hotluvrs,
"Potential for disapproval from the guy you love"
WOW.....great advice! I will show her their post and yours. Yes this last week I have smothered her in love and told her how much I love and respect her. Again, thank you!
”potential for disapproval from the guy you love.”
I think this is the number one reason women are reluctant to dive into the swinger pool.
Even now, after a decade in the lifestyle, I still occasionally catch a look on my wife’s face which tells me she is feeling embarrassed or ashamed of some particular behavior.
You are not overthinking this. This is a big deal.
Every woman is different and requires different types and levels of encouragement. My wife usually takes just a day or two of lots of cuddling, and a moderate amount of frank discussion of how I love her AND her behavior.
In the BDSM communities they talk a lot about aftercare. It’s a great concept which may help you.
Lastly, show her Molly’s post, and try to get your wife in touch with other similarly intelligent and articulate women.
Thanks RonKathy......maybe I'm worried about nothing. I was going to give it another week they talk with her again.
ok.....sorry NaturalLovers2013 for firing off. I left her crying afterward out of the events story I posted but it's just been bothering me, so I thought I would ask the community.
Not trying to be a smartass. I just remembered posting on your first post and congratulating you on your first experience. I was just curious why you were telling a different story.
thanks ms molly!
hey NaturalLovers2013
NONE of it is made up smartass, I just left the crying part out but it's been bothering me......good enough for you??
Somewhat of a different version from when you first told about it. Which version is the true version?
I'd forgotten all about it until just a second ago, but something similar happened to me years ago, where I was fine in the moment and burst into tears after. For me, I think it was because I'd been really into what I was doing and was overwhelmed by it and then, after, caught an edge of what might have been disapproval from my then partner. There was something about completely letting go and then abruptly coming back into a world where there are rules about what nice women do and don't do and I'd just broken them that caused the meltdown.
Maybe share this with her and see if it's anywhere close to her experience? I know I couldn't have articulated the reasons then and I'm still not sure I have it all, but, yeah, it's something about the combination of an overwhelmingly positive rule-breaking sexual experience and the potential for disapproval from the guy you love because of it.
Hey all,
Well I need the ladies advice. My wife and I have played together at a few clubs but just let others watch as I totally respect her boundaries. Well we were talking about if she would feel more comfortable if we chose a guy to watch us in a hotel. Then I asked what about an erotic massage from me and another guy.....she said she thought she could do that. Well last weekend we took that next step and did the soft swing. We invited another guy to join us in a hotel and gave her an erotic massage. The guy was so respectful and we NEVER got rough. When we flipped her over, she got so wet when both of us gave her oral and fingered her. We made her have the most intense orgasm I've EVER seen her have. She almost fell off the table it was so intense. Then just me and my wife had sex in front of the other guy. Oh, she was blindfolded the entire time and never saw the other guy in order to make her more comfortable and avoid embarrassment. The thing is, after he left and I took off the blindfold she started to cry. I asked her why and she asked why I didn't look at her as a slut now.....WHAT!? I assured her I loved her immensely and I would never see her that way. My question is, she got so wet and into it but cried after.....do you think she felt guilty for enjoying it so much? Or do you think it was too much for her? I try and talk with her but it seems like she's scared to talk. I guess I'm confused.....did any of you feel that way after the first time? I'm hoping that it's normal.....kind of like loosing your virginity......She said she enjoyed it and will do it again in a few months but the crying thing has me concerned. Any advice or how you felt the first time would help......thanks.
