In this lively episode of Hot Couple Chronicles, host Ashley invites her sister Becka to discuss how she feels about Ashley's involvement in the swinging community. The sisters dive into communication, consent, and societal misconceptions. They reflect on their upbringing in New Jersey, sharing humorous and heartfelt stories, including a memorable trip to Texas.Special thanks and music credit to our friend @nominalfilter on Soundcloud!Upcoming EventsSecrets Hideaway: April 3rd-6th! On sale to public 10/18!Follow Us- Instagram: @hotcouplechronicles- TikTok: @hotcouplechronicles- YouTube: Watch video episodes on our channel- Facebook: @ThatHotCoupleInGA- Instagram: @HotCoupleInGA- TikTok: @thathotcouple_inga- Backup TikTok: @thathotcoupleinga4.0- X (Twitter): @ThatCoupleInGAFind Your Community- SDC: Use code 36775 for 2 free weeks!- SLS: Get 1 month FREE with our link!- 3Fun: Find local swingers with this free app! Become an affiliate HERE!- Swinger Society Discord: Join over 40,000 swingers!Health Resources- Shameless Care: $30 off ED meds or at-home STI testing!Premium Sites- Ashley’s VIP OnlyFans (No PPV, all content included)- Ashley’s PPV OnlyFans- Ashley’s Fansly- Russ’ OnlyFans
Transcript
Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about Mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out.
Every product is sourced from small, American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com to get started. Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle. Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences.
While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on this adventure. I'm Ashley. And I'm Becca.
And this is is a couple chronicles welcome back we are here with a special guest today russ is not here today he's doing his own thing parched and stuff out so thirsty so thirsty he's just hanging out in the background and phlegmy yeah we tried to get him apart but it just was it was a weird spot yeah this is becca this is my sister hi those of you that don't know i don't think anyone really knows my sister i do talk about it quite a bit but i've never actually put a this is a face to the name but yes we want to talk today a little bit about being a family member and being outside, and that's a part of, very directly, a public swinger.
We don't get to talk about that very often, so we're just kind of around that, and then our relationship in general, and a little bit more about us as a whole. But yeah, you want to start off, introduce yourself, and where are you from? Sure. What's all about you? My name is Becca. It's not Becky. I live in Florida. I am a hairstylist. Mom of one. He is 16. One big boy. Yep. I've been married for nine years in a few days. Yep. And, yeah. It's been a long time. Ten a minute.
Yeah, but grew up with this one unfortunately in those places with those people um they were Jersey kids yeah yeah Jersey kids then we lived in Pennsylvania completely opposite yep two world which yeah completely opposite yeah one extreme to the other and then pa for what like 10 years until she moved and married russ and we were farm girls we had yeah we had a lot of animals yeah we have all the animals nobody wanted all the misfits all the our hobby would go to auction just to save them from slaughter, and they were not good when they got there.
No, it was really, like, the weirdest group of unwanted horses. Thumbs up the whole place, though, and it's perfect. We did that together, and we were farm people for a bit, surrounded by the Amish.
And when they let us out for yard time yeah we did music was always a big thing so concerts were a big one for us mainly handsome concerts we did that we would go to movies there was our was in the mall yeah yeah with like zero dollars drop us off at like 10 and no no way to tell time left us alone no phones no watches and just said yeah you're back so we would have to ask strangers do you have my time that was fun and then she wouldn't talk to anybody so if we did have five dollars to get food because you could get food for five dollars i would have to order for her She's older i didn't speak for the record any human beings until i was 18 at least yeah 18 years old i say that people think i'm joking no i didn't speak to anyone i didn't know until i was like 18 years yeah and that's why this is so weird and strange it works we balance each other out a little bit i think it's good yeah i think our personalities are similar but like on so many levels eerily similar but then on so many other levels completely different opposites yeah and i'm not shy yeah but i am an introvert yeah which is hard to explain yeah but like a bulldog if somebody needs help yeah got you i've got you yeah yeah stand up for what's right yeah absolutely yeah i there's therapy and drugs for that i don't know yeah i don't really understand it either well yeah she found out pretty much about this whole world and this lifestyle with everybody else when everyone we were outed and then our kids found that everybody knew she was obviously one that i ran to and also i had no one else to talk to it about it was a very like See you next time.
were outed and then our kids found that everybody knew she was obviously one that I ran to and also I had no one else to talk to it about it was a very like secret life that I had been living and it was a weird thing I was navigating I wasn't really sure myself if this was okay it feels wrong people tell you it's wrong and you're being told that all the time and it's like I need a neutral party that's not actually a part of it, not, you know, in it, and someone I trusted. That's not going to go on Facebook. And, yeah, and be like, she's not sure, she doesn't know this is what's going on.
Which is crazy.
