In this episode of 'Hot Couple Chronicles,' hosts Ashley and Russ welcome their friends Rob and Lindsey from 'Anything But Vanilla' to discuss their experiences in the lifestyle. They cover a range of topics including the importance of communication, consent, and setting boundaries. They delve into personal stories about how they entered the lifestyle and the challenges they faced such as overcoming jealousy and building confidence. The episode also emphasizes the crucial aspects of consent using the FRIES model (Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific).Our Guest's LinksInstagram-anything.but.vani11aOnlyFansSpecial thanks to @nominalfilter for the original music! Check them out on SoundCloud: NominalFilter.Voluptuous Vixen: Inclusive clothing company! Use code hotcoupleinga for 10% off!Find All Our Links Here: LinktreeUpcoming Events:Swinger Society’s Back Stage Pass Takeover at Secrets Hideaway: More InfoFollow Us:Instagram: @hotcouplechroniclesInstagram: @HotCoupleInGATikTok: @hotcouplechroniclesTikTok: @thathotcouple_ingaX (Twitter): @ThatCoupleInGAFacebook: ThatHotCoupleInGALocal Communities:SDC: 2 free weeks with code 36775: JoinSLS: 1 Month FREE: Sign Up3Fun: Free app for local swingers: DownloadSwinger Society Discord: Join 40,000+ swingers: JoinHealth Wellness:Shameless Care: $30 off ED meds or STI testing: OrderHello Wisp: 15% off sexual health prescriptions with code INGA15: ShopPremium Content:Ashley’s VIP OnlyFans: No Pay Per View: VIP OnlyFansAshley’s PPV OnlyFans: OnlyFansAshley’s Fansly: FanslyRuss’ OnlyFans: OnlyFans
Transcript
You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle.
Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences. While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on this adventure.
Hello and welcome to Hot Couple chronicles i am ashley and i'm russ and we are here today with some really good friends of ours we got rob and lindsey here from anything but vanilla they are on social media by that we are very excited they're partners with pineapples after dark and we just got back from their event which was absolutely amazing i am still buzzing from that weekend it was so good our next episode the one before this is going to be about all about that all about the weekend and me kind of being alone in my experience there so these guys are huge in that they are yes i love i'm excited i love it i still haven't told him everything because i've been of keeping it.
She's trying to get genuine reactions out of me. Yeah. I'm trying to explain everything in front of him, but it's hard. I've told him bits and pieces, but I am. Yeah. We are going to talk more about you. I've seen pictures. Yeah, I did share them. I showed them all the pictures. I couldn't keep those. Those were good. Those were really good. The videos. Yeah. Yeah. The good stuff. Yeah.
We're're gonna talk more about their story and talk about consent today which we all really really you know the most important thing in the lifestyle is consent and so we want to deep deep dive into that more and get your thoughts and education you know educate a few people because it's super important in their style get another couple's perspective out of it yeah yeah and it's always good to talk more and more about oh yeah but before we do that we want to share a little bit about how you guys met how long you've been together kind of your little backstory about the lifestyle in general well what happened was so we met at work 12 years or so I think so since we actually met and then what together about 10 10 years this november december that's right 10 years this year we've been married seven and we've actually been in the lifestyle what we figured almost right we're still in that infant phase where it's like we've been doing it for 13 yep we've been doing this for 170 months so in the you know in the lifestyle world we're really I think still couldn't have considered newbies which is called newbies which Thank you.
so in the you know in in the lifestyle world we're really i think still couldn't have considered newbies which is called newbies which i think is fine considering everything we've shown people that don't know us yeah yeah um but i mean as far as how we i guess finally got into it we talked about it for a long time so rob and i are both in our second marriage um so when we got together it was it really just started with all passes yes yep because we both travel for work sometimes so it's like you know what you're at the bar and whoever is giving you googly eyes like go for it yeah uh so we we never ever once took advantage of that for the whole time we were together not once i mean like what the hell are we doing and that's how the conversation started last year um in the spring and we said what do we do we have these halt passes and there was there was something else well i started to realize and accept the fact that i'm like i think we kind of like girls so you know is that okay yes it's like i think i like girls is that okay yeah um just because of my southern deep root upbringing right yeah and that's a topic for another day a whole nother episode on that um it kind of started there and you know i got to where you know if i was watching erotic videos i really wanted like girl and girl stuff explicitly i feel like that's where it got you so i forget what i forget how it started we were sitting out back by the fire pit and it was as simple as how do we do this how do hit us this i'm like well i bet the internet could tell us and it did uh we signed up for you know we spent the 49.99 for an app and um get up our profiles and i think within a couple days we started chatting with some people so and we think right away like we were reading like oh what are these boundary things we need to learn about?
