In this episode of Hot Couple Chronicles, Ashley and Russ dive into the essentials of joining the swinger lifestyle. Whether you’re curious about exploring new connections or actively considering swinging, they’re here to guide you through the journey.They’ll break down the basics, clear up common myths, and share practical tips for open communication with your partner—from deciding if swinging is right for you to preparing for your first event.Tune in for real insights and advice to help you step into the lifestyle with confidence. And remember, it’s not that serious—don’t make it weird!Special thanks and music credit to our friend @nominalfilter on Soundcloud!Upcoming EventsSwinger Society Secrets Takeover- Sold out! Click here for info on Available Rooms!Nov. 15- Trapeze Atlanta with PADDec. 31st NYE With PAD in Buckhead!Follow Us- Instagram: @hotcouplechronicles- TikTok: @hotcouplechronicles- YouTube: Watch our video episodesMore Socials- Facebook: @ThatHotCoupleInGA- Instagram: @HotCoupleInGA- TikTok: thathotcouple_inga- Backup TikTok: thathotcoupleinga4.0- X (Twitter): ThatCoupleInGAFind Your Community- SDC: Code 36775 for 2 free weeks!- 3Fun: Connect with local swingers!- Swinger Society Discord: Join 40,000+ swingers!Health Resources- Shameless Care: $30 off ED meds or STI testing!- Hello Wisp: Use code INGA15 for 15% off sexual health treatments!Premium Sites- Ashley’s VIP OnlyFans (all content included)- Ashley’s PPV OnlyFans- Ashley’s Fansly
Transcript
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If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at rss.com. Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle. Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences. While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships.
Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on this adventure. I'm Russ. And I'm Ashley.
And this is hot couple chronicles happy wednesday welcome back to us again us again it's been a week a whole week it's been a whole week but a whole weekend and we had pretty much a copy paste of last weekend we just had different people this time we had the organ couple this weekend yeah we had some close friends of ours go and they all live a little too far they live three four five plus hours so we just had them here all weekend and it was a good time we did a whole lot of nothing it was pretty good yeah it's pretty good we went to the museum And we relaxed a lot And then Ate a lot Ate a lot I cooked a lot Yeah we had It was pretty good.
It was pretty good. We went to the museum. I like it. Yeah, we relaxed a lot. And then... Ate a lot. Ate a lot. We ate a lot. I cooked a lot. Yeah, we had a lot of fires. Hung out on the back porch. We did go out for dinner once. A lot, yeah. Yeah, Friday we went out to dinner. We went to a new restaurant that we haven't been to. It just opened.
And then we had a couple drinks, came right home, and ate some more food, and sat by the fire, and watched TV, and watched some football sunday and ate again on sunday they did i had an accident yeah yeah he was making he was slicing vegetables for a tray yeah making set i had a little mishap mishap with the mandolin no joke everybody be careful if you got a mandolin hold up with his finger off we thought he was just i thought he just cut himself with a knife because he does that every time he cooks pretty much all right easy now it happens pretty much every time he cooks so that's pretty normal and that happens i didn't realize how much he took off till he brought it to the back porch to show yeah it's a big old chunk chunk of finger.
It just kept bleeding. It was horrible. It's an open wound. Anyways. Yeah, that's why his finger's all clubbed up, wrapped up. This is a smaller bandage than what it was. It was pretty big. I didn't have it pretty big. The bleeding's finally under control. Yeah, we went to the museum and just relaxed. It was a good friend weekend. Good time weekend. And now we're here again. It's starting to get busy. It's holiday season. It's coming. I can feel it in my bones. So time is flying now all of a sudden. So fast. Time is going so quickly. But today we are here.
We're going to talk about, we're going to bring it all the way back.
We're going to rewind to the very beginning because I feel like we need to cover a lot of topics that we skip forward and skip through and this one's going to be all about joining the lifestyle and becoming a swinger how does that even go about this one's for the newbies the new people that are interested in joining the lifestyle and just throw around that conversation and how to even get started how to we literally get asked this question every single day 15 times a day that's why i keep telling you we need to do an episode about this because we need to just talk about all the things and then be able to refer people back to it later so this will be the episode that everyone comes back to how to join the lifestyle and we're going to talk more about that and yeah last week we talked about body positivity and kind of our pretty much our journey it ended up being it goes so fast time goes so quickly that it ended up really just being our story and i plan on doing more about that and touching more about body positivity and confidence resonates with a lot of people though like even just if we talk about our story people usually can like at least someone can relate to it and that's all that matters if someone one person that helps one person i tell myself every day i'm good i keep going that's why i'm still here yeah we're gonna start out talking about that but first the simple question of what is the lifestyle what is a swinger what is what is a swinger what is that in my opinion in my own words yeah in your words it is a alternative relationship model where you can centrally having physical yeah physical or sexual interactions with other consenting adults yep pretty much pretty much and lifestyle pretty much is an umbrella term that we all use because mostly because people hate the word swinger yeah it's an egg word for a lot of people yeah and it encompasses the life style the life of a swinger and everything that includes being a swinger and it's i honestly for most people we no, it really is a better word ls lifestyle enm cnm they're all they all mean pretty much the same thing they're all just different terms that we use to define swinger because swinger is nick word and then what the lifestyle is not a reason just to cheat on people that is definitely accused because after you know the lifestyle that is not what it is it is it has nothing nothing to do with cheating.