Yeah, I couldn't, I just could never, I just would never, yeah, she was one of the few we could trust with our information, and just or it was nice to just get it out and tell somebody like because we were excited like we were everyone else thinks we are we were ashamed and sad no we were excited to discover this and find our people and this is exactly what we were looking for but we couldn't say that to anyone so it is like suffocating and so how did you find out do you remember i think it was just a phone call yeah i'm pretty sure it was it was fairly early within your start journey and we were just talking about something and you were like i don't i i need to talk about something but it's kind kind of crazy, and you're the only one that I can talk to about it.
And it's scary to say it out loud, especially at the beginning at that time. I wasn't even ready to admit it, or what was—it was very, like, shame—there was a lot of shame behind it. Right. Because at that time, too, I was being outed and told that I was making my husband do stuff. I was for it was going to go bad. We were going to divorce each other and everything. So I was lost in that, like, run and hide. I should just run and hide. But also, like I said, I was excited. I had found this new world and stuff. And then what were your initial thoughts at first?
I think the very generic thought is, are being safe what's this going to do to your marriage what does this mean for your kids if it doesn't go well wondering if this is a long-term thing or just like a fun little moment that you're having which so very stereotypical thoughts of oh she's doing these things that, you know, you do you. Yeah, but you could get hurt. I don't know where you're meeting these people or what you're doing and going away to do these crazy rave parties. Yeah, like going away for these big hotels, but you never know what could happen.
And just not knowing how it ran and how the safety protocol.
No idea how organized it was or the standards that you guys have i had no idea what were some of your initial misconceptions stigma that you thought of swingers yeah no i thought it was like old naked white dudes yeah i say that um old men that's what i always thought yeah was nudist colony yeah very nudist just typical they want to be seen naked yeah not you necessarily but are you just hanging out with like old guys and is it like no what's in it for you is there money in it for you because then sure well to be like oh yeah this is just to have fun and hang yeah so just a very stereotypical stereotypical rudimentary understanding of what actually happens or doesn't happen yeah the fact that most all the time nothing happens and most of the time people are too terrified to take their clothes it's the same as any other yeah world where but the opportunity but it's there if you is there yeah yeah and i think that it is a safer space but the i think the lack of pressure yes is what i think you find the thing it really is just a space to be whatever it is you want to be if you want to wear sweat pants and a sweatshirt the whole time and cover your face go on ahead if you want to wear nothing go on ahead and it's just a safe space to do that.
Yes. Right. Always. Yes. We're like a little bit of both. A little bit of both. And then what were your initial feelings about the whole experience, the whole thing? And separate just, okay, we'll separate that.
How are your initial feelings about being on social media and being a public spokesperson and swinger for the lifestyle and then being just in lifestyle in general okay did they differ at all or was it all just slumped into so i think in general i think it's awesome i am just happy that you finally found your people that's something that you know even though you've had other friends in the past i don't think you genuinely had like really strong connections with a lot of people i'm i feel like there was a bit of a mask on like you were always just trying to be a part of normalcy and that's super lame and it always ends up like something always happens.
And you're not true. No. To who you are. And that's so boring. You don't even know who you are after a while. You lose yourself. Or you like, yeah. So I think in that sense, I was really happy for you. And I still am. I think it's awesome that you have these people and you have this community. And I don't judge what people do.
I think What you do if it makes you happy and it doesn't hurt anybody is absolutely none of my business and then the social media aspect is funny because you've been talking about different parts of it or going viral or even starting this podcast you talked about for so long and i'm just like yeah cool do it but i don't know what your reach is because i'm blocked everywhere exactly um i to me didn't necessarily seem real or tangible because i don't see any of that and i don't need to i think for me it's like even doing this is it just seems like we're talking with microphones, and I'm not sure why we're not singing.
Because we have microphones? We can do it in an oscillating fan, or we don't sound as good. Because we have microphones? Yeah. But it just, to me, like, that is the aspect of it, where it's like, and it's not that I don't believe you, but I don't see that side of it. So, like, good for you, and I know that it does affect you in a lot of ways. Like there's a lot of positivity out there, but there's a lot of negativity out there. And then putting your face in the public eye and speaking out about these things could have negative response from a lot of people.
Or I'm curious sometimes about just the hate that's out there for so many things that people simply don't understand or refuse to try to understand because... There's just fear. There is. There's a huge fear. So to me, I'm curious how that affects you or like the job. I know you've said people in the workplace could lose their jobs or somebody calls Child Protective Services. People are so shitty.
