SM seek profile help

Thank you Privateice for the input.
I have added to the profile and am working on posting better photo's of myself.

@zigfeld

Your new profile is MUCH better. Now you REALLY need pictures.

Go read the "How to Take Profile Pictures" thread which has been pushed off the front page and is probably on the second page of threads. There is some excellent advice there. You MUST have pictures. You are in good shape. You MUST have pictures. MUST MUST MUST. You may be shy, but you are shooting yourself in the foot. Even selfies (which are the kiss of death) are better than no pictures. When you have no pictures, people think you are hiding something, or hiding from someone. You aren't, so have pictures.

There is nothing in your profile which is off-putting now, but there is also nothing which is magnetic.

What you need now are what Velma calls "hooks."

You need something to talk about at your first meeting. Tell us what kind of hobbies you have, what sector your job is in "I work in public safety" or "I am an electrical engineer for a small semi-conductor company," things that you DO. Do you have a rare breed (or mutt) dog, like concerts, enjoy Ham Radio, etc. Pain a fuller picture of yourself as a human being besides sex. The people you meet will want to get to know you BEFORE they have sex with you. The only way to break the ice and be NOT shy is to get to know people. The best way to do that is to have something to talk about first. Tell them something interesting. The best profiles hook people into who you are as a human being before you get to bed.

Hey guys,
I have taken your advice and have started a rewrite on my profile, I immediately deleted my old profile.
It is still a work in progress as I wish to take my time and do it right,.
Thanks to all.

Thanks! It will be great to have some space again - and not having to arrange a place to stay every few days.

Well, the French call an orgasm la petit mort, or "a little death", so maybe it's more appropriate than you thought...

Congratulations on your new home!

At a guess, Velma was imagining you as the perpetrators. Which, when you think about it, is kind of a compliment. ;-)

R&K - the law enforcement comment related to Velma thinking we could be starring in our own Criminal Minds episode - swinging couple traveling the US in an RV (no certs, no pictures) looking for single men. Still not sure if she thought we would get murdered or be doing the murdering!

Yeah - I've figured out swingers are everywhere! Pretty happy about that fact.

You're forgetting that Mom will be living with us - nothing like an 87 year old Mom to bring the party to a screeching halt!

No worries - if I don't sign my posts you have no way of knowing which of us it is!

I actually loved Velma's comment - made sense to me and she has no way of knowing that Phoebert formerly worked in law enforcement! I knew what I was getting into - I had read enough other posts before throwing myself to the wolves.

We close on a house in a few days and I'll be doing a major rewrite of our profile - changing our location (YAY - no more having to explain that we're traveling and not in Orlando) and relegating the traveling in an RV reference to history.

Sounds like the OP is taking the advice in stride - hope he comes back with a rewrite for review.

I'm so sorry, Wife. I did not mean to diss you in any way.

I remember that. I winced a little at that one (although I didn't entirely disagree), but you were lovely about the whole thing, and I've never had any doubt you'd do well, should you stop moving long enough for fun people to catch you.

Molly - I often wish there were buttons on the forum to "love" or "agree" with various postings - you'd be feeling all the love!

I know from personal experience that y'all don't dislike the person - Velma accused our profile of sounding like the start of a Criminal Minds episode. Happy to report that no crimes committed during our year of travel. Very little swinging due to our schedule but no crimes!

And I'm the Wife - Phoebert doesn't really get on here much except to see what single guys I want to meet.

Phoebert, you're a gem.

"...it is the profile they dislike, not you."

This is completely true. Your profile makes me want to slap something, but it's not because I hate you. It's because what is in your profile is self-defeating if your aim is to get laid, which I'm guessing it is. I also want to eradicate whatever misapprehensions you have about the nature of what appeals to women that swing so that you won't also shoot yourself in the dick when you email women and couples.

We're looking for single guys and you're our age and I probably would immediately run from your profile. Molly phrased it very well and her reaction was milder than mine.

Follow Velma's formula for some real-life pictures to put in a public gallery. You don't need a lot of pictures - just enough for people to get an idea of what you look like and who you are. Put any nude photos in a private gallery and label it "nudes" or something similar so anyone wanting to see them can ask you to open that gallery for them. Do not open it for anyone that doesn't ask.

Listen to Molly, Velma and the others - they give great advice and they want you to be successful. I'm still working on my profile based on their advice and things are getting better. Read other threads in the Better Profiles forum for advice they've given to others - some of it will apply to you as well. And you will see that they don't sugar coat their opinions of profiles - but it is the profile they dislike, not you.

