Review

Hi you. I'm responding here because I want to encourage more participation. I'm just one person and think that a collective approach is much better for something like a profile meant to attract the widest number of people.

Your profile is better, but it's still sparse and it has this sense of a list smooshed together into various paragraphs. The impression is that you're uncomfortable talking about yourself and maybe uncomfortable generally. And yet I know from emails that you're articulate and naturally forthcoming, so is the awkwardness just a product of having to do an exercise meant to appeal to others? Would it help to treat it like there was no particular consequence to how you did things? Or would the reverse be true and what you need is to bring more effort to the endeavor? I'm not trying to engage in some shallow pop psychology here, but I do want the person who shows up in emails to show up here. It's okay to be somewhat terrse in your communication, so long as you can still be fluid.

Maybe start by reading what you have out loud to see if you can pinpoint where you need to make some changes? It should also help you pick out where you have errors.

I like the last paragraph in Additional comments, but you can lose "of me" because it's unnecessary. If you do that, it has some of the naturalness I'm looking for.

I suspect this is less than helpful. What kind of advice would best serve your needs?

Need help on improving my profile. Could you help?

Oh, and P.S. your profile name is sort of awful. You might consider going through the trouble of creating an entirely new (free) profile and then asking customer service to transfer billing to the new account. You'll still need new and better photos and more and better text, but you wouldn't be laboring under the weight of the is he or isn't he 60 question.

Hi and welcome. Your profile has some issues. Part of the problem is that your profile and your single cert are 10 years old. Since SLS does not automatically update birthdays, anyone looking at your profile is going to be uncertain where in the 50-60 range you fall. That your two photos show short hair and hair long enough that it took several years to grow only exacerbates that problem. Most people are not going to ask you to clarify, they're just going to pass.

A recent cert would help. Recent photos showing the same man in all views would also help. What would also help is a better profile, but that's why you're here, right?

Your tagline is okay. It's not great, but it will do.

In Looking For, please use "woman" instead of "female." I will explain if you like, but some of it is that it's grammatically incorrect. The second line needs work, because it's currently an incomplete sentence and it's "on an ongoing..."

For Description, your stats are listed elsewhere and don't need to be iterated here, plus you're going to have new photos that will show your build, etc. The rest is okay, but you talk about fun and having a great sense of humor, but I don't see any evidence. At the very least, you're going to need to turn your okay tagline into something funny. It's been more than several years that you've been in and out of the lifestyle (and if the reason is that you were in monogamous relationships in the intervals, that's going to make it harder to attract couples).

In Fantasies, spell out one on one and, again, it's a woman. Actually, you know what? I must be tired because I was three sentences in before I realized that whole section does not have a single sentence without an error. I suggest reading it aloud as well as sending it through your computer's spell check function and fixing those errors.

In Additional comments, don't even bother with the line about hoping others will respond to all emails. They won't and you just sound passive aggressive. Not a good look and a poor way to end what is essentially a marketing document.

You need more content. If you're fun to be around and a good conversationalist, display that in your profile. Right now you sound a little stiff and terse.

So, go and do some work. Maybe incorporate suggestions as you get them. Good luck.

I am interested in what people think of my profile and what I could add to make it better