Like all those, all the things, you know, I think our lifestyle for beginners that can go over. You're the Google master anyway, but then it was not only that, it was like, okay, what can we find on YouTube? So we went on and found some of the more educational videos on there.
And so, you know, I learned about boundaries and consent and all of those things really early on and we just don't have or had first something i don't know had went somewhere yeah and we haven't looked back it's been amazing and life-changing i mean it it really felt like a blow um really really well it just we've i think we looked at each other and go why we're doing this all along i mean this this is obvious oh yeah yeah that's so funny now it's like what's your what's your one regret that we didn't figure this out sooner yeah that's it yeah yeah i was gonna ask you what is was the lifestyle like what you were expecting or did it meet your expectations it goes exceed your expectations what were you expecting oh my gosh it has blown my mind and expectation completely out of water and it's i mean right now for sure but yeah considering what we've done oh yeah it's definitely a journey it's definitely a journey our first experience yeah yeah yes like mind-blowing because we didn't know what to expect i i didn't yeah our first like real date out um ended up being a full swap with this amazing couple and it was a great date night and everything and yep never looked back yeah yeah this this was it really took me out of my shell um i i would say And because Lindsay looked at me and said, like, who the fuck are you?
Yeah. We went out, went to a bar, met a couple. We immediately went to swapping the partners for holding hands or whatever, walking, chatting, kids saying. And we're just kind of walking around and doing things.
And then at one point late in the evening, I said, we should all get together and take this to the next step so they they pull out their phones and they're like looking at their calendar and i'm like no i mean right now yeah i'm just looking at me like yeah okay yeah yeah i'm like so then they go well there's a hotel you know nearby here and i said we're going to go back to our house let's go yeah and we did come on over or 100 so i yeah we went back we're both kind of nervous they were amazing as far as just taking it slow but yet being at being willing to kind of be that first experience with us as well and and lead and guide and it ended up being an amazing night which i hear is a unique for a lot of people on their first experiences yeah a lot of times yeah and they don't know and that's fine i feel like we got very very lucky yeah we did not even yeah well like oh it sounds a lot like oh we have friends that have been in lifestyle for years and years and years when first got in the lifestyle, we were meeting a whole bunch of people that are in the lifestyle for, you know, 5, 10, 15 years.
And then we went off and our first year was just bananas. And then we came back and we started hanging out with everybody again after we kind of traveled everywhere. And they're like, you took the accelerated course. We took the quick course. That would be us. Yep, yep. We took the fast way. We were going to talk more about us. But yeah, how has your relationship changed since touring the lifestyle or for the good or for the bad? Anything? Well, there's two aspects to it.
One, I'll start with one and we'll go back to us one is we barely have a weekend to ourselves anymore because of our work with we are a constant like last night we were on a call for two hours right yeah and that was 48 hours prior where we have you know the huge party like like it's constant and i'm happy for it i love oh yeah it's not a not a bad thing it's not a criticism but if there was one i guess downside it is the time for what we're doing takes yeah yeah i agree but for us specifically i mean for me it's worth it because the smiles on people's faces and connecting people is that's one of our main things that's my oh my gosh love it that's my favorite i love being the matchmaker and yeah i think everybody's my friends than their friends and just meeting everyone is so much fun i love it i love it we have definitely become more connected though everybody says that but if you have a good strong relationship and your life style yeah i think everyone i've talked to has said you talk to your partner more than you've ever talked to them before in your life.
You know more about them. We immediately call each other out on stuff so much faster. And we're open about what's wrong. Not in a bad way, though. You think vanilla is like, oh, my God, they called them out. But for some reason, it's totally different in the lifestyle. It's not a bad thing.
Well, I think you just touched on the secret to just a healthy relationship period you just said we have healthy relationships yeah that's right there do you have it have you had any initial like challenges anything that you've had to overcome at the beginning or now or on your journey yes um i wouldn't know it's not all positive all the time i like no it's so wonderful i think was um i encountered a lot of it for myself i wouldn't call it jealousy but i also did not have a confidence which is funny because people who know me now they're like yeah yeah right it depends on the jealousy it was an insecurity i don't even think you knew was there yeah yeah because you he's always been just the outgoing you know take charge and do this and that so that was even interesting for me to start to see and that was some of our um more in-depth kind of eye-opening conversations was really how you were feeling early on yeah um so i would you know we'd go out someplace she's getting all the attention yeah like in a like a meet and greet someplace whatever and i'm i feel like i'm in the corner with my drink like we go yeah yeah i'm gonna go very common i know that's a very common thing that I hear a lot.