But also that's why we're there but that exactly so i understand the message and i understand why you're so passionate about it and i'm here like nothing but support you know that but i think that's the difference is i do see that you could be the next hot button issue and your face could be plastered all over the five o'clock news i think that is where just a genuine concern comes in like protection because these people are fine not not only that but you have to be scrutinized on what you look like all day every day and you know me yeah i've never had i've always struggled there i'm not here to be perceived oh no no yeah she hates like social media is she is not a big fan not a big fan already no so i really struggle and i think we both have in a lot of ways like yeah i am not i always say my phrase is i am the worst content creator you will ever meet because i don't want a phone i want them to all explode i don't want anyone to have internet anymore i don't know people i just i think it's we have become sometimes the worst of ourselves with these phones and social media and like i let's be honest buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated sketchy or low quality that's why i want to tell you about mood.com that's M-O-O-D dot com.
Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flower, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood.
And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com to get started. You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign.
Start your new podcast for free today at rss.com. A flip phone less than 10 years ago.
The only reason sometimes why I think I still have a smartphone is because I have a business and I run a business on that smartphone and i need to take photos and i am supposed to be posting on instagram apparently and blah but i just don't i think it's so inauthentic now for me to try to be something i'm not but i also don't have this big of a message or a platform or and you get to a point where you just be yourself and absolutely that's like that's my biggest compliment that i get on these weekends and stuff is that i love that you're real i love that you're real i don't have time but if you don't have that what the hell are you doing exactly and i it i don't know i just never will understand people that put on a persona and try something yeah to be something that they're not i can't it's exhausting and three years i would have been burnt out and gone long gone by now i have to make content daily post three five times a day there's it's too exhausting i can't be anything that i can but then again when you talk to these humans and you meet these couples that were like you're the reason that we're here you're the reason that you change our life and that that alone it's just like to hear and to see people in real life and put faces behind the social media names to see that there are real people real human beings behind these followers yeah they're not just and these comments and these supporters or how you encourage people i think sometimes to introduce themselves that would hide or not admit to themselves yeah yeah just being free to be themselves and yeah we like to focus on a lot like body positivity and owning and wearing whatever you feel best and i know it's a constant struggle i also am very real about that it's i am always talking about all of my issues and mentally what I got going on.
And they are all aware of all of my things. And I am just at the point where I finally don't give a fuck. Like, I just don't give a fuck about what people think about me. And it's been pretty liberating and amazing. Looking to add some excitement to your social life? Meet 3Fun, the free app that connects open-minded singles and couples for fun adventures. With thousands of active users, 3Fun is our ticket to new friendships, flirty encounters, and unforgettable experiences. The best part? It's completely free to use. No hidden fees or subscription. Ready to join the fun?
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Any questions or any things that you still don't know about anything that you aren't sure about the lifestyle because i know you are very removed from it like from my perspective you always had a strong marriage but at any point has it gotten in the way of your marriage or have you felt like you might need to step back not for have there been any moments where you're like no no. At the beginning, it goes through the initial jealousy. Jealousy is a normal human reaction. And it is a normal human emotion. And you've been married. I've been married to him.
I was married 10 years at that point to the same person. Once you worked out that initial, it's nothing to do with him. That was a me issue.
It's usually jealousy stems from some kind of insecurity insecurity something you've got going on and once we first worked through that initial feeling of just i don't know how to feel this i don't know just watching that was a crazy thing that you never expected ever to see that you were trained all your life to keep all the women away keep all the men away keep all everybody away from themselves their possession yeah like i owned them or something and so that personally this has brought us so much closer to be able to just be like i've always had this fantasy or i've always wondered what this was like or i think she's hot i think we should pursue that i think just to be able to be open and sex is uncomfortable sometimes.
And just to be able to be like, this is what's going on. Just to be free to communicate about how this feels, how I don't like this. Not always what I do, but I don't want. You don't have to just sit there and take it. Yeah, you don't have to.
The empowerment that must come with it has to be pretty and it brings you together as you know as a spouse and i it has we always say like it can either make or break a relationship it can it exposes any cracks because this those jealousy feelings those possession possessive feelings all of that if you're not a solid and good pretty good relationship which i think like when you look at the average relationship, there's so much of that. And people talk to me about so much. And it's people spending a lot of their marriages just pretending. Or just existing. Or being.
Or I just have to accept it and be miserable. Which is crazy. And I think. And to think that no one ever is going to ever fantasize about being with anyone ever for the rest of their life is not practical. No, and that's like totally normal. Humans weren't made to be monogamous. No, and I think having... To say that. Having the need to have sex, it's not even sometimes a... Yeah. It's just something that we do because we're mammals. Reading, sleeping, and sucking, we always say are the three things that...
But then having a consciousness at the same time, and then you have society that has told you don't do it your entire life that not only is your body wrong but what you want to do with just thinking about it is wrong yeah you know having these thoughts is wrong just i think even the conversation about the conversation like i talk to people but just even when i was growing up nobody talked about masturbation or like I always was sometimes the I want to say aggressor in a situation but the more like dominant person in a situation I always just knew what I wanted and went for it and I was okay with that and I was the opposite but I never got to explore and figure out what i needed and so i thought i was broke i was broken i thought right and i was never felt comfortable enough to be like i don't know what i need i mean the opposite thing or like to know that this isn't going to work for me that you can have that say and that should be safe and if it's not a good situation that's a problem and i think so many people or so many women especially like now i hear people talking about masturbation it's become normalized like it's okay to be exactly just exploring and now it's like everybody i talk to they're like well most everyone in this type and it's but it's totally normal yeah yeah and to like a huge chunk of the people in this lifestyle are people that have been married for a long time to men or women.
