you save it before you can make additional changes.

You want to make your profile sound like you - write it the way you speak.

Thank you for the feedback. As for the poor writing , that’s mainly my fault. Aside from typing this in a huuuge rush, I’m also not from here. I was born and raised in Cuba. English is my second language and I only wanted to expand my vocabulary.
This doesn’t go against you guys , because your feed back is great, but we aren’t fans of forced smiles in pictures. He sure isn’t. We take them in the moment to capture it. It just feels generic, bland and tasteless to take a picture for the sake of perception(which is easily manipulated). I’m essence we like to be honest with others as much as we do with ourselves. Honestly I would never have guessed that to be the case. You are absolutely beautiful women. It’s insane to believe that I would attract that much affection.

Not getting a response is a fact of SLS life - many people consider no response to be their response. Another fact of SLS life is that Better Profiles advice often feels like you're on the receiving end of a public beating - but we're trying to point out the things about your profile that cause people to turn away from you. Everything said is about your profile - not you as people.

I agree with CatchyNickName - compose your profile text in a word processor on a computer and run the spell check and grammar check before posting it to SLS. That will catch a lot of the problems with your text that make you look like sloppy kids trying to act like grown-ups. I know I'm way past your upper age limit but I would have had the same impression thirty years ago. You generally only have one chance to make a good impression here so your profile has to look its best - and yours looks like it was composed on a phone where you can't see enough to make sure the details are handled properly. At times your choice of words makes me wonder if English is not your native language or if you're just using unfamiliar words to impress people.

In Looking For you need to add the information about single men that is currently in Additional Comments (and change your toggles to show a little bit of interest in single males or they can't see your profile). Are you looking for NSA one-time encounters or on-going FWB or something in between?

In your Description you can leave out the information that is covered in your stats (height, weight) or that shows in pictures. And believe it or not - less talk about sex and more talk about everything else about you will make you more appealing to a lot of people. You speak about connecting with people and perhaps hanging out - so, what are we going to talk about? I have no idea about you except that you're young, beautiful and like sex.

Fantasies/Experience really needs something - this is really where you want to talk about sex. Generalities are sufficient - explicit details can be saved for people you're planning to meet. Have you done full swap, same room, different room, MFM, FFM, FMF? Do you go to clubs or LS parties or hotel takeovers? Mention role playing if it is something you enjoy but save the details (school girl/teacher, doctor/nurse, etc.) for those in person conversations.

You'll need something positive and enticing in Additional Comments since what you have there really belongs in Looking For.

My picture advice is simple - smile (neither of you look approachable with a neutral expression), watch for clutter and/or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies (bathroom selfies are especially bad). I agree that you need to delete all your pictures and start over. Anything overtly sexy in your public gallery will probably not work in your favor as others have noted.

Again - all the horrible things I've said are about your profile - not about you two. Do some rewriting and have someone take new pictures of you and come back so we can help you fine tune it if necessary.

Good luck!

~Phoebert's Wife

Honestly, I think your biggest issues is your ages and there really isn't much you can do about that.

Most swingers tend to be between 35-55 because that's the age when you are secure in your marriage and the kids are old enough to be babysat or watch themselves.

However, I think that your core demographic - ages 35-39 has a poisoned pill. Most LS women ages 35-39 have already shit at least one kid out of their vagina. They have stretchmarks. And here comes a hot 21 year old girl trapsing into their inbox. No wonder they shut that shit down? I'm pretty confident in my husband's attraction to me, but I'll be dammed if I have to listen to him for a week talking about Claudia, Claudia, Claudia.

Your husband isn't unattractive. The problem is that nobody wants to tell you the truth. The other woman is probably vetoing you as a couple because she doens't want her husband to fuck anyone who is as insanely attractive as you. In other words, Claudia. You're too hot. Like... way too hot...

As crazy as this sounds, my "averageness" is probably the key to my success swinging. I'm no so good looking that I intimidate other wives, and to men, I'm "attainable." I am "cute." I will never be "hot." I am a sexy teacher, not a bombshell model.

As crazy as this sounds... what if we gave you a "make under." Literally, what if we made you less attractive?

