In this episode of Hot Couple Chronicles, Russ and Ashley explore their journey into the lifestyle and offer tips on discussing swinging with your partner. They share their unique experience of discovering swinging together and overcoming initial misconceptions about the term 'swinger.'Special thanks to @nominalfilter for the original music! Check them out on SoundCloud: NominalFilter.Find All Our Links Here: LinktreeUpcoming Events:Pineapple After Dark’s Glow Night! Use code HOTCPLGA for 10% off: TicketsSwinger Society’s Back Stage Pass Takeover at Secrets Hideaway: More InfoFollow Us:Instagram: @hotcouplechroniclesTikTok: @hotcouplechroniclesFacebook: @ThatHotCoupleInGAInstagram: @HotCoupleInGATikTok: @thathotcouple_ingaX: @ThatCoupleInGALocal Communities:SDC: 2 free weeks with code 36775: JoinSLS: 1 Month FREE: Sign Up3Fun: Free app for local swingers: DownloadSwinger Society Discord: Join 40,000+ swingers: JoinHealth Wellness:Shameless Care: $30 off ED meds or STI testing: OrderHello Wisp: 15% off sexual health prescriptions with code INGA15: ShopPremium Content:Ashley’s VIP OnlyFans: No Pay Per View: VIP OnlyFansAshley’s PPV OnlyFans: OnlyFansAshley’s Fansly: FanslyRuss’ OnlyFans: Russ OnlyFans
Transcript
You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle.
Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences. While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on this adventure.
i'm russ and i'm ashley and this is hot couple chronicles so welcome back we are going to talk this episode is going to be about how we got into the lifestyle and kind of touch on how to get on the in the lifestyle well that's one of our top questions that we get asked all the time every day all day is how do you even become a swinger how does that even happen and our journey is a lot different than most every single other couple we talk to I didn't have to come to you and say this is something I'm interested in or you didn't have to come to me or we found it together I don't I don't know like I I try to you know now that I know things and I kind of know how to you know communicate a little bit better and stuff like that i could i give people tips on how they could possibly approach their partner with this lifestyle but i could never imagine going up to him especially like years ago and saying you know i would i'm interested in sleeping with other people a lot of times the unicorns people want to have a third you know a threesome or you know or like i said bisexual or something like that but we found the lifestyle together we had no idea swingers even existed it was always something like a fantasy people talk about like or they're like 70 year old people from florida like or keys in the bowl like that's all i knew about saying old people with the loofahs on the golf carts and that's the only that's what was in my head and i know it's in most people's heads as well when they think of swingers because we had a really hard time with the word swinger and i think just now not you know pretty recently actually started admitting and saying that we're swingers yeah i mean it's an ick word it is even most a lot of the connotation that it's old people old people with the bulls you know keys in the bull and yeah it wasn't until recently that i was like i'm a swinger it's like that's a very long time to work through that word and get over that word and i know most of our a lot of our lifestyle friends hate that word as well yeah and a lot of them will not choose to use lifestyle or ls at this point i don't mind yeah they e and m c and m they rather lifestyle ls something like that but yeah it was definitely a word that we had to get over but yeah we we found the lifestyle together luckily we um i don't even know where to begin with that we were in the bdsm lifestyle for 10 years and we had said in the previous episode that we just were always a spicier couple we always kind of like going on date nights and and i mean that's how we kind of found the lifestyle was we went on a date night we shortly after we moved to georgia we had a free weekend went to atlanta yeah his mom came down and they kept the kids for the weekend they're like go you know do something and we hadn't just moved here unless like every other time we had alone like we were always looking for something we always are going spicy so we're looking for like a dungeon or like something to kind of you know do it's a little bit spicier and we're looking something like for for something like a strip club but we were actually looking for something a little spicier so we were looking for a sex club well we were looking more like a dungeon type vibe yeah we were looking for anything more than a strip club because yeah i don't know we'd done that and we did that and it's fun but it was just we always left and we're like okay like now what it was just not that exciting it wasn't what we really were looking for and so yeah we wanted to go to atlanta because we didn't get to explore it yet we had just moved here and we had never been really so we're like we're just gonna yeah like we're just gonna go to the go to atlanta for the weekend have you know we did the tourist thing we went there and we had we did the ferris wheel we did the zoo we did the aquarium and uh yeah we uh decided to start looking around and we found tokyo valentino which is a sex store which we do we do usually it's a beautiful sex shop sex shops are like um that's another thing we would do we go to the sex shop or sex store and yeah you know then we'd go to strip club and that was about as crazy as we could ever find in illinois the sex shop is amazing it was so beautiful it's big i mean we walked in there was some type of event yeah there was something there was i don't think it's always like i don't i couldn't tell you what was going on but there was a guy walk around on stilts they were handing out champagne they gave us flutes of champagne as we walked in it was huge like it's big and i mean way better the sex shop that we when we went to in north carolina the only we could find was in a trailer next to a junkyard or some sort of...
Yeah, it was real shady. You would never know it was there. Yeah. Yeah, it was like an open sign in a window. That's all you could see until we looked it up and then we found out that's what it was. But it was this very tiny little trailer. It was like a one-room trailer. Like, we walk in, the counter was right there. and, like, there was, like, I don't know, pornos along the wall. And then there was one room, and it had, like, your sex toys and stuff like that. Yeah, like, cheap vibrators and cheap. Yeah. Like, yeah. They were all cheap vibrators and toys, but they were not priced cheap.
No, they weren't. No. They were priced,. I'm like, I can get this. It was a high class place. Yeah. Yeah. It was not exactly what we were looking for. Not at all. But we were so excited when we went to Tokyo Valentino because it was like, oh, like he's just walking in and it was like, oh, my goodness. They had all the things. It was so nice.