That's changed. Oh, yeah. I guess I figured it out for myself. Did you have any of that ruts? I had a little bit of that. Ashley's beautiful. When we found I learned quickly that women run this lifestyle. She takes the lead. I'll follow her lead. This is one of the few places where she actually takes the lead and I just follow her. But I didn't at first either. I was so shy. I still have moments. But I was so shy and just socially anxious. Also, we were going to, like, trap for months. Yeah. And it was just us hanging out. Yeah.
Before we, we like we would talk to people yeah but yeah it was a lot of of personal like self-work like you're saying like just overcoming a lot of insecurity a lot of confidence issues a lot of you're listening to a podcast right now driving working out walking the dog if you're into podcasts chances are you have something to say too with r RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this.
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How does that even work trainers you've been with your husband for so many years or so long and I'm just like I don't even know how to talk to other people really like that anymore you know so it was a lot of me getting over that that was one of the hardest things for me though was the attention because yes I mean I I guess said perhaps my my second husband like a person i ever been with yeah and so you know you hit these places and you know people are just like oh my gosh you're beautiful or this or that or um and i didn't know what to do with that i was just like thanks like shut up yeah that's my initial every time i gotta i gotta go get a drink making it weird now but yeah we're gonna kind of talk about jealousy we were talking about jealousy have you uh like what's an instance what do you recommend for jealousy and kind of overcoming jealousy and how do you work through that that's a topic that comes up all the time how do you handle do we have jealousy feelings we've had a couple of times where something just hit wrong um and i'll use my example there is there is an instance where lindsey was distributed by somebody i was i like the kid i like all the time right yeah and so i was like in make out world with this one first day and like it was honestly if i was a third party looking at like well that's really weird they'd be kissing like 22 bit yeah just in the club um and you know she was pretty triggered by that um better and that kind of snowballed that's it snowballed and i still would i'd still look back at that today going why like yeah yeah um but yeah that's that's about it a lot that's my biggest one today and we see this person around often and it's and it's fine it's fine yeah she's she's a good person we like her it's not her fault yeah i was kissing is often like it just seems more intimate i think that's why a lot of people when they join lifestyle they're like no kissing because it does have that like intimacy feel to it you're in someone's a you know face and yeah yeah for a lot of people and i think that's what it was it was the the sensuality behind this make out section and i'm just like yeah yeah don't care if you fucker just stop making out with her pretty much yeah i mean yeah but else has to do with my mouth?
Move on. Move on. Next step. That's most of it. I haven't been taking notes. Looking to add some excitement to your social life?
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Here we go. Here we go. I would say there was an instance this past year, and I talked to the couple we were with about this before we got on here. And I think this really started tickling my brain about consent and made it much more important. I think I kick-started it.
So the couple put these together all the time uh they're not married they're um their boyfriend girlfriend whatever you want to call it um they're not married to each other that's um it's all good so anyway she ended up staying with us and they um we played with her the next morning and she she was like yeah this is, this is great. It's fine. You know, the three of us, it was all mutual. And her significant other was elsewhere. Um, she said, no, it's great. Let's do this. And so we didn't wait. It was a fun morning. Um, and later on that weekend, she said, yeah, I told him about it.
Um, he's pretty upset. Um, you probably need to talk to him. I said, okay, well, tell me about that.
And she about that and she said well you know we're we're supposed to play together and all this and so you know i called him and we worked out we're really good friends um we did we did work this out and i i said you know i'm sorry you know i i disrespected that boundary um and you know i think the the message there for me was one you know if you know somebody's in a partnered relationship and you know that they they play together all the time um even if the consent is from one person you gotta really think through that and say is this is this really what it's supposed to be and are you gonna get in trouble yeah everyone involved yeah yeah i try to follow rules a lot right i'm like i'm follower.
Um, and I will push them where they are necessary, but, um, we had this great conversation, he and I, and he explained to me, um, what that is. So consent is not only may I do this, but consent is also respecting, um, all of the boundaries that you know about, um, that couple, it can start getting fuzzy.
