Thoughts, Opinions, over thinking?

Ultimately, as mentioned, it is your call.

I learned a long time ago that you never know why people do what they do. To assume that what they are doing is wrong can very easily be a fallacy. It may be different than what you want or expect, but it may not be wrong. To them it is not wrong.

We take a much more optimistic path instead of a pessimistic path. The reason is that you never know why they are doing what they are doing. It's been about 20 years since Trapeze got raided in South Florida. When we saw people who had morals clauses in their employment contract get terminated and thus lose their livelihood, we understood then that people will work on protecting their livelihood first and foremost. It just makes sense.

Just because someone does not put pictures here does not mean that they are a fraud or a fake. It just means that they do not put pictures on here. You will never know the why unless you ask.

So here, let me try this out on you :)

1. You are contacted by people here who do not have pictures posted. You ask for them and then you reject them as a match.
2. You are contacted by people here who do not have pictures posted. You ask for them and are told that they are somewhere else. You look at the pictures and then reject them as a match.

Is that 2nd step that much different? :)

What happens if they are a match?

We had someone contact us and want to do the kik thing. I was bored and obliged. The couple was nice. However, she was 3 months pregnant. She stated she didn't want to do anything while she was pregnant and that it was ok for her husband. I responded back and said, "Hit us up about a year and a half later." They wanted to use the platform so that they could show us, via video, that they were sincere. I didn't need it because there is no way we were going to get involved with a couple where the woman was pregnant, especially first child, and letting the man loose. It is not that we are against pregnant women. It is that we KNOW that pregnant women have a TON of different emotions that are running all over the place and by no means would we ever want to get involved in a relationship where it is that volatile.

Thanks all. Every ones feed back is always appreciated.

Sport n Berr (Bear)

We used to get "approached" A LOT by folks wanting to correspond outside of SLS. Especially (1) new members, (2) with no pictures and (3) no certifications. First, we actually stated in our profile "don't ask us to correspond outside of SLS", then when requests persisted we hid our pictures and interestingly enough the requests stopped.

It's a shame that it actually came to that, but we're all here for much the same reason... the only difference is how much we're willing to put into that effort. Bottom line... trust your gut, if they're truly interested in getting to know you, they will make more than a cursory effort to do so.

My sentiments exactly. Why should I go to kik if I'm not the least bit attracted to the person.

I would just move on and find someone else

Sounds to me like more red flags than Tiananmen Square on Mao's Birthday. But I'm a cynical curmudgeonly bastard.

Thing is, we all have different opinions on whether it's overthinking or not. But ultimately, all of our opinions don't matter. The only opinion that matters is yours. If you're uncomfortable, then act accordingly.

Just to be clear, the described circumstances send up red flags for us too.

1) They are new on the site

2) They have no pictures.

If they had some pictures, but no face pictures, maybe they’d get the benefit of the doubt.

We would already have moved on. Next!

Given that you guys have your faces in virtually all of your public pics, at the very least this "couple" if they even exist, wouldn't seem to be a good fit for you two stylistically. In any case there is no good reason that people can't give some idea of what they look like with through pictures while preserving complete anonymity. That is unless SLS decides that headless or faceless body pics aren't acceptable because of their new app.
My thoughts.

We've been doing this successfully for many years, both here and on a couple other websites.

We have no KIK account and no plans to get one either.

I understand that we are not everyone, but the whole scenario described in the OP throws up red flags to me.

YMMV

Betteridge's law of headlines is an adage that states: "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no."

Wet your own limits as to what you are comfortable with it.

Yeah, we are one of those couples. After Ashley was hacked, it scared the hell out of us. Daughters would not understand and one of them even said that her girlfriend's parents are into swinging so she doesn't let them see the grandchild! Made us even more cautious. We post "R" rated then request a face pic on email. Most don't respond but that's just the way it is for us!

OP: I too, would have red flags going up, however I did meet a couple that had no pics on SLS and had requested communication via Kik. They did not ask for any pics outside SLS and they asked if we could arrange a video chat on Kik, both of them present. It's ultimately your call but there are ways to navigate around potential fakes. You control your privacy, and don't have to share anything outside of SLS; as already mentioned, there's no guarantee SLS cannot be hacked.

I am going to echo what hotluvrs said.

Have to go with RonKathy on this one. Seems they are out in full force this month. We've encountered three couples this month alone that would fall generally into the category. One blurry picture, very light profile write up. When you connect via email or IM they want a ton of information about you while keeping themselves in the semi shadows, or taking communication off site; kik, yahoo etc. Anymore the first thing we tend to check is how long they've been members of SLS.

So I doubt you are overthinking it. In our experience there are a lot of wanna be swingers on SLS, So you are correct to go with your gut as far as the BS meter. Sadly.........ours is running overtime so far this month.

There is a possibility that these folks are legit. We’ve met people who do not trust this web site to keep their private picture secure. You have to admit, there’s no guarantee SLS will never get hacked.

Kik has also been known to have some security issues, so no guarantees of security there either.

Would you consider using the live video feature on kik to verify that they are real?

So ok. someone with a new account as in This month sound interesting when they shoot an email your way. But they have no pictures. But want to you to join KiK just to see a G rated picture of who your talking to. And your saying well...you can add a couple G rated pictures to your profile here on SLS and set it in private and only allow people you designate to view it would keep your privacy....BUT they insist they only want to KiK instead or use private email. I know I know, only each of us can decide on how to react, move on or what have you. But some one times I wonder If I am over thinking things. But my little red flag are jumping up all over the place with the reasoning of Don't want to place a picture in SLS due to privacy. I feel they can set the picture to private and allow only certain people access....and my feeling with KiK is from my feeling it has a bad reputation of no control age wise who is using it. So I really don't trust it. So opinion... am I over thinking and being to over cautious? My BS detector is just going off with the whole Don't want to put any pictures on SLS profile reasons. Any way thanks for thoughts. :) I kind of already decided for us too many red flags, but always get great insight from our fellow life stylers. :)

Sport for Berr and I