I would love your thoughts.

mayhem8Veteran
Auburn, NH, Us

Not sure what it looked like before but the text at least looks decent now. Noticed you have zero pics, so assuming you're working on that. A headless body shot should be a quick easy start.

At a minimum, I think there should at least be mention that you're married and (assumably?) not doing this on the sly. While you may get fewer responses, for the ones you do get it may feel like a bait and switch to them even if you're very upfront about it in initial emails.

If there is a good reason I might briefly mention that. As an example, "Married but Mrs is not playing due to health reasons. She is willing to voice verify this." Either way it's a harder sell because it complicates things over a true SM.

As for the Bi thing, depending on the area you're in it could be a net gain or loss in interest. If traveling to a small town in the bible belt, probably not a plus ;-)

Phoenix, AZ, Us

Hi again. You didn't use spell check and you did use so many iterations of the personal pronoun that I gave up counting before I was done. Also, your wife has been eliminated from your narrative.

Even if I discount my personal feelings about the vanishing spouse, the end result is not appealing or inviting. In fact, the whole thing reads as if you're the guy who will dominate the conversation in a group, but without having anything interesting or funny to say. There isn't much that can be done about that if you don't have an interest in putting other people in the center, at least conversationally.

I am very upfront in any initial contact about being married. I will work on the wordiness and the pictures .

Thank You

Fort Payne, AL, Us

You appear to have lost all reference to being married - is that intentional? Personally I get rather upset if that detail is not either in the profile or communicated with initial contact and I find it out later - so you will need to figure out how you will handle that.

Overall your profile seems a bit better but still feels wordy. I don't especially feel welcomed or wanted but I'm not sure why.

Virginia Beach, VA, Us

I’m reminded of that old joke about the Jewish man prays to God every day: “Please God. Please let me win the lottery.”

He prays like that every day for 30 years and finally God calls down to him and says:

“Moshe, you cheap bastard. Buy a ticket!”

So without some new pictures there isn’t much I can do here.

Updated. Let me know. Thanks

The updates are still pending.

So I have done some work on this and thank you for your comments. I have not changed the pictures yet but shortly will. Throwing it back to your thoughts. Should I just say I am straight and let the profile do the work?

Phoenix, AZ, Us

Hi. Yes, usual disclaimers from me as well, because this really is about your profile and where it is and is not effective. But you might have flashbacks to middle school, because this process can suck (and not in the fun way).

You didn't need to tell me you've worked on this profile rather often. It shows and not actually in a good way, because you haven't been tossing enough out as you add and it's currently looking like a geological cross section. Whatever other choices you make, I'd suggest deleting everything you have now and starting fresh. Yes, I know, but I don't think repair is going to get you where you want to be.

So, first, your one and only profile photo will rarely entice anyone to contact you. That means you will usually have to do all the work of initial contacts. You can change that by having a similarly anonymous full body clothed photo instead or in addition. It won't result in a dramatic increase, but wouldn't it be nice to be wanted, at least provisionally?

Oh, actually, I do like one thing: your tagline. I see that you move around, so this has less of an impact on you than on stationary folks, but generally, if you have been using the same tagline and photo for more than three months, you've captured pretty much all the eyeballs you're going to capture with that combo.

Looking For is meant to be about others. It focuses on them in a way that at least tries to be inviting and relatable. So, who are you looking for, what are you looking for, what is the shape of the interaction you seek? That's what goes here. A lot of what you have now belongs in either Description marital status and (the explanation about your sexual preference) or Additional comments (your travel and what it means when you've looked and not contacted).

Oh, I do want to caution you about one thing. While I see far less homophobia than I used to (at least here on the Left Coast, bi/bi couples and parties are really common), making blanket statements about men wanting to be bi or wives wanting them to be is a poor choice. It's not true (really, it isn't, although that might be the demographic you attract) and it pretty much insures that you will not hear from a lot of couples where he really is straight. Do you really want to further limit your pool of potential playmates?

Description is about you. Just you. It's where your marital status goes, the explanation of how that works, what your salient traits and qualities might be. It's not for what you're looking for (there's a better place for that) and it's not where you try to describe yourself tangentially by saying how you like interactions to go. That's too indirect. It's also too direct to self describe as good looking. Try attractive, which is a far less definite term. And if your future profile contains a reference to working out, it's two words. You wear workout clothes to work out. Say something about things you like to do, as well. It gives a relatable bit of content and might be the tipping point for a couple.

Fantasies is about what your experience is and what you want to do. It's (again) not the place for explaining your feelings about bi/bicurious men, but you can certainly say you think all-in MFMs are fun.

Additional comments right now refers to something that no longer exists: IM that you can turn off. Whatever you eventually put here, end on a high note, don't tell people what to do (yes, I totally get the irony in that statement) and think of this as your last opportunity to be inviting and sufficiently intriguing that whoever initiates contact, it increases your chances of finding playmates.

Good luck.

Fort Payne, AL, Us

As you'll probably hear from everyone else that comments - anything mean is directed at your profile not at you personally.

Velma may see three obvious strikes against you in the details - but I see a big problem with the overall profile. It is way too wordy and way too much about you. In a quick read I get nothing about what you're really looking for - and face it, a quick read is all most people will give a profile.

Of the three issues that Velma brings up there isn't much you can do about your age and it won't always be a problem so don't worry about that one - just keep your stats up to date so it is always correct.

The fact that you are married should be in your description (not looking for) and you need to address your situation in a bit more detail - are you playing with permission (and how will your partner show that permission), are you in a don't ask, don't tell situation or is your partner totally unaware?

The fact that you are bi-curious is also polarizing. You may want to indicate the extent of your curiosity and experience but don't dwell on it. Contacting couples with a bi or bi-curious man will probably be more successful that couples with a straight man.

So you need to rewrite your text - pretty much completely. And get some pictures - I'd like to see more than your lower legs. Then come back and we'll re-evaluate for you!

Good luck.

~Phoebert's Wife

Virginia Beach, VA, Us

So keep in mind that I’m not saying things to be mean, I’m just saying what other women are thinking.

I think you have three strikes against you right off the bat. Your 60, you’re married and your bi.

Despite the lip service we pay to equality, the LS is terribly homophobic.

I don’t advise that you change who you are, but at least I can give you some damn good pictures to give you a runnning start before you hit the wall.

The legs only pic isn’t cutting it. Get someone (your wife maybe) to take 3 pictures of you- Dressed up like you are going on a date, at a race like a 5 k Ora sporting event, and shirtless at the beach. That should at least generate interest.

I have continually changed my profile over time and never seem satisfied. That said I would appreciate the feedback.

Peter