In this episode, we delve into the unique intersection of swinging and BDSM, exploring how these two lifestyles can complement and enhance one another. Join us as we share personal stories, insights, and tips for navigating the complexities of a BDSM dynamic within the swinging community.Special thanks to @nominalfilter for the original music! Check them out on SoundCloud: NominalFilter.Voluptuous Vixen: Inclusive clothing company! Use code hotcoupleinga for 10% off!Find All Our Links Here: LinktreeUpcoming Events:Swinger Society’s Back Stage Pass Takeover at Secrets Hideaway: More InfoFollow Us:Instagram: @hotcouplechroniclesTikTok: @hotcouplechroniclesFacebook: @ThatHotCoupleInGAInstagram: @HotCoupleInGATikTok: @thathotcouple_ingaX: @ThatCoupleInGALocal Communities:SDC: 2 free weeks with code 36775: JoinSLS: 1 Month FREE: Sign Up3Fun: Free app for local swingers: DownloadSwinger Society Discord: Join 40,000+ swingers: JoinHealth Wellness:Shameless Care: $30 off ED meds or STI testing: OrderHello Wisp: 15% off sexual health prescriptions with code INGA15: ShopPremium Content:Ashley’s VIP OnlyFans: No Pay Per View: VIP OnlyFansAshley’s PPV OnlyFansAshley’s Fansly: FanslyRuss’ OnlyFans
Transcript
Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about Mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out.
Every product is sourced from small, American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com to get started. Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle. Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences.
While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on this adventure. Welcome back. I'm Russ. And I'm Ashley. And this is Welcome back. I'm Russ. And I'm Ashley. And this is Hot Couple Chronicles. Welcome back. It's Thursday.
Thursday now. We just released our third episode yesterday. Wednesday. So every Wednesday you get to hear some little snippet of our lives.
but last weekend I spent the weekend with three of my closest girls and they came over and we did a girls weekend it was a working weekend to make stickers and prepare for secrets and stuff and then it turned into this whole big thing and everybody was coming with all of their machines to come make stuff for secrets and we didn't make anything for secrets and it turned into a hanging out everybody needed it for their soul we all we've all been going through it so it was it was much needed girls weekend but it was good we all sat down and had a little talk we did do a lot of working we got some we got some tiktoks done and more than we usually do we did take pictures and we got to have some fun too we got to play a little bit and it's good having everybody here we love we love having them here and so but the audio on that one the audio is that's my fault i had to work so i wasn't here he was not here he had to work and i had never used any of the equipment by myself he usually sets it up i sit down and then just start talking into the microphone and i could have swore it was working and turned out both microphones were not working and we're just passing it around for nothing but he worked really hard to get the audio to where it's supposed to be and there's always our podcast always has a video option with all of the captions on Spotify and YouTube so if that if you would prefer that I would definitely watch the video version instead but that's my bad I'm still learning I still don't know what I'm doing here we're still trying to figure it out but it was too good of content not to put it out if it was just me and you we would have scrapped it but there's the chances of having all three of them here in my bed yeah it wasn't going to happen again and if you tried to record it again it wasn't going to be as genuine no no we had spent like two hours on it and uh hated to just get rid of it so we did the best we could it's a little long game but it's all right it's all right we're just gonna get better from here we're gonna keep going and yeah that's that pretty much sums up last week and now this week we're talking about something that all of our friends have been wanting us to talk more about is our bdsm journey that's where we started that's where we started that's how we kind of led us to this lifestyle um because it was it's a whole separate lifestyle we've kind of kept them separate over these past three years really yeah i mean here and there we've had a little bit people are very curious yeah everybody wants to we've dabbled in a little bit of impact play and stuff like that we've done um bondage rope bondage uh demonstrations we went to tempted last year and did that and then we did a flogging demonstration was supposed to be a flogging demonstration it was just like five minutes of me being flogged turns out but supposed to be a flogging demonstration and um we've had a few ties you've tied a few people some of our friends and you know we pulled out some spanking but other than that we've really kept it pretty vanilla for the most part and we've not really gotten very deep and it's hard we found it really hard to intermingle with the lifestyles because the education isn't there in the swinger lifestyle they think it's more of a kink for them more of like pulling out the flogger my whole point is consent and safety yeah they are not a lot of them aren't as educated on like aftercare and like consent and different you know signals and you know yeah i mean i focus on that those two things consent and safety and one when you're in a like a swinger club or in that space there's alcohol that's the number one thing is that a lot of swingers use alcohol and that's like the number one rule in the bdsm land is you do not you do not consume alcohol or drugs before you play we did all of like attempted last year okay we were completely drank water that whole time drink anything until after we were done and then i had a couple drinks but i need to be uh fully aware and a sound mind that's one thing that just doesn't mix well and people just aren't educated it's not their fault a lot of people in the lifestyle just aren't educated on bdsm lifestyle so it gets a little bit messy we've kind of pretty much kept them you know kept them completely separate from the most part but everybody's pretty aware that we're in this lifestyle as well yeah and we have you know since we joined this lifestyle swinger lifestyle we have kind of backed off of the bdsm completely pretty much and we have been pursuing non-monogamy now for three years so we figured we'd go more in detail though our friends are really curious our friends are very always asking all the questions there is a lot of curiosity a lot of people who are very interested in it from so let's just i should we just dive into what our dynamic was i guess so yeah so or where we started i think we should probably where we started where we started from yeah probably so i mean we're talking hell probably for 13 14 years 13 years now yeah probably 13 14 years now yeah uh Thank you.
We're talking, hell, probably 13, 14 years. 13 years now. Yeah, probably. 13, 14 years now. Yeah. I came across some rougher stuff on the internet. Yeah. On the internet. You're allowed to say. Porn. And I was intrigued, and I liked it, and so. It was much like the swingers. A lot of swingers, the way that they were introduced to the lifestyle is exactly how we were introduced to BDSM. You came to me after seeing stuff that you were interested in and had to come and sit down and approach me. Yeah, instead of the swinger talk, like, I think I'm interested in this.
