Responsibility for your orgasm

OP from one of your PRIOR posts and we quote" Besides wanting to enjoy the fun of swinging I also have this desire to really understand it. I guess it is to understand myself and my partner/s. I have found a few that I like and have some profound statements or ideas."

It does start in your own mind, body and soul... accept and enjoy what YOU do and the rest if you are a giving person will come naturally including orgasms.. if you are in good health!

WE are both older than you and we both have mind blowing experiences and orgasm's .. but we go to the gym 5days a week, eat healthy, lots of pre and pro biotics with plenty of good vitamins daily.. and play sports and travel. We LOVE LIFE and SWINGING; it has worked . Our Pickleball Halloween profile photo is from last month's PB party we sponsored at our community and many more photos in our profile this past year!!

One last thing we both RID ourselves of toxic people including relatives, if necessary, Its our life and our swinging journey!

"Only a self centred fool would expect that."

Or a dominatrix, or a cuckold in to fem-dom humiliation, or other such kinks. We've allways been level playing field, all included, no expectations or obligations, never had interest in any kind of dom-sub things.

To Jawwge: Responsibility??? As in obligation??? As in "you damn well better make me cum??? No no let's not take it that far. Only a self centred fool would expect that. But based on your comments we are in a similar boat. Morning is about the best time.

Responsibility??? As in obligation??? As in "you damn well better make me cum???
I can't think of a better way to destroy an orgasm than to think of it that way. 99% of a good orgasm is mental, requires good mindset, or it jus ain't gonna happen.
I love giving orgasms, and I allways strive my best to give as many as I can. Most times it happens, sometimes it doesn't, yes I'm a bit disappointed if I fail to do so, but I've never thought of it as a "responsibility". As for my own orgasms, I sincerely hope no one ever felt "responsible" for it. Quite the contrary, I'm generally a "once and done" kinda guy, especially in my old age. Cumming is the last thing I want to do, primarily because it most likely will be. In play situations, I'll usually play til I'm exhausted, then sleep, then have my orgasm in the morning after session.

To Lust. Re: your last comment concerning difficulty. That issue is a huge difference than the subject of responsibility. The concern with difficulty is accompanied by the question, why? The only person that can provide that answer is the person it affects. Seldom does a person not know why! Nobody here is qualified to answer that question because it involves either a medical issue, a psychological issue or a physical issue best diagnosed by professionals in those fields.

"...some of us guys had a more difficult time getting to an orgasm now that we are senior."

It's not just age. For some men, it's condoms or anatomy or some other thing that makes orgasm hard to achieve. I've always liked it when guys lend a hand for the finish (because it's hot, not because I'm lazy, just in case anyone wondered ;) ).

I can tell you that the Mrs really enjoys making guys pop, but again, it's because she wants to vs feeling any responsibility.

Also in reply to "Is this a job interview?" I can see that thought, but when we were talking about this there was an understanding that some of us guys had a more difficult time getting to an orgasm now that we are senior. This is what started the whole question.

I did not really like the word responsibility either but it was all I could think off. Thanks for the replies, even though I chose the wrong wording.

Great Post OCBJ.. exactly!

Amazing what some think swinging is and what they must do to succeed!

We both give and receive mutually as we do all our partners.. it comes naturally while having sex with those we want to be around!

Is this a job interview? I always thought orgasm was the end result of being pleasured to a point your sensual senses give way to an intense internal form of satisfying relief that no two people can compare. I never thought of it as a negotiation between two people deciding what task they are responsible for. If that was the case, wouldn’t money be exchanged for a service? Hence a job performance?

If I'm the one taking responsibility for my orgasm, I don't need anyone else there. What I like about sex with others is that a lot of it is a surprise, even with someone I know really well.

Which is the long way around to saying this is not a useful way to look at sex that includes more than one person.

Not a fan of the "responsibility" term either. I believe the answer to who is responsible for prolonging or holding off on an orgasm is the same as the answer to the original question.

I'm not sure I look at it as a "responsibility" to give someone an orgasm as it is a desire to do so. There can be so many factors effecting ones ability to orgasm that I think the best anyone can do is to just try their best. There are of course selfish play partners, but that's not really what is being asked.

I decided to put this here as the question came ups between friends who are all over 60. Who is responsible (not 100% but should try) for giving you an orgasm during sex? I / we discussed how you have to be in the right mind set and you could perhaps help yourself along, for eg the woman can rub her clit.