It's all consensual, all communicated, and all agreed upon prior to anything ever. And most people we've talked to, it's months prior. Like, they talk about it for years. There's people, yeah, for a long time.
Before they even dip their toes into it, they talk about it and fantasize about it oh yeah years there's people yeah yeah for a long time before they even dip their toes into it they talk about it fantasize about it and then eventually just take the plunge and just see what go to a club go to an event another misconception is it's not a reason just to have sex with everyone that's not it's not how it goes it's not what it is it's not how it is it's not just a free-for-all, whatever, all the time, anything. It's not an excuse to just have sex. That is a big one.
Because we've talked to a lot of people that are afraid to go to a club. Yeah, they assume that you have to have sex when you walk in the door. Or a party. Yeah. They assume that you have to...
Completely just strip down naked and have sex immediately as soon as you walk in you don't be as involved or not involved as you like what you're comfortable with and a club is just a regular club with playrooms other than that it's a hundred percent just like that you see porn on the tv not that's scary everybody is always so terrified to go to a club and then different benefits of being in the lifestyle what would you say for some of the benefit the our communication being able to explore yeah with your partner yeah the phil fantasies yeah fuck it list and just travel too and just spend time together is a good one a big one and then so it just yeah there's not many most people you get married you a lot of people not you know most people but a lot of people just give up on all of those fantasies a lot of people have a lot of yeah things's like that they fantasize about it's not abnormal to have fantasies about sex also really toxic relationship dynamics stem from that though like resentment a lot of men and women resort to porn to try and fulfill those fantasies infidelity yeah we see it that a lot they can't communicate they can't talk about what they fantasize and what they really want in the bedroom or behind closed doors with their partner so they look for another outlet to fulfill that and then it just it's a downward spiral it's a way to actually safely and consensually fulfill these things that you think about you dream about and you want especially a lot of people are bisexual and have kind of you know or different sexuality than heterosexual and they want to test it out and try it out and see how they like it or try different things or explore that more when they weren't able to and a lot of times when you get married that's another thing that you just gotta accept that you will probably never get to experience in my case like a being with a woman or a man for you and again then it leads to a lot of stuff like you were saying resentment and stifled feelings and cheating affairs not be able to express yourself to a lot of stuff like you were saying resentment and stifled feelings and cheating affairs not be able to express yourself period stems resentment yeah and then also the lifestyle is about community and finding meeting people that are just pretty awesome people that we love and the community is most of what we do most of the time like you don't it's just a in general that we love and the community is most of what we do most of the time like you don't it's just in general it's just an amazing group of people being their genuine true self they don't have to put up this facade of what they're supposed to do.
You are a newbie you will definitely you'll see you'll be like oh I'll get it everyone in Lifestyle knows that it is a fact that the best Thank you.
why don't you go to an event what they're supposed to do you are a newbie you will definitely you'll see you'll see you'll be like oh i'll get it everyone in the lifestyle knows that it is a fact that the best human beings in this world are in the lifestyle for sure period and luckily when we go to these events and clubs and stuff like that we get to have them all in one room and all in one space and it's pretty fucking amazing that's one of my favorite things it's the best humans and the community that we have and the people that you have your back and love you and are there and that is for me like my number one favorite thing about being in the lifestyle at all and the people that has brought us and it's definitely taken to my life oh yeah yeah and.
Yeah, and enhanced. We definitely found, like, some ride or dies. Like, the people you can call at 3 a.m. for any reason whatsoever, and they answer. Most of them because they don't sleep. And they're up all night, like me. That's most of the reason. And then how do you decide if if the lifestyle is right for you and if that's something that you stumble upon and think maybe that is something that you and your spouse could be interested in first step within yourself why why you know yeah what do you want to get out of these experiences what do you you want to explore more? Right.
What are your bucket, bucket lists? Like, what are... Some fantasies. Some fantasies and things that you want to do. Definitely sit back and think about what is it that intrigues you about yourself. Because I think that's where it really starts with a lot of people, is it's a fantasy. And then once you've done your self-reflecting and sat on it with your own self on the reasons why you're intrigued by this, the reasons why you want to approach your partner with this, the reasons why you might be interested, this might be something that you and your spouse might enjoy.
Some of the reasons, figure out your motivations. What are your motivations? What are your, what do you want more intimacy with your partner? Is it something like that? Is it something to do with your own relationship? Is it more of exploring a variety of different people? Yeah, is it just a curiosity about your sexuality? Yeah, a sexuality thing? Or is it you're looking for a community of people, you just want to hang out naked and have like-minded people surrounding you and just have friends?