Can we dabble inble in this that's very similar to that was hey instead of swinger stuff it was yeah bdsm yeah bdsm stuff instead but it was a very similar thing where you had to come to me and i was pretty vanilla at that point yeah and you weren't so you never once have ever said i was down i just didn't understand it't understand it. There was a lot of stigma, like swinging behind it, where I thought you just were looking for an excuse because you wanted to see me in pain, period. Yeah. That's as deep as I thought it got. It's easy for me to beat you. Just a way to beat me, make me hurt.
That's it. And so I wasn't turned off and I was just, you know, taken aback a little bit and I just wanted some time. I needed some time to just educate myself, much like swinging. Like it's a very similar journey. And then I was down, still didn't understand. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary.
Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small, American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com to get started. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog.
If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. I'm still, you know, dove into like research.
You said you had to go do like look and do it yourself and so we revisited the conversation yeah like a week or two later and then we just slowly started incorporating like you know a flogger yeah well like you like you you said you like okay willing to try this stuff, but these are my... Yeah, what I don't want. This is what I do not want to do. These are my... What scared the shit out of me. This is the stuff that scared me. Yeah, these are my limits. I don't think I can do that. Okay. And so we started experimenting. Yeah.
And it was very light bondage, handcuffs, blindfold play a lot of yeah a lot of wheels and a lot of feathers and candle wax candle wax a lot of sensation play a lot of like very we very slowly incorporated into our life like i was very timid and cautious and you know i didn't want you to and as we got more comfortable through experimenting we added different things and eventually we ended up in a 24 7 dynamic which for those that you don't know it's 24 hours seven days a week everywhere not just the bedroom I'm submissive you are submissive i was the dominant and and at that point i had already like you already collared me yeah and i was wearing my collar and we just kind of made it 24 7 and it slowly started taking over it did our life and it slowly started becoming who we were and it started like just in the bedroom yeah a couple nights a week and then it was daddy and you know and then it was daddy around the kid it was just daddy or you know you were just daddy and then it was like i'd kneel at your knees or at your feet you know watch tv like it was a lot of little things here and there and then we slowly you know you had the list of you know we had a list that we had went over with like contract I guess you call it I hate that word but like a contract of like an agreement and rules and you know the consequences and different things I had to work on and you had to work on and we did our own separate work yeah you know you did went and did your work and then i did mine and then we did together and it was a 24 7 thing and then we had you know people always ask us how did we incorporate that with having four babies at that time we had little babies yeah at that time and a lot of like hand signals subtle things that we incorporated you know and i still had my code words and i was like he was working a lot at that time and i was very much like the head of the household I don't know.
separated you know and i still had my code words and i was like he was working a lot at that time and i was very much like the head of the household it was me and the kids all the time so i was in charge of the home i still did all of that and when i was at home we had an app that we were connected with that we could communicate and i could i could check off all my stuff yeah and you could see i was doing it and most of the tasks people always ask what the tasks were most of the tasks were like for me because most of the it was for your health and your self-improvement yeah it was like drinking enough water yeah journaling journaling stuff like that it was it was nothing really too crazy or hard and it wasn't anything it wasn't him making me do things like you know shine his shoes all the time or whatever but it was a lot of working on me but you are very much a service sub you enjoy being of service yeah so so I like having tasks i enjoyed that part about it i i loved that part about it i fought it for a while though i wasn't a very good so i am now but i i was not at that point i was i wasn't used i was always very independent i don't you know don't want a man tell me what to do type vibe and so it took me took me a minute to be, cause I would, and then I would procrastinate and then I would whine.
Well, sometimes you do fits just because I want to punished. Yeah. Yeah. We had to work through that quite a bit. Cause I do enjoy being, I do enjoy. But then the punishment wasn't what you, I'm a sadist. Yeah, I'm a masochist. Sorry. Yeah, then you realized the... Yeah, I wanted to be in pain sometimes. The punishment wasn't what you wanted it to be. I'm a good submissive. So it was that struggle with, I don't like bratting, I don't like brats, but I do like to be punished sometimes. I had to work on that. I had to figure that out.
Well, I had to pivot then, too, because like, oh, she wants spanked. This is why she wants spanked. Yeah, not for fun not for punishment yeah because i am a good girl and i do whatever i'm told but also so i had to pivot the consequence be like okay you're not getting spanked like that was your punishment yeah that became more of my punishment than anything was you're not getting any of that. And so I had to work through that a lot. It took, I mean, years, many years. I'm pretty, very, probably the most submissive person I've ever met at this point.
But it did not, I mean, we're talking, like you said, like 14 years now to get me there. But I'm a different human than I was then.
And full-blown like just had a baby had little babies toddlers like yeah mama for running a household and working full time and doing all this shit in the background and then you know adjusting to always being submissive was a hard it was hard for me it was took me took me a couple years years to figure that out but yeah and now like we said now we've pretty much pulled back from all of our bdsm stuff we still incorporate it we still do it for fun um it's not the 24 7 dynamic no we're not yeah and i don't wear my collar every day and it's. It's not at the forefront of our life. Right now.
Real life stuff. Yeah. He works third shifts. I work, like, it's schedules. And so, yeah, schedule is just weird right now, and our kids are older. It's a lot harder. It is. It's a lot harder to subtly put it in there than it was, you know, when we have teenagers and adults in our house. And now, you know, before we had toddlers and babies. It's hard for me to put a vibrator in your panties for you to walk around the house. Yeah, it's a little harder to be subtle and, you know, life just doesn't make it easy to be as kinky as we want it to.
