I rally don't come on here much anymore because of this pandemic, so I'll make this quick.
I opened a private gallery for you to see what kind of pictures you should have. Follow my directions in the private gallery. Just understand that if there wasn't a pandemic, I would reject you because there aren't any pictures of the guy. So if there aren't any guy pictures... there is usually a reason why.
I just took another look and I get the impression that you originally created this profile to play as a single lady and didn't change some old text when you added information about him.
You may want to create a new profile with a name that doesn't imply "single lady" and have SLS transfer your membership to the new profile.
I don't really have any specific advice for improving your text, beyond what MsMolly suggested.
Good luck, have fun and stay safe!
Hi. I'm tired, so I'm only going to do a quick and dirty critique.
What you have is mostly okay, but you have some misplaced punctuation (and far too many exclamation marks), could pare things down a bit, and really should read it all out loud to catch some wonky syntax. However, the biggest issue is that since your profile is more than eight years old, references to the bird (long gone) and being not quite newbies are just not appropriate and make it seem as if you filled this out six months or a year in and never changed a thing since.
And the corollary is the risk that folks reading it will assume your ages and photos are just as static and unchanged as your profile appears to be.
I also don't find you all that relatable and I should, given the wealth of words. Maybe a little more about who you are as people rather than as potential bedmates? And a little less of the rest in each section?
So, basically, read everything aloud, fix what doesn't flow, cut down some things, eliminate anything that still sounds shiny and new (or explain the discrepancy), give a tiny snapshot of who you are in your vanilla life, and work on punctuation.
Oh, and, yeah, photos of the two of you together.
Good luck. I hope you make some changes and come back for refinements.
At a minimum you need a few pictures of him and of y'all as a couple - otherwise it is hard to believe there really is a couple behind all the words.
I don't have time right now to really study your text but there appears to be a lot of repetition. Your personality comes through nicely so you don't need to pare it down very much.
I'll have more time later and might have some additional thoughts.
~Phoebert's Wife
Would welcome any feedback or suggestions on how to improve our profile overall. Thank you guys so much.