Or do you just want to have sex with as many people as you possibly can and lunch is perfectly okay or do you just want to have sex with your partner and just have people around yeah do you that's what i'm saying like do you want to make it more of an intimacy thing between you and your spouse is it more of you want to yeah watch other people having sex with your spouse or do you want to have sex have people watching you have sex do you just want to be in a club environment with your spouse figure out what are your motivations on top of why what is it that intrigues you about this yeah why make sure that you've sat down on it for a second and think about why you why is turning you on or why you're yeah i think it's the self-reflection of what you want to get out of it and then talking to your partner about it that comes next Thank you.
why are you starting you on or why you're yeah i think it's the self-reflection of what you want to get out of it and then talking to your partner about it that comes next you know but before you do that i think you just sit on it for a second yeah work through it and everything and then yeah and then the next step is talking to your partner about it yeah next step you've got to pull plug you've got to do it yeah like you can't keep You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too.
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Start your new podcast for free today at rss.com looking to add some excitement to your social life meet three fun their free app that connects open-minded singles and couples for fun adventures with thousands of active users three fun is our ticket to new friendships flirty encounters and unforgettable experiences the best part it's completely free to use no hidden fees or subscription ready to join the fun download three fun app now from the app store or google play store and start connecting with like-minded individuals in your area don't miss out on the excitement find the link below and get started with three fun today and then the next big step is going to your partner and talking to your partner about it i've heard a couple things like pillow talk after sex like talking about different fantasies and stuff like that and how you would go about fulfilling those fantasies and yeah just as simple as what have you what do you think about or i think it'd be hot to have sex next to other people having sex or what not even that just have you ever seen anything about yes or have you ever seen that there are couples that have sex with other couples have you ever heard of swingers have you ever heard of the lifestyle have you ever heard of upside down pineapples what do you think about it and then like now social media just go send her or him a tiktok or instagram reel or something and just go out there yeah or a podcast or episode highlight like a highlight reel or something and just be like so what do you think about that i think it would be hot like just bring up that conversation yeah send you know send them some hints sometimes they need a few little breadcrumbs just yeah i don't know this is interesting the biggest the biggest concern i hear people is they're afraid they're going their partner's going to feel inadequate and that's yeah not that's never the case when people that are serious about getting in the lifestyle they want to add some we know that but when you're basically blindsided by it it's a knee-jerk reaction to just automatically i'm not something's wrong it's because i'm not that's the biggest fear i have gathered from a lot of people that haven't brought this up i'm not gonna lie i'm really glad that we found it together because i really don't know if i would have ever even i don't know it's never it never was in my fantasy list it was never even yeah it was never even i didn't even know it existed like i never thought about swinging no never not even i'm it's weird but not even really even a threesome it was like when we got married we were just married and our sex was us like it was very much just like that yeah i never really thought about threesomes no and i've had threesomes i've had swaps and stuff for since i was 17 years old and i never once even with you it was like oh yeah this is something that we should do ever yeah which i don't know maybe down the road it would have maybe maybe come up with it's hard to like i always watch you like kiss girls yeah i've always done i've always flirted with girls kiss girls everything but it was never really i never even considered no it was like oh my gosh he's just kissing a girl like it's he's having fun it was just very much like when the opportunity arises he was always down for watching me kiss girls and oh yeah be sexy and flirty and playful and stuff but never once was like oh let's go find another couple and swap partners or any It's hard to say what would have came up or what would not have come up.
Everyone's was like, oh, let's go find another couple and swap partners or anything. It's hard to say what would have came up or what would not have come up. I do know for a fact I watch far less pornography nowadays than I did before we found my lifestyle. So it tells me I am more satisfied now.
and that's saying maybe down the road i would have brought something up like that's what i'm saying like i did with bdsm yeah you would have stumbled upon it maybe but again it's hard to say and again i don't not sure how i was going how would i would approach you with it i'm gonna that's why i'm giving out the tips for things I would think that I would do. We've heard so many different stories. Try to say how I would want to be approached by it. Again, it's a weird, awkward conversation at first. But you have to be able to have those weird, awkward conversations in the lifestyle anyways.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. That's just the first of many if you go down this road. Yeah, get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Because you're going to have to get used to processing your emotions and then verbalizing those emotions in an unhurtful way to your partner and then being able to receive those and then after you've approached your partner and if that partner is completely turned off and upset and not okay with it you have to respect that you have to be okay with that you have to let them sit on that you can't expect somebody like when you come to me out of the blue that you've never even mentioned this stuff about yeah be like okay let's do it yeah and then there are people like that yeah there are a lot of us out there that was but it takes some processing and that some people are not dad they're not going to ever be not it's okay sometimes you're like your spouse is just going to be a monogamous person and they want to be like that forever and there's nothing wrong with that that's one thing hey everybody thinks i'm trying to convince people to swing on social media all the time and doing this and that's not the case whatsoever i'm reaching the people that want to be reached and then i should be curious about it and then are interested and they're looking for this but i am definitely not trying to sell the lifestyle to anyone some people are never going to be non-monogamous they are 100 being monogamous and okay with that and that's fine and no judgment if your partner says no that's a hard no it's never going to happen you have to respect that and that's what we run into every single day is the wife or the husband saying yeah i see my see.
