Critique my Profile?

I think I'm seeing the latest iteration of your profile. You still have the emoji artifact in your tagline, so that needs to be fixed (because you don't want your stamina statement to be taken as a question); same with the last line. What you have is good, but some of the content could do with a little expansion. Please at least mention solo women, if you can find a way to do so without making it clear they're unappealing afterthoughts. Maybe toggle down your interest a little too?

But if you decide not to add content, you'll still be fine with that subset of people that don't need or want all the blanks filled in. I'd say yes now, where I wouldn't have before and some of your charm shines through. Do fix your random capitalization though. it's "as in actual..." and drug and disease free, plus you have a random "I and" in the last section that needs to go.

Good luck.

There are still a few of the possibly emoji double question marks happening but other than that if you incorporate some of the response to Velma into Description I think you're looking pretty good. And maybe some additional pictures - you don't appear to be a big grin kinda guy but a little bit more of a smile will improve things and a picture of you involved in some sort of activity will add some variety.

Good luck!

I don't know if you got duped - Velma is certainly smart enough for it, but that's a little indirect for her - but your response to her was exactly what we were looking for. It's centered, confident, well written and direct. Basically, you. And a really appealing you.

FWIW, I think your hair is fine. For some it will be a bit of a stopper, but we're all someone's no and it doesn't actually matter so long as we're a lot of people's yes.

Also as an aside, I haven't ever encountered issues with my hair or beard in my personal or professional life, so I never really saw it as an issue. I keep it clean, tied up, and I never let my facial hair grow that long. Then again I mostly deal with people my own age and not people over 30, but it's always dependent on the people.

My point stands though, I'm not cutting my hair.

Oh my god did I just get duped into writing a better profile, completely by accident?

If that was actually Velma's intention, she's playing some fuckin' 4D chess and I'm incredibly impressed.

Your response to Velma is actually the sort of information she was prodding for. You sound much more mature and interesting in that message than you have in your profile. I'll look to see if your changes have been approved when I get back from an appointment.

It's kind of a near super power these days to be able to look at things through someone else's eyes. I totally get what you were thinking when you wrote the chubby/stretch mark" thing. More like a "truth in advertising" kind of approach. Some will see it that way, but a lot may not. Just like advertising, if you're trying to sell something you generally don't want to highlight the flaws. Whether you see it that way or not, you're essentially trying to sell yourself here. not literally of course ;-)

I also agree that you should not have to radically transform yourself just to get laid. However, if for example the facial hair thing was a "take it or leave it" thing for you and you happen to find out you're missing opportunities by having a beard, it helps make a decision to change. So much of this can be particular to what the people in your area are looking for so there is no right/wrong.

Tattoos are kind of one of those things too. Some like them, some don't, and some don't care. Unless you were highly tattooed I doubt that would be a deal maker/breaker for many, if any,

You might want to add some of that "I can do...blah" you mentioned in your response to Velma to your profile, minus the gun part. It shows you as more capable and mature than you initially appear, and that's never a bad thing. Good luck.

Well I've got another edit pending approval as I type, but, yeesh there's a lot to unpack here.

First off thank you Molly for your critiques, you're really helping me figure this out. It's a bit difficult to get who I am across when typing to no one for some reason. My natural personality just doesn't seem to come out, y'know? I also certainly didn't mean dick pics (I have those in a personal pictures gallery) so I changed it a bit to make it more obvious I just mean shirtless pictures. Also the picture with my cat is probably the best one I took or had taken that night.

Second, PAW thanks for pointing out that Emojis don't work here. I kinda assumed they would since it's 2019, although I can't say I'm surprised, considering this site makes me feel like I'm back in 2003. I've addressed that issue and the thing about the condoms. I was kinda tired when I was writing, and in retrospect that was a really stupid idea.

Third, Mayhem, I changed some stuff up based on what you said. I didn't think about the stretchmarks thing as sounding like it was poor self image, but I still removed it. I was thinking it was more like "I have these, and I don't have an issue, but you might." Like what someone might do with tattoos...which now that I think about it, I have a tattoo, should I add that info to the profile or no?

Finally, Velma. I hope this doesn't come off as long and ranty because it sounds like you mean well, but something about what you said rubbed me the wrong way. You're right, I'm not gonna take your advice, but not because it's too hard. I'm not gonna take it because that's not me. I am a nearly 22 year old dude who does video editing for youtubers, voice acts, and streams video games for a living, and I make pretty decent money from it. That's who I am.

