Profile

I see two big problems in your profile. First is that it reads really negative. You spend as much time saying what you don't want as with describing what you do want. That's really kind of a turn-off for a lot of folks, even if they fit what you're looking for, so I'd look at eliminating anything "don't want". Leave that stuff implied.

Also, your profile is extremely tentative. It reads like MAYBE she MIGHT consider thinking about playing with another guy. Honestly, I've run into this before, and for me at least, it's a red line that I don't cross. If a lady isn't sure that I'm the guy she wants to play with, that's legit, and I don't have a problem with that. But if she isn't sure if she's willing to play AT ALL, that scares the beejeepers out of me. I'm rather a stickler for having consent be VERY obvious.

Now, that doesn't mean that you should do something you aren't willing to do. Just be very firm and honest about what your limits are. Banish "maybe" from your swinging vocabulary, at least until you're a lot more comfortable with your place in this life. And be realistic about what this means in terms of who is willing to play by your rules. The more specific the rules, the smaller the pool of possible playmates that will be willing to consider meeting you. The flip side of that is that when you DO make a connection, it's more likely to be enjoyable.

I'm on my way home after getting fucked, so I'm in a pretty good mood right now. I'll be nicer than normal. I've got until my metro stop to pound this out.

I can think of a few problems off the bat. First off, put in accurate weights. I will skip over people who are zero pounds. If I have to deal with being a size 12, you do too.

Second, your situation is... unique. There aren't a lot of couples who are willing to play by your rules. The male half doesn't swap and the female half is straight - so basically you are looking for single men or couples where the woman is content just to play on her phone while her husband gets fucked. But even though the other woman doesn't get anything out of this, you still want to be friends and play lazer tag.

I'm not saying what you want is wrong, your desires is perfectly valid, but think about it from the other side. Are you worth the time investment?

You've been on for a year and are still taking baby steps? That's a big red flag for me.

I would normally suggest that you add in more pictures, but I don't think that's going to make a difference.

Your profile also smells like it was written entirely by the man and that the man is running it. This makes me question how much involvement she actually has. It feels like the male half might be pushing her into this. It may not be true, but it feels like it.

My best suggestion is contact the admins and see if you can convert your couples profile into a single woman profile. Have her run the profile and have her write exactly what she wants. There are plenty of single female profiles that say "my husband will be present" and such.

So maybe go down that route? Once you get the profile converted, have her re-do the profile and repost on here. We can re-review.

One note - picture wise you should have a few pictures of her dressed nicely - the way she will be dressed if she met someone for dinner. Don't give away the goods.

If you want me to help, you'll have to remove the block on single women. You can now do that without expressing any interest, but even if you show a sliver, I solemnly swear you won't actually hear from a woman.