Profile advice

Gbg, PA, Us

Velma, Ms. Molly, and Phoebert's Wife,
Thank you very much for taking the time to give me some really good constructive criticism. I can tell you all put a lot of thought in your responses and I greatly appreciate it.
I did know my pic was lacking, the crossed arms is definitely standoffish which is not what I'm looking to portray. Being an engineer for almost 3 decades I do a lot of technical writing, that is probably why it comes off as sanitized and impersonal. The biggest surprise for me is you all seem to agree it reads as defensive. I will have to look very carefully at what I say and how I say it. You all gave me some good starting points for a complete overhaul.
Thank you again and have a great day!
Dom

Fort Payne, AL, Us

I don't have much advice about your text - it's adequate and MsMolly pretty well covered the deficiencies. I also agree with her that you sound defensive - or maybe it is just that the tone is so matter-of-fact. To be more inviting maybe include some non-sexual information about what makes you a fun guy to be around.

Your biggest problem is pictures. The default picture looks odd but OK when cropped for the small view but the full picture is not so good - you look like the bouncer at a bar ready to toss someone out. Get someone to take a picture of you in a less threatening posture - most anyone will take your picture for you (waitress at a restaurant, random stranger at the mall). Even if you crop or obscure your face you should smile - it affects everything about you. Watch out for visually chaotic backgrounds.

And check the "want drinkers/smokers" toggles when you're all done. After every profile review they revert to the defaults of "want drinkers/want smokers". So once your profile is showing the way you want it, go back in and change those toggles to your actual preference and save again. As long as that is all you change then profile review is not needed and your choice is really saved (until your next profile tweak).

Good luck!

~Phoebert's Wife

Phoenix, AZ, Us

Hi. I prefer married men. Granted, I now insist they have permission, but like Velma, when I was younger I didn't ask too many questions. Plus, motes and beams.

You look defensive in your one public photo. That alone is a very good reason to change things up. In your next set of photos, try something other than sandals and creased shorts.

Your tagline has at least one typo - it's dessert and I think you might want eat rather than eats.

Looking For is adequate. it won't set the world on fire, but it pretty succinctly sets out what you want and starts to introduce your biggest deficit. It's have A high sex drive though, and you might want to consider how to make this section less impersonal. Right now it's as if you're setting up interviews for a menial job. Remember, you're looking for people rather than items and the more personable you can be, the more likely you are to capture those edge cases who aren't entirely against playing with cheaters if they're attracted in some way. That isn't currently the case. So, think about a way to weave your limitations on time and scheduling into a narrative that also leaves room for the people you're searching for.

Description is also adequate, but it doesn't make you likable in any way. Who are you? What makes you interesting? Why would I take a chance on you and your baggage? Be real. You can probably keep the first paragraph, but you also need at least one more where you're human and interesting. Do you have hobbies or passions? Who are you when you aren't rigidly expecting rejection or whatever it is that I keep catching a taste of? That's what needs to also be here.

Interested in role playing is great. Do you have some particular roles that stand out? Maybe, without being graphic, give up a little more information. That second sentence is filler and needs to go. Either you have another fantasy you'd like to share or you don't. Do list any experience you have, including how long you've been doing this.

Additional comments is, once again, adequate but nothing that will set people to writing you an email. Unbend here, if you can, and end on a high note.

Good luck. Let me know if you need more specific suggestions and definitely come back for a review after you've maybe collected some more comments and changed your photos.

Virginia Beach, VA, Us

You’re in a tough situation, but I’m not going to berate you for your choices. Back when I was single, I didn’t ask men any questions when I climbed up on the bar stool next to them.

My best suggestion is to take some new pictures wearing more stylish clothes. Get at least one picture of you in a suit, one picture of you at the beach, and one picture of you doing something interesting like rock climbing or running a 5K.

Your current picture just doesn’t inspire anything and it looks like you’re phoning it in. Good luck.

Gbg, PA, Us

Hi, I would appreciate any input on improving my profile. I am looking for a specific type of female or couple that doesn't mind playing with a married man and actually prefers the discretion. I do understand this is not a popular approach on this site so you can save your berrating text. We all have our story.
Thanks, Dom