First timer regret!?

Read your story and have only one bit of advice. We always meet as a couple and always in separate rooms. That way there is no jealousy as yes there will be. Just make sure you always put your spouse first. Do not play all night long with the other person one reason is for safety reasons, next you will want to spend equal time with your own partner, or this lifestyle may cease to exist. Remember you both got into this to enhance your sex life not to " get all you can" at any cost. Mike n Janine from Wisconsin

To the OP

I started reading the responses and stopped when I realized it was people ignoring your question and just going off on each other.

Just some advice . . . it's worth exactly what you are paying for it.

If you do not get excited knowing that your other half is getting fucked by someone else who (a) may be better than you (b) make your spouse make sounds that you can't (c) leave your spouse with a serious smile on their face, then leave the lifestyle now. All of those can and will happen.

If you can not separate love from sex - tread very cautiously. If you think they are one and the same, you will have issues. Once you get them separated then you will have a much better time in this lifestyle :)

Now as you traverse the lifestyle to find your comfort level - talk . . . talk . . . talk. This is the time to go deep inside of you and finally let out what you like and don't like. It is a test of comfort with your spouse. It is about pleasing YOU, not pleasing your spouse. Do things that you like and the other is fine with. You will find your boundaries.

Good luck.

Just for fun...TBR is still in California. All the smart people have left California.

Awww, how cute watching some people trying to muster enough brainpower to throw insults. Sadly cute.

It isn't pretty being easy.

Well, you do make it easy...

So now TBR comes back again, just like every other post he has towards me throughout the forum, and says how he isn’t going to get into it and throws another pot shot at the end.

TBR: Let me help you save time posting. This isn’t politics and you’re very predictable.

TBR replies: Blah blah blah not going there.............. “insult”.

~Allen

TBR: Monkey says he doesn’t want to throw down, but there monkey is again, slinging his poo. Not that it’s any of your business, I can be a lot fun at parties I go too, just not fun for the conditionally hypocritical know it all spineless idiots. Emphasis on you.....

Nah.

I don't generally mix it up in any fora other than politics. There it is fun watching the monkeys throw poo.

You must be awful fun at parties. Emphasis on the awful.

TBR: I already knew you’d pass. Maybe you’ll get a spine one day instead of slithering away after each potshot.

I’m proud to have a female who knows how and wants to actually actively participate in a threesome and give both males ample attention back, taking what she wants, instead of just lying there with a misconception it’s all about her and the “new guy”. If that’s what it means to be misplaced, I’ll gladly let her do her stuff and not try regulate her to just being the object. Some guys just have it better than others.

Funly: The need to count was funny. :-)

OP: My other post to you was sarcastic. Do keep talking with one another and best wishes.

~Allen

I'll pass.

I certainly wouldn't want to get in the way of your misplaced self importamce...

"My husband and I have talked about things extensively and we are Doing better. I am still struggling a little with not getting emotionally attached but otherwise we are much better."

OP, I'm very glad to hear that you're talking and are also both doing better. Communication is critical. As far as not getting emotionally attached, I'm not sure if you mean specifically to your third or if you mean you struggle to not getting emotionally attached as part of sex with anyone. In any case, my advice would be the same, which is that emotional involvement with swing partners is graduate level and can put an enormous strain on your primary relationship, even if your boundaries around that are impeccable.

It can certainly be done but is basically not worth the risk, unless everyone involved is bent that way and/or has a pretty unusual approach to relationships.

How can I block thee? Let me count the ways....1! That's enough.

Really, TBR. I find a relation between their post and yours. Care to go back to the other thread you decided to stick but not stick your nose in?

Speaking of monkey......

Speaking of throwing feces...

OP: The consensus says, to hell with how he is dealing with it, as long as you had your fun. You're attached now and was probably showing emotional attachment during the mfm to raise his flag about being left out. There's nothing left to talk about, it's all about you...…… and more bullshit sayings like that.

Good Luck!

Funly: Okay, you have nothing to contribute, but don't be such a backhanded coward by only being able to sling feces like a monkey.

Case closed.

You are having trouble with an emotional attachment to the guy you just fucked?

Danger Will Robinson!!!

Again, this is not unusual for newbies, but this is a serious no-no.

Do not see this guy (or any guy) until you have sorted this out.

The more I hear the less I think you are ready for this...

I will not contribute to conversation, we don't do threesomes. Still some snow flake shit though

Women are the sex goddesses that men please. With that said make sure your husband can see everything that you are doing with the other man and that when hubby want to put his cock in your mouth or pussy the other man moves aside or it is there for him.

Hubby will be happy. Remember men are your toys to enjoy. you husband is your best friend to share the fun and adventures of life together.

If your marriage has cracks under the magnifying glass of the LifeStyle, those cracks become huge chasms.

"The woman's job is simply to enjoy having the attention of 2 men sharing her."

BINGO!

Jealousy can rear it's ugly head at terrible times and the longer you allow it to stink things up the more it will stink things up. We are in this for fun, physically & mentally, and if emotions appear then it rapidly becomes "not fun" for someone. Personally, I think it happens to everyone in greater & lesser degrees, the people that handle it openly, honestly & quickly are the ones who have a stronger relationship in the long run.

If you really want to destroy a shaky marriage quickly just try swinging!

I thank everyone for all of your feedback. My husband and I have talked about things extensively and we are Doing better. I am still struggling a little with not getting emotionally attached but otherwise we are much better.

The other thing I might mention is that it will most likely even out in the end.

Sometimes one partner will get more attention, sometimes another will.

My thinking is that in a MFM, the lady is the center of attention by both gentlemen. I don’t think it should be her responsibility to moderate the action.
One of the issues I personally have with FMF is that I am not giving equal attention to both. I don’t want to be perceived as favoring one over the other, and i know that i tend to favor Mrs F more then the other lady, I do rationalize it as biggie ladies are having fun with each other and i just need to dlow between each other organically instead of trying to concentrate on my time with each other so it’s equal. That to me is the hardest thing. But in the end I can always sit back and just watch the show in front of me.

OP: as has been advised earlier, communicate, communicate, communicate! Find out what truly bothered him.

We all come at this from different perspectives.

As many people have said here, the best way to figure this out is to talk about it in the most non-judgmental way possible.