And on the ride there, the Uber driver had made a comment what did she say something about she taking the trapeze she started talking and she told us about the club downstairs and all that stuff and we're like huh and she's like have you ever been she she's like have you ever been to trapeze she's like i haven't been but i've picked people up from there she's like it's always couples they're so in love and they're so much fun i had assumed it was another sex store like i just assumed it was like another place like we were going i knew it was a club i thought it was like something like we were going to like i thought it was just something yeah kind of like that club so we were like whatever but i didn't know yeah they were like a couple that i just dropped off.
They were so much fun. Yeah, they were so, so in love. They were like, me and my boyfriend, I'd like, I want to take my boyfriend. Yeah, yeah. She's like, I want to go. It seems like a good time. And so we're like, okay. And then we got there and it was so cool. We went shopping and did all that. And then we had heard from her about the sex club.
And also, I think in the store, we had it and they were like go downstairs yeah go outside and around and yeah so that should have been our first clue that should have been our first clue where you have to walk out the back door down fire escape steps yeah and then there's just a steel like black door and you just walk through that and characters sitting outside too and so yeah we went in there and i immediately just like i was terrified like there was kind of a sloppy guy sitting behind a counter in like a computer chair you're listening to a podcast right now driving working out walking the dog if you're into podcasts chances are you have something to say too with rss.com starting your own podcast is free and easy upload an episode and we distribute it to apple podcasts spotify amazon music and more track your listeners see where they're from and start earning from ads just like this if you've been thinking thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign.
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Upload an episode and we distribute it to apple podcasts spotify amazon music and hundreds more track your listeners see where they're from and start earning from ads like this even with just 10 listeners a month if you've been thinking about starting a podcast this is your sign start free at rss.com and he looked at me and he's like i'm like two and he's like are you sure and i'm like yeah he's like okay um so you're i think it was like 25 or something like that he's like and she's free if her uh gender matches or id id i'm like you can prove she's a woman i'm like oh okay i'm like oh sweet she's sweet so yeah if it wasn't for that and i had to pay 50 i don't know i think we might have turned around and went away at that point because i was like but the fact that they were like yeah she can go in for free i'm like whatever what is there to lose we could just go in peak and you know leave if we have to and so he was like are you sure he looked at me and he was like are you sure that you want to go in there because i we had dressed up like we were going out to dinner like i had a little sundress on like a little flower dress on and like he was like yeah i had a waistcoat and a tie because we weren't expecting to go to any club we were just going to check out the sex store go back to the hotel you know go find something else to do and we weren't expecting to go to a club it was just tourists like we were being tourists we were gonna pop in there to the sex store real quick check it out and buy some things and go back but i was not ready for no sex club or anywhere anywhere near that and he was like you know really concerned for me but he let me in and then we walked in and it was a room full of uh i guess you can say glory holes you can say glory holes on here there it's crazy i'm still having a hard time like starting to curse and say the things on here but there's a room full it was probably a dozen different glory holes it was i don't think so so many it was like a warehouse full of holes i've never seen anything like that and i was immediately intrigued i didn't i was like okay like that was one way to start it i didn't realize it was like that and there was people standing outside every single one two guys standing outside and we found out later that it was they were waiting there for somebody to come up to them and take them and say you know take them back to the booth so they can get on one side and you get on the other or whatever like later on we found out talking to people there like that it was mostly married straight men that would come there to find other a lot of guys on the dl i can't unfortunately be open with their sexuality a lot of them were you know sneaking around on their wives and had no idea that was like a thing but yeah learned something new that day and then yeah so this was like a warehouse that was like levels it was levels and levels and levels of fun three stories and had a different activity on each level yeah and it was like it reminded it was very dark which is weird because it's still those three stories but still underneath the sex store and it felt like i feel like there was more than three floors it felt like at least five or six it was like so narrow steps and you would go up to each level and you would have a new activity every single level and it was dark it was like a haunted house it was like that vibe where you don't know where you're going around every corner yeah it was very dark and you're waiting for something to like jump out and scare you and a lot of like buzzing neon light vibes going on like you couldn't really see anything and so we were like okay so we just kept going through following people kind of up the stairs and then the next level was was that the strip club or this oh you go up this narrow staircase and there's like a custodian by himself just mopping that was later because before you get to the staircase you walk through a hallway and on the right hand side was a pitch black room which we did not go in but later the night we walked back down like on our way outside or something and the dodean was just mopping the floor in there yeah by himself there was no one around and he was just the way he was doing it i don't know it was something out of a horror film it was a little a little scary and we were lost and he wouldn't give us direction it was a whole thing but he i think he was getting off on yeah so we went up the stairs and there's another really long hallway at the end of the hallway there's a lot of flashing lights and you see black lights and neons i was like oh but to get there you have to walk down a really long hallway and on the left of that was a dungeon yeah that's where i was happy going to just go there and there was a birdcage a st andrew's cross a couple other things and then another in the corner of that one was another pitch black room yeah and we did venture into there just through of curiosity through there because as soon as we got in there and it was i realized it was full of people but you couldn't see anyone yeah i beelined straight through that sucker because like and i was not at this point i mean we had only had sex with each other for the last 10 years like i was very i was a way different person like i would have never even thought to have sex with other people at that point and so that was all brand new to me no idea what was going on and i was you know just nervous because i was one of the few females there like it was mostly all men there so i was like uh and i just beelined through it right and you know grabbed his shirt and just kept going it was like a haunted house and you had hands like i could feel hands all over me yeah but i didn't know who they were or what was going on or anything and like it blew my mind i was scared i was honestly pretty terrified as one would be i think um at this point now it would be a whole different story especially it was with swingers i wouldn't mind as much but yeah but then we went and then we went to the stripper pole club we went out of that room and we went to the stripper pole club there was a tiny little like rollaway bar yeah tiny and they didn't serve any alcohol here yeah so they had bottles of water i think they had like cans of soda or something like that yeah and then front of that was maybe a yeah it was small so tiny it was a dance floor with a stripper pole in the middle 12 by 12 yeah it was super tiny very little room and then there was like almost like folding chairs along the walls like six of them yeah we all had to fight over and we were all trying to watch because they had entertainment going on like they had strippers there and there was a whole bunch going like music and all sorts of stuff and that's where i felt most comfortable so of course i was like it was the best lit grab a seat yeah it was bright like it was a nightclub like vibe it was more of a strip club vibe i was more comfortable with that at that point and like so we grabbed seats and then they asked us if we wanted to go into the vip section yeah yeah so we had a guy come up to us and he's like you want vip i'm like what does that entail because i don't see like any vip sections yeah and he's like oh he's like it's 20 a person and then you get to come back here and then like in the corner of this room was just a doorway with one rope yeah across it and he's like you get back here you get free alcohol all the alcohol you can drink and that's all we needed we were like snacks we had not had anything to drink we were nervous and so like we wanted to knock off some of those nerves so we were like 20 bucks all you drink yeah yeah snacks yeah like we're good so i gave him 40 he gave us bracelets yeah so we were allowed back there we're allowed to move the rope yeah we had to move the rope or walk around it ourselves.