So now, like swinging we do, it is very much like a on vacation and away from our home type thing so it's a lot easier to do looking for a community that understands your lifestyle join sdc the premier swinger site and app with over 3 million members sign up now at sdc.com or download the app and use referral code 36775 for an exclusive two-week trial connect with like-minded individuals and explore new experiences with sdc today go to the link in the show notes below and we're back we're back still here so we kind of touched on where we how we got into bdsm and why we kind of backed off a little bit, but let's talk about kind of blending our two worlds now.
Yeah, we definitely are stepping more into both worlds together. We're kind of definitely, I mean, like we were saying, there's a lot of curiosity in the lifestyle and a lot of people who want to learn more and they want to know all the things. Let's be honest, buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about We'll be right back. want to learn more and they want to know all the things. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com.
Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flower, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small, American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood.
And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com to get started. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too.
With RSS.com, starting your own is easy upload an episode and we distribute it to apple podcasts spotify amazon music and hundreds more track your listeners see where they're from and start earning from ads like this even with just 10 listeners a month if you've been thinking about starting a podcast this is your sign start free at rss.com i love it i do love that you'll see dungeons at pretty much every swinger event yeah all the resorts and stuff there's some kind of dungeon area good ones actually have a dungeon master the best dungeon i've ever been to was secrets back when they used to have a carnival risque there and they'd have the math the dungeon master there and they were so good at just helping everybody well they were a learning dungeon yeah i loved it i loved that so much they were more than happy to help and educate anybody that walked in there's been quite a few times in the swinger world that i've we've kind of you know did the bdsm stuff and i was turned off by the way swingers acted the way swingers i don't know i don't think they understand how much how many years of education and how deep it really gets and so there's a lot of like like when you're in a dungeon you don't speak period unless you're spoken to it's a low decibel area you stay quiet you stay silent you don't you know you don't you don't want to interrupt this somebody's scene a scene is way more than you think it is.
It's a low decibel area. You stay quiet. You stay silent. You don't want to interrupt somebody's scene. A scene is way more than you think it is. It's not just someone bending over and spanking someone. And that's where I think the misconception is. It's not just that. It's a whole entire scene. You have to get into that space. And that's why I was turned off. We did an event last year. And it was supposed to be a learning thing. And as soon as I tapped into it, it's hard for me. It took me years and years to learn how to get into subspace.
And subspace, if you don't know what that is, it is you feel high. It's like you're in this whole other. It's a mental state that you actually let go. Yeah, disappear physically. Like your mental, your mind goes away from your physical. And you're in a whole different world. And it's dangerous. It's super dangerous because I have no control over what's happening at that point.
And that's why you depend on your dom so much to see that you're there and to keep you there safely and to get you back out of there and because it's it can be scary and i don't i don't think people swingers understand that and what subspaces and dob spaces and all of that and so you know once you get into subspace you can't just like tap someone on the shoulder and be like okay you're done get up go like it's not it's not good it's not that's not what you do it's a whole and i had never done it in public a whole recovery and aftercare and i had never gotten into subspace in public and i did at that point and like i was allowed five minutes and then was expecting to snap out of it and just be good and there was no focus on any like it was just very yeah it was it's not a good it's not a good feeling and i didn't like.
And so we've been very cautious. And plus, let's be honest, just like swingers, there are people – BDSM is hard. There's people that are in charge or think they're in charge who know everything and all the things.
And if you don't know every single thing, fact and answer, can answer every single thing, like you are – There's an egotistical side of bdsm that if you meet other doms that are real doms you'll see you'll understand it's like it is a power it's a power thing oh it's always like the whole time like because i've had conversations and drinks with doms or and it's like a pissing con it is it was like and he and i i'm not that happy he's a pleasure dom he's very much a pleasure dom he doesn't have that big alpha arm biggest in the room he doesn't carry himself like you know quite a few doms do and so i don't have to show you don't have to prove anything i'm not there to prove my dominance to this other dude yeah like i don't like all right man yeah yeah and so and so it's hard to like Thank you.
my dominance to this other dude yeah like i don't like all right man yeah and so and so it's hard to like you know i want to i just want to i think as long as it's consensual as long as it works for you and your partner partners that's all that matters there is no rule book that you have to follow each thing or you can't be in the lifestyle there's no private only thing that bugs me in that type of situation is when i see people that don't know what they're doing and are experimenting which is fine like it's great but i see unsafe things happening the safety part and i want to be able to step in and be like hey i'm not trying to like interrupt i'm like but this is not you could kill someone like you can hurt somebody kill someone like safe and i want to show them the correct way to do it and i really don't have like i don't want to i'm not the type of person to intrude that and it's just it's like can we of here?
I can't, I can't watch this. It's hard to keep your mouth closed. It's hard to watch people play around the things that they just aren't educated on or about. And it's hard. It's just hard. And, you know, we are not saying that we know everything or do everything just because we've done it for so long.
We don't, you know, we're're always trying to find new ways to let you know luckily most people are like they're trying it are have reservations and are intimidated by it and are cautious so they don't go full throttle but once you start involving alcohol and rope and pack toys, you lose some type of control. Like you don't have like someone has to be if you've had four or five drinks and you go to a dungeon at a swingers club and you start. You can't consent under the influence of alcohol. No, you can't period. And so that's. No. You can't, period.
And so that's where it gets messy and it gets hard to navigate. And I understand people are curious and people want to implement things into the lifestyle and stuff. But it does get confusing and hard. And that's why we just always kind of kept it a private thing. We've always kept it to ourselves.