If you meet a new couple that is or any person in the lifestyle like oh yeah i'm i'm married my husband says he's okay to play how do you know that right so yeah are you going to get yourself in the middle of a weird entanglement um that that is a big deal to me so i'm like okay what what do we really need to know about consent if we need to make sure everybody knows about consent oh yeah yes yeah yes yeah yeah you don't want to be tangled up in some Thank you.
okay what what do we really need to know about consent if we need to make sure everybody knows about consent oh yeah yes yeah yes yeah yeah you don't want to be tangled up in some drama that's that has nothing to do with you to be honest exactly no that's what the next question was like how do you handle when stuff comes up like that but i do really think the answer is always again communication communication i really do feel like handling those situations that are weird.
And as far as the communication, too, like the fact that, like you said, you know, they've talked, we've reconciled, we are great friends still and love to hang out. It's the lifestyle. While we're everywhere, it's still a small community of people.
And you don't want're gonna see people out and about anyway um and nobody wants to be walking around you know with the purple elephant on their back or whatever what they're saying the green monkey yeah like the lifestyle a lot of people don't talk about it a whole lot you kind of touched on it is your it's reputation based yeah if you have a reputation of crossing boundaries then your name's going to keep coming your name's going to keep or you know let people the couples that always the night always ends in a fight or an argument or stuff like that like yeah people in those circles know those people and avoid those people and then they have a the people with the issues have a even worse lifestyle experience because they ostracize themselves from all these issues right and it's amazing in this short time that we've seen couples that have done that to themselves just oh yeah yeah we've been in middle of a playroom and all out orgy and all of a sudden we heard yelling in a corner look up and there's just screaming in the corner like oh okay i guess it's over guys everybody just kind of put their clothes on and left it happens weird that's not awkward things happen and we and people mess up you know we're human we do mess up and it's gonna happen we're not always all perfect all the time but you have yeah you have to be able to communicate sit down have conversation be adults you know take accountability for what so many people want that drama in their life so if they're bringing that like I need this extra drama and they bring that in work there from in the rest of their lives and they bring it in there's a maturity that you have to have yes hey beautiful if you're looking to feel confident and sexy voluptuous fix and has got you covered with stunning lingerie and outfits that fit every curve and for our listeners you can snag 10 off your order with code hot couple in ga at checkout don't miss out check out the link below and find your next favorite piece.
So what advice would you give newcomers into the lifestyle with setting boundaries and rules and guidelines and kind of, where should they start? I'll take this one. Exactly there.
So before you go to meet and greet, before you go to a club, before you join an a club before you join an app before you do anything make sure that you're on the same page um the last thing you want to do is get into your first situation or conversation or go on your first date and you guys are on different you know different pages of the book it's it's key you've got to be in sync with where you are and listen that's the key to listen yeah as you're talking through it you've got to understand your partner's boundaries maybe and why maybe it's a boundary that you wouldn't have but they do and one thing that we've really learned too is you start somewhere and then our boundaries have evolved so much I was just going to say that boundaries can change at any point they can change the next moment, the next day you never know it can change in the moment in the middle of the play session like oh I don't like that time out, hold on or I do like that or like okay i've had someone say one time like okay you know what are your boundaries what what do you not like and their answer to me was if we find it i'll tell you to stop yeah yep and i mean i'll let you know like oh you're adventurous and then the other part of me goes, what do I deal with you?
I don't know. And you may have asked it, but the, we've had some challenges with our boundaries sometimes, so I think the very, the very first one was, you know, we're, we're same room, you know, full stop, whatever. Then we, we try to, you know, we're out together, great, we're out together. We're at a party and I'm, I'm over at the corner talking with somebody and, um, I look up and I see Lindsay, like taking a woman's hand and leading her to a bedroom. And, you know, first I'm like, okay, well, let's go down. I'm like, wait, what the fuck? Right. Like this isn't in the playbook.
um and so the woman i was with we were we're friends and so she saw what was going on and she's like okay i think i want to let that happen at the same time my heart's like no yeah i did catch his eye in the middle of it and i i look back down i'm like okay i could see the angst in his face but i you're listening to a podcast a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy.
Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. Also got the nod, and that's exactly what he said just now. He's like, I wanted her to go and do it, but I know I have these feelings. Because we didn't talk about that. Yeah.