There was no, nobody policing that. We walked in there and it was a whole bunch of plastic bottles. You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say, too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign.
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Driving, working out, walking the dog.com you're listening to a podcast right now driving working out walking the dog if you're into podcasts chances are you have something to say too with rss.com starting your own is free and easy upload an episode and we distribute it to apple podcasts spotify amazon music and hundreds more track your listeners see where they're from and start earning from ads like this even with just 10 listeners a month if you've been thinking about starting a podcast this is your sign start free at rss.com like svetka vodka yeah it was like they plastic bottles not glass no it wasn't even tito's it was like aristocrat like aristocrat vodka yeah like the lowest they plastic bottles not glass no it wasn't even tito's it was like aristocrat like aristocrat vodka yeah like they did have some like seagrams um and then the snacks were like fruit snacks yeah like gushers gummies like stuff that stuff that like a four-year-old would bring yeah they bought a variety pack of like the lunch like snacks for kids and dumped them in like to a a plastic bowl that was it still worth twenty dollars to me anyway because at that point i just wanted a drink i was happy to pay twenty dollars for a drink just to knock some of the nerves off and to be fair i felt more comfortable doing that because i had a like i cracked the bottles oh yeah they're all over yeah they were all unopened they were all sealed at that point nobody was like oh okay it was early i'm like so like it's not spiked or watered down or anything like that i can yeah i felt safer yeah so we did that yeah made some drinks went back out so watched uh the strippers girls there was some crazy the best entertainment ever if we would i wish that they had strippers like that at regular strip clubs because i would go a lot more often yeah she had doing tricks they did all the tricks they were doing like they were spraying like sprayed so there was one girl that would put a birthday candle in her and light it on fire.
And she'd light the candle. Then she took a hairspray or something and made it turn it into a blowtorch. Yeah, blowtorch. They were shoving stuff in there and blowing a balloon and doing all sorts of crushing. She would pick out little guys and be crushing them. The one girl that we called her Lizzo.
She was so pretty so pretty because she resembled beautiful and uh she's like i want to give a lap dance and i'm like oh yeah i'll do it she looked at me laughed and said i'll crush you or something like that i'm like i would kill you a little whatever so she grabs another guy they were so fun though like they were so sweet so nice even like there was a there was like two couples that we kind of hung around and followed and but they were doing the same thing we do we're doing and they were we like all were having a pretty good time like it was it turned into a really good one point because on the third story was just like some like conversation boost it was quieter the music wasn't as loud up there but there was one big like play bed um but like past that it was just a whole bunch of like boosts where you could sit and like it was quiet it didn't have the music it was bright like it was you could actually talk and i remember being up there with another couple that was doing the same thing that we were doing like this is crazy like our poor little like virgin selves pretty much compared to that it was a little overwhelming one of the strippers came up and had us all spank her yeah that's what i said the strippers definitely made the night they definitely turned it into a into a party it was i'm so thankful they were there because it would have been a whole different time and no matter where we go it doesn't matter what club we go we've been to or event or house party that we have stumbled on that hasn't always been the greatest venue or place we've always turned it into the best time so that was that wasn't my concern it was just safety mostly it was my concern yeah i mean there were some shady characters a lot of stuff it's not in the best neighborhood i don't think um and i didn't know as much then that i do as i do now yeah and i was a way different human being than i am now and so yeah it was a it was a fun.
