Please critique

goodgollymsmolly98226, thank you!

I guess when it comes down to it, I really want a pic of the couple to accurately reflect what you are probably going to look like when you show up for dinner.

If you show up dressed as pirates or nude, i’m Probably going to make you walk the plank.

I guess when it comes down to it, I really want a pic of the couple to accurately reflect what you are probably going to look like when you show up for dinner.

If you show up dressed as pirates or nude, i’m Probably going to make you walk the plank.

Hi. You know what I really want? I want the sweetness of temperament you've shown here to be front and center in your profile. Because I think that's an accurate reflection. You're definitely closer and while I have some quibbles (more on that in a moment), I like the changes.

I disagree with Velma about the couple's photo, because I like costumes, and about the suit. I mean, yeah, it's nice to have one, but styles in men's suits change a lot more rapidly than they used to and it's rare that you actually need one if you don't wear one to work.

For your photos, I think you can lose the hay bale one and the blurry boob shot of her, as well as the prone and naked one of him. It's not that women don't appreciate naked men or that I don't know I'm an outlier when it comes to male nudity (I see naked torsos nearly every day), but a sharply dressed man is a universal favorite. You can do that with any well fitting clothes.

As far as your profile, love doesn't need to be capitalized and I think a noun after h/w proportionate would be a good idea (people? folks? something else?). I'm not entirely certain what you mean by being bi friendly. If you play straight but are happy to do so with bi people that's one thing, but being open to bi play is another thing and I can't quite tell what you're getting at. Also, you might want to add Diseases to Drama and Drugs and then lose the capitalization.

The problem with having stats in two places is that there's a chance to get it wrong and you have. I'd just leave your stats the way they are and remove the text. Oh, and the lol.

If you just do Pick Us!, etc. as its own paragraph, I think that's it for my quibbles.

The quality of the picture is just very bad - potato quality.

A man should own at least one suit- preferably charcoal grey. You can wear it to a job interview for a wedding or a funeral.

VelmaAndShaggy also why do you think the picture is that old? We were not even in the lifestyle in 2006. That picture isn't that old. LOL. A suit? I don't own one, but I do have dress clothes. Thank you Though!

VelmaAndShaggy thanks for your reply. We will have more pictures, just takes time, but it will happen.

It feels about the same - although you added a couples picture which is good - you just added the wrong couples picture.

I’ve never been a big fan of costume pictures because the whole purpose of a couples picture is to give you an idea of what you might look like if you show up for a date.

Please take my advice and take a normal picture at a Resturant in a suit for the man and a dress for the lady.

Get rid of the blurry boob pic from 2006 - you can take a better boob pic with the camera on your phone right now.

Is our profile better?

Me? It's not dislike, more that I think the approach you have taken will limit the number of people who would respond positively to you. I would certainly politely respond with a no thanks, but it wouldn't be because I disliked your profile or thought there was something wrong with you, it would be because I am only looking for people who sound and are contented and cheerful.

In a general sense, I think couching things negatively by focusing on what you don't want is probably a mistake, but that's because it turns off more people than saying similar things in a positive way. So, my objection isn't to the approach but to how it impacts the size of the pool that will say yes to you.

So basically you don't like anything we've written?

Hi. Here's your first paragraph:

"We are looking for couples that like to take care of their bodies, w/h proportionate. enjoys Dinners, good conversation and just having fun. Clean shaved preferred. There is no taking one for the team here so everyone must be on board or it's a no go. Not interested in Bi-Curious men. If your not feeling it after meeting us then say so. Don't leave us hanging and wondering. It's not fair and we will do the same. NO SINGLE MEN . DRUG and DISEASE FREE is a Must"

The only unequivocally positive section is "enjoys Dinners, good conversation and just having fun."

There's nothing wrong with only wanting those who are hwp, whatever that means, but the way you've written it, you're bluntly indicating that anyone who isn't height/weight proportionate decidedly does not take care of their bodies. So, negative #1.

Clean shaved preferred. Eh, again, we like what we like, but by putting it in the Looking For section, it appears as though "preferred" is just a way to soften a requirement. Most swingers are waxed/shaved/whatever anyway, but if you'd like to emphasize the preference, maybe down in Additional comments would remove the negative slant? Anyway, that's #2.

"There is no taking one for the team, etc." Did anyone suggest you should? I don't even know why this is here, because it's part of your private conversation and set of agreements, but in this context, that's negative #3.

"Not interested in Bi-Curious men." The section is Looking For, not Not Looking For, so while it's great that you're upfront about what you don't want, it doesn't belong in this section. And when you do address the issue, maybe a full sentence. So, that's #4.

"Don't leave us hanging and wondering. It's not fair and we will do the same." Same issue with this being the wrong section, with the addition of you're being prescriptive with adults, which is an error of manners, and it's also pointless because some people will not answer no matter what and demanding they do so will leave a sour taste for the rest of us. So, that's #5.

ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS is probably going to be viewed negatively, unless it's some sort of celebratory interjection, but in this case it isn't, plus again it's what you aren't looking for, so that's numbers 6 and 7.

There are a lot of ways to write things that highlight what you do want and some mechanisms for avoiding what you don't (toggling no interest in single men blocks them, so they won't even be reading your prohibition, so that's one that can go). It's always better to focus on the positive, if you can.

KellyJean2014. what's so negative about the first section?

Oh dear, not sure what changes you have or have not made at this point. All I see now is a very negative first section that I would not (and did not) read beyond. Goodness, this is supposed to be fun, and, well, you sound like you've been burnt one too many times and are jaded - I'm sure this is not at all what you meant to portray.