Right think there's um there's the couple's consent so there's a reason why you have the boundaries there's the couple's consent that if you you don't want to violate that trust with your partner um and so that that was a big thing and we talked heavily about it and had a very happy ending i ended up in the room with so i am really that was like the first best night i had with like three women and myself like tell me you've had those conversations though that it's like okay oh yeah sir and then you end with but yeah yeah oh yeah oh yeah it was a lot of fun and then just as recent as this past weekend um you know she went off into another room with uh somebody you know we have we have the suite so and i look up like okay whatever she's in there sure the door was open but there was open so i'm like okay and i didn't i didn't get up until i heard you squealing and you said you squirted so we had that situation we were relatively new we were we went out with a couple ended up back at their house and actually and the husband were in the bedroom and the wife and i were in the living room it was right there i could see her but we still weren't in the same room we could always play like next to each other and we hadn't talked about it I ended up migrating into the bedroom in the moments like are we okay are you okay am I okay we had we had that pretty early on yeah where we ended up it was not same room per se yeah we could see each other it's a big room exactly yeah yeah because we do like that's most of our fun is like watching each other have fun so that's why we always just that's that same room because we just enjoy being together and yeah yeah exactly that that is a big turnoff for me is to see her enjoy yeah you know herself and even to the point where now went too deep into it but you know the she would start the girl girl stuff and i would like you know sit down and adjust the lights and the music have it break yeah sometimes you get a ham of a guy the hugs are out the other he's like making jokes the whole time yeah oh yeah i've had i mean i've even just sat there in the corner watch that's cool yeah yeah eat snacks sandwich eat some laundry watch a television show or two alright then what are some red flags consent wise that you have seen before in your journey we've seen red flags anything that we've experienced oh the only the red flag are more of an intuition but if you've ever been talking to or seen the couples where only one's really engaging engage yeah or the and i know some couple some people are more quiet but like you you kind of get that sixth sense of yeah something doesn't go right here i've had that they're uncomfortable yeah yeah i've had that a few times i know we've left a conversation before where we've gone i'm pretty sure they're driving that train and the other person doesn't want to be here of ourself from that exactly doesn't feel comfortable for that we yeah we we stopped talking to a couple for that reason so i think that's probably the biggest one so far because we i mean we, we're so big into consent anyway that like, yeah, I'm going to know you're, yeah, it's going to be very clear.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Yes. All right. And especially in the event setting, the play setting, it gets crazy. It gets wild. How do you make sure that everyone involved?
What's, do you have or tips or anything that is to make sure each person is comfortable yeah it can be depending on the group of people so our most recent group orgy was was there 10 of us or something i i don't remember it was the big backroom at the club and because we all knew each other people on the way back were talking about consent yeah right and so that was fine with a big group of people i don't know um i'm not i'm gonna speak up so like i'm i'm not gonna let someone do something if i don't want it i don't touch someone in a group situation unless they say it's okay i don't come up behind someone and do something so that's my own personal rule and then yeah like i said for for others because you do get the people in there that just have no boundaries or they think that it's a free-for-all and it's just a matter of being like hey that's not cool back off yeah or just calm down however you want to say it so i i think a good you know it was when we were all together in atlanta um with without russ yeah and i was very concerned i even told ashley i want to make her shoes comfortable i know you said you were you're anxious And then we ended up with a bunch of people in the room.
And we made sure, there were all people we all knew. But everybody knew where Ashley was at. So we were all very concerned. What is she comfortable with? Well, I did a hard stop at one point.