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And we're back hello so that was our kind of first taste of not even lifestyle but just more a little bit more spicy sex club steps yeah because we have always for 10 years that we've done bdsm it was a private in our bedroom thing we never took it outside our bedroom it was a very personal thing no one knew about it was a very secretive life we lived on and then we were 24 7 like it was a serious thing but we only did it at home and we never did it anywhere else and we never told anybody about it and so that was definitely way out of our comfort zone yeah and then but we kind of got a taste of something outside of it and we decided like we talked about it we enjoyed ourselves so we're like let's find i want to find something like that but not that we had just been thinking about starting munches and that's what we're going to kind of step into kind of being more like that and but i don't know we were still like so scared like so terrified i don't know we were very scared people say we wanted something we wanted similar to what we just experienced but that was and we weren't comfortable enough in that place to have sex or do that like we would never have had never would never like we like we've done things here and there like especially with me like me personally have done things a little bit more spicy but never with like other people that weren't included and stuff like that so it's like yeah that was a that was a different experience and then at the next on the ride home i think you're on google looking for something similar and then you came across trapeze atlanta yes it was like on yelp and there was like nothing no descriptions no nothing it was just like lifestyle yes and i didn't know what the heck lifestyle meant at that point and the only lifestyle i did know of was like bdsm so my brain was like maybe this is like a you know another sex club yeah another place like that we just been to but nicer because they're like nicer was a dress code yeah there was a dress code yeah and i was like oh there were rules and they served food yeah they had food they had a restaurant i was like worst case scenario we go get some food and leave yeah like that'll probably be what happens it was uh we it was byob so like okay we take our own alcohol we can drink whatever we want and they had all the mixers there already yeah we're like oh okay but still again thought about the same club that we had just been to like maybe something like that but we had had a fun time yeah had a good night it ended up being so much fun and it was hilarious like we laughed a lot and had a big time we met some cool people and it wasn't a horrible experience would i go back again probably not and unless i unless we had to go show like i would take our friends i would take a group yeah i would take a group just so everybody can experience it yeah i would bring them just to be like you've got to do this once in your life i also think that they're shutting it down or they've shut it down or something they've been trying i read after we went i was reading about it and they've been trying to shut that place down for years a long time so i i don't know i had heard a rumor that it was getting shut down but they've been trying to shut it down i don't know if they have or are going to but they've been trying for years so we were looking again still for something more and so we were like screw it and his well his parents were here for like a few weeks and that was the last weekend they were like last week here go again like one last time because we're not going to see you for like a year like go yeah we got the you know we got the kids so like go uh do whatever do whatever so like while we're here so we went back to atlanta and this time we went with intentions to go to trapeze i got dressed up no and so we got all dressed up and we went yeah and just as we showed up and the security opens your door i'm like okay this is it okay this is so much better already and the valet comes around gets my keys i don't know before that though i was nervous because the area that trapeze if you know trapeze atlanta the area that it's in is quite you know it's very not a good area yeah it's not a good area and it's not industrial warehouse house not areas so i of course was skeptical and trapeze from the outside looks so small and tiny and it looks like it doesn't look like it does at all in the inside you would never know unless you went into the place and so but yeah when they had ballet outside opening your doors and at that point no one not as many people went to trapeze no like you wouldn't see ever ever see people outside or you never could see the people until you got into the club so we went in there and they you know paid our membership we signed up on the computer and everything and still had no idea swingers or anything still yeah so if you've never been like it's a members only club so as you walk in they ask if you've been here before and if you say no there's about three computers on the along the wall and you actually have to fill out all the all your information and then uh go back to the counter and that's when you pay your membership and you pay your nightly fee so we did that and then they buzzed us in because the door to get into the actual club is locked so they have to buzz you in and so we went in there and it was night and day yeah between what we experienced the weekend before and you lock in there's like a bar on the right side the whole way around and then there's a buffet that's all you can see as soon as you walk in is the buffet of food and tables and then tables so it looks, a bar on the right side the whole way around.
And then there's a buffet. That's all you can see as soon as you walk in is a buffet of food. And tables. And then tables. So it looks like a restaurant and, like, a little bar. And then over to the left is a dance floor. Yeah, a big dance floor. Big dance floor, another bar, a whole bunch of seating, you know, people on the dance floor. And so it was, yeah, it was a whole different vibe. You would never have known.
Again, still not knowing it's a swingers club like nothing like that because it looked like a normal regular everyday nightclub with a buffet yeah which was was kind of cool and so we you know hung out and sat down and watched and just observed for a little while and then we eventually learned about the diamond club diamond club changed the whole experience we went to trapeze once or twice yeah and then danced i just went to dance i was so excited because i love dancing i love music like that's anything about me i'm a big dancer big music and so it was just a night at night club for us and then we found out it was a swinger club and there was a lifestyle well we found out fairly quickly i'm saying but then we found out about that and then we found out about diamond and diamond is a whole separate club completely different vibes in the front and it's a whole separate it's their vip section and it is a whole different section and the biggest difference or be a member yeah so you can upgrade they have so many upgrades a night and which is extra on top of everything else or you can be invited by another couple yeah or you buy a membership to it which when it's a yearly yeah and when we found out about it there was a whole wait list for it for months like six months to a year but like yeah we had to get on we waited three or four months for those members like they would stay on it for 20 30 years like it they were there for so for so long that and they'd always hold their membership and they had that certain amount of number that they could only sell and so upgrading wasn't like a thing as much back then either it was a lot well you had to ask for it well i know it was a lot of only members that would go back there that's it that's how diamond used to be it was like the members went back there and or unless you brought somebody back there that's pretty much all that was did diamond diamond wasn't till we were like it is now until we were told that oh just ask for an upgrade like so that's what we did yeah we went out we were outside or something talking to couples about something and they were telling us about swingers and about their lifestyle and about how it is and they're like oh no no no you need to experience this place with diamond so we were like next time we were definitely doing that we kept hearing it numerous times that you have to check out the diamond club And so we went back there and we've ended up finding some really good friends of ours they were like the first couple we ever really got to talk to and meet other than you know here and there little conversations and um yeah they as soon as we walked in everyone was so welcoming everyone's like you are a part of our club now that's just how if you know you know that's just how the lifestyle is granted when we were definitely younger than yes trapeze was a different place when we first started we went started going we were definitely on the younger side of the crew and we were the smallest we ever been and we were we were you know really feeling ourselves we had never you know never experienced all that attention either it was a lot of attention we got a lot of attention as soon as we walked in that place and they were so welcoming and they all were like come on come on let's go and we watched them and they would participate in like orgies and things like that and we still were never like we were mindful we were so we could never we that's crazy like they were gonna bite us and then we'd always make an excuse like yeah we'd be laughing and then we would you know find something like a reason to a reason to be late and then afterwards it was like oh like everything already started we didn't want to intrude interrupt we weren't aware that you could just be open and honest and talk openly and tell people like we didn't want to hurt any feelings we didn't know what we were doing and We didn't want to like yeah we didn't make anyone upset or anything but we were nowhere near ready at that point still to do anything especially publicly and so we uh now at this point we were having sex yeah us we would and we would go like i'm saying like orgies publicly and stuff yeah no we didn't do that we wouldn't do that but we we never swapped or anything with anybody at this point no we would go just have sex together and we would put on shows and it was turned into our that's why we loved going all the time because once we started going we would kept going back yeah going back and we call it like the cocaine effect we were we were addicted we were like this is exactly what we're looking for and we were closer than ever and we would on a ride home we would talk about everything and discuss everything we heard and saw and learned and this whole world exists that we had no idea and so we were very into we were very intrigued and we were very like into learning more about it and more about it and then we just went back exhibitionist side yeah our exhibitions and that's pretty much where our lifestyle journey started was we enjoyed putting on the show and we we loved having people watch us and people would watch us we would again we were a younger set of you know in the lifestyle at that time and club was a different vibe back then and so we would put on a big old show and it turned into our thing that's what we did every time we went trapeze and so we uh yeah we kept going kept going and then we had eventually parallel played next to another couple in the playroom yeah we were doing our thing and again if you've been trapeze in the back of the main part of diamond club there's a a big group playroom.