And then they're interested in trying other genders and stuff. And why not do it in a safe space? Yeah, when they can be safe and do it with someone who understands communication and consent and doing all of it.
Do you get a lot of people that are trying to explore and then back pedal or or just curious and then they're like actually never mind here lately by men are really lately we have a lot of friends a lot of men that are coming out that have been suppressed and shamed for a very long time that have been just very masculine men just their whole lives that are we like to call themious bi-friendly yeah and they i have been watching a lot of their journeys where they're down for maybe but they're not sure and some of them have said just kidding that wasn't what i wanted and that's okay that's but yeah there has been more than ever i've seen more men were finally being able to communicate and open up their yeah open up their up their mouth and be like, I might like something else.
I've been told this is what I like, but maybe there's more. And I have watched, and not always, you're not going to know until you try it. But why not have a safe space that's clean and like a good safe place to do it? And that's really what it's about. And to know that like, if you don't, if you aren't having a good time.
Yeah good time you can say that they're not going to turn around and do anything spiteful or vengeful or anything like that i think that's like a like we're all here scary thing together yeah and you have people that'll hype you up if you need it and support you if you don't you know and it's been fun i've loved watching that journey that over the last three years that's been the biggest change i think for me is watching a lot of friends like male friends of ours finally like they're finally feeling confident enough and secure enough and safe enough with the lifestyle to be like maybe it's not necessarily their ego we're like yes sometimes you would think it's like about masculinity or something like that but yeah i don't know to me the definition of masculinity is secure just security yourself yeah but that's not big tough guy's security it's security within your feelings and your yeah and that self to have these men that will space for you and just make you feel it's okay i won't touch you i don't need to touch you and just a healing yes i may i imagine to have men you know and women but i'm gonna need every man a problem for future reference to say may i before speaking to me before speaking eye contact and touching yeah and contact as well don't even breathe without my permission.
Get. Get out of here. Go on, get. Don't get. We have found ourselves really awesome meds that tolerate us. But we do have a lot of early men trauma. Men were not a safe space. That's the thing. I had never.
We never had men in our life found positive that and we didn't have a good example of us no there was not at all yeah there was positive male in our world always negative things so it's still a struggle yeah i think for both of us to accept being safe you can feel like safe to see existing with men yeah i still struggle our whole our whole lives i still struggle and yeah as i said so to have found that not only with a husband who has that this relationship is strengthened with you guys now but to find it with other men and even if it's just, hey, let me be your friend or let me, the respect is something that is not, I think, normal, especially when you grow up the way that we did.
And I'm a big girl, like you growing up in a larger body, especially you are deemed less than or unworthy of so they either ignore you or you're the ticket to your skinny friend or you are you're used or you're used for a kink that they're ashamed to tell people and that's what it is too where they don't want to be seen in public with you so there's a lot of shame i think that comes with even having sex with men in a larger body. Yeah, just sex at all. Sex at all, absolutely. And that, so, I think it's really cool that you found that. It sounds like I'm so intrigued.
And I, like, I want to be a part of it.
I want, like, I'm so interested in just being in a space where I don't feel judged at all times i think that it that sounds so cool i have friends but i have friends on a normal friend level so there's still things that i think people or vanilla people as we call them because i'm we know just vanilla no but like the mindset i've not ever i think been a very judgmental person oh yeah no my face tells on me in public with strangers but generally as far as if you want to wear what you want be whoever you want to be i am so supportive of pretty much everybody but myself in this aspect that i i just am not a judgmental person i think whatever you want to do if it makes you happy you're not hurting anybody absolutely my life yeah do it it does not affect me and people are hurting anyone no and if people are hateful or people that choose to hate a group of people or anything that you're doing that's not a reflection of you that's you aren't doing anything wrong that's them so truly understanding that and it's something i think so basic that people say all the time but at the end of the day like you're really not hurting anybody you're happy and other people don't know how to be so i think as far as accepting a family member like just fucking be cool dude no who gives a shit she's having the time of her life she's helping people which is because we've had family i mean we've lost pretty much his entire family because of the fact that all of a sudden it was thought that we were different you're listening to a podcast right now working out, walking the dog.