Because that was when I had asked her, I was like, hey, do you want to send pictures and videos pictures and videos since i can't be here yeah so like just the backstory so they know what you're talking about we we went sorry this past one but the one before i didn't didn't we didn't have the podcast yet so they're probably like what the heck yeah i'd stayed with them at the both the last one and the one before i stayed for a night last time and then last time for the weekend and it was the first time I really have ever been I have ever been to an event without my husband so I still have never like we said we same room we've always done this together it's been a nice journey and yeah there was new not new people people I were kind of familiar with but I had not spent a lot of time with all of them and I didn't I was missing him I really was I was missing him my HS was flaringaring i wasn't feeling really great about myself right then and i it was a little bit uncomfortable for a minute just a moment of like i want to make sure he feels okay about it i want to make sure because one of our you know that's our kind of thing has been i would love to be involved like because we get off on watching each other have fun and what we're doing and he just wanted you know a couple snippets a couple little you know videos and stuff meanwhile i was at work now of all the fun and it was so much fun so we talk about fomo it was fun meanwhile i'm getting videos and pictures i'm like you said you wanted it here you go and i enjoyed it but also i knew what i was missing yeah but that was i knew exactly what i was missing that was a very good moment because him and one of the other guys that were there were just so gentle and so kind and so patient with me because i was having you know just a moment of i'm not sure how to navigate i'm not sure how this is going to work i still don't know he messaged me yeah like and i maybe during i forget the time frame i have to look at my messages but yeah he was he's like man wish you were here this and that i had a great time and i was just yeah and i was anxious and he he messaged me this last weekend at the uh glow party like he's like like you need to get off work and yeah they were very good at making sure i was i've been battling with that too because like i'm like all right do i i used to message her and this is like been all the times like i was doing something fun whenever i was out whatever she's like would you stop sending me messages i don't want to see that yeah right so i was battling do we do we reach out like what doesn't what oh no you are like more than i am i love seeing and living vicariously through you guys so like it's just still gonna be i'm still at work right okay right right no so like yeah you're always like oh that's like i wish i should like i should i could like if i just leave right now and i could be there by like 4 30.
will they be still awake at 4 30.
probably possibly probably probably the bus in the door like give me a shot let's do this give me the bottle and so i guess from your situation you know i think when you know each other it makes it easier but we still ask every time every time yeah i think you asked one of the ladies who said uh can rob borrow your vagina you know yeah yeah that happens when a dj life of spice our real close friend he does something really really cute to get consent he always will look at him and be like do you mind if me and your wife dance oh yeah so i love what do you mind if i dance with your wife i dance with your wife in the middle of an orgy so we know what this means right everybody's got their way it doesn't have to be like awkward it doesn't have to be strange you can make it you know sexy and fun it doesn't have to be so weird and you don't have to make it so official like it can be just a simple like are you okay yes not that serious it's not that serious don't make it weird but also you want to get weird but also you know can I perhaps can I don't know.
That's what we always say. Yes. Hey there, listeners. Are you looking to prioritize your sexual health and wellness? We've got just a thing for you. Shameless Care offers at-home testing kits, telehealth consultations, and even treatment for ED and performance anxiety for when you want to play but your body says otherwise. It's convenient, discreet, and all about keeping you at your best. And guess what? We've teamed up with them to give you an exclusive discount. Use code HOT, that's code H-O-T, at checkout to get $30 off your first order. Don't walk, run.
It's time to take charge of your sexual health today with shameless care because your health is nothing to be ashamed of. Yeah, we wanted to go, I guess we'll go over the, we want to go over the fries, the fries method, the good old fries kind of explain.
Can you explain more of what the principle of fries is what that means all of what it is as a reminder for all of us how that started again we were still we were talking about things that we want to post regularly on on our group and uh so every we have fries friday now price friday i love it so much missing for a month because somebody was in facebook jail yeah you just got out of jail and so we wanted to say look everyone it what's consent's important and i need you to read this um and read it every week and we you know new members all the time and we always have people who thank us that we post it and so yeah the uh it's freely given reversible informed enthusiastic topic and each of these things should speak for themselves.
You know, you're not in, um, it's freely given in, you know, I, I'm not being pushed to do it, right? You know, I can say, nope, you know what? I don't want it. Uh, we're done. Uh, you know, in, in forms, like this is what I'm going to do. Like, I'm going to, I'd like a hand job and all of a sudden you're you can revoke it at any time it can be taken exactly at any time and then just because you say yes one time doesn't mean next time means yes you know yeah there's no informed consent yeah there's no informed yes yes i could be messing up words again words are hard words.
Just because you're in a wordy situation, a good sex situation is a great example of that where yes, everybody should be saying yes, you need to do this.
We have heard stories where that wasn't the case where somebody assumes that they can touch somebody whatever uh and that's you know and it's at perspective too oh yeah so but the person who like lindsey might not need consent for somebody to do this um but for another person this might mean a lot that you ask to do it uh so i i for me i think it's important to say hey is this okay you know and i do that often again it goes back to that whole i gotta be a gentleman um but i don't also look like i'm just yeah i'm gonna be the dominant one here at this you're listening to a podcast right now driving working out walking the dog if you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too.
