What's a swinger?

I think what makes swingers swingers is that we take sex much less seriously than everyone else and are not (usually) territorial about our potential or current sex partners. Even vanilla people who hook up and have casual sex still seem to be upset at the idea that their latest fuckbuddy is also fucking someone else. They SAY this person means nothing to them beyond friendship and sex, but deep down they want them all to themselves, at least for now.

I know people who have fucked hundreds of people in the vanilla world but still treat each partner like it's a mini-marriage, even if it's just for the night and I know swingers who have only played a few times but each one was simply a fun experience and nothing more - they aren't jealous of whom their fuckbuddy has fucked the day before or the day after.

Well damn we got that all figured out. What am I gonna over analyze now??? Hmmm.

Is the guy in the red suit at the mall, Santa Claus? The answer is yes and no. He behaves a lot like Santa, tells children he's Santa, poses for pics as Santa. Santa? Sure. But does he live at the North Pole and visit every child every Christmas eve. No.

Are singles Swingers? Yes/and or/No. It's one of those rare situations where self identification is actually reasonable.

Mostly.

So a possibility is that "mindset" is more than a defining factor than an individuals relationship status? I guess I would agree with that.

Eh. I've heard countless"singles aren't swingers" arguments over the years. My 16th swingerversary was last month. In that time, I've had sex with hundreds of people and exactly one was someone I didn't meet through swinging.

Sometimes I've been with a partner, sometimes I've been solo. Regardless of my relationship status over that 16 years, I'm going to laugh at you if you tell me I'm not a swinger.

I think we spend way too much time trying to put each other in little boxes.

For the record. I'm not trying to make a point here. Over analyzing stupid shit is just a hobby of mine.

So basically what you are saying is that in effect. If you engage in nsa sex, you are a swinger. Or at least loosely defined as one.

I suppose you could define a swinger as a person who is in a committed relationship who also has recreational sex with multiple partners. But sex with multiple partners doesn't necessarily make you a swinger.

I met my husband at 38. I wasn't a "swinger" I was just a whore who made bad decisions, climbing up on hotel barstools around the DC area because it was easy to avoid a relationship. I literally spent 15 years of my life having random sex because DC is unique like that. You can meet an interesting person every night and then leave the hotel room and go back to your shitty life teaching someone else's ungrateful kids.

I think the longest relationship I had lasted three years until I met my husband because... I didn't need one. There was always another pilot, or embassy attache or Marine one barstool away. I made good money. I didn't want kids. I even did my own plumbing. I didn't need a man to help me with anything. I still don't - although I do admit It's nice to have a man around when I'm sick or when I need to reach something without getting out the step stool.

So I think that's pretty much the criteria - being in a loving, committed relationship, but still having consensual sex with other people. When I did it was a single girl I was a whore. Now that I'm married... I'm still a whore but I'm just fucking other people recreationally while being married to the most amazing man in the world.

Was bored a few nights ago and browsing through old threads. Found one where a guy basically stated that singles really can't be considered swingers. The guy pretty much got hammered over the statement. It got me thinking though. He really wasn't wrong. Singles in all reality don't really have something to share. They are here to obtain sex with no strings attached. Not really much different than the single guy or girl in most bars. So is everyone that is single looking for nsa sex a swinger? Is it a website thing. (if you have a screen name your automatically a swinger?) Couples that share are pretty clear cut. What makes a single a swinger? (for the record. I have nothing against singles. Actually they comprise half our playmates)