And there was another couple back there. And we were playing with ourselves. And then it kind of just organically kind of. Not playing with ourselves, by ourselves. Or by ourselves. I wasn't playing with myself. No, I was definitely playing with you. Okay, we were playing. I know, I'm just kidding. Ourselves. Yeah, we were parallel playing next to them. Yeah, and it kind of organically just kind of got intertwined. Yeah, you know how that goes. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too.
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Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple podcasts spotify amazon music and more track your listeners see where they're from and start earning from ads just like this if you've been thinking about starting a podcast this is your sign start your new podcast for free today at rss.com because it happened exactly how it was supposed to happen we didn't know it could have happened yeah because we didn't have time to overthink it or we had already discussed you know what would happen if that happened and we had already talked about like possibly doing that but we still were like we're not swingers like we were not swingers so we we you know that's not what we do we weren't on doing that.
And so we ended up swapping with them. Couldn't tell you their names or what they look like. Yeah, I couldn't pick them out of the crowd. Not my finest moment. But it had to happen that way because I am an anxious, nervous Nelly. And I would have been still probably not swapping at this point if it was up to me. So, yeah, it had to actually just be like that.
a good time we had fun and then our minds were completely blown i think we sat in silence for the rest of the night and just kind of like no like after that well then after that we were propositioned another with by another couple to play yeah and we're like that was enough like we were like i don't know what just happened like we were still like processing it was a lot i mean we hadn't had sex with anyone else for 10 years like we had been monogamous yeah you know forever and so it was like you know we felt wrong we went through that whole you know this feels wrong is this wrong i liked it too much i had too much fun i shouldn't doing this this is you know not right and so we had to process that and we eventually you know on the way home just when we were finally alone together really well you know worked through that for the next couple weeks two three weeks i mean because everything happens so quickly and there's so much going on that when you're talking about it unpacking everything you miss details and so he had a different you always have a different experience or perspective from your partner yeah so like we'll like talk about it and then like a couple days later you'll think of something but oh i wanted to you know did you notice this or did you know this or that you bring different stuff up like the next few weeks yeah and then like even we sat on the back porch after all the talking off the things and he said are we swingers and then the first like didn't even take one second i was like oh no oh no like still that word just did something to me it was that word that just like I mean both of us were like meh no we're not singers it was just a one-time fluke thing that we you know it was but the more we had thought about it and talked about and everything you know set boundaries and just kind of like what if this happens again or do you think we could ever approach a couple or maybe we could be in the last time we quickly you know obviously worked through all of it and then after that first one it's kind of just getting the monkey off your back yeah yeah like it's like that first time is a mindfuck yeah like you think you're doing something wrong like your natural instinct is you're doing something wrong i'm hurting my partner um i shouldn't be doing this and i was Thank you.
yeah like you think you're doing something wrong like your natural instinct is you're doing something wrong i'm hurting my partner um i shouldn't be doing this and i was you know like you have the feelings of jealousy a little bit you know obviously jealousy is a perfectly normal emotion especially when you shared your life with your partner for the last your best friend for the last 10 years and he just had sex with another woman you know just like that like you know and it's something i never thought would ever happen or i definitely wouldn't be there to see it for sure you know it was just it was a very it was a big it was a very long process of the jealousy feelings and kind of working on like why and i had you know took me quite a minute to really process jealousy jealousy was a hard one for me at the beginning yeah not even jealousy just like no i think jealousy is the right word because i wasn't gonna like natural for a wife like a partner not just wives but husband the same way to automatically what's the word I'm looking for automatically hmm automatically what's the word i'm looking for automatically assume no not assume join you know sex and intimacy like associate associate that's the word i'm looking for gotcha associate like love and feeling and so you automatically go to like when you're first going through this journey you automatically assume like they're having sex with each other and you get this whole because mental image of he doesn't love me enough yeah well it's this whole mental image is well they're going to run away together and they're the white picket they're going to be better than me yeah what if she's better than me what if he likes her more she's prettier than me skinny and there's always like comparison comparing yourself to the other person or the other people like it's natural yeah we had never openly even been like and on the men's side on the men's side like oh she's gonna leave me because he's like naturally he's bigger than me he's stronger than me he's more muscular you know and so i mean that's why i say like everyone's like oh i would be too jealous or i would how do you deal with not feeling jealous and like you you will have jealous feelings pop up it's a human normal especially in the beginning especially in the beginning like especially when you're still trying to navigate what you're even wanting or what's going on or anything in your marriage Thank you.
it's a human normal especially in the beginning especially in the beginning like especially when you're still trying to navigate what you're even wanting or what's going on or anything in your marriage i mean the more you're in this lifestyle the closer you're getting so like we've went and we've had a you know long journey to get here but because i know now we weren't a couple i can't remember last time i felt jealous yeah it's a very rare thing that pops up anymore but it took jealous of like of you i should say yeah i mean i felt fomo for missing things yeah but i'm not really jealous like that but yeah different kind but yeah but yeah we've we've definitely i mean we're different humans, way different couple than we were three years ago.
We've been through some things. We've had a lot of experiences that we never imagined. But yeah, at that point, we were not the same as we are now. And that's kind of how we began our journey with the lifestyle until we finally, you know, kept going back and kept meeting people and kept picking brains and kept learning. And when we went there, our, um, they were, you know, more than happy to answer any questions that we had, but yeah, that was kind of our, our little journey. Hey there listeners. Are you looking to prioritize your sexual health and wellness? We've got just a thing for you.
