What's a swinger?

Travelers,
Yup, that’ll do!
Now we just need to get down Florida for Skinny Dip Sundays

Just for the record, we label ourselves as a couple who have plenty of tequila and think hotluvrs wife is exceptionally pretty !!!!

Shit won’t blow up here......................

Unless someone mentions it’s about who’s bringing the pussy.

lol

~Allen

It's not like it's packed with explosives or something. There's just a little bit of noise and some strenuous eye rolling. ;-)

Oh geez. We set off a bullshit meter. Certainly don't want to do that...

hotluvrs, that definition of sharing is easy for me to agree with. The "singles can't be swingers because they have nothing (or no one) to share" is not. That is the one that sets off my bullshit meter.

“Yeah, that whole sharing thing? Nobody has anyone to share, because that's just not how things work when you're dealing with people who have agency.“

In my head, it’s not a matter of sharing some physical thing, as if some one is borrowing my car, or my lawn mower. If we play with a single or a couple, we’ve made a decision to share our time. We share a little of the special relationship that is “us”. At the same time the other party is sharing their time and attention with us.

Outdoor,
I think that if a person has no one to share, they can still be swingers because they are willing to participate in the sharing experience.

My wife and I have a friend in Florida whom I’ve visited several time during my travels. She is respectful of my wife and understands that we can have sex only because my wife has given her ok. Our friend is a swinger. We swing when we are together.

I recently hooked up with a woman in Tampa. I made it clear about my situation with my wife. At first she seemed ok with it, but then it became clear she didn’t understand or accept that I’m my wife’s man, through and through. She couldn’t understand my wife sharing me with others. She’s not a swinger. When we were together, we were not swinging.

PA,
No worries. I was just joking that being nice to me doesn’t guarantee that you get into my wife’s pants.
There’s only three sure fire ways to seduce her:
Give her tequila;
Have a bigger dick than mine;
Tell her she’s pretty.
Any one of the above will work.

I know a lot of words and many of them only have one syllable, so I think I can manage. ;-)

Was it by any chance ncalcouple that posted originally?

You're gonna need to dumb it down a bit for me.

Well thank goodness I don't posess normal intelligence because I had no idea what you were talking about.

Wikipedia for the quick and dirty definition: "In social science, agency is the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices."

So, in this case, adults of normal intelligence who are not acting under duress.

What are people with agency???

Erg. Yeah, that whole sharing thing? Nobody has anyone to share, because that's just not how things work when you're dealing with people who have agency.

I think we can agree that singles who while in a relationship default to monogamy with or without a side of cheating aren't swingers. After that, it's not so clear cut.

If she's a hotwife and giving that blowjob, because that's their preference, is it swinging? And which of the three is a swinger?

If they have mfms exclusively, because she can't tolerate seeing him with another woman, is that swinging? Is anyone in that scenario a swinger?

I'm in a relationship with someone who is never home. I need prior consent to add anyone new, but otherwise there are no restrictions on either of us when we're in different states. However, I'm the only one who takes advantage of that permission. Is that swinging?

Activities are probably not a particularly useful metric is what I'm saying.

Hotluvrs list brings one thing around full circle. "sharing". If a person has nobody to share, are they TECHNICALLY a swinger? For me after considering previous comments. I'm kind of thinking that "mindset" is the key factor.

I don't go to conventions but I might start

Light hearted? Nice of you to give him the benefit of the doubt.

But I have a feeling (based on the profile preferences) it was, unforunately, wasted.

"If she travels to a convention, and gives some guy a blow job in his hotel room"

What conventions does she go to, exactly? ;)

PA,
Thanks, but I know you’re just being nice (no, that’s not gonna get you into my wife's panties). I’m already seeing things I would change. A more accurate list would include some of the sentiment that Velma has been expressing. There’s got to be a deeper, kinder aspect.

Step away from the definitions and keep your hands (and other parts) where I can see them...

Swinging is what you think it is. And what you make it...

From the responses so far, I hold these truths to be self evident-

list of requirements to be a swinger:

-Mindset (one must consider themselves to be a swinger)

-Casual sex; could be dogging in the Target parking lot, or a decades long relationship, there still has to be some casual nature to the sexual encounters

-Sharing; there has to be a willingness to let ones partner play with others

-More than two people; two people can’t swing; there has to be a 3rd involved.Even if the third person is not physically present. So, if a husband invites, or consents to having a single come play with the wife, that is swinging, and all parties can be labeled as swingers. If the same wife plays with a single without knowledge of the husband, they are not swinging.

Ok. I dare you to tell me how wrong I am! Oh, wait I don’t have to dare anybody. This group isn’t shy. Go ahead I can take it, however, I reserve the right, once Ive been shown the errors in my thinking, to back pedal, or reinterpret, since I’m never wrong, but sometimes I misspeak.

she travels to a convention, and gives some guy a blow job in his hotel room

God, I used to love doing that - not the blowjob part but letting some random guy think he picked me up.

My husband and I aren’t “open,” but I’ll play with girls one on one sometimes. Honestly it’s less about sex and more about watching Outlander and drinking good wine with a little bit of smooching.

I was actually at a convention all by my lonesome in Virginia Beach a few weeks ago and sat at the bar and got nothing but unconfident duds all night. Made me wonder if I smelled or had lost my mojo. I probably would have said yes if a guy tried to pick me up and my husband wouldn’t have cared as long as I told him about it afterwards.

But the best thing was that it didn’t matter that nobody tried. I got to go home to the love of my life. So I think maybe the “swinger” part comes from knowing that I could easislly have amazing sex with one man for the rest of my life, but enjoy the recreational aspect of new and exciting experiences.

I don’t think any one has made the point that just because some one is a swinger, it doesn’t mean that every time the have casual sex they are swinging.
My wife and I have a relatively open relationship. If she travels to a convention, and gives some guy a blow job in his hotel room, is she swinging. I don’t think so.