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Start free at rss.com people yeah from one day to the other and it which blows my mind i think like i don't know i don't know you're my person no i think there's no there's nothing that you can do that's going to change that especially my sex life my private consensual which is seriously none of my business like i I would i just never happily not know if you didn't tell me but i think the fact that you're comfortable telling me means that like i'm doing something right no no yeah because we have ever we were saying we were talking about a little bit earlier with russ like this space is becoming so much bigger every single event we do we just we're fresh out of secret so we we met poly couples that were there with each other and then their primary spouses were both at home and they just wanted them to go have fun together go on a little trip and they hated they were like he hates this stuff he hates swinger events he hates the partying he just wants to relax he more of that vibe and then you see people lg LGBTQ members, just coming out just to, again, be safe and express yourself.
Because, unfortunately, they need a safe space. But they can't do that safely every day, which blows my mind. But also— They're married, and it's their spouse.
But I think that's what concerns me, is that just seems like the obvious next step with everything culturally that people demonize is lgbtq are you guys the next victim or the current victim and i just don't hear about it as much but to think about people politicizing what you're doing or people losing their jobs again or their kids or you just becoming the next hot button topic and being the face of that is is crazy like i yeah no full support out of me always yeah it's like someone has to do it but yeah absolutely like somebody has to blaze the freaking trail it's not always sunshines and nightlums but man it's worth it in the long run yeah that's what the thing you have to back up for a minute sometimes and you have that's why I love going and working these events and stuff is because you get to have a face-to-face conversation with people where you put no one has phones yeah put the phones away which is my favorite right my favorite part about it is we disappear because we're not allowed to have phones it's a very discreet world it's a very quiet world so if you get to sit down across from someone and have a full conversation and you get to meet people that follow you and you talk online all the time but then to get we have really close friends that were like i would have never known this existed if it wasn't for you and i hear that at least a few times a week where you've changed our marriage you have saved our marriage you have opened up this whole line communication.
We never even knew. It just feels right. I just don't understand. There's so much hate for something that's so good. And I will never understand it. I never will. But like you said, unfortunately, STDs, everyone thinks we're just running around when it's the opposite. And we're tested very regularly. We always protection. You always see all the things.
And like we are i've never met if i go to the bar and have a one night stand with some dude just leave with do i ever ask him do you have the testing results yeah what when is your last test when and protection is not you're not you're communicating better communicating with these and we all can be open and just be like this is what when i was tested i always use I always used this protection. Do you like latex? Do you not? And just to be able to actually have that conversation, like what makes you comfortable? And these are my boundaries and these are my rules.
And if not, I'll find somebody else that can fulfill that. But if you're like finding people out on Tinder and all these places, like know i've been there and there was never any of those steps quite like there is with the lifestyle the safety and the protection and it's just fascinating that in 2024 after everything that we have been through even in our lifetime that this like biblical nuclear family mentality still drives so many people. And I don't think they even understand why or think about it. But it's just, oh, that's the way I was raised. This is right. This is wrong.
But, like, I think Jesus would probably be in the community. Yeah. So down. Love everyone. Yeah. Love everyone.
Isn't that the whole point i mean i'm not like super down with the bible but i believe that he was a super cool yeah he seemed that would love everyone and again love love your neighbor i love everyone hey everyone if you ever wondered where we get our outfits accessories and even some of the cool decor that you see in our content look no further we've got it all linked in our amazon storefront from stylish fits fun accessories to the decor that sets the vibe we've handpicked our favorites just for you head over to our amazon storefront to check it out and you might just find something that fits your style shopping our picks helps support the show so thank you for all the love all right and then bouncing off of that what advice would you give to let a lot a lot of our lifestyle friends have never told any of their family members most of them none of their family members know whatsoever because they're terrified of their own family's reaction as they don't always take it so great like we were talking about what advice do you have with someone that has a family member that they would like to come out to you how would you approach them how would you bring it up because mine was definitely just a spew just i can't tell you something and i you just let it out and it didn't never eloquently that's me we go hard yeah we talked to so many people that are just like, I'm too terrified.
What do I even say to begin the conversation? Just, you can't dip your toes ever so lightly. I think it depends, obviously, on the situation and who you're talking to.
But I don't think that I would start with the word swinger that i think that's the stigma right there don't be like hey i'm swinging and it's just a word it carries all of the stereotypes it really is just a word uh non-monogamy ethical non-monogamy everything sounds better if you say it that way anything does but i think yeah find a way to say hey i've been doing this thing yeah or we've found some friends, and it's a group of people. It's a large group of people. Or do you think people should just stay quiet and not say anything? Not necessarily. I think it depends on the situation.
If you want to tell the person and you think they can handle it, then you should tell the person.
You probably have enough probably have enough trust hopefully yeah have faith that person is going to be an adult about it or be respectful or care enough about you to at least hear you out yeah but yeah i think there's just so much in the word swinger i think you used it with me and that's why my brain automatically just went to old freaking naked people yeah we make fun of that word all of the time because there's a very word in this there are so many ways to say what's happening with saying that word but yeah i think if you're choosing somebody if you're entrusting that with someone then you already know you can you already know that relationship is fine but i do think as humans we to let people in.