I take care of myself, but I'm not some Rock Climbing, Triathalon running, clean cut man. I like my long hair. I like my facial hair. I know how to shoot guns, I own one. I know how to build a fire, my house is heated by a wood stove. I know how to change a tire and I know how to fix a faucet. I also know how to pick a lock, how to clean room properly in under 30 minutes, how to replace brakes on a truck, how to split wood, and how to make a spaghetti sauce or an omelette that would probably be better than what you'd get in a restaurant. But what I'm not gonna do is cut my hair, shave my face, and homogenize myself specifically so I can go online and meet people to fuck.

I'm glad your husband is wonderful, and it sounds like you two are really happy, but lets face facts, I'm not gonna change to be more like him, because he sounds my complete opposite.

Hi. I might be the nice one today. Maybe. No promises. Having morning sex only goes so far. ;-)

So, I don't actually hate your photos and whatever else you do, I'd keep the one of you and the cat, because I really love the expressions on both your faces. Also, most men don't really get the whole posing with a cat is sexy thing, so it's kind of a standout in a crowded field.

I'm less fond of the current iteration of your profile. It's definitely an improvement. You still seem too laid back to stand upright, but at least my immediate impression is no longer that you don't give a shit. So, hey, really, it's better.

Those double question marks mayhem mentions are likely artifacts caused by trying to use emoji, modern things that SLS doesn't support. Get rid of them. Also, you need to proofread after you get moderator approval to get rid of stuff like this.

In Looking For, if you mention barebacking and equate disease free and clean, I'm going to view you as a risky partner and move on, because clearly you don't know how to assess risk. No, I don't care that you're willing to use condoms with me. You're still a no. Might want to take that out and deal with it on a case by case basis. Also, a little more education on transmission, etc., at least enough to know that "clean," even when it includes fresh test results, means nothing. Also, fix that sentence on single women. Maybe "...can connect...., I'm good with that." That's a little bit more positive than eh, not gonna turn you down.

Description, okay. I'm going to let the chubby thing pass, because it's kind of adorable. But maybe lose the threat of the private photos if you mean dick pics.

Lose the last sentence in Fantasies, because it adds nothing.

Make some changes and see how it sounds to you. Based on your interactions here, you're a much more fun person than your profile currently suggests. Can you fix that?

Good luck.

To some of Velma's point, you are 21 years old. While you consider yourself to be an adult, you look and sound like a kid. While it doesn't hurt to post your upper age limit to "60", with your current appearance and the way you come across isn't likely to appeal to many older mature women.

I am NOT saying you need to change. I am just trying to set likely expectations based on the image that "I" think you portray. Hey, I've been wrong plenty of times so take this all with a big grain of salt. Also keep in mind that, though some of the comments seem harsh, they are pointed at your profile and not you as a person. The people that take the time to comment here do so because they want to help you to succeed.

I had a busy couple of days, so I really haven’t had a chance to respond to this thread.

A lot of people call me the picture expert. I really don’t think I am a picture expert-I’m just not afraid of saying what most women are thinking. I opened a private gallery for you to show you the kind of pictures that you should have.

In my personal opinion-you look like a guy who went to community college, majored in sociology, and works at a comic book store.

SLS is a resume. You rolled in with long hair and a T-shirt-would you go to a job interview like that? And here’s another problem - not only are you competing against every other single man, You’re competing against a woman’s husband. Think about what you bring to the table that is better than my husband.

I married a Triathlete who owns a software company. You’ve got to step up your game, bro.

My biggest problem with single men is that they can’t keep my interest. It might be because I’m supersmart and I have two masters degrees. It might be because I married a man who is super smart with a masters degree. But either way-my standards are extremely high.

I’m going to give you the same piece of advice I give almost all single men like you. Like most single men who post on here-you’re probably not going to take it because it’s going to be too hard. This is your choice.

I want you to get a haircut. I want you to shave. I want you to find a CrossFit box and start going there. I want you to start running 5K’s. I want you to go to Men’s Wearhouse and buy a navy sport coat, a pair of gray slacks and a pair of khaki slacks, and two shirts. Also buy a pair of tan shoes in a tan belt.

I want you to learn how to fly or rock climb. I want you to learn another language and be able to order wine in it. I want you to travel and take pictures and do interesting things.

In order to be a ladies man you have to be a man’s man first. I want you to learn how to shoot a gun. I want you to learn how to build a fire. I want you learn how to fix a faucet and change a tire.

I want you to take pictures of yourself doing interesting things. I want you to be more interesting and more exotic than my husband.

Once you do that, everything else will fall into place. But odds are once you do that you’ll be covered in vanilla bitches anyway and won’t need SLS.

Some of your content is all over the place and not really fitting the categories provided. For example, wouldn't "I've been with a fair few partners, so I've got some knowledge" fit better in the section for Real Experiences?

You can lose the "??". In most cases you aren't really asking a question. While it may sound petty, there are some that look for that level of detail as a reason to say, "No thanks".