My spouse won't ever do it. I see it in our DMs all the time. Yeah, every day. From both the wife and the husband. How do I make her do it? How do I make him? How do I talk my... Yeah, talk them into it. Talk them into it. They said no. You don't talk them into it. And how do I get them to change their mind? And you can't. You can't. You cannot.
You can keep talking talking about it open up the conversation you can get down about it get get uncomfortable and make it a real conversation but in the end if that person says no this is not anything i'm ever going to be interested in and it's never going to happen you have to sit on it for you if it is that serious and you can without a doubt not be a monogamous person then you have to that's a lot of work that you have to do self-work and decisions you have to make and stuff you have to sit on because that's also a thing where people just are not monogamous they just can't be monogamous and that's also okay and that's fine but maybe i'm very big on be happy spend your life being happy right and don't don't be unhappy but regardless you're going to have those hard conversations that's what i mean yeah yeah like even if if it's that if you're that serious about it and you feel like you know if we can't do this i can't be in this relationship one you can't use it as an ultimatum no like it's not the foundation of trust and then keep having conversation keep talking just keep talking so it's is that actually your forever relationship yeah and sometimes sometimes it's not make that decision too but and that's fine no it was good that you found that but you have to be happy live your best life but your best life yeah you you got to work on that though and then if that conversation stays open you know there's going to be concerns there's going to be fears there's going to be worries there's going to be it's going to be again going to be uncomfortable conversations full of that stuff and there are a lot of fears most of the fears like we were saying was it's super natural to be jealous and have jealous feelings and to feel like not enough and to feel inadequate and question why as a man it's oh she just i'm not i don't satisfy her like your ego like as a man your ego automatically comes forward is i don't satisfy i'm not good enough i don't i'm not big enough i don't last long enough like it's a lack of something when that's not the case and you're adding to something already incredible it has nothing to do with needing to fix anything ever this is never a way to fix a relationship it's never a way to solve problems it's never a way to start a conversation you need to do that stuff way before you even anticipate even think about getting into style because that's what i also tell everyone as well go slow and take your time and just for words of affirmation for those feelings is the cheat codes to your partner no one's going to do it better than you yeah it's super normal to feel like that it's okay it is you have to be okay and that's like it like i said was it's like a foundation of your trust at the beginning of your lifestyle journey it starts here you have to be open and willing to have those conversations and to not get defensive and not get yeah you have to be open and not just non-judgmental period like you have to be able to be on both sides of that conversation and then to help navigate the fears and the concerns usually what we do is we have rules boundaries stuff that we put into place right lay down the foundation of what this is going to look like and how that's going to look what you're okay with what you're not okay with what your limits are yeah're always changing.
Yeah, they're never set in stone. We've met many couples in lots of different stages of their journey, and we've met people from no kissing. Another really common one is communication, like group texts and messages.
no like solo communication we had the pretty common like same room protection communication together yeah they're pretty common ones and now at this point we pretty much are down to like protection and communication yeah just communication that's pretty much it consent communication those are like our big things that about where we are now at this point yeah but it's really what you can change that yeah you can change them that's three years in and lots of experience as you become more comfortable as and more secure as a couple those you're always evolving so you should always sit down and go over those so your boundaries are always yeah adjust them figure them out that's it's a way for also for your spouse to feel a little bit more because you can make those boundaries and you can make those limits like it's anything that you want them any rule any there's no that's the one thing that i wanted to really drive home on this episode is there is no rule book there is no bible that would go by there's no has to be this has to be not the only thing that it has to be is consensual and that's pretty much and safe that's the only those are the only a lot of people it can be whatever you want it to people i think that's the really you could only kiss people you can only not kiss people you can only yeah can only kiss people's feet if you only want to kiss people's feet.
You can make it whatever you want it to be. I think a lot more we get that question is about, oh, how do I get a lifestyle? They're looking for an ABC step. Yeah, that tells me. They're out there. Many people are making them. It's bullshit.
But step back and it can be whatever turns you on whatever doesn't turn you whatever you want it to be you and as long as it's consensual and it works between you and whoever is participating that's all that matters it doesn't matter how odd it looks how different it looks there's no one way fits all one size fits all anything like that it can be whatever you dream it to be absolutely that's that's the most important thing we always try to tell people hey beautiful if you're looking to feel confident and sexy voluptuous fixin has got you covered with stunning lingerie and outfits that fit every curve and for our listeners you can snag 10 off your order with code hot couple nga at checkout don't out.
Check out the link below and find your next favorite piece. We're gonna do a little hypothetical just to help us out. I came to you, said that I was interested in navigating. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month.