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If you've been thinking about starting a podcast this is your sign start free at rss.com yeah being i don't see you know there's a balance that so i think yeah consent is sexy uh because then it ends up being sexy but not everybody everyone is enthusiastic and you know wants to do it there's nothing sexier than everyone being excited about it and enthusiastic and all here for it. One of the really important parts about it is, just going back to the freely given piece of it, is there is a component of drugs and alcohol that are, especially alcohol, although we've encountered drugs before.
That's what I was just going to touch on. Hey! Yeah. Thanks for tuning that up. We encounter people who have been drinking a lot. We want to make sure that they really are. And it's usually both partners help out with that conversation, but if somebody's just been so drunk, you want to make sure that this is the right thing to do.
There's been's been situation for it been like we're gonna we're gonna go yeah i don't think you can consent right now i don't think when you get to that point it's not fun like it's not sexy it's not feeling things like they should be they're like yeah we're there for an experience like i want you to experience have fun and experience everything everybody else is doing if you're to that extent yeah there's no point yeah it's not like just a number thing a numbers thing going back to you know we said what would you give a newbie's advice for us like let's go back to this for a second don't go out you know and drink heavily and then like go play um with people or go find people who have been drinking like just keep alcohol to a minimum um as much as you can you know i i'm usually designated driver so if you see me at trapeze i am yeah i'm usually sober all the time i was just i was waving my bottles of water around this last weekend the bartenders all know that if i'm carrying my my mug they're putting tonic water or soda water in a line yeah i get one drink in the beginning one drink and then i go yeah that's usually yeah that's usually how we do it too or we'll have like two at the beginning and then just water the rest of the time but yeah that's the good thing about taking my cup no one knows what's in it exactly when we first started going to trapeze we would drive up there yeah and then i would stop drinking at like 10 30 11 o'clock and then i'd drive home at 3 34 o'clock in the morning yeah just have like two when you get there and then just drink water the rest of the time so i said we've that's usually how we roll i don't know it's just better experiences we feel better at the whole yeah it's just better when you experience more you're more you're you have the clarity like if you're that drunk then you're not you don't remember stuff and i mean yeah yeah i understand you're seeing the wheels like i understand like the whole social yeah let's loosen the wheels yeah sometimes you need a little little liquid courage sometimes there's nothing wrong with just a little lube just a little yeah just a little lube's good hey so i have a question um for you all uh just you know as as you're you know i know you um you do a lot with bdsm is there a different dynamic from consent with bdsm and how do you figure out what's what's what everybody wants Is it a similar with BDSM.
Is there a different dynamic from consent with BDSM? And how do you figure out what everybody wants? Is it a similar model? Well, in BDSM, we're in negotiations. If we're trying to plan a scene, it is sane and safe. So they are completely sober during the conversation.
If I know I'm getting ready to do a scene i don't drink at all i'll drink water no alcohol like they just don't really do drugs or alcohol aren't involved at all but for the most part it's really similar just making sure and then yeah and then in kind of blending the two worlds slowly like it's consent from all like if i have a woman wanting to do like i need full verbal consent from the husband like what do you not want to happen i can make like everybody knows what they want like in their head but they know for sure what they don't want and so what what is your language like in their head but they know for sure what they don't want and so what what is your limit for your wife to happen to your wife like what do you not want to see and a lot of times it's you know you're good um i'm like now i i have a safe word with her i'm like you're going to be watching what's your safe word because if you experience something then you know i need a cue to be like okay and then we can you know take a time out slow everything down you i can we can talk it out you Even if it's just you feel a certain way, safe word it.
And we'll stop. We'll bring everything out. And then we'll just talk about it, see what happened and what you liked, what you didn't like. Because a lot of the people in this lifestyle are new to the BDSM.
So they don't understand the extent of where it can go and so it gets to a point and sometimes it's too much for the spouse to watch so they have to stop it That's really interesting I've never thought about that point where the spouse themselves has also they should also in any in any dynamic um that's also uh you know if i if i saw something i didn't like yeah yeah let's let's stop well early on you and i had our code words oh we're definitely yeah we had our code words earlier yeah we have we said my mother-in-law's name i think that was yellow flag we said my it was my uh grandmother had a code my grandmother's name or something that was a code word for like red flag yeah yeah we dropped signals and stuff like yeah keep going slow down now our code word is hey i need just a minute and we're not exactly we had a lot of code words exactly like we're we had a lot of code we had a lot of colors when we were 24 7 like before we went into a situation it was like if like we'd let her know like or she'd let me know it's pink like and what that would mean is everything's on the table except like i can't call you daddy in this situation or you know don't call me baby girl or like i like like or um red was obviously full stop yellow was slowed down uh yeah impact play we have fingers like as a five stage system five's too much one's not enough three's perfect so if i'm spanking her she was had fingers i'm watching her fingers so i know how hard to I don't know.