"We are an attractive couple" this is a huge pet peeve of mine - sounds like you are just too pretty for me and I'd pass for that alone (really). Again, could just be me.

njnybiwfemme, thank you for your reply.

You have been members of SLS going on nine years so what may also be keeping your prospects low is just that - nine years. If you have lived in the same area all this time you can assume most people (other than new members) in your area have seen your profile and already made a decision. Who knows why - the pics, the words, the ages, the fact both are straight, etc. etc. etc.

So how to stir up some positive attention? 1. perhaps change your default picture every month or so 2. dating your pictures so people don't have to guess if they are nine years old 3. I'd say if any of the pics are more than 3-4 years old to delete them because people will have seen them and again wonder just how old they are (the pics not you). 4. You can move your profile a town or two in any direction every couple of months - if people have their parameters set for X miles you could be just outside their search area. 5. Changing some of the wording and definitely your tag line periodically can't hurt.

As others have suggested adding a few clothed 'couple' pictures is key for a couple profile.

Hi. Of your current crop of 18 photos, 12 are of her and none are designed for anything but the male gaze. Unlike Velma, I'm the LGBTQ kind of bi and I'd be more likely to be attracted to a paper clip than a straight woman, but that doesn't mean I'm not affected by photos of all women. These are all provocatively posed, include too many body parts shots, and don't give me any sense of her which, if I'm going to be playing with a couple as a couple in a straight swap, still matters quite a lot. Plus, the six photos of him are reasonably informative as to body type, but don't give me the information I want. So, yes, take one of those photos of the two of you and move it, suitably anonymized, to your public gallery. If it's a good one, think about using it as your default.

Let us know when you're done tweaking. ;-)

goodgollymsmolly98226, thank you for your input. We do have three recent photos of us together in private galleries, and we have our cloths on. :) I suppose we could cover our faces and make them public. We also all ready have straight as our sexual preference. Are you referring to some more photos of him for the women? We did however, tweet our profile some. Again thanks for your input.

Hi. I don't actually see why you wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but your profile could use some help as it's not doing you any favors. The usual disclaimers here about seeming harsh, but designed to up your positive experiences and get you laid.

So, first, I can tell that you've already done some recent work on your profile (unless it's true that you only want drinkers and smokers), which may be why it's a little choppy. Anyway, before I get to the part where I take things apart, I'm with Velma on your photos. There is a lot of same old same old, plus there are no photos of the two of you together in street clothes. So, 21 pictures and only a very few catch my eye. I know you're not trying to appeal to women, but you should because either we're the ones looking at profiles or we're the ones who veto profiles and that's true even if we're playing straight. (Oh, and fun fact, I've played with straight couples as a single and as a couple and never had a problem with that and don't see why anyone else should.) So, please, photos that will appeal to women, which means no body parts shots and yes to photos of the two of you together in street clothes.

Your tagline is boring. But you have the remedy right there in the first section, where you can use either "Come on, you know you want to!" or "Pick us! Pick us! Pick us!"

In Looking For, it would help to start out with who you are looking for and then move on to what you want to do. So, maybe this is the time to say you're looking for couples who are or are willing to play it straight plus threesomes same. Also, if you only want HWP folks or if you're looking for funny, smart folks or whatever. This is the place to do that. Then full sentences about what you want to do, leaving out the part about respect and expectations, because those are fine sentiments but they don't belong here. Feel free to drop that down to Additional comments.

In Description, You can remove the stats. They're already in the toggles. And, really, include who you are as people, and that means things that are not sex related. Even if you're a one and done couple, it's often commonalities that determine whether you actually get the opportunity to play with someone. Explain the hot tub comment so that it doesn't seem like a non sequitur, and the last two sentences don't belong there but up in Looking For, where you probably want to explain or remove the right couple reference, because right now it looks like you're only occasionally full swap.

In Fantasies, I'm a fan of underplaying, but I think you've gone a little far. You've been in the lifestyle for nine years and either you have no fantasies left or you've developed some good ones. Plus experiences. This is also an opportunity to subtly reassure folks that straight or not, you're fun and sexy and definitely the right choice. So, maybe think about what should go there. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be something other than what you have.

Additional comments is kind of meh. I think you can do better.

So, collect whatever advice you get, make some changes, and then come back here and ask for a review.

Good luck!

Thanks VelmaAndShaggy. Actually I think the picture with no tattoo on the lower back is of him. Thanks for your feedback. :)

I don’t think your age is that big of a deal - although I really would move your sliders down to 30 or 40. If a lady my age want to fuck you live and you wouldn’t say no would you?

I think that some of your pictures are good and some of your pictures are crap. You also have the same kind of picture multiple times which is really weird. Why would you have the same picture multiple times? We already saw it. Stuff like that makes me think that you don’t know how to use computers which is not a turn on.

I also feel like the pics were taken in chronological order and you never delete anything. I think that some have a tattoo on the woman’s back blurred out and some don’t have a picture of the tattoo at all. That leads me to believe that your pictures are old and I don’t know exactly what I’m getting. I feel that way as well when I see pictures of men who have different lengths of beard - Discounting pictures of scruffy guys that were obviously taking on vacation.

You realize that there is not a single picture of you two together doing something normal? You’re not vacationing. You’re not ballgame. You’re not out on the boat together.

I would remove any pictures that are over two years old. I would also remove any duplicates. You really only need five. Male face and body. Female face and body. And a pic of you two together dressed nicely like you are going to church.

Try to get a pic or two of the male half in a suit-search to women are like Garters to men.

Make the changes and repost.

Please critique our profile. We know we are not everyone's cup of tea but do we need better pictures, our grammar? Is it our age turning people away? our location? Thanks