Profile Feedback

Part 2, because SLS is being extra fussy today:

I'm undecided about calling yourself good looking. Maybe keep it in and delete it as soon as you have a cert that mentions your appearance? In any case, insert a paragraph break right before that sentence. You make me curious when you say you're not interested in doing things behind anyone's back. Do women often ask you to help them cheat? Because it's not so usual in the swinging community and probably a completely unnecessary bit of negativity here. Also, if you're not equally interested in couples and single women, your toggles should reflect that. Right now, you just ignore solo women and that will not serve you well if you have any interest in them. So, maybe say more?

In Fantasies, you're off to a good start before hitting that speed bump about stealing. People aren't pies and can't be stolen, but besides that it's just weird. This is a swingers' site and largely populated by couples who play together in some way and those of us who want to play with them. This is also a good place to list any semi-specific fantasies about playing with women and couples.

In Additional comments, you're fine right up to "....gauge a mutual interest." Then it falls apart into negativity and passive entitlement. Not a great way to end a profile, so consider eliminating that entire section. Definitely talk about what you can offer and think about this as your last chance to make a sale that you're not desperate for. So, maybe go for light and a little charming?

I hope you make some changes and then come back for a review to fine tune what you have. I think you probably have a lot to offer, but it could be more apparent than it currently is.

Hi and welcome. I hope you've looked at other threads and have an understanding that any seeming harshness is just people distilling and articulating any negative thought anyone viewing your profile might have.

I don't hate what you have, but it's meh. Since the supply and demand ratio of single men is not in your favor, meh won't be doing you any favors. I think you deserve better and that will take some work on your part.

Your photos are good, although I'm not alone in disliking the distracting dark circles over your face. The real problem is that you haven't chosen a default and currently are a Blue Gumby, the symbol of cheating spouses everywhere. So, go into your photos and choose a photo. Maybe the surfing one?

Your tagline is uninspiring. Nobody is going to hate it, but it doesn't invite anyone to open your profile and check you out either. It's fine for now, but maybe think about (or steal from someone far away from you and try) upping your game here.

In Looking For, the cupboard is nearly bare and I think you can do better. It would help to change females to women (I'll explain why if you like), but what would help most is to expand this section. "Fun" is a good starting place, because it could mean a lot of things and you could spend some time explicating what is fun for and to you. Also, do you have any requirements or desires at all for the kind of people you're looking for? Because here is the place to say more. You don't have to add a bunch more words, but enough so that this section doesn't feel like an afterthought. I mean, it is kind of important for people to think they might be what you're looking for.

In Description, you've definitely overused the word "I." Rewriting your first two sentences: I'm tall, athletic, exercise regularly and take care of myself. If you can't tell why that's an improvement, read both versions aloud. The sentence about your endowment and the impossibility of disappointment can go. Let your certs talk about that, don't do it yourself. You needn't iterate your height - it's in your stats and you've already just emphasized that you're tall - and you can leave off the part about not being a gym rat (your photos show a good body and you've mentioned regular exercise; more detail is just air) and about having personal responsibilities. Few of us are full-timers, scheduling generally takes at least a little work and unless you're at sea for four months at a time, it's not in your best interests to appear difficult to meet with.

Your "Looking for" section is a little light. Perhaps get some ideas from other profiles to consider.

You don't really need as much of a physical description when you have decent pictures, which you have. You could perhaps replace that text with other interests and/or things you like to do. It makes for more talking points and potential connections.

Some of the text under "Fantasies/Experiences" fits better in other sections. You could perhaps expand more on what types of experiences you have had and what types you're looking for.

The "most single guys" comment in the "Additional" section is negative and adds little to your profile. It's better to talk about why YOU are different than cut down most other SMs.

Overall, it's a competent and workmanlike profile. No major red flags. It's not outstanding and doesn't light any huge fires, but it also doesn't send me running for the hills. Your pictures are attractive. You seem like a nice guy who could be worth meeting for dinner and a movie or inviting to a party.

Photos:

Good on having a formalwear picture--you look yummy--BAD on taking it in the bathroom. Get out in the wide world and have some other human take the picture PLEASE. No toilets in the background! cringe.

There are two photos obviously taken on a US Navy ship. This is a NONO. The US Navy does NOT approve of Swinging. You can get sent to Mast or worse. You should remove them. You have enough good pictures you don't need them.

Text:

Otherwise, your profile is pretty decent. You have a good balance of talking about the things you should, not talking about the things you shouldn't. Your hooks to topics other than sex are present and worthwhile.

You don't mention single women at all, if you have any interest in them, you should say something about them.

Your grammar is decent. You start sentences with "I" a LOT. You should vary your sentence structure some at the risk of seeming too self-centered.

There's a big Navy base in Hampton Roads, you know... if you ever get here, send me an email.

I would greatly appreciate some feedback on my profile. I have rewritten a few things but hopefully a set of fresh eyes will help me communicate it better. I look forward to the feedback from the wonderful SLS community.

Thank you in advance.