Wow, first, I wish to thank you all for your honest and frank advice. I had no idea I was so off base when I first wrote my profile.
Your advice and future advice from other members on this site will be used when I edit or rewrite my profile.

Do not post nudes. Do not describe your cock. Do not have photos of your cock in any gallery that you open to anyone. There are a few women who might want to see a photo, but the rest of us do not.

And that's probably the nicest I'm going to be, because for some reason your profile has me all out of patience. I'm not going to be mean for the sake of being mean, but you are so far in your own way and so unlikely to succeed with this approach that I'm not even going to apologize for being blunt as a mother fucker. Dude, you are in your 60s. Why in the name of all that's holy would you think "Me so horny" was a great introduction to women?! Have you not been paying attention your entire adult life? The rest of it isn't great either.

Okay, now that I have that out of my system (although you need to change that tagline posthaste before every woman within a 100 miles consigns you to the dust heap), your profile has issues, not the least of which are shaky grammar, worse syntax, and a misunderstanding of what a profile is for. Oh, and your word choices are sometimes poor.

In Looking For, please use this section to say something about the people you are looking for. If you're looking for couples and women, say so. Then say a little about what you're looking for, in this case it appears to be compatibility and long term nsa partners, and something about your aim, which appears to be friendship when that's possible. The part about loving it when women take the lead belongs, if it belongs anywhere, in Fantasies. The part about not having experimented is not something I can reconcile with what you have in another section, plus it doesn't belong here anyway, because it's about you and that's not what this section is for.

In Description, you needn't duplicate what's in your toggles, so your age can go, it's Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll, and I have no clue why you think women would like such an exact description of your dick, but you are wrong. The part about loving to eat pussy and 69 belongs, if it belongs anywhere, in Fantasies or Additional comments, but, fun fact, most women interpret loving mentions of pussy eating as code for "can't reliably get it up," so you might want to think about that. Instead, talk more about who you are as a person and what you like to do. You have a bit of what actually belongs here, but there isn't enough. Be real.

In Fantasies, it's not meant to be an opportunity for you to display a corner of your spank bank, so the image of two "girls going at it..." can just go. The rest of it is impossible to reconcile with what you said above about normal "sexism." Which is the wrong word and I think you mean sexuality. Anyway, these things don't go together. If you've done these vacations, etc., as part of a couple, that's a good thing to mention, because it will make a difference to some of us.

In Additional comments, the whole thing can just go. I can count on two hands the number of people who don't experience awkwardness upon meeting strangers. Unless you're incapable of doing anything but staring at your shoes and mumbling for the first hour, you can safely leave this part out. If you are a mumbler, then you need to get out and practice meeting people until you've done it enough that you don't burden people with your discomfort.

Instead, use this section to end on a high note.

Run the whole thing through spell check, read it out loud to catch the syntax and word choice errors and then insert blank lines in between paragraphs so that your profile looks less like a collision.

I don't think one pass is going to give you an useful profile, so my suggestion is to make some changes, add photos, get everything approved and then come back for a review.

Good luck.

Please do not post nudes.

I gave you access to my private section where I have non-nude pictures of my husband that demonstrates the kind of pictures you should have.

Note that this will involve you going out and asking waitresses to take your picture. IF you feel self conscious about this, GET OVER IT.

If you are not in shape, I strongly suggest that you consult with a doctor,and then start following the Couch to 5K program to get yourself running. Do a 5K and have someone take pictures of you at the finish line. If you don't have access to a beach or a pool, go to a hotel that has a pool and pay day rate and use the pool. Have someone take pictures. With very few exceptions, the only place you should be shirtless is a pool.

Thanks for the quick response. Your advise is greatly appreciated as I had no idea as to what type of photos,besides nudes, would be best to post.

Normally I try to review the photos. But you don’t have any photos in your public section.

As a single male 64 with no photos near Public section you essentially have zero chance of getting anything out of this.

I normally suggest that single men have three-quarter pictures-a date pic an event pic and a beach pic.

You need to show us what you would look like on a date, what you would look like an event like a 5K or rock climbing or a baseball game. Then you need to show us what you look like at the beach.

Remember you’re not just competing with every other single mail out there, you’re competing with our husbands. I am married to a Triathlete. So you can imagine where my bar is set.

Get some pictures in there and we can review.

Hey gals/couples,
I need honest constructive opinions on my profile.
I thought best to be as honest and open about my physical attributes (cock size, health & age) so as not to mislead any ladies.
Not exactly experienced as most of ya to how to seek partners of this lifestyle although have experienced the physical aspect it without realizing
it was swinging. Back in the day, I thought just having a normal sex life.
Anyway, any suggestions on improving the profile would be helpful.
Thanks