Not doing it because you are in love

She told you that because she is lonely and miserable where she’s at she wants you to chase after her

Ronkathy- I was just wondering if it was a normal thing. And if it was, how others delt with it.

So whats the issue then?.

Move on.. we all have people that cause drama in ones life and one must learn to change, walk away, and move on.. its really that simple instead of dwelling on past, resurrecting the past, and ones rear view mirrors.

Your life will be that much better vanilla and swinging life.

Ronkathy- I didn't tolerate it. I stopped seeing her.

Hollyblue- possible, but I doubt it.
First, I would think if I would not have taken it well I would not have taken her stories or the videos she showed me well . I don't think seeing it in person would somehow be worse than seeing it in a video or hearing her tell me about a threeesome she just had .
Also, she didn't say her reason was that she fell in love with me until she moved halfway across the country. We got together regularly for three years and drifted apart for two more years before she left.
I would think if she thought I couldn't handle it she would have used the fell in love excuse much sooner.
Also, if you think I cant handle it, why keep telling me about all the great sex you are having without me?

My hunch is that she is telling you something to let you down easily. Starting casually as you did, there would have been a reason other than love to not toss you into the group play. Could be something like her guessing you may not have taken it well.

We ended up in this lifestyle after a 10 year relationship. We enjoy nude beaches and after one such trip we ended up at home with friends. The sexual interplay came naturally. That experience opened our eyes as how much fun we could have. We only have couples we see on a fairly regular basis...no bed hopping. Nor do we hook up at lifestyle parties, ( unless we are there with our friends). Hopefully you find someone that will eventually share your enthusiasm for what you are looking for.

Sounds like a double standard.

She "fell in love" so she wanted to keep you all for herself. But she was free to go fuck around.

No bueno...

And if tolerated its on you.. or you are a "cuck"... so what is it?

Swinging well over 30 years and we both have FWB we see alone and together in 3 sums..but never.. ever.. no not with you! Its not happening!

I met my wife in a 3some....She came over with another guy...We fucked her....Days later she called, we fucked more, just her & I....We enjoyed our time together, did other things....we fell in love, but we still fucked others when we felt like it. We've enjoyed groups, 3somes....never a jealous moment between us. She is the one I love and want to be with everyday and she feels the same. Our adventurous sex life is a fun lifestyle we enjoy when we're in the mood.....

"So I am just wondering if this is common in this lifestyle."

No, it's not common. Some people struggle with jealousy, either always or only in certain circumstances, but that has to do with their stuff, not love.

Yes, I know, it is only sex and no falling in love but we started when she picked me up at work, for what I assume was only supposed to be a one time thing. She decided she liked me both in and out of bed so it moved to somewhere between friends with benefits and casual dating .
She wanted to have a serious relationship with me.
While we were seeing each other she told me about the threesomes she was having.
I asked many times to join her and she always had an excuse.
After she moved to another state I asked her when she never gave me a threesome and she said it was because she fell in love with me.
So I am just wondering if this is common in this lifestyle.
You can only have threesomes with friends, strangers and people you hate.

Well for starters it is only sex and no falling in love with those you play with. Think of it as a hobby , just one with lots of benefits. If you are not open to it with your partner, then you should have that serious discussion or part ways as you have said you did.

Is not wanting to do a threesome with someone you love, but you are willing to do threesomes with strangers, friends and people you are not in love with, normal?
Has anyone had this happen to them?
What did you do?
I stopped seeing her. I wasn't going to marry her, then sit at home watching TV while she was out having threesomes with people she didn't love.
I'm just wondering if I did the right thing and how others would have handled it.
Is there a way to avoid them falling in love with you so you can have a threesome?