We're finding that our desires and expectations change a little after every encounter, as we learn in practice what we really enjoy and what we're not as interested in. It takes a ton of talking and rehashing after a meet, which is fun and essential. Keep the conversation going with your partner so that you stay on the same page, even when things change. You're a team!
Starting out you all need to figure out what boundaries work for both of you all as a couple. Many couples will say they don't have rules but actually do. Are you fully into every aspect of bdsm? Are you into male bi play? Do you like do scat and urine play? The list can go on but you need to know that every kink is out there. We know people who got into situations they never dreamed of because they said they had no rules. It could be as simple as a couple who is used to rough sex who hears "no rules" and assumes what they enjoy is fine and it turns into a bad situation. Over communicate with potential playmates and be sure that everything is fine before you start. Then don't stop communicating once play begins. Most everyone will respect your boundaries if they want to play with you all. Just don't give in to accommodate another couple. But, as stated, be sure the two of you discuss what both of you are OK with trying. Then be prepared to pull the plug mid play if necessary if neither one of you is comfortable. You may or may not change your boundaries as you go but if you do be sure both of you do it together.
We had a few rules when we started. Always same room play, never play alone, if one didn't play then neither played, Always ask each other before going with some one. No kissing. We found that rules really limited what either of us could do. So we pretty much have scrapped all those rules. If we are at a party, and one of us wants t play then we can. We don't have to worry about the other. My wife still asks, but I've told her that she doesn't have to ask, only let me know that she's going off to play. I would give her the same courtesy.
When y'all first started the live style did y'all rules between you and your spouse? If so could y'all tell me about them. i'm super nervous but we want to explore.I also want to hear about y'all experience.