Well, the few times where I have, like, flogged another woman other than you is you know they can do like yeah people want you know can you put me on the sandrew's cross can you you know he gets asked all the time to tie them and my first in night it's one thing if the husband comes to me with the wife there but a lot of time it's just the wife yeah yeah and it's like i would the ones who really want to experience it's usually a husband and wife thing it's usually like there's been a few times where it's just been the wife like i'd love to where's your husband yeah consent from all yeah it's key and it's like she's like oh she he doesn't care he told me to go have fun.
That's awesome. I just would feel more comfortable if he was here. Or I start beating the shit out of you. You're not going to beat the shit out of him. It's messy. It's complicated. It can be dangerous. We've always very carefully navigated that line between the lifestyles.
What are some of your pet peeves um for me like you're my daddy period yeah and to me daddy is is that's your title and you earned that title and it took me a long time to give you that title with all my heart and all my chest so and so when people run around and then especially like when we're you know bringing in some bdsm things and then they start calling you daddy i can't with it like that's the one way to just it doesn't make me mad it doesn't make me like upset or pissed off at them but it because they don't know they don't know and i know that and i know they don't understand how deep daddy is for you and not on me but like and i know it's a word a lot of people toss around lowercase daddy all the time but like you're my uppercase daddy and so it's a it's definitely hard for me now to like especially when they now that they know we're in bdsm they always try to like you know bring that up somehow and that's usually how they go about it daddy no one ever asks me no one ever says and he runs it by me nothing like that's a big word yeah for me anyway that's a huge huge word but yeah that's like my big big pet peeve what about yours i think it's just the safety safety yeah that's what i was gonna say it's been my other one is safety like what seeing it happen and i'm trying to help everybody a lot and but not inner you don't want to interject yourself no on other people's they don't i'm who am i to stop it you know but also it's like like you're where's your shears where's your like you can where's your safety you're going to enjoy a lot this a lot more if you do it you do correctly take your time slow down it doesn't have to be throttle tie you up to a cross and beat you like it can be it can be like you it's so much bigger and deeper you realize that's a slip knot around her neck right like that's like that and you have no way to cut it if if it goes bad and all it takes is seconds and it's you know lose all feeling in your arms have you know your legs your your body just as a whole yeah it's it can get really dangerous i don't think i think people underestimate what is going on and how quick things can go bad and then unfortunately a lot of swinger events include alcohol and drugs and that's just not safe period and then you have the whole consent thing and you want to make sure everybody's consenting and everything is consenting well there's consent and again there's the safety because when you're under the influence of drugs and alcohol you can't you don't feel the same things yeah and you don't have the same control as you do when you're sober at all and intertwines all intermingles it's we've been just trying to walk and teeter that teeter that line because we do and we do love both of the lifestyles very much and i crave it a lot from this lifestyle and i want to experience new things like we were talking about um this weekend with the girls like I do feel like I have a little bit of dominance when it comes to females that I never even knew that I had any dominance in me because I have always been so submissive with men and females but now we've been just playing around with switching those roles and I'm like okay maybe maybe something's in there maybe it's been fun to like kind of navigate different parts of it that I didn't know were in it.
You know, for so many years, it's been, I've been in the same dynamic, same role for so long. And now it's been fun to kind of like have other people to kind of test things on and see how I feel and see how I like giving instead of receiving. And it's been fun. It is fun. It is fun.
And there's a lot of curiosity and people are very, for the most part, most to learn most people want to be educated most people are open to that but just just have respect for the lifestyle yeah and how deep it goes for a lot of us and it's not just some vloggers and a blindfold some metal handcuffs like it's way more than that it's way deeper than that and it's in a whole entire part of our who we are and the disrespect sometimes that i see in lifestyle when it comes to that kind of arcs me like the i went to a dungeon one time we went to a dungeon with a bunch of swingers and it was a it was a working dungeon with real scenes going on in the dungeon by people in the bdsm lifestyle yeah and there's signs everywhere like everywhere no excuses and everyone was walking around with their drinks laughing making fun of things going on screaming just very disrespectful and that i think from it took us like a whole year for me to kind of like bring it even back out because of that and so you put it just gave me a bad taste in my mouth I don't know it's just hard to we're still navigating we're still learning yeah we're still trying to figure it out too how to do it but yeah yeah I had a moment kind of like that where we were actually I don't know how you do it because you're I was actually we were actually at secrets and I was flogging you and we had a group, which I love.
It was fine. We love being watched. We love them. There was a couple people that were talking. And that's all I could hear the whole time. Yeah. And you just keep quiet. If you want to talk, go outside. Go away. Period. And they were trying to explain What was going on. And I'm like, just stop and enjoy it. They want us to do a scene and they want us to get into that space. But then when we're in that space, they don't realize how long it takes to get into that space. They don't realize how long a scene is.
a scene is way more than like in that particular like it was just a flogging it was us and it was an us thing we were there doing our own thing yeah they don't understand like it's not i don't put you on a cross and i start flogging like there's a whole like i have to warm you up he usually puts my collar on like i have a play collar i get on my knees i submit i get into the subspace it's a mental space and it's way more and more is way more has occurred before they even show up to the part where we're just vlogging and that's where a lot of people just jump into it and and i again understand that they're curious and they want to learn but sometimes just better just to watch and then ask questions and talk about it later especially when you're in a dungeon space if i could give any any like tip to lifestylers if you go into a dungeon especially one that's not just a swinger dungeon like a real working bdsm dungeon and there's stuff going on just be quiet just watch just look just don't touch don't you know what i mean don't interrupt keep quiet and just watch and you know and then if you have questions after the scene we're more than happy to you know answer them to help you to let you experience whatever you want to experience but just be respectful just be respectful keep the alcohol out of the dungeon don't be loud like that's all and yeah that's like my biggest thing.
