No, she's specific that he's not forgiving her for leaving him out too much.
"...attentive to the point there is no question if it arising from the male half."
Yeah. Still not saying you're wrong, but without getting too graphic, I'll enthusiastically do what's offered, but I am not (nor do I want to be) capable of being proactively attentive. I can't be the only woman for whom this is true, either.
From the op I got the impression that the SM they invited in was paying more attention to her and not enough to her male partner.
He lists as bi curious so I assume they both wanted his attention but he was giving more to to the woman thus the op’s mate felt left out.
I’ve seen the same complaint in the bi male forums. They invite in another bi guy but it turns out he’s more interested in pussy.
In these instances it’s the SM’s fault if he knew going in that they both wanted sexual attention to him
If this is the case I suggest posting about it in the bi males part of the forum. You’ll get better input there.
~rabbit~
First: this is not directed at the OP. You guys are new and there is a learning experience to all this.
It is not the woman's job to make sure both men are included as equally as possible in a mfm. In my opinion a mfm is all about 2 men getting together to please a woman as much as they can. The men need to coordinate to make that happen. The woman's job is simply to enjoy having the attention of 2 men sharing her.
It also shouldn't be uncommon or unusual for the guest to spend a bit more time with the woman. New play partner is a big part of what makes it fun and I'm going to fuck her 6 ways from Sunday once he leaves anyway.
TBR: You may not have a problem with it and I may not have a problem with it, but we cannot speak for all couples, females nor males going through their first time. This is where the female needs to show empathy as I previously advised and have talks with the male half, just as you previously mentioned; and with just like the numerous deleted threads about the females having issues feeling left out in a fmf, with being the same advice was given by others. It is no different for one than the other when feeling left out or even in the case of remorse.
I say with much enthusiasm and sincerity, my pizza is one I never get tired of and love to dine on every night, the rest are just side dishes of spice to add to it.
~Allen
I have no problem if Mrs. TBR pays more attention to the guy.
In fact, I would think it strange if she didn't.
After all, this is a new experience for her. Not that we don't have great sex, but after 21 years...
I like pizza, but not for every meal...
Mrs. 888 and I have talked extensively about it because she was feeling some guilt because I was giving her 1/1 time. She has even went as far as stating it isn’t an mfm if she is only giving attention to just one.
I can say without a doubt that she makes it her priority to have fun with both males as proportional as possible. I may give her alone time during our mfm, yet I also understand when a couple new to this has an issue with attentiveness, talking it out extensively is the healthiest option they could take before opening up for another encounter.
GGMM: “Equal” May not have been the best choice of words to use when describing, but rather attentive to the point there is no question if it arising from the male half.
~Allen
"It is her position to assure equal attention is given to the males to ensure he is not left out just as is his to participate equally with the other male."
And this may be why I've only successfully had and will only consider mfms with one specific person. He handles logistics, traffic, recruitment, everything. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that this is a circumstance in which I'm not capable of higher order thinking or I'm not having fun, one or the other.
Mad props to Mrs. 888 if she can do both. I can't.
Funly, are you referring to my post? If so, please contribute by explaining on how it’s NOT of any importance for the male half of the couple to be NOT be sidelined in a mfm.
That's some snowflake shit right there.
“ In an mfm, it's not the job of the woman to play traffic cop. That's his job. ”
Disagree. It is her position to assure equal attention is given to the males to ensure he is not left out just as is his to participate equally with the other male. It is not her position, however, to regulate his emotion in something that may have happened during the mfm, but rather to comfort his emotion with compassion and understanding in order to be successful.
OP: Talk, talk, talk.
~Allen
Here's the part that I choked on, which is that he can't forgive you for not including him more.
I'm trying not to use profanity here and I'd like some credit for that, because this is nonsense. In an mfm, it's not the job of the woman to play traffic cop. That's his job. And he failed. And now he's blaming you, which is an additional failure.
Yes, i've been in this situation. Once with a girlfriend And once with my former partner. My solution was to listen, be sympathetic while also refusing to take responsibility for their feelings, and refuse any further threesomes.
It just may be that swinging isn't for you, which is a good thing to know, but I suggest not feeling you did anything wrong.
Thanks guys! Have any of you been in a similar situation.?
And whatever nutcal said, do the opposite...
This is not at all unusual.
Without really knowing any specifics, all that really can be said is communicate.
Seems that you may not have established appropriate boundaries, or once you got into the situation, the boundaries were breached or he couldn't handle those that were established.
Again, this is not at all unusual.
So have a conversation, figure out what happened. Maybe swinging is not for you, or maybe you just need to adjust some things.
Good Luck.
My husband and I just recently had our first Mmf encounter. It went pretty good but we had a little communication trouble and in the end. The next day was rough and now he can’t seem to forgive me that he feels I left him out too much. Any suggestions on how to Deal with the resentment and anxiety? Will this pass?
