Please critique

Heh. Good. ;-)

Got it! I’m getting their! (I spelled wrong on purpose..lol??)

Hi. It looks really good. Just consider eliminating photo number 3 and then change "loose" to lose, plus seriously consider losing the part about getting coffee that you currently have in Description because you've handled it better in Additional comments.

Eventually you might want to add a little more content to Description, because I don't have a clear sense of you as a person. So, you might want to talk about some of the vanilla things you like. If you like sports or craft beers or repairing clocks. The kinds of things that are good conversation starters and also give a view of who you are.

In the meantime, your certs are good and your profile, even though it's sparse, has some real charm. So, go forth and conquer.

Good luck.

Thanx again!! Added more pics and changed the wording!! Thanx

Looks like you've applied some of MsMolly's advice - you have more pictures and different text from what I saw yesterday. But you still have some work to do.

A few good pictures are better than a lot of mediocre or bad ones. So delete the four selfies - they aren't good. Then crop that picture with you and the two lovely ladies to show only you - including others in your pictures implies you aren't terribly discreet. I know that only leaves you with three pictures but you can add more later as you get friends or family to take good ones of you doing fun things. Remember to smile, watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies!

I agree with MsMolly about the filler text ("LIke I said before," and "Describing myself through....LOL") - it really detracts from your message. And I want to reach through my screen and wipe out all the LOLs. Let any jokes or funny lines stand on their own - adding LOL is just annoying.

A lot of what you have in Looking For belongs in Description or Fantasies - it's not about who you hope to meet or play with. Fantasies and Additional Comments are much better now. So with a little additional information about who you'd like to connect with and some rearranging of existing text you should be looking good. Then copy your text to a word processor and run spell check and grammar check to find the few spelling and punctuation/spacing errors that exist.

I'm not sure if the drinker/smoker preferences still default every time you update your profile but you might want to verify those settings are the way you want them.

Good luck & have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

Hi. I hope you've read other threads in this section, not only because it can be helpful but also so you won't be surprised at how critical this process can be and how harsh that can feel. It's kindly meant, but that doesn't mean it's easy to read someone trashing your profile, which is kinda what I'm going to do.

So, first, congratulations on your certs. They are something that will help, although I'm pretty sure you have two from the same person, just using different profile names. I'd delete the older one if that's the case.

And that's pretty much the last wholly complimentary thing I'm going to say.

Please have someone else take all your photos. Those unsmiling selfies are doing you no favors at all. So, new photographer and go for a pleasant expression, please. Smiling is ideal, but at least pleasant and happy.

Your age range, from rather less than half your age to 12 years older is a little funky. If you're certain that a 56 year old woman is over the hill, that's fine, but move your lower range up to where it's closer to your age. I solemnly swear you will not be discouraging a single teenager from contacting you.

In your profile, you've used LOL waaaaay too many times. Once is too many. It's good to show personality, but this isn't a text conversation. It's a formal introduction and needs to read like one.

As fare as content, get rid of "LIke I said before," and "Describing myself through....LOL" They're just filler and dilute the effectiveness of your profile.

In Fantasies, that whole we can discuss in private is just...a lost opportunity. Don't be graphic or anything, but this is a chance for you to say a little bit about what you want in a way that invites others in to your fantasy world and to contact you on that basis. Instead, you've basically punted and it hasn't turned out well. Also, outline a bit about your experience. Couples and women will want to know a little more than is detailed in your certs. Oh, and that second line in Fantasies? Just delete it. If you need to know why, IM me.

Put something in Additional comments. If you can't think of anything new, then move the bit about believing in chemistry and grabbing a coffee down in this section. You don't want people to think you can't be bothered to finish things, right?

Okay, so, that's all I have now. You could use a little more content, but the first two sections are decent and your certs definitely increase your odds. Collect other advice, make some changes and then come back.

Good luck.

Thanx for all and any advise!