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It's time to take charge of your sexual health today with shameless care because your health is nothing to be ashamed of and we're back so that was the beginning of our journey in the lifestyle and a question we get all day every day every single day That was the beginning of our journey in the lifestyle. Yes. And a question we get. All day. Every day. Every single day. The number one question. How do I get in the lifestyle? How do I ask my wife or husband how to get in the lifestyle? Exactly. And I don't think it's the same answer for every person.
But it, in general, general the i think the best answer for that is talk to them communicate it sounds you sound like a broken record it sounds cliche that's our answer to pretty much every question is always talk to your wife talk to your husband tell them how you feel but to expand is, yes, it's a weird, awkward, sometimes hard conversation to have. But in this lifestyle, you have weird, awkward, hard conversations. We have our, that's why we always say, like, we always have our phrases. We have, like, our three or four phrases. And one of them is get comfortable being uncomfortable. Yes.
Because that sums everything up. It's going to be weird. It's's going to be uncomfortable you're going to be talking about stuff that you never expected to talk to your spouse about and as soon as it pops into your head as soon as you're having a feeling that's how i always say the best way to deal with jealousy and stuff is any feeling you're having good or bad don't be afraid to just say it out loud yeah don't hold it and that's all that's hard that's hard to like get yourself to do yeah and that's how i worked you know that's what a lot I'll see you next time.
good or bad don't be afraid to just say it out loud yeah don't hold it and that's that's hard that's hard to like get yourself to do yeah and that's how i worked you know that's what a lot of part of working on the jealousy in the beginning the early days was just saying hey i don't know why i'm feeling this way i don't know what i'm feeling but i'm feeling something and i don't like it it's not a good feeling or i like it it's a good feeling and kind of you kind of telling them how you're feeling. Let's explore more of this or like I need to take a break. Yeah, and I'm not sure why.
I'm not saying we won't ever do this again, but I need a break and sit on it and figure out where these feelings are coming from. And that's another reason why you start with boundaries and you start because it's all communication.
And those boundaries should be based off of those conversations that you've had with you know this is what I don't really like seeing or I don't really want to experience and you got it from there but yeah the initial conversation I like we said earlier like I honestly can't tell you how to approach your husband or wife and get them into the lifestyle or try and talk to them about it yeah so we're not the best to because we found it together we kind of we explored it together we never had to have that conversation now we've had weird awkward hard conversations through our journey yeah so we know those conversations are like just bring it up send them a tiktok send them a reel send them something and be like how just start that conversation in that way somehow just say how do you feel about this video or have you ever fantasized about having you know sex with anyone else or you know having a third in the bedroom and just kind of starting the conversation and go from there yeah starting share your fantasy or share what you would like to experience or share maybe i you know i wouldn't hate it or you know and just open that conversation and just kind of talk just talk just talk about it yeah it's uh it's not it's not for everybody either like you're never going to make your spouse be in the lifestyle we get that one all the time how do i make my wife yeah how do i talk my wife into this how do i talk my husband into this i hate that one you don't talk anybody into it you tell them you share with your partner your desires your fantasies and and if they're not into it and they don't want to do it you need to respect that yeah or or get out if that's something that you really are very if you feel like you have to have that have to have it then that's you have to ask where your relationship is yeah that's a that's a personal you journey if you don't feel like you can live the rest of your life being monogamous then that's something you're going to have to address and also that's something you have to share with your partner and yeah yeah and all yeah at the same time you're still going to have to have those weird awkward conversations and you're going to have to figure out how there's hot wiping there's other things you can do there's other you know types of dynamics and stuff that maybe you can even if your partner doesn't want to participate there are ways to navigate the lifestyle but you're always open with them yeah i always say like not only start the conversation but also educate yourselves together like both of you go and you know watch videos listen to podcasts do things you know together and even if you're not in the lifestyle or participate in lifestyle at least educate yourselves and kind of learn about the different dynamics and different ways that maybe you might be able to dip your toes in or clubs go check out a club i always say ready to say is if you and your partner are on the fence open like open to it but aren't sure about it yet then i'd say go do it at a club a club like hotel takeover an you know event i wouldn't do a hotel takeover but i would do a club i feel like hotel takeovers are so overwhelming and it's so much going on and there's so many people and people are i don't know i feel like because you have your own space i would do like secrets or something like that but i don't think i would do like a like a takeover takeover like a large one maybe a smaller sized one but i think a lot of the two the takeovers are kind of overwhelming even for me in the lifestyle i get really overwhelmed i think if that was my first experience in lifestyle sensory yeah yeah but that's also just who i am as a person too so it really depends on you know i'm sure it works for people but i would definitely a club is just especially like trapeze like you you can walk in and you would never know it's a sex like or a swingers club you would never know it's a swingers club you wouldn't even know it's a sex club you wouldn't even know anything you don't see anything unless you go looking for it honestly yeah and like after like midnight like you might see something going on here and there in the corners and stuff like that but for the most part it is a nightclub with dancing people eating food people just standing around going to the bar hanging out you it's you know if you want to just sit there and just watch and hang out and have a date night with your spouse that's what we did at the beginning was it was a date night for us we and then once we got a little bit more comfortable then we like you were saying like we started you know playing together and or started watching other people playing together and you can move more into the playroom areas and the places that you will find sex but it's you can also just go have dinner and then leave you can go i mean the way we found lifestyle i think is unique but i think our journey is is not not like once we once we discover how we discovered yeah how we discovered it is unique but our journey it's in itself is is pretty normal it's pretty normal journey through the lifestyle because say we found it how we found it's kind of odd but we found it and then we started exploring it together and i think that's really how every couple should do it is you're going at the pace of the slowest yes always comfort pace the comfortable person yes like yeah the person who's most apprehensive go at their yes at all times yeah that's what i was looking for yeah yeah yes go at their pace don't ever go faster than they're comfortable going or anyone period anyone around you don't push yeah don't ever feel pressure and if you're not comfortable again communication communication will always be the number one answer for every single question in lifestyle i'm still say all of the time communication it's not a race say it out loud say i am uncomfortable everybody that like i know i see so many new couples in lifestyle that think so ready to full swap but they have four g's just all my like they think they have to go and yeah like immediately and it's not the case it's not a race now if you're comfortable doing that that's fine go for it that's fine but a normal regular couple that's coming to us with apprehension and they're nervous and they're scared that's not something that i would recommend anyone doing like just go dip your toes in and see how you feel and go and then remove yourselves and process it together and see and learn more and be like you know ask questions definitely ask questions ask all the questions you can yes because there's not one couple or person in this lifestyle they'll be like so what do you think about this like or i'm feeling this way what you know what's your thoughts on it and there's not one person i know in this lifestyle is like i don't know like they're going to give you how they like everyone in this lifestyle is we'll say it a million times they are the nicest sweetest kindest biggest heart people that you'll ever meet in your whole life and everyone is more than happy to help you on your journey i've never met so so many open book people gosh, no.