Your pics still don't really show you smiling. I'm talking about the kind of smile you have when someone tells you a very funny joke. This is what is going to make you look fun to be with and someone that's positive and enjoys life.

Speaking of being positive, you do have full body pics so there is no need to describe your appearance. Especially not the "chubby/stretch mark " comment. It comes across as you having a poor self-image of yourself. You are what you are. Own it or, it it really bothers you, change it.

While you are primarily looking for couples, some couples will only engage a SM at a swinger party or if they have a SF they can bring along. SFs are pretty difficult to come by online and you're doing yourself no favors by saying, "I'm not gonna turn you (SFs) away.".

Your profile kind of comes across as someone that thinks that posting a profile is the equivalent of holding up a "Free Buffet" sign to a group of starving people. Specifically its the "Hopefully I can now~" comment in the Fantasies section and the one mentioned about SFs. The reality is the "buffets" have limited items and you are by far the most plentiful thing on all of them and people get so much of that, it really needs to be dressed up for them to want more. Follow what I'm saying?

Some liken the profile to a resume, and it's kind of what it is. You want it to stand out among all of the others. Nothing says "I'm fun" more than a great big smile, so I'd start there and re-read your profile and move things to the categories they best fit in and remove the negative sounding stuff as a start. You can get ideas from reading other profiles. If something looks and sounds good to you, chances are it does to others too. You don't get any points off here for plagiarism ;-)

Better. but you still have some work to do. It looks like you are composing on your phone and trying to use emojis - SLS doesn't support that fun so what I see is "??' instead of whatever you're attempting in your tag line, after motel room and at the end of Add'l Comments.

I'd move the comment about D&D free to Description but omit the bareback or wrapped up options - we're trying to get away from the "so laid back I'm wishy-washy" tone of the previous attempt, remember? You're also not very enticing for single ladies - perhaps say "while I'm mostly looking for couples, NSA good times with single ladies is also my idea of fun" or something along those lines!

Pictures do a much better job of describing you than you ever will - so delete the second part of Description entirely. You would be better served with a few full body pictures with a fairly empty background - so nice jeans and a tucked in polo or dress shirt (please not a Tshirt) and get someone to take your picture (from head to toe against a blank wall at the office if nothing else).

I'd also delete the last sentence in Fantasies and try to rephrase Add'l Comments (if nothing else get rid of the extra "I" after the comma).

So wait for some more advice and then give it another go. You're moving in the right direction!

Alright, I got all my changes up. Please lemme know your thoughts!

There's no one I'd rather mind meld with. ;-)

MsMolly - it is scary sometimes!

Okay, PAW, we probably mind melded there for a moment. ;-)

Yeah, you did. Just post here, in this thread, when your changes take effect. That will give others the continuity they need to keep going and get you the best possible profile.

It's probably best to just post another message in this thread when you make your changes - one message and everyone that gave advice will know and can revisit your profile if they choose to offer additional advice (or congrats).

I find it easiest to compose in a word processor at my leisure - that way I don't have to wait for SLS approval after saving before I can make additional changes. Once I'm happy with my text I run spell check and grammar check then copy text to SLS.

After you get approval check the "want smokers/want drinkers" toggles and fix them if you don't like the default (they return to the default after every profile approval) - as long as you change nothing else no additional approval is needed.

Ah shit, did I really come across as that boring?

Thanks for the advice, you two. I'm gonna change some stuff up a little later, and see how it goes.

Would you two mind if I message you when its redone? Better than posting a second thread, yeah?

Eh. I think I'll skip morning. But you are getting this in the very short interval between planes, which is like wine but with anxiety. Standard disclaimer: not being mean to be mean. The advice is blunt but meant kindly and the aim is to get you laid.

Your photos are bad. Like, not just not good. No selfies and no skin unless there's a reason, like you're at the beach.

Your text isn't terrible, but the overall impression is that you don't give a shit. Please work on what you have so that it sounds like you actually care and have an opinion about who you're looking for and what you would like to do. Start with your tagline.

If you want to be successful at this, being so laid back you're supine is a very poor strategy.

Other than that, don't talk about your body. Just have full length photos.

Collect more advice, make some changes and come back for a review. And that's all the time I have. Good luck.

Your profile doesn't really sound bad - but it really isn't appealing either. Your tag line is especially weak.

But your biggest problem is your pictures. The two I can see look to be bad selfies and you're not smiling in either of them. Get a friend to take a few full body shots of you dressed to go out to dinner (nice jeans & polo shirt would be fine). Watch for clutter and/or chaos in the background and smile. If you do nothing else - smile in your pictures.

It's late and I've had a bit of wine - so that's all I've got for you. Hopefully others will chime in with more in the morning.

~Phoebert's Wife

I've had no luck thus far, and I wanna know if it's due to my profile sounding bad or not.