In a perfect world, what is your biggest fantasy combining the two? It's going to be weird for most people, but I've always wanted to be suspended. I've always wanted to do that. I don't know that I have always just assumed I can't physically do that. I'm probably going to do that one day i would love to just hang there just hang and let people just admire my body you know what i mean just i just love being tied period and i would love that but i i i don't know that's just one of many do you want to be would you do you want people to look and watch? But do you want to be touched?
Yeah, I want to do whatever you feel while I hang there. Just surround everybody. You do your thing and then I'll just be hanging in the corner. And if you feel like you want to, go ahead. Do whatever. Whatever. I'm helpless. I just want that helpless. I cannot move anything. I don't know.
I don't know i've i like to be used too so that's kind of yes yes what is your biggest fantasy in both worlds i think it would involve us because you've already mentioned and we've already talked about it before this podcast but you are dominant with women i want to dominate yeah that's another one yeah i've always i've said that for years i've said that i would love to do let's be honest buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated sketchy or low quality that's why i want to tell you about mood dot com. That's M-O-O-D.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door.
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That's M-O-O-D.com to get started. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode, and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. Oh, yeah. Or a couple. A couple or a woman.
Like, if we could find a... Even a man man would be anybody like literally anybody like if we can find a submissive couple and both dominate them together we've talked about that for years yeah i don't know why i said this essential thing because that has been like something that i've been wanting to do forever i want to i want to definitely down like a couple together i want to watch a couple be submissive together. Like, that would be hot. That would be really hot. Especially if one of them is, like, not submissive. That would be fun. That would be fun.
You could do a whole bunch of different ways with it. Because we could both just dominate them. We could turn it into a cuck queen or cuck hold situation.
any of that's good we could yeah chest you know chesty belt and cages and key holder and like a whole like i'd love to actually get into the bdsm lifestyle within the single lifestyle period not yeah i don't have tired of this like superficial two spanks and done and like i would love to have a real scene a real scene i'm talking about an actual like two three hour scene that's what i'm saying like i would love a real bdsm at heart Thank you. I would love to have a real scene, a real scene. I'm talking about an actual, like, two, three-hour scene. That's what I'm saying.
Like, I would love a real BDSM at heart scene with educated people that we can just, we don't need to teach, and we don't need to do all the things. Somebody that's already knows all the things, understands the stuff, consents, and we can just play for hours.
I want to actually have a whole, like, sit down and have sit down have a whole negotiation and instead of just me and you have other yeah other people involved yeah that would be really hot we have talked about that for many years but so far we haven't found i haven't found actually negotiated an entire scene because i think it'd be hot because a lot of people don't know like you negotiate limits or and everything and after you're done with that you just don't go and play well sometimes you do yeah but i like to plan my scenes yeah and so it would we talk and you'd have to trust those people a lot too that's I don't get in subspace Very often Signed It'd have to be Somebody deep I don't get in subspace.
You would have, like... Very often. Signed, like... Yeah. It'd have to be somebody deep. Like, no, deep, deep. There's a few couples that we could possibly, one day. But I think that'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah, that would be really good. That'd be hot. No? Yeah. Maybe one day.
Maybe we'll get lucky enough to find those people in that situation and have the time to do that that's the hardest part just finding the time i feel like i'd have to be somebody that is relatively close because i would want to go out for dinner and drink yeah whole night and have a whole conversation about this and actually talk about you know limits boundaries safe words um what they're what they want out of the scene i have and like another going back to like clashing the worlds together and bringing the worlds together another thing i'm current like current not currently it's getting better but i had never watched you dom anyone else i've never watched you be intimate like that with anyone.
And for me, again, it's deeper than swinging. To me, swinging, it's whatever. It's fun. It's temporary. And it's done. You know what I mean? But it's so much deeper with BDSM. So I've had to really work. I've never really had many jealousy issues, especially over the last couple years.
But if I do, it's been peeking up every once in a while when i see you like doing that kind of like tying to me is like the most intimate thing you can possibly do yeah like in it's very deep for me and so i've been i have been navigating that like feeling because i just have never experienced it before it's all new yeah you never watched like you're my dom you know what i mean and so i've never had to watch you be like that with anyone else so it is it's a different it's better it's better but at first the first you know initial was like that's my you know my daddy that's too too deep because you know it's too deep too many feels and stuff and i had to learn that it wasn't it was just like swinging like very much emotionally removed it wasn't that deep it's just an art and just for fun but yeah that was another i kind of wanted to touch on that too because i thought of that when you were talking about that yeah it's another thing to navigate and to figure out and you know it's been it's been fun it's been fun it's been a ride it's been a whole lot of things.
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and we're back again still here we uh we've been talking about dom and sub and all of that and our roles and stuff but i wanted to ask you how did you determine that you wanted to be a dom that you felt like you were a dominant person because you're not like we said i talked earlier about how you're really genuinely you're not a very dominant person.
I think when we because you're not like we said i talked earlier about how you're really genuinely like you're not a very dominant person i think when we started it was part of the stuff it was something i craved i was just a part a cog in another in the machine uh didn't have it was before i got to any leadership roles it was something i wanted to do and i craved it and it was Thank you. Uh, didn't have, it was before I got to any leadership roles and it was something I wanted to do and I craved it. And it was when we got started, that was an outlet before I got any type of leadership.
You craved that. Yeah. Because you didn't have it. I feel the same way. Like I was saying, I was in charge of the house at all times. I was mom and I was the boss I was because you worked a lot like you we were hustling and you were gone a lot and so I kind of held over you know control over the house and the people the little people that lived there and just the household in general and I craved not being in charge and it was very freeing to me when I could I have ADHD.
I have AD a dd i've got all of these and i've got anxiety i've got depression i've got all of the d's and so it was once i really tapped into what it what it meant to be a submissive and to give over my power it was so freeing and so just safe and it felt so good to not have to worry for a minute to shut everything off and to have someone have full control over me and everything i was doing and everything i was receiving and giving and which is really common in the sub it is very very cliche very common yeah like there are a lot of very powerful like influential people that are oh yeah enjoy Thank you.