You can ask literally any questions and they'll answer. Yeah, you know too much about, you end up knowing way too much about everyone because everyone's just telling you everything that they're ever thinking on their mind. We've just gotten so used to from doing it. It was just, if you're thinking it, you just say it and you're not getting judgment like you are out in the regular everyday world and stuff.
Like you do there,'t the people the people are so good so good so amazing but yeah go find people go ask them about what events or clubs they recommend or resorts or you know pick people's brains and it depends on where you live and your experience is going to be different based on where you live there's not as much going on in certain places like midwest and you know you're not going to have the same experience as you do we're just lucky that we live around everything and we're only you know a few hour drive from like florida and resorts and places that are always available and always open so our experience is going to be different you're going to probably have to travel you're going to have to find groups within there's a lot of little communities you have no idea about that aren't on tiktok and instagram that you won't even know about sdc and stuff like that there's a lot of if you know you know groups a lot of people are very discreet so go just go meet people go find and meet people i always say that like yeah just go talk to people you don't have to be in the lifestyle to go talk to people or go to things yeah no you don't no like there's no rule that you have to be a swinger to come into the door you have to prove that you're a swinger to get to the club we don't have a membership card we're not i know we do for the club we do have for the club we do we do have a membership that's only laws and rules and stuff that's we don't have a secret handshake no we don't we don't have a certain requirements or anything like the lifestyle cloak and dagger stuff you know everyone gets so obsessed with terms and rules and every these there is no handbook there is no bible there is no set you know rules that we're all like following we all have basic you're consenting as long as it works for you and your partner or your friends or whoever you're doing the lifestyle with that's all that matters it can be anything that you want it to be uh i think one of our friends who's a single male in the lifestyle i asked him and i was asking him uh how he navigates as a single male kind of picking his brain stuff like that and he said the best thing i think it applies to everyone in the lifestyle is he said we learned everything in kindergarten i'm like what he's like all you have to do is be a nice person use your manners I'm like, what?
He's like, all you have to do is be a nice person. Use your manners. Be kind. Be respectful. You're absolutely right. Just be a good human and you will be just fine. And you are going to find your people.
It might be a little harder to find them, again, based on where you live or where you're hanging out or what clubs or places you're going or, you know you could travel or not but you will find your people people get so discouraged so early that they haven't found their people they see us running around with our humans our people we're always have our groups that we see all the time and stuff and they're like i just want that but i cannot find it i'm like keep looking keep talking to people go find people i guarantee you your humans are out there i promise you you guys will find them eventually if you keep on looking and keep on trying because there is someone for everyone in this lifestyle no matter what you're into you will find other people into it or someone that might be interested in learning more about it like you your opportunities and your humans are out there and your fantasies you've ever dreamed I promise are in the lifestyle well and to be fair like even like our friend group here at home which is some lifestyle some vanilla when we found this group of humans we knew that the couple that brought us into this group friend group were in the lifestyle and we were in the lifestyle that's all we didn't know anyone else we had never it's just as we got to know these people we learned like oh shit you're all super awesome people and we're like this is like the best crew of like i got your back call me at 3 at 3am, no questions asked, I got you type people, like people that are just so kind and so sweet.
And as we started figuring out who was in the lifestyle, who wasn't, it was like, okay, okay.
And even the ones that they surrounded themselves that weren't in the lifestyle, we have a uncanny ability to just pick out good other human beings and open minded, just people that just want to live their best life and that is what the lifestyle is all about is just people that just want to be happy people just want to see other people happy mostly like more than themselves for sure it's not even just about them being happy they want to see everyone else having a great time so we didn't even go looking for a lifestyle group we just found a good friend group yeah and it just so happens that the best friend group was a lifestyle group yeah we attracted it and i love whatever we did i'm so excited we did it and throughout even like our online journey every for every little avenue we've taken we have picked up some the best people, and they would be more than happy.
I know every single one of them would be more than happy to help anyone else in this town. But also, other than going to that and stuff, but apps. Online is where most everyone meets each other. Yeah.
And online like that you're new to if you're new to an area and you don't know anyone your best avenue is online online and it depends on what area of the country there are like stc sls case you know cassidy and in different areas of the country different ones are used different other countries same they're national they're national websites and apps but they are regional in the number of people that use them so like in our area sdc is big like southeast u.s sdc is probably the biggest one. Refund is big down here, but most people hate that app.
But there's a lot of people that have bad experiences with it. We haven't had any bad experiences. And our closest friends we've found on that app, so we love it. Being at the Lifestyle app, everybody's so trustworthy that they don't...