age system five's too much one's not enough three's perfect so if i'm spanking her she was had fingers i'm watching her fingers so i know how hard to you know where she was i mean we had a lot that's yeah that's all it's all it's all consent it's all consent okay what's good what's bad yeah yeah again it's communication and consent yeah yeah for sure as i said the two those are the two most important things about this lifestyle yeah and have you ever seen any like exceptionally well ways other people handling consent have you ever any good like tips or anything to kind of wrap everything up just overall i know we're running out of time and just kind of last things to say about um i mean as far as what i've seen other couples do um it they have communicated with us before any kind of play session and went hey we do a check-in while we're playing so we may fault it may just be eye contact it may be a head nod they're like you know if anything's going on we may step aside for a minute it does not mean that we're not enjoying things and so that is probably the best thing I've seen yeah for sure and I think we've seen people who have somebody felt uncomfortable and they said i need to excuse myself um and it wasn't it had nothing to do with us it was for them there were you know there was a situation and okay we need to take a break yeah it doesn't always mean everything's off the table forever and it's all done forever it can just write so many times yeah i've had to just be like especially in the very beginning in group play and kind of figuring that out i was like i you guys keep doing what you're doing you're doing great i just need to breathe for a second and regroup and figure out make sure i'm good and it doesn't mean that anything had bad happened or you know any boundaries were crossed it was just like a moment sometimes it gets to be a lot yeah it's a lot of overstimulating it is it's hot yes sweaty it's you know it's not the most glamorous thing always sometimes they just need a second to regroup and figure out what we're doing here yeah yep yeah and he and then i guess kind of wrap it up we're already at time's about up already as i said time goes so fast on Time-wise, it's insane.
Do you have any projects, anything you want to talk about going on soon anything more yeah so our our next event we have a um uh we're going to announce a pride event it's going to be a limited invitation today yeah you know gay lesbian bisexual men uh but i think um it'll be limited uh in a little bit like a smaller venue smaller venues yeah so that's our next local event um and we figured it's it's kind of i want to say it's neat but it is uh but it's it's during pride weekend in atlanta's we're excited about that that'll be so good i'm so excited to see that we're gonna be eye candy um in pigeon forge what is it home in the hills partnered with them for that uh and then the next one is we partnered with uh trapeze for our birthday oh yeah we're really hoping to make that one because i was like i think we might be able to sneak him away for november i think we might be able to sneak a think.
Give me an extra bed. If not, I'll be sneaking away. You know how I do. Always welcome to stay. That's right. That's right. Those are our next big things we're working on and then we're planning our 2025 calendar. Yeah, it goes. Yeah. It's going to be here before we know it. I know. It's already almost the end of the year.
I can't believe this year's almost over swinger season is swinger swinger season is swinger season it's nice weather today was absolutely beautiful i know yeah we've got all we've got going on the secrets we've got secrets coming in october 3rd or 6th we'll be there with the swinger society so excited always love going to secrets and such a Secrets. And such a good group of people. There's like, I think, 13 rooms left or something. 12. 12. Something like that. And so there's a few rooms left. And all that information is in all of our links below.
And then we're going to have all your information down there if anyone wants to follow you and connect with you. You guys have been amazing. We've loved getting to know you over the last six months. Same.
It's's been nothing but fun we've had such a good time good memory yeah it's been fun yeah we're we're excited to see what happens over the next six months it's gonna be crazy we're gonna yeah we're gonna keep it going we're gonna keep it going exactly going lfg i'm never gonna age out let's go yes forever forever and ever we appreciate you guys being here oh thank you for having us yes let's do it again here yes i was gonna say let's do this again we have many more things to talk about and more yeah yes always more we may need to come down there so we can all do it in person it's always better yes always better in person we'll definitely do that when you guys come.
You're trying to get in my bed, Rob? I am. We only do a guest. I just want a selfie with the slime. All right. All right. So, I guess. Thank you. No, thank you. Yes, thank you for being here. That was Hot Couple Chronicles. It's not that serious. Don't make it weird. Love you guys. Bye. See you soon. Love you. Bye, guys. it's not that serious don't make it weird love you guys bye bye guys
