Critique my profile, please

"I will pay it forward by smashing more ass than I ever would have before!"

My work here is done. ;-)

On the boxing thing, it just sounds manly in the context - and context matters - of your profile. So, you're good.

Dear Molly,

Thanks go to you for the thoughtful feedback which has led to immediate results!

For the sake of posterity, here are my responses to your critiques, all of which I have accepted and implemented:

Henny Youngman stays, I guess? Since we all know the cliche about swingers being geriatric I'm not sure if that reference comes off as a wing and a nod to the silver crowd or sufficiently ironic to jostle the panties of folks closer to my age. Not that I really care one way or the other, guess it all depends on who will respond to it. Yes, there's a joke about adult diapers in there...

Re: fisticuffs, I was worried that sandwiching "boxing" between "motorcycles" and "barbells", in a list that includes references to firearms, would make me come off as a real meathead, or otherwise pigeonhole me into a category of folks I most certainly have nothing (else) in common with. I'm not actually a Neanderthal--I just have ecclectic (fine, strange ...) hobbies.

Autocorrect apparently doesn't swing, because it always capitalizes "alpha", under the assumption that the only time anyone would ever use that word would be to refer to the Greek letter.

You are absolutely correct about the invocation of rape, full stop.

Thanks again for your thoughtful feedback. I will pay it forward by smashing more ass than I ever would have before!

Hah. Okay, now I remember why I didn't respond right away. I was waiting for the Henny Youngman joke to show up. And apparently my attention span was exceeded.

Here are my quibbles:

• Alpha in Description doesn't need to be capitalized

• Also in Description, I think you're trying for an emoji, but what you have is a collision of punctuation

• Pugilism? Really? Could we maybe substitute the slightly less effete word? (Yes, I'm joking, but also not.)

• In Fantasies, no to the raped thing. It has way too much charge for women, even though rape fantasies are really common. Try "used" instead.

• Leave off the "don't be shy" thing. It's both a cliché and unnecessary.

• Also unnecessary is the phrase about exuding confidence. The rest of the sentence stands alone without it and also just barely misses the arrogance that it tips over into with it.

And that's it. Thank you for letting me work on something that didn't need much. No, that's not a double entendre.

Good luck! I hope people from a hundred miles away start perving your profile soon. ;-)

Good golly, Ms. Molly, your suggested changes resulted in immediate improvements!

Suddenly I'm on the radar, at least (of people several thousand miles away, but nevermind that part)--it's a start!

I see why you say to fix the smoking/drinking only AFTER the other changes get approved now...

Is Henny Youngman too esoteric for the masses?

Thanks again for your time and valuable feedback!

And hmu next time you surf down the coast. We can take some pics or some shit... ??

Definite improvement in the photos. The tagline not so much. I mean, I think it's funny, because I have context, but who else will? And it's still pigeonholing you in a particular play style. And, yes, I'm aware that sounds much dirtier than it should, but whatever.

So, a tagline for the majority, select a default photo (if you have and it's not showing up, it's SLS and not you at fault) and eventually, when you've made all the changes you're going to make and had them approved, fix your toggles for smoking and drinking.

Also, pretty much every server in every restaurant will be happy to take a photo with your phone. So will strangers everywhere.

Finally, I feel your pain with the rapid hair changes, but your photos should be no more than a year old and reflect whichever look you'll show up with.

Thank you, ma'am!

For reasons I won't bore you with, my access to photos is limited to those on my phone atm, so finding suitable ones that fit your criteria is a bit of a challenge. I've uploaded some meh place-holders that I think will do for now.

Good point about contacting people. So many couples' profiles say some variation of, 'single men GTFO' that I guess it scared me off. But thick skin is my forte (I'll let you read whatever you want to into that), so I'll prepare to get mostly ignored and hope for the best.

I'm a bit confused about the hair bit. Not sure what you meant by, 'pick a side'. If you meant head hair,the problem is it's fading so quickly that consistency across photos is not possible.

I also changed the tagline. Is that better? ??

Anywho, tyvm for the awesome feedback, I truly appreciate it!

Hi. Please put your clothes on. Also, never again photograph yourself wearing just socks and underwear, post a selfie, or have a photo featuring an anonymous woman. Oh, and keep your dick hidden, even in outline, and don't open a photo gallery that includes same without an invitation. And pick a side with hair, always smile in your photos, and have someone photograph you doing interesting things or doing nothing in front of interesting backgrounds.

Now that I've covered the emergencies, your profile itself isn't bad. By that I mean it won't be turning off a large number of people, so nice job. I do have some suggestions, but they're relatively minor.

Yes, you can change your screen name, but I don't believe you need to. What you need to change is your tagline, which helps to overemphasize a play style that doesn't appeal to most of us. Get rid of that and I think you're fine.

Looking For is good. My only suggestion is to add a sentence that specifically mentions that you are looking for couples and women and then is a little more direct in saying what you want them for (and direct does not mean graphic).

Description is good too, although I loathe the word "wifey" (only "snack" and "moist" garner more of my hatred) and there's only one A in par excellence.

Fantasies is terrific.

Additional comments points to some fallacious reasoning on your part. No, not fellatious. If you wait for couples to contact you, you will be spending a lot of Saturday nights home alone. Sure, some will and sometimes it will be the woman contacting you. But, there's a certain amount of hunting that you will have to do yourself if you want to make a success at this.

So, resign yourself to doing some work. If your emails are as well crafted as your profile, you miiiight get responses from 15-20% of the emails you send out, with most of them being of the thanks but no thanks variety. It's not you. It's just reality of the on-line world. If you're socially adept and good at building a network, you'll eventually start getting invited to parties, which will make life way better.

Anyway, rewrite this section so as to eliminate the glaring problem and good luck.

Looking for tips and advice from the types of couples/females who aren't contacting me, lol. Jokes aside, any constructive feedback is welcome.

The only two things I have specific questions about are: 1) how do people feel about men shirtless in their public photos? Is this expected or too much? and 2) is the "bull" in SixFiveBull scaring people away? I'm happy to play that part but its not the only thing I'm interested in. Can account handles even be changed?

Otherwise, go haam! Your ruthless criticism will only help. Any feedback that helps me get into your pants and off my computer at 10:30pm on a Saturday night is a win win for both of us.

Thanks!