What if .

"discover that what I had always been intrigued by didn’t make me a perv or dirty old man or just some sex crazed lunatic"

Well, yeah.

A slip of the Tongue can be the truth? Reagan was President when he slipped and said, if the U F O's land it will be the one thing that unites us all.   Lately we have been seeing and hearing a lot more about U F O sightings since Roswell, NM in 1947.   Did Reagan know something? Jesus Christ is the product of an, "Immaculate Conception", as promulgated.   Did Mary conceive from a U F O alien?   It is said Jesus Christ will return.   Will that return come 2,000 years later, 2033 or sooner?   We can not explain the U F O sightings and ancient structures of tens of thousands of years. Is the Government preparing us for the return of U F O's? They said Gallio was crazy and locked him up because he said the Earth is not the center of the Universe.

Catchy, fair enough.

My intro to this world was through podcasts. They helped me to discover that what I had always been intrigued by didn’t make me a perv or dirty old man or just some sex crazed lunatic. When we first considered this we would listen to the podcasts. In the way they were able to ‘normalize’ they also created an expectation (yes we know how bad those are.) Podcast creators always refer to everyone as sexy and these were our crazy adventures. We at the time didn’t and in some way still don’t think we are the ‘sexy’ types that ‘swingers’ are pictured as (hard fit bodies). When we would be at a club, we always felt out of place even though in some cases we were ‘equal’. This inadequacy on our part leads us to be hesitant to approach anyone out of fear of rejection, when we eventually do it’s usually too late. I think that many feel this way but I always wonder what if we didn’t listen to them, would we feel that we weren’t sexy and therefor still be hesitant?

Puppet?... I thought it identified as an action figure?

BT

Oh, plenty. Mostly with missed opportunities.

But the biggest is what if I'd never mentioned the gorram puppet?

Not fair to ask a question without giving your example first!

What if.... I never got involved with one crazy lady. We knew them as a couple, but her husband was rarely home (US Navy). I knew he was "special" (having had extensive dental work done to repair the damage from his SERE training), but knew better than to ask for more info. Maybe he was actually CIA.

After a while, she whined at me a lot about not paying enough attention to her. The day she said "You never have time for me" was when I knew I had had enough.

In an attempt to interest me further, I guess, she revealed to me what her husband was doing. He had spent quite some time growing out his facial hair in order to look passable as an Arab. He did something he was not supposed to do, and told his wife where he was, and sent pictures of himself in his disguise.

So the day she sent me pictures of him as his Arab alter-ego in Yemen (where , it became apparent her electronic communication was being monitored. She went silent (while people paid her a visit) and his mission was aborted. He was extracted from Yemen and immediately brought back to the US, where his career options changed quickly.

J was prepared for the idea that someone might pay me a visit to see what else I might know about it, but that never happened. I never talked to her again. This was in 2010 or so, and our son was an intelligence analyst for the army. He has a big mouth so he definitely didn't hear anything about it.

Honestly, we have no worthy what-if scenarios.

We started in our 20s. We were very busy in the lifestyle until our kid hit the age where we would have some weekend issues and we slowed down. Then we had a period of about 18 or so months where EVERY weekend was a kid issue and we paused the lifestyle. After that, it was back to minor weekend issues. Then we became empty-nesters and now it is back to how it was in our 20s.

About the only what-if that I can think of is if we had stayed in South Florida versus moving here. In South Florida, at least then, a solid majority of swinging happened at clubs. On occasion, there were house parties, but it was pretty much on-premise clubs. In California, it is the opposite. So would we have left the club scene to go to the house party scene if we stayed in FL? I dunno.

But the progression we took in the lifestyle got us where we are now. Our comfort level increased, our understanding of each other increased and I do not think either would have happened without the time put in to get there.

What is a moment in your lifestyle journey that you sometimes wish another outcome had occurred, for the good or the bad.

What if...