I think it's too big of a secret sometimes. And it doesn't have to be. And the only way that you create understanding around it is talking to people about it that aren't in it.
It's just a little thing also also with social media as well it's like a smaller scale of starting conversations and and breaking those stereotypes and breaking down those misconceptions and this is how it really is and it's not all that you think it is which i think at least it in my experience that happened over years that happened over years of conversations and it didn't dominate all of our conversations but it's such a big part of your life so if i didn't know that the lifestyle because it's part of who we are it's a lifestyle and that's yeah and maybe that's the way and for hey i'm a lot of you some people a lot of a big chunk of people this is just a fun activity they do once a year this is just a fun place to go you know what i mean and so i want to go to the safe party where everybody's just fucking cool yeah just a once a year trip to jamaica just to be naked and live your best life but then there's others that are like me where it surrounds my entire life and i think that's where i was just i need to get this off my chest yeah this is who i am as a person period and also you're close to my husband you're close to us both so this is our dynamic now and how how we're navigating the world but yeah and then to close it off and to make it less we got the official podcast questions but are there any stories anything that you would like to people to know more about me or our relationship or any good trauma dumping anything fun our listeners are so how much time so fun they would appreciate a cool story or yeah a backstory something funny literally anything is funny okay all of our life is pretty pretty fun everything but it just it usually just comes organically yeah Yeah.
We're a pretty fun bunch. Yeah. I think our mom passed away. Our mom died. So that's the big one. Yeah, a big back story. Or that's one of the big ones. And we have a very dry sense of humor. Yeah. And we laugh. All the time. So we don't cry.
At things we're not supposed to laugh at yeah everything is funny just in general yeah that kind of sums up pretty much our relationship and every story is and like i can tell you literally anything and i don't have to sugarcoat it and i think part of that is because we hail from new jersey and for some reason i feel like more of it is in me yeah i don't know i I like... I feel like more of a Jersey... Every time somebody's... I'm like, no, I'm from Jersey. Yeah. It just felt like it explains me a little bit more. It does. I think just being from Illinois or North Carolina or Pennsylvania.
Yeah. Jersey is where I come from. That's my root. Absolutely. I think it's a root thing. It's a foundational thing. So what's important is that we learned how to read there.
That is very important got our cultural kind of awareness there we went to a really cool elementary school that just it was so diverse but they respected that we had like parades and every heritage day we had so many food from your people and we were the only ones who were like hey what's our culture and it was a regular thing it wasn't just a once a year it was like a regular it was cotton talent shows from different oh hell yeah different dances and all the cultures like i remember mixing bowl just everything that was probably one of our best i think that is like one of the best things that could have happened to us and that's when things were good like our mom slept all the time because she worked our mom was also backstory like our mom and then stepdad was like their factory workers and they worked third shifts and so we were very much yeah we went from raised ourselves together we spent like we did spend a substantial amount of time in this couple's attic playing video games but i don't think they had kids like fran the neighbor across the street we had another family that i used to play sonic the hedgehog and now looking back i don't think there was children there it was just a family that i would just but luckily we weren't like the cutest kids nobody wanted to take us no so we were pretty safe we were just like those weird kids but then it caused us like i think in pennsylvania was a lot of like i'm done i just it was very separate in our own space.
We separated then when we got older. It was. So we were like always together. And then we moved into this really old farmhouse. But then it was that transition was a lot on us. And I don't think we still unpacked a lot of it. We were teenagers. We were.
Going through puberty and growing up and angst just that angst that you already it was so the situation wasn't no the situation wasn't conducive for us to be as close like we tried we had our moments but then we were always there was always wedge driven and we were pinned against each other a lot so i think that is really just conducive to this whole backstory like you did trust me enough to tell me that yeah it's a lot more of a backstory yeah like our dynamic and our relationship and yeah we've got a whole we've got lots of stories too many stories one time we decided we were going to do sister trips i was like just picture this 2019 and we did a sister trip and we both flew well no we were in I was in my kitchen we were on the phone we talked for like at least three four hours every time we were on the phone and we were like we want to travel the world you were still living in Illinois I was in North Carolina there but like we didn't see each other quite as much because you didn't live as close so we were like we should.
We need to go somewhere. So we just picked a place and we needed to go to Texas because we grew up with the horses and the country music. We were like, we're going to go to where the line dancing is. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With rss.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy.
Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple podcasts spotify amazon music and more track your listeners see where they're from and start earning from ads just like this if you've been thinking about starting a podcast this is your sign start your new podcast for free today at rss.com happens yeah so we're going to go to texas so we booked Airbnb. We thought it was going to be great. It says walkable to all the things and stuff. Right in the middle of the town. It's such a good, so great location. Or a college. It was like a college town, but it was very run down, this whole area.