If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With rss.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at RSS.com.
Getting the lifestyle, i found it on tiktok i thought it was interesting and i thought it was pretty hot we i talked about it when with you told me your concerns and we worked we're working on it we set boundaries and we're now ready to like Dip our toe in. do we go next online get on the internet together and start learning start researching get all the information you possibly can learn about the lifestyle first together and educate yourselves together on the ways to go about it and different things to... Different ways to navigate.
Just educate yourself, because you're going to be a lot more confident during your lifestyle if you're educated and if you know what to do. And to do that, there's so many online communities out there. There's STC, SLS, Cassidy.
All of them have educational content in within them and then there's social media there's lots of influencers and people out there that teach you and give you information and share a few terms and get familiar with words and terms and things you might hear and just because you will be more confident the more you know about a topic the more more you can walk in feeling like you know what's going down, the better. Because that is definitely going to make you feel better about the whole thing. And then go online and make profiles. Start making profiles on all the accounts, like all of the sites.
Detailed profiles. Yes, make sure to spend some time on your profiles. Put some effort, some time into it. Because trust me, it'll pay off if you do. And take good, clean, bright pictures. And you don't have to show your face. You could show whatever you want. But just make sure that they're bright. There's some light. Make sure they're attractive. You don't have to show your face. But if you don't want to show your face, you have to show something. At least. At least. Light. Like, something. Put some light. I don't know. We get, say, like, on SDC, SLS, FreeFun.
You want your profile to look attractive. We get a lot of messages, and I, honestly, I ignore a lot of them because you can't see anything and I give their profile and it's super vague. Oh, here for a good time. Yeah, and we know absolutely nothing about you. You give us nothing. I love when people put effort and time into their profile and describe who they are as people. Approach it like you're dating again. Yeah, essentially that's what it is. It's a dating profile and put some effort and put some time and unfortunately you're going to have to put some money into it.
There's a way to do the lifestyle without all of that and all the extra stuff. But it sure makes life a heck of a lot easier if you have a connection to all those people that are in the lifestyle. And then you'll find on there, you'll find events. And it'll open up the doors for all of the clubs. and like when through SDC, just for example, you can see if they're a paid member, a lifetime member, a free trial member. You can see that. You take the people that have paid memberships and lifetime memberships more serious than you do somebody that's on a trial.
Yeah, someone it someone just being nosy someone just looking yeah somebody because you don't know those people's motives yeah it doesn't yeah because i hate to say it but it happens is people make fake profiles like everywhere else. And a lot of, and most people that make a fake profile aren't going to spend money. Yeah. Yeah. On that fake profile. Yeah. And usually a lot of them, when you pay, you do have to verify and you do have to have some kind of check to make sure that is who you are.
Like I know when we, I made our three fun app or three fun profile years and years ago, we put our pictures up and then we had to take Thank you. Like, I know when I made our 3Fun app, our 3Fun profile years and years ago, we put our pictures up, and then we had to take pictures together with doing certain things just to verify that we're, you know. Hold a sign up saying your name, your birthday, you know, all the things. Yeah. And you have to. It comes along with a lot of verification.
Yeah, and in the picture like disco and stuff like that like you get verified rooms you get special things that you can be a part of it's nice to be verified on all of these websites there is so many websites so many and then facebook there's groups of people if you're looking for local facebook is a good place to look for locally um that's how we found bad and groups like that there's a few of them that we've been a part of and watch different things and stuff and then fortunately though a lot of times you have to get a connection with somebody already in those groups so you have to have an sdc or sls to meet somebody in the lifestyle and connect with those people and then they they can invite you.
Because you can't search up a lot of these Facebook groups. They're private. You just can't put them in a search engine and pop up. It's a very discreet lifestyle, so you have to find the people. That's why we say go on to SDC, SLS, Cassidy, one of them, and they've been here for decades upon decades. And then on those websites, the best part about being a part of SDC and SLS and them is that that's where most big events post all their events. And all of the clubs that you could find are all in the directory there.
And you'll find, you can go by state and find exactly where your local meet and greets are, where clubs are your local events are and that's the main reason search zip code and then everything around yeah and then the private more private things and the meeting mingles and the greets and stuff that you can find that and you can there's lots of groups that have profiles on there and yeah like little local groups have their own like groups and you can see who's going to that event or who's rsvp to this or that and it's a good place to go on there and start connections with people that you're like hey this person's coming to this event that i'm going to you know starting that connection and going into it with not just being alone too you can find somebody that you're familiar with and that you know ahead of time or that has been and you can ask questions and stuff the more you're educated the more confident you will be i promise if you know what you're going into and know where you're going and then when you get on sec and sls and those sites and you get to looking deciding on what kind of event that you want to try first whether it be a meet-and-greet or what's the difference between all of these things.
I guess we should start there. Oh, the difference between? Each thing. So when we say an event, we'll do that usually. Okay, so we're going to take over. A club, like it's just like it sounds. It's a nightclub. Usually memberships.