Like, there are a lot of very powerful, like, influential people that are. Oh, yeah. I enjoy that. Sub. And a lot of people like to dom also. Because they are in such a position of power, has to make all the decisions all the time, they want a release. Yeah.
Because I always have been, you know, in of a boss and yeah not it subspaces alone is addicting as fuck like just being in that space yeah it's like you're high it is it's a natural high it's an adrenaline rush you get this euphoric feeling your whole body just blah like everything just goes blah and you don't feel that any other way it's not something you can you know duplicate otherwise it's its own thing its own feeling took me a lot to get there took me tons of tons and tons of years to get there but once you get there it is very addicting feeling and i like being used i love being used i still do on lifestyle I yeah you'll find me on my knees pretty much in every corner like i do love i'm a very submissive person and i i do crave that a lot the lifestyle unfortunately it is hard to find people with more dominant aspects that would allow me to part of it too and i've fallen into this trap as well is we're all the men are trying to be so respectful yes and yes not come off creepy it's hard to come off as it's a hard line to walk as a man to become come off as dominant yeah i get it and attracted to someone and interested in someone and not come off as a controlling creepy.
Yeah. Yeah. And not too much, not pushy for the pushy part. Cause I need somebody to be pushy quite frankly. I need someone who is more dominant, but don't be creepy. Yeah. And it is hard. I get it. I completely get it. It's a whole paradox. I need somebody.
I crave like someone to be dominant with me yeah but as soon as they cross the line and you're like oh too much you're getting you're getting too too excited yeah it is a very it's i feel sorry i'm not saying it's right it's just how it is it's hard i can't even imagine there have been a few guys that i am able to be submissive with and that i trust enough and that are more dominant men and they can be at least with me can be more dominant and i crave i love that i love that but it is very rare very rare and hard to find because fortunately most men in this lifestyle are super just so sweet and so kind and so caring and so gentle and you know and that usually works and and i think part of that is because they're trying to be so respectful and but there's some nights there's some parties there's some days that i'm just like just grab me and do what you want with me you know it's hard it's hard especially coming from like that more i'm more of a submissive than i am a swinger sometimes i think and so it's hard to like yeah I get it I sympathize for all the men that are interested in me because I do need you you need to take lead you need to take control it's like I need that submissive person to be sexual yeah but not too much not too don't do it like that I'm just kidding but it is true I do need a more dominant partner yeah I do for the most part other than women I need like man if it's going to be a man it usually has to be someone that takes control takes the lead that is that I'm very clear that wants me you know and so it's hard it's been hard it's another it's another thing that's been kind of confusing and a little bit harder okay so kind of going off of that what is it that you like about being dominant what is why do you like to be dominant and what have you learned over the years of being a dom what you want to prove on you know doesn't have to be all perfect wonderful i the responsibility side of it like i like obviously i like the control but i like being in control of the entire space that includes everything from consent and safety all the way to what sensations that whoever i'm in the scene with is going to i'd like like i love that type of control i love being able to so you don't want to just see people bleed and you just know give people pain just i don't like blood but you know what i mean you don't want to just see people crying and just want to hit them no i that's a huge misconception about it what love is i because i am so very much a sensation striking and impact play to create other sensations i i use that to bring basically your blood up to the surface of the skin so it's more sensitive so i can do other things that you would not he's terrifying as a dom because he dom because it's so much deeper.
You always are deeper. You're always going deeper. And I think that's why you don't have to be alpha-dominant all the time personality type person. That's a little bit more, I think, scarier than even the ones that are like, I'm macho big man. I make you do things.
it's a little bit more scary because he is very calculated he every little touch he thinks about way before he does it and like he plans this stuff out he does like enjoy getting deeper and getting into it's it's below surface level it's much deeper than that i think that makes and it's hard for me to tell people always like he's such a he's such a beta and i'm like if you only like me it goes so much deeper than being able to bench a certain amount of pounds and being able to oh you're talking about instagram trolls and shit just yeah just yeah tiktok troll everybody well chances are if somebody's calling it somebody a.
Yeah, I know. I know. It just irks me so bad. Or a cuck. Yeah, cuck all day, every day. We love our cuck friends. It's a thing. They're using it as a derogatory term. It's not a bad thing. No, it is a real-life dynamic that we love our cucks. Which I'm not. No. But also when they're using. They always question his dominance because of how he comes across to others.
obviously projecting oh yeah oh yeah i'm not that's what i don't spend any time on that that's what i was getting at is they're obviously projecting yeah you don't come off though as like that's why dom that's what you get upset about it i just blow it off i'm upset just get annoyed because like they don't even understand how dominant of a person you really are. And they just look at you doing a TikTok for two seconds and think that they know everything. It's just annoying. But yeah, I do think that it makes you better of a dom the way that you do scenes. And you plan out all of your things.
I've had compliments. You're good. You're good at it. And I already said kind of why. I naturally love submissive. I just don't want to be in charge. I just don't. I like to be used. I do. I still do. I think it's getting even more deeper every year that we go. I get more submissive and more i would like to be used i do like to shut off i like to turn off i like to give the power over that's what i enjoy about it but yeah and then like i guess kind of if people are interested in being in the bdsm lifestyle or getting to know more about the BDSM lifestyle, what would you recommend?
First, I would research. Research. Educate yourself. There's so much education out there. There's so many different avenues you can go down. BDSM is such a broad term. And you find what you want to try. And it can be whatever you want it to be yeah and so it's yeah it gets real deep next one would be join a site like vet life we've been on vet life for many many years and that's where we found like munches we'd meet like we see like local groups local events much like swinging that life has a lot of what sdc does it has a lot of events, parties, munches. Let's be honest.
