My profile is a mess Help needed

Sorry WanderingSoul - I thought it was simpler to respond about specific changes to the people who suggested them.

Please keep your responses here and don't blow up people's messages with private messages.

Your updated changes seem better, at least to me. You may get more input from others since your update. You do have essentially a dup picture (the ones with the ice cream) so I'd get rid of one of those.

I think your comments about Bi play are good and specific enough to let people know what you are and are not looking for.

As you can tell from the first post after your update, there just isn't pleasing all people, but I think that the way you have this written opens the door to the largest possible audience that you'd be comfortable playing with and less threatening to male SO's that may be worried you're out to try to steal their woman.

it looks like you've made some changes from when you first posted.

I'll add my thoughts on what I can see. Personally I pass on people who don't show their face in the pics. That makes me feel like we'll need to hide things or that you aren't comfortable with swinging. I realize that this isn't always the case, so understand that this is just my feeling when I see 4 pics with the face blurred out.

I would also pass on your profile when looking for a playmate for my FWB and I as it reads more like a m@tch-com profile rather than someone who's going to be ok with an occasional get together, or even a one time thing. I would worry that you were going to want more than we would be offering and I've been down that road before, it wasn't fun for anyone.

Your fantasy and experiences section is pretty week. Yeah, every guy wants a room full of women but that's not reality. So how about some we can actually work on helping you with?

And yeah, we get it, you really want a woman. You aren't bi curious, as you clearly state you are heteroflexible and that you really only prefer women but will touch a guy if her wife wants it. That's not in any way bi-curious. So as a bi couple, that would give me pause because you clearly don't WANT to be with the guy but may tolerate it. I've also been down that path and it's a no go for us.

Based on your second post, I think I'd slant things more towards finding a "partner in crime" vs a "soulmate". If the latter happens, that's great, but the #1 goal was to have more and better sex. IMHO the "soulmate" thing could come off as being a potentially clingy guy. It could also give pause to husbands thinking that you may be looking at their wife with that soulmate goal.

Even the "best friend" goal is something that develops over time, and you can't even meet them if they're initially scared off. The type of woman likely to be attracted by your verbage may also be one that is looking for something more monogamous, and that defeats your intent as far as I can tell.

I have run across single women that are looking for similar things (i.e, non-monogamous fun). If that is truly what you are looking for, I think you can word things better and in the process be potentally more appealing to couples in the meantime. Many couples know SFs that are looking for a nice respectable guy. Going through a couple that refers you is at least as (if not more) likely to help you find what you're looking for.

You have a prettty narrow age band and may want to consider opening it up on both ends. You can always say "No" to someone if they don't meet your other criteria, but many will respect the age preference by not even reaching out.

Otherwise, I think what is there looks pretty good. It is obvious you put thought into it unlike some that just come across like they want you to write their profile for them with as little effort on their part as possible.

Lastly, searching online is WAY less productive than attending local LS parties/events. It certainly doesn't hurt to have a good profile, but you are at least 10x more likely to meet someone of interest at a party/event than you will online, regardless of how good your profile is.

It would be in your best interests to put yourself out there in person. I realize you need to be discreet, so you may need to travel a bit to do this. Keep in mind that if someone that knows you sees you at an event, they can't likely tell anyone without outing themselves in the process.

In other words, you're so desperate you'll fuck anyone just for the human contact, but it has to be a super secret.

Is that about right?

Hi. It's actually not that bad, although you're emphatic in ways that might be giving people pause. I think that's fixable, at least to some extent, if you're being honest about your aims.

So, first, your tagline is not serving you well if, in addition to looking for the one, you're also looking for couples to play with. Parenthetically, if you're primarily looking for that one woman, btw, here is not a good place to start. If 10% of the single women in the lifestyle are on swinger sites, I'd be very surprised. So, please change your tagline to appeal to a broader audience. Short and clever is best - the purpose is to get people to open your profile and get to know you a little - but short and sincere is an acceptable second best. Don't be too informative here.

Your photos aren't my favorite and your Jedi costume might not be an accurate signal of your interests, but at least they show you full length. Maybe cut down on the current five galleries though?I
Your age range is not serving you. This isn't match.c om, where women are used to men making their upper age range much closer to their own age range than the lower one. Here that just gets you eyerolls and a thanks but no thanks.

In Looking For, please place greater emphasis on the couples you're much more likely to meet. Right now it looks as if they're an afterthought and no woman wants to think of herself as an afterthought, right? Nor is there a husband who wants a single guy who doesn't deeply appreciate his wife. At the very least, move the bit about couples to the first line and add the first three sentences from Additional comments. It would also very much help your cause if you compressed the existing however many sentences about your dream woman down to just two or three. Aside from the laundry list quality of what you have, it paints you as unrealistic. What if she only likes Star Wars or has different expectations of life, but is otherwise perfect?

The way to get around that - I'll spare you my thoughts on trying to find someone just like oneself, but of the preferred gender for romance - is to just stick with a couple high points.

Description is good, although you need to remove the quotation marks and eliminate the sentence about being a nice guy (that's a determination others make, not you, not least because the self-proclaimed nice guy usually isn't at all nice, except in his own mind).

Fantasies isn't my favorite, but it works. Additional comments, after you've moved the first bits, probably just needs to be cleaned up a little and is then fine.

I hope other people give their views. Best of luck.

To readers: These are my goals here

1. Have more and better sex.
2. Find a woman who would like to become my partner. I'm not specifically looking for marriage. A less formal faithful non-monogamous or open relationship would be OK. If more evolved from that, terrific. I want a reliable, steady sex partner who is my best friend and partner in crime.
3. Create opportunities to play with other couples and single females, with or without a full-time female partner. Bi or straight does not matter to me. I prefer women and play only with select single men - very infrequently - and usually only if they're a partner in a bi couple.
4. Keep my life as private as possible due to my job. I can be fired for acts of impropriety or simply the illusion of such.

I know my profile is pretty bad and needs help. I am looking for sex. I'm looking for a full time partner, but not necessarily a committed wife. I like to play with couples, bi or straight. I will play with select single males, but I prefer women.