You have to get a membership yeah and it's like an exclusive private little club right but all in all it's a normal nightclub with usually with play rooms in the back and rules posted and dance floors and usually a dj usually a great time at the nightclub with sometimes the option sometimes not the option to yeah and then you have a house party which are usually invite only yeah yeah it's at somebody's house yeah that's why it's a lot more yeah somebody's house it's usually a private invitation thing like a friend group that's known each everybody and like you're a lot of house parties you'll find all the house parties on facebook facebook is like the the place that you find house parties you get into the groups and in your local groups i guarantee there's a ton of these little tiny groups that they like to get together those houses and have their own little version of hotel takeovers and these little parties and you'll find like where the people like they'll have quote-unquote like mansion takeovers stuff like that where it's a lot like a house party yeah but they have an airbnb somebody that has a rental house that's smaller let's them use it but it's usually a smaller group usually i'd say a normal house party is what 25 to 30 40 people yeah yeah i'd say 10.
i definitely recommend if you're going to a house party to know at least somebody before you go we went to a house party the only house party we've ever been to and that was yeah you didn't know one single person there it was intimidating it was someone's house and that felt so different that felt different i didn't. Walking in the front door right into the kitchen. Into their house and they were all on the porch hanging out and talking. We didn't know a single soul there. No, we didn't. We were invited. It was from a Facebook group that we were in. And we were invited.
But we didn't know anyone. And I wish we would have set some kind of communication up with a couple. Yeah, we didn't know anyone.
Because we did we ended up meeting a lot of people and it was fine and it was fun but going into it especially if that was my first experience I would have definitely been terrified because I was almost there at that point we were already seasoned I don't know I was pretty close to running too it was intimidating intimidating it took definitely took us out of our comfort zone for sure oh good but for the before we that house party we were going to takeovers and secrets with a lot of people we've known for a while so it took us out of the comfort zone where we were forced to meet new people which i think was really actually good for us yeah but then after the house parties you would have i'd say floor parties like hotels where they take over just one floor takeovers yeah that's pretty much all hotel takeover hotel takeover they just take over either floor or a block or the entire hotel and you're at a hotel usually a weekend thing it's usually a whole weekend thing and then you have resorts like you know and you've got secrets if that's more your vibe maybe you just want to do a spicy vacation once a year maybe you're just looking for an experience once or just somewhere tropical or somewhere warm somewhere you can relax more vacation then you have lifestyle friendly that aren't really lifestyle resorts like temptations yeah and desire which are technically left out resorts but they're lifestyle friendly and then you have like mixers and meet and greets that's usually just at a bar or in a restaurant or something like that and you just show up and it's just hang out get a drink or get something to eat and just meet other people in the very vanilla and yeah just hang out hanging out meeting people smaller group people usually and it's just it's in a vanilla setting usually there's other people around usually vanilla people and families and stuff like that nothing crazy so we just yeah hang out and talk and just yeah it's just it's a mean freak like an inner meeting great yeah nothing and then on the other side that you also can just connect with a couple and go out on a date.
Yeah, dating is very, yeah, very normal. And that's very normal. We do it. In between all of this stuff, we still date people and go out to dinner and go places with them on the side. Go out to dinner, meet new people and just connect, make connections. We went to a Mexican restaurant for a long whore. FreeFun was our app for pretty much the first year and a half. We met a lot of our local friends. At 3Fun, you'll find people directly on top of you. Where you live, it's a local app. It's an app that you can pull up people based on distance.
I mean, SCC and as well as that too, but this app is just an app. It works well like Tinder. And it's like this person is 0.8 miles away and stuff like that.
But that's how we found lot of our local friends and then we would just get on there connect get on to kick or snap or something on the side or text or whatever and then we would go out to dinner and stuff and that might make it a little bit easier for you too maybe that's more your style maybe more two on two or two on one scenario or two on four however many people you take on your date but right maybe that's more have your vibe and let's say find an an event or find a club or find or hotel takeover or whatever it is that you're going to zoo book it go on that date make the date go you know plan ahead of time and just keep on communicating keep talking yeah you got to keep open line of communication with your partner don't test your test the waters go very slowly that's like my biggest recommendation is go in with no expectations at all don't walk in expecting to have sex with anyone at all and just take your time and don't let the person that's most excited about it lead the way Stay at the pace of the slowest.
Stay at the pace of the most apprehensive person. Because you don't want to push those people into uncomfortable situations. You want to be comfortable.
And I just recommend going as a couple, as a new thing, as a date, as a let's go experience the environment let's go see what this is about let's go meet people just go meet people going in into it and just go into it wanting to meet people and learn as much as you possibly can i do i think that's like the number one thing is just it's not that serious don't make it weird like it can just be going and sitting down and having dinner at a club and just meeting people and talking to people and seeing what's going on dance for a little bit and go home it doesn't have to be environments like the club or hotel takeovers or even floor parties it's so much going on it overwhelming.