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It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com to get started. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and hundreds more.
Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads like this, even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at rss.com. Munches. Yeah, munches is a meet and greet lifestyle, in that lifestyle. But yeah, you find a lot of resources on actually like real life events there and local stuff that if you Well, dungeons. A lot of the BDSM communities like local communities are so safeguarded. They are very. For good reason.
You are like to even get invited to a dungeon or a house party or something like that within that community you have to go to a munch just to get vetting. The vetting is a big way deeper than it is Thank you.
something like that within that community you have to go to a munch just to get bed yeah the bedding is a big big way deeper than it is in swinger lifestyle it's it's deep but for good reason again safety consent all of the things and there is a lot of deeper stuff that people go into at these places it's a lot more dangerous and and when going to the things you just have to be honest in yourself yeah don't pretend like you're a super experienced sub and you know everything and you know everything you just have to be honest with every if you say you know if you're new to bdsm you say we're new we're experimenting much like swingers like you and we want to learn from more experienced people and just be willing to learn and there's not one person in that room that would be like get out no just like swinging like just like with our swinging lifestyle like if you have questions and i always say if you're going into it be honest with people that are there or wherever you're at and just say hey i'm new i have no idea what i'm doing i guarantee you you'll have so many people there's going to be bad apples here and there but you will have the majority of the people there are more than happy to take your hand to teach you all the things introduce you to all their friends who will teach you things and just meet people just meet communicate the third thing i would say like, piggybacking off of that is watch out for the red flags, the fake doms, and the fake subs.
Fake subs, too. Yeah. They give themselves that title. And by looking for that, you're basically looking for the man or woman that knows absolutely everything. Most dominant personalities don't need to command a room. It's drawn to them. It naturally happens. Watch out for a guy that is bragging about everything. And wants you to submit to them. Period. That demands you to submit to them just because they declare themselves a dom. That's a huge red Thank you. They're bragging about everything. And want you to submit to them, period. Yeah.
That demands you to submit to them just because they declare themselves a dom. Yeah. That's a huge red flag. Because you're a submissive and they say they're a dom and they demand your submission immediately, that is the biggest red flag. Oh, yeah. Submission is earned. Yeah. Well, and that's somebody that doesn't understand what real submission is. Yeah. I mean – You're literally giving all of your power over to someone. It's a power exchange where you're giving your power to me. And it's my responsibility. It's earned and it's done with respect and consent.
And whoever's going at the slowest speed, again, you go with their speed. Watch for the people that you don't push people i don't need safe words yeah oh gosh no i don't need safe words or safe signals or anything i don't need safety equipment i don't need shears and i don't need all the you know water you don't need aftercare aftercare is for wussies and yeah aftercare is i'm too cool to have aftercare as a dom or a sub because doms and subs both need aftercare, which is something a lot of people don't understand and don't know. It's a space for both of us that we both go into.
It's not just me. It's not just you. It's both of us. And aftercare looks different for everybody, but you still have to be open to have that conversation.
If that person's not even open to having conversation don't do it be careful trust your gut too man you know you just know if someone's full of it you just can tell you just can feel it and if you don't trust it don't give your life to someone else because that's what you're doing when you're in that you know it's it's terrifying be careful make sure that you're practicing safely make sure you have all the safety equipment everyone's hydrated water is very important don't be afraid to ask uh for contact information of previous partners oh yeah referrals yeah referrals off of people that they might have played with before yeah i mean a lot of dom sub relationships and they don't like they They just don't last forever but if you could be like can i who are your previous you know subs or previous doms can i you know contact them make sure you're safe and get their input and yeah they should have no problem with that if they have done everything and yeah because usually i mean people change, dynamics change.
And just like a breakup, people just move on to other partners and other dynamics and other things. And as long as you're being respectful and careful and safe, they should have no problem being able to speak to those people you've done scenes with or played with or had a dynamic with. But, yeah, that's a big one.
But for rope rope bondage we've used two naughty boys has been our go-to learning yeah they have a couple books they have they have two books yeah two volumes and they have pictures and they're easy to understand very good beginner's uh guide to a lot of those basic knots and then how to use those basic knots into full pieces yeah that's one and then really like people are always worried about like knowing how to do full body harnesses and ties and what they don't realize is shibari is art. Once you understand the basic knots and concepts, then you can make it whatever you want.
Go off on anything. There's no perfect ways. It can be interpreted any way you want, and it can be used any way that you want to. But, yeah, just safety first. Just be safe. Educate yourself.
Go meet people people it's very similar to the swinger lifestyle same things very same things it's just respect just be honest just don't you know do anything that you wouldn't do otherwise but it's no different than that common sense yeah just educate just as what we say with the slingerland it's all very similar and just have fun and as long as you're having fun and as long as it works whatever it is no matter how weird people might think it is it's okay as long as it works for you and your partner or partners it doesn't matter it's we're not all perfect and we're not going to make it perfect every single time.
But the more you do experience stuff and the more you educate and open your mind, you never know where it could take you. And so I do I do recommend just learning, just learning as many things as you possibly can. And, you know, you never know what you might find. Hey, there, listeners. Are you looking to prioritize your sexual health and wellness? We've got just a thing for you. Shameless Care offers at-home testing kits, telehealth consultations, and even treatment for ED and performance anxiety for when you want to play but your body says otherwise.
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And there's so much more we need to say. But we do plan on doing another episode, more educational. This was just more our experience and our dynamic and all of that in BDSM and questions that our friends had been asking for many years, wanted to hear more in detail about how we felt about it and how, you know, what we liked about it. And they're just been curious about that kind of stuff. And yeah, then we've got, it's Thursday. So the next episode is going to be about my Pineapples After Dark weekend. I am going off on another hot wife adventure alone.
