I learned that the hard way - made some changes and didn't realized they hadn't been approved yet when I made some more changes. I was making minor tweaks and the approval process was taking longer that day (sometimes it is very quick and sometimes it takes forever depending on their work schedule). So then I had to try to remember the really great text that got lost!
Thank you everyone for all the info - keep it coming.
I’ve already made changes to my pics, but I don’t have many so that’s one area that will take more time.
I’ll wait for a little more feedback and then make changes to my profile due to the wait time to get it approved. I liked Phoebert’s wife’s recommendation to do it in a word processor and copy and paste it all once I have a solid grasp.
I was hoping to get laid, so... ;-)
Hi. I'm the mean one.
My husband certainly didn’t think so...
Hi. I'm the mean one. But my intentions are benign and I have a special interest in helping men succeed in ways that make women feel valued and fulfilled. The sex is better for everyone that way. And I think good sex makes the world a much better place.
So, first, emails. What works for me is something along the lines of: Hi. My name is X. I read your profile and really liked Y. I've opened my face photos (no dick pics unless you ask, I promise). Let me know if you'd like to find out if we have a mutual attraction. (Please note, do not ask for anything. Not photos, kik, nada.)
As to your profile, I'd keep the uniform out of your photos, not for fear of the UCMJ, but because it's more information than should be offered to strangers.
Your tagline just makes me tired. I know what you mean, but the way you've written it makes you sound like work. Try something clever instead. If that's a stretch, then something that is about what you can do, not what others can do for you.
Your age range is fine for dating - well, no, actually it's a little skeevy because there's no way in hell I'd want 18 year old daughter dating someone 19 years her senior - but it's unnecessarily narrow for playmates. One reason is that you're not capturing the large number of women who are mid-40s to mid-50s. Another is that any woman over 35 seeing a 37 year old man who thinks a 46 year old woman is too old is just going to shake her head and dismiss you from her mind. And there just aren't a lot of women in the 18 to 35 year old range who swing, so your pool is now tiny. I solemnly swear there are amazingly hot women who are 46 and up and they're often the ones looking for men in their 30s.
In Looking For, you can lose everything before "I want to connect with..." What's left isn't very interesting, but it's serviceable. Maybe do a little more thinking about the kinds of people you're looking for and let that inform this section, which is meant to be about those other folks.
Description is decent, although I don't have much of a sense of who you are as a person. Or at least I refuse to believe you're as bland as you appear. Unbutton a little so people can see you, not just the tiny glimpse where you say you prefer quieter places. Does that make sense? The part about being all for meeting prior belongs in Additional comments, which is good because you've currently left it blank and you shouldn't.
Fantasies is good. Make sure you update it as you gain experience.
So, basically, you've put some thought into your profile and that's good. I saw the earlier version and this is a definite improvement. However, I think you're probably an interesting man and that's not really all that apparent. I feel like I should be offering specific examples of what you could do, but don't have enough of a sense of you to do that, which is the core of the problem.
Show up a little more, change your photos, and come back for another whack at this.
Good luck.
Velma is great with pictures - I'll just add watch for distracting clutter in the background, avoid selfies and smile. I do agree with her that the race picture is the only current one worth keeping.
Your profile text has some information in the wrong sections - especially too much about you in Looking For.
I'd leave out the text about not being bi - your stats identify you as straight and you show no interest in guys - no need to essentially repeat yourself. I'd also remove most, if not all, of the references to being new - hopefully that will change soon and you'll just have to update again. Let your start date imply that you are new.
In Fantasies the line about hotwife situation is enough until you know more of what you'd like to try.
I find it easier to copy my profile text into a word processor and make all my changes over a longer period of time so I can think about things and try different wording. Then when I'm all done I copy each section back to SLS - have to wait through fewer approvals that way usually. Once you get that final approval go back one more time and adjust the drinker/smoker information since it defaults back to "want drinkers/want smokers" every time you make a change & get them approved. As long as the drinker/smoker info is all you change then no additional approval is needed.
As for initiating contact - be sure to read profiles thoroughly and don't send generic emails. Find something in the other person's profile that you can relate to. If writing to Velma you'd talk about races; people ask us about our RV trip. When you add more pictures and possibly have some a private gallery without your face obscured you should open that gallery for the email recipient (and tell them you've opened it). Ladies that want to see risque pictures or body parts will ask - so if you have a gallery dedicated to those you can open it upon request.
Have fun & good luck!
~Phoebert's Wife
So, to start, I opened a private gallery for you to show you the kinds of pictures you should have.
Couple of things:
First off, I married an 11B who retired as an E7 with 4 combat tours in OIF and OEF - and this wasn't jerking off in the TOC kind of deployments. My husband used to take hills from Taliban who really wanted to keep them.
I know the Army is important to you, but if I were a dependent, the last thing I would ever want to do is swing with a soldier. It just smells like a UCMJ violation - especially since swinging is considered adultery. So tread lightly.
#1. Get rid of the Army picture. I know you're proud you're a paratrooper. It's just too dangerous to have around.
#2. While I don't advocate lying, I think you should change your location to Raleigh. It's safer that way.
Keep the Spartan picture. Ditch the others and get new pictures that follow my method of a DATE pic, a BEACH pic and an EVENT pic. The Spartan race is your EVENT pic.
Take those pictures and repost.
My profile is back up - let me know!
It seems my profile is blocked while some edits are waiting approval. I'll repost when it's back open.
I'd like to get some feedback on my profile and how to improve it. I haven't been on here very long and want to increase my chances of meeting up with someone. I realize I'm already at a disadvantage to being a single male (as opposed to couple or single female) and want to set myself up for success as much as possible. Any recommendations are appreciated! Also, I welcome info on what the content of emails/IMs I send out should be. Thanks.