You have to have time to acclimate. Yeah. And there's no... There's so much going on. There's so much stuff to see. Yeah. Especially when you're first time there. And you're not... And no one's going to... You might be proposed. You might be asked. But there's no one's going to... Yeah.
No one's going to approach you, for the most part and other than a friendly yeah they're going to approach but even if you are approached to go play there's no aggressive or yeah it's going to be just a friendly yeah get to know your conversation and a normal conversation that you have at the grocery store with people that you meet not going to be you're not going to have no pressure yeah that's what i was trying to the word i was looking for is that there's no pressure that's what if you're feeling pressure don't be afraid to say no to back out of that situation but for the most part i guarantee you no one's going to get mad or upset what's your name and by hearing no yeah it's going to be very even when if you go on a date with another couple or anything like that it's just a normal right because they're filling out to dinner with anyone that you don't know get to know them people and talk to the people get to know them and pick their brains a little bit you're similar in some ways like how long have you guys been in a lifestyle what got you guys in the lifestyle tell people don't be afraid to tell people that you don't know what you're doing that this is your first time that you have no idea what's going on and everyone in this lifestyle that i've ever met has been nothing but friendly and nice yeah and caring and they're willing to answer all the questions if you have the right attitude and if you go into it and you want to learn there are people that are going to teach you there are so many people out there willing to grab your hand because i know the people like we've met a lot of people where it was their first event first takeover first club experience when we've met a lot of people where it was their first event, first takeover, first club experience when we met a lot of people.
And I always like to hear their perspectives anyway. What do you think? That's how you find events and stuff. That's another thing that I didn't bring up was finding events, finding clubs, finding all of these house parties, these hotel takeovers, all of that.
Go in there and look at the reviews and ask people what their favorite hotel takeover is what their favorite club is what especially locally like where do they go and hang out where do they enjoy going on dates where they enjoy going to the club going to the takeover and stuff like that and get people's recommendation on legit events the you know and clubs and stuff that are that have all the things that you need, the safety and the, you know, a good time too that draws a good crowd, a good group of people, depending on the vibe you're looking for, what kind of atmosphere it brings and their reputation is a lot.
Make sure that the hosts are, you know, have some education under their belt.
Just have to make sure that they know what they're doing and because every host and every party vibe is a little bit different so you just have to figure it out you have to match your vibe you're gonna have to figure it out it's all like i said it's there's no playbook it's all trial and error you have to people recommend so many different things to you and so many different resorts and places to go and everything and each person is going to have something that they we like to hang out with certain groups because we just like the vibe you know and it's just this is the group of people that these people attract are the people that we're attracted to and and those are obviously that we're going to go to and spend money on everybody's going to find that group too like their own group yeah so you're going to find you got to find and then to do that you're gonna just go and test it out and try it out and get talk to people more people that you we've i've heard both spectrums of just about every group that we've you know is out there oh yeah people that yeah you've got love this group likes to do this you'll hear this group only does this this group this this one i don't like about this i love this about this group you'll hear all the things and you're really gonna have to just test it out and try it out and see which one fits you and your partner and then once you're done the event and everything's over and you're going and you're leaving and you were there then what then where you go from there what we do is we unpack for we talk about it and yeah like because again so much is going on you have to take time so fast yeah you're talking about this you're talking about the whole situation like that next morning yeah but you're talking about that you're talking about the things you saw as you heard the things you're gonna remember things and oh did you see this or did you see that and you're gonna you're gonna relive these experiences and it's gonna turn you both gonna remember details and stuff that you and didn't even think about it until the next day.
Sometimes we drive home in complete silence, but then the next morning we'll sit on the back porch and just start spewing. And then sometimes we talk the entire way home nonstop about it. It's just sometimes some experiences, depending on what happened, or sometimes it is overwhelming and you just need to self-reflection first and just sit on it for a minute. A lot has happened or anything, boundaries that have adjusted or changed or anything or feelings that you're sitting on. Sometimes driving home in silence, like it just is. Yeah. There's no right or wrong way to do it.
Sometimes you have to process it yourself before you. Sometimes you'll just immediately start communicating. But other times we sit.
Other times, yeah, we'll sit there for there for eight we've driven like word vomit 13 hours and just talk straight through the whole entire drive about everything and so it but there's no right or wrong way as long as you communicate about it as long as you talk through it and then you can adjust boundaries adjust rules like maybe after that i you know maybe we can lose this rule or we can adjust it a little bit or maybe we can back off with that one or i didn't like how or maybe i don't like that and we need to add boundaries we need to add rules to it to make me feel more comfortable or maybe i didn't like you know it's good and bad talk about all of the things anything that you felt any feeling that came up any jealousy any uncomfortable feelings that you had during the whole experience anything that you saw that you't love, anything about the event itself that you loved or didn't love.