That's all I've done this year has been Hot Wife being alone. You're going with Ash this week, this time, though. Yeah, and possibly her husband. Yeah, maybe. I'm going to have friends there, but I'm still alone. And it's still a whole different experience now that I've been doing this stuff alone. But he has taken a new role on, and he works weekends.
So he gets it all over on you know the weekend which is fine it works great for our normal everyday vanilla life but yeah this swinger life it does not work well for so i've had to i'm still here to normalize weekday parties yeah he likes a good tuesday tuesday you know tuesday orgy shenanigan but i am and yeah unfortunately the whole world works on weekend parties so i'm going to atlanta tomorrow this is thursday now we're recording this but i'm leaving tomorrow and i will be in atlanta till sunday and i am taking ash who we talked to last week and she is going to be sharing the room with me on saturday friday i'm kind of i'm by myself i'm just kind of there for the party i was invited to come a day early and so i'm never going to shy away on an extra day with my friends so i'm doing friday and saturday and then i'll be home sunday so i'm going to try not to tell him too many details and spew too much stuff which is very hard for me because I tell him literally everything all the time especially usually as soon as it happens so I'm gonna try and keep it all in I'm gonna try and keep all the stories to myself and then immediately as soon as I get home I want to just get on here and we can all talk about what happened because it should be fun it should be exciting I'm getting more comfortable actually because you come home sunday i have to work sunday night yeah i know that's why i'm like and then i can hold it until monday yeah and then we could record monday that's what i'm thinking so i'm gonna you're gonna get the raw i'm gonna try and keep it to myself and get the raw experience and kind of talk more about my hot life journey and something i never saw coming and how our our rules and boundaries and all of that this was always uh it was an us thing it always was and we always said it if it was an us thing and we that has been our phrase that we've yeah that we've always used so it's been a whole new experience and still navigating the experience but i am it's getting easier now that i'm getting more comfortable with these with this group and And we love Podoms After Dark.
If you don't know, they are based in the Atlanta area, Georgia area, and a lot of their parties are in that area. And we're lucky enough to only live two hours away from them. And they are some amazing, amazing humans. And they have a team of other amazing humans. They struck out, they struck gold, and they throw some good parties. And they know how to take care of everyone that shows up to their parties. They know how to make them feel special. And you're always feel like you're a VIP when you party with them. And I love, I love what they're doing for the community. I love their heart.
I love it all. So definitely if you're in that area, come check it out.
And we, I'm usually, I'm usually there on my l lonesome but i'm there supporting our friends and maybe one day soon he'll be there as well i jumped on their live yesterday instagram live yesterday or something like that and they're like when are you going to finally make a party because the first one we went to with them was us it was in us yeah the first one we went to that meet and greet yeah it's just and then that next month we went to it's like they're too close for me not to go birthday party yeah that's what i mean and that was the last time i went to a pad yeah and it's it's been a fun time you've been missing out it's i know it's it's been a good one and then we're bringing our friends from our their Swinger Society, other groups that we've hung out with are starting to intermingle with this group.
And it's turning into something amazing and fabulous. I love seeing all of our friends that we've made over the last few years and then all of the new people that are in the area and stuff. So it's been good. So definitely if you're in the area, check out Pineapple's After Dark.
And then we will be both together at secrets yes secrets is coming october 3rd through 6th and that is coming really fast we only have a few weeks for that one yeah we are hosting a room crawl ddsm room crawl actually ironically he's going to be hopefully doing some chest ties that's the plan and we've got some goodie bags and some things and we have a cage and we've got the swings and all the tie down. Is that a St. Andrews crossing there? No. No, there's lots of there's ties everywhere though. There's like so many of them but it's the rest of it is all like BDSM. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe.
Or maybe a bench. It's hard. They give you one picture really and that's what you get. I'm still trying to think of where exactly it's at. I know you pulled me the number, but. But we're there and we're hosting room crawl. So if you're there, come stop by and say hello. We'll have drinks and food like we do every time. And go to bags and come say hello, hang out. We love room crawl. Room crawl is like one of our favorite things about the weekend. We started room crawl way before there was an official room crawl day.
We used to just have everyone come over for margaritas and pizza and then everyone would come to our room on friday yeah and we would we've saved many lives during the room unofficial room call people we would just have post people like friday nights and would have pizza and margaritas that's our thing like pizza and margaritas just hanging out in our room and it was it and now it it's like an official like everyone it's all official and set up and organized but we still love a good room probably love meeting people so if you ever see us you ever are around definitely come say hi don't be shy because we love meeting new people we love all that part secrets sold out not yet no there's still a few rooms left and now they have a fr Friday and a Saturday option.
So you don't have to stay Thursday through Sunday anymore. It's not the four days. And you're also able to share rooms. I know that works out to help with the cost because it's not cheap going to secrets and stuff, but it helps with the cost. All you have to do is buy the day passes, the other couple, and then you can split a room with someone.
And there's a lot of two queen beds and ginormousormous king beds and stuff whatever works for you but pull out couches stuff so that's always an option too definitely secrets is always a good time yeah singer society is always a fun group and they know how to throw a party as well so definitely look into that if you're curious and if you're looking for stuff to do in the lifestyle but yeah that route sums that up that's all really got to say about that thank you for being here we appreciate you and if you're looking for stuff to do in the lifestyle but yeah that route sums that up that's all really gotta say about that thank you for being here we appreciate you and if you have any questions or you ever want to add anything we have our email all of that is in our link trays and don't be shy find it all on the show always looking for people that want to know more and ask more questions and it's all in the show notes and we will talk to you again very soon thank you for being here we love you it's not that serious don't make it weird bye guys let's be honest buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality.
That's why I want to tell you about Mood.com. That's M-O-O-D dot com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small, American-owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow.
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