So we opened the door. There's this two-inch gap at the bottom of the front door.
and then we were just accosted with the smell of like the purple beads that you used to get and put under your car seat from the freaking dollar store yeah it was the most disgusting smell i have ever smelled yeah so we started unplugging and getting her into that immediately because i was headache like once you walk in the door you got a headache again right here like it was but it was that bad so we built around and it's an airbnb and there's no food no water which they don't owe us that but like no yeah usually they give you a little little basket of fun and we're not like walkable to anything at all so we try we're like hungry we gotta eat we're so we walk down and we find that we are walkable to at least some stuff but it's like the clubbing area yeah yeah party nightlife yes right it was not us it was not even open yet no we were we were not those people no and like in retrospect now we would probably probably could now yeah but at the time we just i was probably dressed and fucking like business casual right come on we wanted to go to like art in art museum like so cold and she only had sandals yeah and i lived in north carolina i was expecting a little bit warmer i think no it was not it was february easy oh it's so cold so cold so and so we did all like the touristy things we really tried the line dancing we didn't find food every food place we went was just i think we finally got water at a cvs to take back with us the third by the third day we found water and then it was also the overwhelming amount of body shaming that we went through that was traumatic and i think that really did a little number on my brain because we i was bigger back then a lot i was my biggest back then and it was a partier more downtown it was a more of a party college vibe where we were and so we would we just wanted food we were so hungry the whole weekend we were big girls but we still wanted some food every couple days.
You still have to eat. We barely ate the whole time if they only knew. We barely were eating. It was a very... Searching for food, walking down the street, they would stop their cars to yell things at you. They would scream out the windows. They would proposition you, right? Dressed in business casualty.
We just wanted some some freaking food and as soon as you didn't like acknowledge them then i think they and we were scared we were just we were terrified we were terrified so we would just put our head down keep walking in the tent and they would follow you and there were people there were like cars following women that looks drunk and things like that so it was not it didn't seem like a safe area anyway no it felt but when somebody drives past you honks and says damn that's a big bitch like i think right when i got there somebody made like a they made a pig noise yeah they oinked at me there's a lot of and like we're in texas i've no i've never once ever received that much that hate about my body or like just open yeah so that really freaking sucked and i've been places it's not the first place i've ever been i've we've never experienced that before and that was yeah that was a huge and i do now that i think about it right after that was when i really almost immediately yeah and i think that looking back within months working through stuff now but yeah thinking back now i think that was a really pivotal moment where it was like i don't want to ever feel like that anymore i want to do whatever i can and i feel like that and it we'd laughed and we tried to brush it off but again ties into absolutely it's loving yourself and dealing with the shame and people unfortunately are mean and cruel and there's nothing you can about it.
But we did end up surviving that trip. We did, but we found the restaurant. We aged 10 years more. Do you remember the one restaurant where we went and we got like the meat platter because we figured we could have leftovers for like the next day in our Airbnb? Yeah. We finally found food. We finally found food. It was like midnight. They're closing. And it was some not great barbecue restaurant. And they're like ready to close. And we have all these leftovers. And the guy brings over containers. And he's just talking to us. And as. We make friends wherever we do. Yeah.
This guy was pretty cool. But as he's talking to us. He starts starts taking the plates and now he's like stacking the dirty plate on top of some of the leftovers and we're watching him do this and we're like laughing i'm we just start laughing and oh i took your leftovers and we're like yeah why do you think we were laughing and then we're trying to tell. He was not listening. He just kept talking. Talking, yeah. And never offered us anything. He never offered us anything. Yeah, never offered us anything. My bad. Yeah, no.
Hey, do you think you could give us, like, I don't know, a singular sausage for tomorrow? We could share. No. Ooh, let me give you some money back. Everything that could went wrong. Anything. Yeah. So this trip was, like, just fucking worse. Everything.
It was a good time it was it was the best trip of my life and i ended up making it a good memory yeah like it was one of my favorite trips we've ever taken but only because it brought us closer than yeah i think that was like one of the trips that really brought us closer to where we are now so i do i'm glad we went i'm glad we did it the plan was go up to pa we did a whole road trip yeah summer where we were traveling all of the time hey beautiful if you're looking to feel confident and sexy voluptuous fixin has got you covered with stunning lingerie and outfits that fit every curve and for our listeners you can snag 10 off your order with code hot couple at checkout.
Don't miss out. Check out the link below and find your next favorite piece. So in retrospect, like just being a swinger really wasn't that big compared to the rest of the stuff we've been through. And I think that's why I'm not judgmental. And you can't really surprise me. I'm grateful for that. There's a part of me that's like that really, we've learned how to deal with a lot of different humans and a lot of different dynamics and a lot of different relationships. And we've had to bond through that and kept communication through that. And we're still working on that every, all the time.
