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Critique My Profile

Phoenix, AZ, Us

Hi. It's late, I'm tired, and just got some good news/bad news that makes me want to throw a parade and cry at the same time, so I'm probably going to be uncomfortably blunt. I'm not attempting to work out my inner demons or be mean. I'm just naturally blunt and too worn out to go searching for more diplomatic language. My actual aim is benign, I swear.

Some women will want to see your dick before they meet you. Most won't. And forcing us to look by putting your junk in your public gallery betrays a significant disconnect in your understanding of women. That's not a great start. I don't know if Velma checks other sub-forums, but if she hasn't shown up by Sunday to give you specific advice on your photos, go searching in better profiles for one of her posts doing that for a single man.

As to your profile, it's not terrible, but it isn't wonderful. Plus there are some sloppy typos. Based on what's there, if you were an actual single guy with ripped abs, you'd be slightly above average. Since you're operating with a significant deficit, terrible but not wonderful isn't going to be particularly effective.

Looking For is about the people you're looking for. It's not about you, or at least not centered on you. Also, it's women rather than females. So, say who you're looking for, what you're interested in doing with them, and maybe something about the range of interactions that would interest you (you've got that part, but it needs to be woven into something that approaches a coherent whole).

Description doesn't need a rehash of things that are in your stats or obvious in your photos. Do say something about you as a person. What are your interests? Why are you likely to be of interest? What makes you unique? This is where you show up and in such a way as to defang the inevitable judgment you'll face as a cheater.

In Additional comments, you seem to have confused "clean" and "disease free," plus you claim to be able to prove it, which, no, you can't. Your latest STI test is a snapshot of the situation at the moment of testing and that's it. So, maybe just say you're disease free and, if it's true, test regularly. The rest of what's in that section needs to go die in the same pyre you lit for the bathroom selfies. It's based on an internet legend, is pointless in the extreme, and the end result is that anyone who has done even basic research will be rolling their eyes if they see it.

So, back to your dick. Men generally have them. I like quite them. However, what I've discovered over the years is that men who display theirs like league trophies are generally unreliable in demonstrating they actually know how to use them in ways that are designed to please me. Or any other women. So, put it away and only take it out if someone asks you for a peek. Because the rest of us would appreciate that courtesy as well as the opportunity to not immediately write you off as just another guy who doesn't understand women.

As to your situation, props for being straightforward, but a swingers' website is probably the worst place for you. There are some who won't care, but most will avoid you. It's not just the risk of being involved in someone else's drama, it's also that many (most?) of us are pretty firmly convinced that any sort of non-monogamous behavior requires having the necessary conversations with your SO, even when they're hard, and it's chickenshit to cheat. (I tried to find a nicer way to say that, but that actually is several degrees kinder than my first few attempts.) I'm not actually judging here, just telling you my observations over a lot of years.

The net effect is that you won't have a lot of takers, but cleaning up your profile will keep your pool as large as is possible, given your circumstances.

Fresno, CA, Us

Well, this really belongs over in the Better Profiles section, but no worries, it isn't a big deal.

I took a look earlier today before you shut down the single male views, so this is from memory. Your profile narrative is okay, but not spectacular. It's a bit generic. On the other hand, I've seen a LOT worse. The big thing you're lacking is something that describes what makes you unique. It's there, we all have it. It's just a matter of finding it for you, and communicating it.

Now comes the really bad..... Dump the photos. All. Of. Them. Bathroom selfies should be killed with fire. Whether you intend it or not, they convey the idea that one is lazy and isn't willing to put the time in to actually try to attract people. Also, leave the dick photos in a private album. Remember, you're trying to attract WOMEN, and even though this is a sex site, a large number of the women here don't want to see a guys dick until they ask for it, either in photos or in person.

Last thing. You came right out and said that you have a significant other who isn't in the LS and you're hiding this from her. I'll give you some props for being honest about that, but you should understand that this will immediately turn off a LOT of folks, probably a majority. Some folks won't care about that, and those are the ones you should be trying to attract. That doesn't mean that I'm recommending you delete that admission from your profile. If that's your situation and you've already put it in there, the honorable thing to do is to leave it, and to accept the effect on your success rate.

Sacramento, CA

Hello all! Was hoping to get some feedback on my page and what I can do to improve my chances/options with couples. Thanks!!