So I'm very skeptical on all the apps because i just know what it's like they're online so like if somebody contacts us on three fun or sdc or sls i am put to keep myself at an arm's distance until i know that's actually a couple like a real life couple on the other side and then that's everybody I just and then once I know that they're real people then we usually go to a you know another like a snapchat kick used to be we don't really use back in the day we did kick was yeah back in the day it's a horrible app even our circumstances friends all of them we all used like kick was the place that we texted each other because you were allowed so many people in a group yeah it was like yeah the snapchat vibes but yeah we uh we always uh say it really depends on what area that you live in but yeah definitely give them all a try but i mean all these apps people want to try them we do have links yeah that you'll be able to see in the show notes down below we have a lot of free trials and that's why i say if you even if you try them out like go try them out for a three fun it's free period they do have a premium like upgrade but to use it it's free yeah i always say like let's do the free trial for a couple weeks see if you can see because you'll see people in your area and like who i i like three fun because it's you can sort it by distance yeah you can find people directly within you know 30 miles of your direct location yeah and i like that it's more modernized and more of an app yeah it works a lot like tinder yeah it works a lot like tinder right where you can you know heart it or pass on it and then you only can communicate with the person if you guys match yeah and but that's also we just hold it dear to our heart because our closest friends we local friends we've made there and that's where we got our really local close friends proximity wise and life-wise there and so we always say don't count three fun out and we've never had a bad experience on three fun other people have but everyone has a different experience and yeah like people have had bad experiences on scc sls all of them yeah so it really just depends and make sure that you're just betting yeah that will make sure that you just proceed with common sense yeah meet in public make sure you know talk for a little while get on snapchat make sure they send you pictures of themselves and they're actually pictures of yourself that's why snapchat is nice because you can see if it's actually that person or not yeah you know if they're actually in you know time snapping you or not sending you just someone else's picture that's where things get a little bit move it off of those apps for sure i definitely think that you need to yeah once you a little more connect and you talk for a minute you know and realize you like use common validate and everything we were all born and raised in the era of the internet so just use common sense yeah and be you know be cautious be cautious it's your spouse and you and protect yourselves make sure you're being safe but yeah that's kind of our our big tips that's those are the main the main ones but just go out and meet people just go find people find their their friends they're gonna introduce you to i guarantee you to 50 more of their friends so if you find a couple that you got you really connect with and they find out that oh this you guys are good and solid and awesome they're going to introduce you to their friends and a lot of us are matchmakers that's what we do that's what we love we love to thrive in the life side you want to you want to gather them as many good humans as you possibly can and so i mean i bring you that's how we've met a lot of groups is we'll meet a couple be like hey we're going to we're going to this party at this place you should come with us yeah and be like okay we're we're free those are your people and you know they're good people then they're going to surround themselves with also people you know equal to them like that and so we and we like we enjoy like connecting different couples that we think would connect really well and stuff we love introducing them to new and plus new like places and new parties and like we always recommend like naughty to everyone and you know we always tell them where we think is the best clubs and the best places to go and the best areas and so yeah definitely just communicate with each other and talk talk to people find people looking for a fun and welcoming community to connect with others who share your lifestyle join the swinger society discord it's the perfect place to meet new friends share experiences get tips and have a great time with like-minded people whether you're new to the lifestyle or a seasoned pro there's a spot for you come hang out with us in the swinger study discord you won't want to miss the conversation and connection waiting for you there our link is below click to join all right hello friends so before we sign off let's talk about it goes so fast i know episodes go so quick i have so much to say so much more to say but unfortunately it goes very very fast yeah this uh but there'll be more episodes for that it's friday we're recording this and it is a long weekend we are going to have the kids on for the next four days so that's going to be well it's monday for him he's starting that and then i have girls coming next weekend i'm getting my girls together some of my closest girls and i am going to we're going to be making stickers we're bringing all of our craft our craft machines crafting our craft machines we got secrets coming up october 3rd through 6th so stickers and the button machine i'm out of all of my stickers and if you know anything about secrets um we do room crawls and we're hosting again which we do every single time and when you do a room crawl you have swag bags and in the swag bags you have to do stickers stickers is like a part of the lifestyle that no one talks about because everybody puts them on their cups everywhere put stickers everywhere everyone puts stickers everywhere so i have one of my friends my closest friends um and then i plan on doing a podcast episode with the girls i'm super excited about we're going to do a whole episode on just being a woman in the lifestyle just girl talk just a girl talk about how they feel about being a woman in my style and kind of perspective of being a wife and how that's like so that'll be next week's episode yeah and then we're going to what we have pad coming up the weekend after that we are i'm doing pineapples after dark that's i'm doing that one solo and yeah my friend ash is coming to that one with me so i've got a girl date this time so i'm excited to have a girls weekend two weekends in a row that's gonna be a good time so i'm excited and yeah if you would like to come i know there's still some tickets left it is their glow party their dj life of spice is going to be djing everyone loves dj life of spice and we are super excited to see them and then um secrets is october 3rd through 6th and they still have rooms available yes and they pass a couple last i looked there was like three left so definitely make sure that if you want to come and i highly recommend coming to go check those out because they're selling out fast and it's a good party it's an amazing group of people and we do room crawls and raffle baskets and party nights and again dj life spice will be there too and yeah there's crazy day parties and backstage passes the theme so it's rock and roll or rock star the first night and then swing cello which i'm having a hard time with uh yeah what does one wear to coach like i've been looking at easy but yeah i've been looking at coachella like outfits because i need to order the stuff so i get it in time i have a few people that aren't in lifestyle that's that are listening and if they don't know themes are huge in the swinger lifestyle themes are everything in the lifestyle we love a good theme we do but sometimes i just want to be like aware whatever party would be kind of cool i i hate having to stress about these thing costumes sometimes but it's always a good time it always ends up being fun it's fun to watch everybody else get into the theme swingers are very into themes bigger the better brighter the better they they do love their themes but swing chill is really catching me catching me but it is summer it is secrets and no one really cares that much at secrets you can literally wear a bathing suit or nothing and no one no one would care no no one would care it's not that it's actually just a me thing yeah if you want to come to that we'll be there October 3rd through 6th and so far that's the only thing those are the only two things on our books we are closing out the year swinger season is coming to an end yeah fall's coming it's almost over but yeah so if you want to visit Us at any of those Events The links are in it's almost over yeah so if you want to visit us at any of those events come hang out with us the links are in the show notes below and come hang out it's a good time so I think that's about to wrap it up that's it already so don't make it weird it's not that serious bye guys It's not that serious.