Just being raised in a way where we weren't allowed to like each other yeah to have to fight through that and fight through a way to learn how to find happiness or some semblance of contentment or complacency whatever it is at any moment of just learning to get by but then also learning to rebuild ourselves and our relationship in general and this has just been another just one another thing that we've navigated just a whole nother yeah just another part of the journey and also nothing surprises me anymore at this point yeah the back the whole every time we're together Bye-bye.
that could happen. Oh, it happens. Happens. It's a thing with us. We laugh about it all the time, but it's so true. Anything that can go wrong, anything that can be late, anything that could not work out. That's usually how it goes for us.
It's just another there's another end i mean this is just how doing this now it is now so now we're just adding that on that's how i roll but it is and i think the ultimate like one of my favorite stories to tell and i can't tell everybody this because not everybody will think it's as funny as no that's what most things are but people feel sorry for us when we get to talking and i always say okay i always say when i see a hundred dollar bill benjamin franklin that's our mom that's our mother's face he looks so much if you put eddie munster's hairline on Benjamin Franklin, that's our mom.
It's true. It's true, though. It's not good nor bad. It simply is. It's a statement. It's a statement. So I'm like, that's my mom. And we do have a different relationship, I think, than a lot of people mostly are used to. She also looks like the guy in Breaking Bad. Yeah. The grandpa with the bell. Yeah. That's also the same face. Okay, so you need to look at Benjamin Franklin with Eddie Munster's hairline, but then also look at that guy. It's a permanent scalp. I'm Kenny Twins. I have done photos of her, paused the TV. it's the same face. It's just a face.
I think I love finding similarities in people. I saw George Booth the other day in a restaurant. But, okay. And then my favorite, one of my personal favorite stories. And this only goes to, like, people who are in the club. If you're not cool, you can't hear this story.
So, if this off this offends you that's nobody then we're not your people unfortunately but thank goodness so they're safe we our mom married this guy and he is we have to say he's our stepdad but he at no point tried to like be a father figure he tried to be because that's what we didn't have names like that was who we were diane and diane's girls yeah like that's how he would and like for 20 years that's how he would introduce us so what's really cool is that her first tattoo is diane's girls and we went together and russ and i fought for years over who was going to get her first tattoo and i obviously won you didn't know what you wanted and then it just happened like on the phone where we were just once we yeah once i was like oh diane's girls and i was like oh and she had just we were looking i was looking for something to represent, like, her and all of that and stuff.
And it was just one last middle finger. Yeah. Yeah, Diane's gross. But dude's wacky. And, like, so many stories. This crazy weird world that we're navigating and we're trying to do our best. And we're not sure what we're doing. It could be way worse, though. So much worse. It could be lots worse.
So I think knowing all that, we're actually it's not going sure what we're doing this could be way worse though so much worse it'll be lots lots worse so i think knowing all that we're actually doing great it's not that surprising that we're doing the things we're doing and we're we're living the life that we're living and all makes sense really and the whole grant things and then yeah it adds on it adds up that's about it that's that was all we got for an hour that was a lot in a whole hour That was a lot. And there's more I could definitely keep going and keep talking.
And we'll have to do this again for sure. Maybe my husband can join us next time. I live here. Yeah. We know where you live. And we do find ourselves back here quite often. Round of applause for the record room. Yeah. Isn't this so cool? This place is where we put our mattress and it's my bedroom when we're here secrets was like the end of the season end of swinger season swinger season is coming to an end we have hopefully a trapeze trip coming up soon with a birthday coming up there soon but we've we're we just today got our room for april we have april starting of that.
Getting rooms and getting all of that situation and then getting codes and tickets going on sale already begins for April. It's crazy how fast time will go and summer will be. We'll be here again before we know it. The time keeps spinning around. But get your ticket.
Make sure that you are still liking and following and sharing and all of the things on all of the stuff because we are just starting we're still trying to get out there we're still trying to call to our people and let them know we're even here so we will be back next week with some more fun you never know who we're gonna have or we're gonna do as you can see you never know we'll surprise you with all the things but if there's anything that you would ever want to talk about any questions that you have anyone that you want to hear more from let us know we got all of that in the show notes below no thanks yeah other than her sorry i'll make her if you really want her to but yeah it's not as easy as it looks but then And I just liked it a little bit.
And it was fun. It was good. It's because they let me hold my own microphone. Yeah, I's not as easy as it looks. But then, I just liked it a little bit. It was fun. It was good. It's because you let me hold my own microphone. You got a whole microphone. Your dreams came true in the end. Yeah, thanks for joining us on Hackable Chronicles. We will talk to you soon. It's not that serious. Don't make it weird.
you're listening to a podcast right now driving working out walking the dog if you're into podcasts chances are you have something to say too with rss.com starting your own podcast is free and easy upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at rss.com.