I want you to delete all of your pictures. I also want you to get a pair of oversized, circular glasses with fake lenses. Then I want you to take three new pictures and use that as the basis for your new profile.

Take a picture of you two dressed nicely like you are going to a nice dinner or a wedding. I want you to wear a maxi dress and heels, but nothing revealing. He should wear a collared shirt or whatever. A third party needs to take this picture. Don't take a selfie.

Take another picture of you doing something fun - at a ball game, at the movies... whatever. But it has to be full-body and taken by someone else. Don't wear makeup in this picture.

Third, take a picture at the beach or a pool, but I want you to wear a simple one-piece and a sun hat instead of a bikini.

I think that by showing less skin, you will be less intimidating to women and find more success. I want you to be "cute" not "hot." a 21 year old hot girl is intimidating as gellhell to a 36 year old woman. Cute... not so much. I opened a private folder for you to be a guide on how to do this.

Take the new pictures and repost.

Everything you hear will be coming from a place of support from people that want you to succeed, but it may not sound like it. Honest feedback can sting a little (in this case probably a lot, so sorry in advance), so think of it like medicine: It may not leave a good taste in your mouth but it's meant to make things better.

The first thing that leaps out is your ages. We have some friends in the LS that are roughly your ages that went through something similar, and found they have to go to clubs to meet people. They just can't get a response online.

Why? Here's a synopsis of what they said: You'll find many folks that won't respond simply because you're (in their opinion) far too young to be in a truly committed relationship, you lack emotional maturity, they won't have anything in common with you, and/or they feel threatened by your youth.

You're fighting an uphill battle, so here's a few things I would recommend changing, keeping in mind you want to INCLUDE as many potential playmates as possible which means avoiding EXCLUDING as many people as possible:

You have lots of typos, misplaced punctuation and misspellings, all of which feed the narrative you're just a couple kids. Grammar across the board needs work. Write this in Word or something similar, look for the highlighted errors, correct them, then past it into your profile

The tagline reinforces the perception of your ages and maturity level. Find something that encourages people to reach out to you. Browse profiles from another city and steal something that makes YOU want to contact THEM.

"WE" is capitalized. It sends an aggressive message...WE are, implying some unnamed THEM is not. Let's hear the positives about you, and avoid anything that hints there's a THEM period.

Not everyone is looking for a unicorn. Lines like that alienate folks, which is the opposite of what you want to do. True story...whenever we read that in a profile, we automatically nope-the-fuck-out because it sends the message that they're really after Mrs C, and Mr C is being taken for the team.

Troll is not a word to use to describe someone in a profile.

There's a lot of words that give the feel you're plucking words out of a thesaurus to flesh out your profile. Write it in your own words, because that's who's going to be at the meet and greet.

The rest is...muddled. It's not clear, it's not consistent, and it's far too wordy. Thin it WAY down.

Velma will chime in on pics for sure, so listen to her. She knows what she's talking about. Here's my advice:

You're both great-looking people. You're pretty, he's handsome, you both have great bodies, but the pics don't do you justice.

In general, his pics (honestly) suggest he has the male equivalent of 'resting bitch face'. If he's not smiling in the pic, ditch it. He's handsome, but his blank look is very off-putting because it suggests he's emotionless/boring/dull. The fact your profile pic ONLY shows his mouth just enhances the perception. Re-crop so you can see both of your faces and SMILE.

This is going to sound harsher than anything said so far, but remember, it's meant to help: From junk in the "junk in the trunk" pics through bland expressions to a raised middle finger, there's something in each pic that might turn someone off. I'd literally start from scratch, take a bunch of new pics like Velma will recommend and SMILE.

Sorry if it stings. Remember it's meant to help.

Hi beautiful people ..
I am Claudia and my beautiful husband Is Jayson
I would really appreciate some help from the community (mainly women) , would you please take a look at our profile, and tell me what is wrong with it? We have been in the lifestyle for 2 years and recently was just told my husband isn’t attractive ?? Also we have reached out to many couples who review our profile but literally won’t say anything back. It’s sorta weird to not even get a response of rejection. so maybe We are missing something, or maybe We wrote something wrong, or maybe our pictures do not look good, Or maybe something else ? I would really appreciate some help and feedback please.