Hi. I'm glad you're okay with brutality. I swear it's kindly meant, but I'm going to be super critical.
So, your posts here are full of personality. You seem super fun and engaging and your profile is...full of tired, tiresome cliches. There are other issues as well, but that's the major disappointment. Don't use these:
in the bedroom - As a euphemism for having sex, this one has nothing to recommend itself. Why not on the stairs or the kitchen counter? I mean at least then it'll sound like fun. But you really can just assume that whatever you write has (in bed) mentally appended to it.
like minded - Uh. Since no one knows your mind, how is anyone supposed to know if they share similar interests or views? Seriously, of all the meaningless terms that show up in profiles, this one is probably the worst.
absolutely no drama - People who really are no drama don't generally even think of drama and you won't find negative declarations in their profiles. You mention drama and you're getting the side eye, because nobody who brings the drama thinks its them. It's other people, right? Well, no, it isn't. So leave this out too.
Don't be shy - If I had a nickel for every time I've seen that one...
Okay, now that I've smacked the cliche impulse out of you, here are the other issues:
Looking For is about who you're looking for. If you're looking for couples and women, mention both groups and do so in a way that centers the conversation around them. Then what you're looking for. Fun's great, so's friendship.
Description - the only useful information here is that you love camping and bikes. Maybe that you're happily married, but even there that's kind of assumed, so why put it there? We know you're full swap because it's in your toggles. You've also given us your heights and I doubt you're 75 pounds so fix that (it doesn't matter what you weigh, just type it in) and let your photos describe your body types.
You have single guys blocked (it happens automatically when you toggle no interest, even though it looks as if you have to check a box) and married men with a hall pass are unlikely to contact you. And while it's not outside the realm of possibility that someone will ask you to play separately, it's unlikely to be a legitimate couple, so why risk sounding defensive and unapproachable to everyone else?
When you talk about your free time as if it's very limited, you raise a barrier for others. We all have scheduling issues and you can signal your willingness to play on a first date in messages once you've established the potential for mutual interest.
Use this section instead to talk about yourselves as a couple (mostly) and as individuals (a little). Who are you? Any interests other than the two you've listed? Can you give an indication in writing of just how fun you can be? Do that here.
Fantasies - No, they're not best talked about over drinks. This profile is your opportunity to be engaging and interesting and having shared fantasies is one of your best ways of doing so. Make it g-rated - nobody needs to know about the donkey - but don't punt here.
Additional comments - Yeah, that whole 'we opened our photos but ran out of time thing' just sounds lazy. I doubt you are, so stop doing it and don't mention it. Also the bird is dead. Instead, talk about condoms and ddf here and then end on a high note, with something charming or fun or just interesting.
Oh, and no entrance exams, please. It just makes you look high maintenance. Plus, no such thing as a subject line anymore.
Please go completely revamp your profile and then come back for a review for fine tuning.
Good luck!