You have to be okay with just talking each little detail about all of it. So you can adjust and you can navigate and you can find out the way you're going to navigate this whole journey. There's no wrong way to do it. There's no wrong way. As long as it works for you guys, it doesn't... As long as it works for you guys and you're talking and you're getting stronger... There's nothing... You're doing it right. Just keep on trying things. Keep on talking about these things. Keep on being willing to experiment and learn and be open and communicate.
If you don't enjoy yourself, try something different. Try something else. Try a different I'll see you next time.
experiment and learn and be open and communicate and keep if you don't enjoy yourself try something different try something else right try a different atmosphere maybe like you were saying before like maybe hotel takeovers are your thing they're overwhelming and they're a lot for some people maybe they would be better with i say i know i was talking to a guy one of our friends last week or two weeks ago something like that and he was they were headed to a hotel takeover and he was telling me that it's really not they're starting to get to the point where they don't they like a more intimate setting instead of a big hotel there's a lot of people and or there's people like i'm bored of the small groups i wanted to do something big yeah and so there's no right or no there's no right around and there's people like, I'm bored of the small groups.
I wanted to do something big. Yeah. And so. There's no right or wrong. No. There's no right or wrong. And there's no, like your feelings are valid and you're okay. Like you're okay. It's okay to feel that way. And it's okay to have preferences. And there's okay to, you can pick and choose and make this journey exactly what you want it to be. There's no right or wrong way.
It can be tailored to your liking go slow no expectations just have a good time just enjoy yourself and don't let other people push their expectations on you no it's okay because you will run into that too where somebody expects something and you're going to have to shut that down yeah don't let anybody push their expectations on you either that's all the time that we have to talk about that hey there listeners are you looking to prioritize your sexual health and wellness we've got just a thing for you shameless care offers at-home testing kits telehealth consultations and even treatment for ed and performance anxiety for when you want to play but your body says otherwise it's convenient discreet and all about keeping you at your best and guess what we've teamed up with them to give you an exclusive discount use code hot that's code h o t at checkout to get 30 off your first order don't walk run it's time to take charge of your sexual health today with shameless care because your health is nothing to be ashamed of yeah there's not more we could say about that we're going to probably have to break this into another episode i'd like to do another episode about club etiquette event etiquette and what to bring and what to expect more a little bit more in depth about all of that and what to take with you and what's going to happen when you get there.
There's so much more that we could say in the whole of this and we can continue on. But this was the basics of how to start the conversation, what to expect, dipping your toes in and how to navigate all of that. So next week we're going to talk about red flags. Red flags. And green flags. All the flags. But all the flags. Beige flags. Going off of this. Yeah. Goes off this episode. Just something, not necessarily a hard stop, but definitely stuff to look out for. Stuff to look out for. Stuff we ran into. To help protect you guys.
Some red flags we've ran into, noticed a pattern, and we've seen along the journey and heard about along the journey that kind of keep an eye out and important stuff to keep in mind there and yeah other than that we've got we're going to trapeze november 15th we'll be in trapeze if you're going to be if you're in atlanta we're going there with pad if you're in pad and all of that birthday party for anything but yes we've got birthday party coming up and then after that we've got what have we got next we got new year's eve with pad as well yeah we're doing new year's eve with pad yes we'll be there new year's eve and we'll have a link for that as well yeah so if you're looking for tickets come to that's going to be a great time and it's like a tuesday or wednesday something like that so we get to come to it we've never ever left our house for new we always spend it with the kids yeah our anniversary is the 29th so we've always if, if we did, we always did it that night.
But we've never been, we've never celebrated New Year's Eve together outside of our home. So it's going to be exciting. I'm excited that it's during the week. It works out. It's going to be good. It's going to be a good time. It's going to be a great time. Definitely. And then there's food, cocktails. There's going to be, it's going to be such a good time. It's a whole big thing. It's going to be a good time. If you have any questions about that or any information that you're looking for, it's going to be down below and then in all of our socials as well. And then after that. Secrets.
It's sold out. So there's nothing to say really about that. Yeah. No. Just if you're still looking for a room to get on a wait list, just send us an email. Yeah, if you want to get on a wait list, let us know and we can get you on there. But yeah, it's sold out. It's sold out quickly. It was a quick one. I knew it would be. See, there'll be a couple rooms that might open up. But again, there's already a wait list. There's always cancellations.
There's chances if you're on the wait list, you probably will get a room, and especially closer to it, you'll definitely have a lot of cancellations and things that happen. Life happens and stuff. Get on that wait list if you want to go. So you can go. It's going to be a good time as well with the Swinger Society and then that's all we've got on the book so far. We'll see. We're going to do a lot of, I think, closer local to home stuff. It's winter time. We're going to stay a little closer to home. We're at Atlanta. It's local bonfire. Yeah. Local Atlanta stuff.
Unless something comes up, we're spontaneous and you never know where to expect us we always pop up randomly we do you never know where you're gonna be but those are the things on our calendars right now and then yeah we'll be back with you guys next wednesday though so we'll see you guys next week we will talk to you very soon we love you guys all right guys it's not that serious don't make you weird bye bye
